We both filled in two sides of the board because I didn't want to list out my thoughts to him in case it led to even more argumentative negotiations. So we took different coloured markers and just wrote out a list of things that we didn't want to budge on. Mine was admittedly larger than Micahs but it ended up something like:

MICAH:

No dating other people
No suing each other
No investigating to leave the bond
No publicly speaking out against one another or the pack
Both put in effort to get to know each other

ATHENA:

Can leave the pack when I want
Can sign my own legal documents Don't need permission to work or get an education
Authority over where I liveAuthority over who I speak to
Authority over who I am friends with.
My family and friends face no punishments with anything to do with the bond.

I do not want to be marked. 

We both sat back and looked at the others list and made our own notes on pieces of paper. He notably was scribbling a lot more words down, his face cut with a hardened stare as he pulled together his case. My notes weren't difficult to make because his requests weren't entirely wild. I wonder if, after seeing my extensive list, he wanted to revisit his own.

"Alright, should we share?" He says, placing his pen down and I nod, watching him stand up to grab a red marker. "Okay, well I am going to kick this off then. First up, leave the pack when you want—this one is slightly more complicated given that it was my fathers command to have you stay, making it out of my authority. But I will continue to give you as many passes as you wish, personally, I'm fine with that. Though I would like to just add a courtesy message." He adds his appendix onto my note with a red arrow. "If either of us are going to go, then flick the other a message with just a where to and roughly how long. If my father does discover you out of the pack it will make covering easier and I'd also like to know."

A message to him every time I leave the pack. I don't need to tell him who I am with or why I am leaving just where and how long. "And you can't stop me from going somewhere if you disagree, not even if it's to another nation." I add to confirm and he stiffens at that. "Okay maybe within this nation a message and if either of us leave the nation we need to provide our itinerary and any other materials relevant to the trip. And either of us can stop a trip if it exceeds two months."

I mull over his counter-offer. Two months is a decent amount of time, and he said can stop, not will. So if I did want to leave longer I could plead my case. Plus, it's better than the current alternative, so I nod my head. He wordlessly adds the amendments in red and ticks the point.

"Can sign your own legal documents. This is pack law, it's out of my jurisdiction to change it," he admits with a heavy sigh, like he has read through that law many times to understand its complications. "But we can come to our own agreement that any legal documents you wish to sign, that do not counter other areas of our agreement or put you in any immediate danger, will be signed by me—no questions asked. And l thought to maybe even it out, I can speak to our lawyer and make you an authority over my signed documentation, until I become Alpha of course."

I don't really want to sign his documents, or care massively what he does and does not decide to do if it doesn't directly involve me. But it's the principle of the matter and I think he knows that. "Alright."

He makes the changes and then immediately ticks my following demand. "You can work or educate yourself as much as you'd like, I have no issue with that. And you may speak to whomever you please. Both of us can enjoy those rights. Living, I can agree to that and who you are friends with is fine with the exception of their nature. Anyone deemed dangerous under pack law or a threat to the safety and wellbeing of the pack you can't associate with, same goes for me."

I nearly laugh at the idea I would be friends with anyone who wasn't a soft cookie. Look at Henry for christ's sake. And even Gabe, he looks tough and maybe he's had a questionable path but I'm not rummaging through the pack cell block looking to enlist buddies. "Sure."

"Family and friends facing no punishment for anything bond-related." He is silent for a moment, a full moment where my heart stops in my chest. "It's illegal for people to detriment a bond between two, its an even more serious crime to actively pull mates apart, but this situation is complicated. Again, I can't change pack law and if your family decides to sue the pack then there is little to nothing I can do. But I'll speak with my father on making an exemption in this case. They are entitled their opinions regarding you, and consequently me, and I don't think that punishing them for it is going to do either of us any good. And anything is a loose term, what do you mean by that exactly?" He asks and I swallow, sitting up straighter.

"Well, their opinions for a start. They should be able to have concerns and raise them with me. I want to be able to discuss my life with the people I love and who I know care with our fear of them being punished for it. And just any other reason, you and the pack can't hurt them because of me, anything I do can't be reflected onto them, any thoughts I have or opposition or actions—I want them to be separate from all this."

He nods, thinking it over before adding a question mark next to it. "I'll speak with my father. But within our own agreement I can make you the promise that no harm will come to your parents, or punishment for anything that directly involves you or this bond, by my hand. Their actions within the pack otherwise are outside of my control."

I release the pressure in my chest and he scribbles the amendments to the side before looking at the board, placing a hand to his temple before rubbing it. "No marking as in ever?" He asks, his voice a deep grumble of annoyance. His eyes flick to my neck, snagging at a specific point and it makes shivers drop down over my skin.

I shake my head and his frustrated hazel eyes disappear behind closed eyes for a good moment. "That's..." he pauses. "Well for a start, you won't ever have to mark me. It's impossible. So there is a silver lining."

"I don't want you to bite me!" I blurt, my eyes going wide with panic at the thought. My stomach summersaults at what comes with the other side of marking, at completing the bond fully. "I don't want that, and I don't want a ceremony or wedding or whatever it is. No thank you."

His face remains neutral but his eyes gutter with hurt. "You might change your mind about that." His hope doesn't sound entirely believable but he states it nonetheless. "I will not mark you until you are ready, you have my word. Until you tell me it's what you truly want, we don't have to consummate the bond. And many wolves mark in private, the ceremony is a formality but we can make it whatever type of ceremony we wish—the rules are loose."

I continue to shake my head and try avoid looking at his teeth as he talks as though it's already an unchangeable part of our future. Gross, no, I don't want him to bite me its just... it makes dread run through me. I saw it once, when I was younger. It was when humans had rights to reject aspects of their bond but still, a lady was running down near the beach, bumped into a guy and he sank his teeth in her neck.

I remember her screams, remember the blood, the horror of it all. It didn't even make the local news.

"No, it's... it's just not for me, okay? I don't want to be bitten." Bitten and then truly, magically, unchangeably trapped. It's not like putting on a wedding ring, you can't get rid of a mark once its there.

"I don't want to agree to ever, not when there is a chance you might one day change your mind. Even if that day is far into the future. But I can make the agreement that I will not mark you until you explicitly agree. And then agree once more three days after your initial agreement." He adds, like I'd somehow get swept up in the moment and say bite me. Not a chance.

It'll never happen so I clamp my eyes shut and blurt. "Deal."

He stands back from the board, his eyes flicking over our changed work before he drops his notes and turns to me.

"Okay, so what is your position on my points? Let's start at the top. No dating other people. Essentially, this term will ensure that neither of us engage in a romantic relationship of any nature with another person. To better understand my perspective on this, imagine me being with another girl, kissing someone else or loving them romantically," he says and it makes a burn erupt in my chest, makes my whole body tighten. "It's just a bad idea. And it only ever leads to terrible outcomes, physically, mentally, emotionally. It's not worth it."

The hurt in my chest at the thought of him with another sears me but the idea that I will never have what my parents have kills me. That any chance of a romantic relationship like I hoped for is now gone. It makes me feel miserable that this is all I get. This is now my one chance at romance and if I don't like it then too bad, I either enjoy it or I live suffering against it for my eternity.

My silence makes anger flicker across the hard lines of his face but steadies himself. "Is there something about the term you'd like amended or you have issue with?"

His question breaks the silence and I pull my hands apart, stopping my fidgeting. "Well you should probably put the whole thing up there. That neither of us should engage in a romantic relationship of any nature with another person. Dating could be confused as a term, Henry and I hang out all the time and people think we are dating because we do fun stuff together. I don't want to stop hanging out with him because it might look romantic when it's not," I say and he nods, erasing his first point and changing it to the fuller description.

"So you are okay with that term?" He asks, pointing to it and I bite down on my lip.

"Well... what if science evolves?" I question and he physically stills. "Say tomorrow they come up with a way for us to exist separately, then would we be able to date other people? To not be together?"

"No." He says but he shakes his head, shakes the fury brewing in his bones. "You know what? Fine. If science can ever find a way to break the bond between us, that won't kill or harm either party in the process and our bond is completely and utterly severed. Then we can revisit the agreement."

Part of me hates the little spark of hope that lights up within me at his statement, like my body is pulling against itself. So if I hold out long enough for science then maybe, one day, I will get free of it? Again, like all the other terms, it's better than the current alternative. "Okay."

I note the agony he tries to conceal, like he see's right through me, looks at that hope and it kills him. But he takes his red marker to the board regardless.

"Okay next, no suing each other. Let's not sue each other. We both need to sign on for legal documentation now so that would make suing each other difficult regardless, but where issues need to be resolved, we instead go through the avenue of negotiations like now and if we cannot agree then therapy, then mediation, and if we still are unresolved then we agree on a lawyer to assist in an internal settlement agreement. It's important to me that our arguments don't become public, it doesn't mean we can't have them or that your opinion shouldn't be voiced but my future as Alpha is impacted greatly by this. It's something I don't want to budge on."

I think over his terms. "Okay, well again, I think you need to add the specifics of what you described into the agreement. But I can agree to that." I wouldn't even be able to hire a lawyer anyway. Not one good enough to take on Micah with my budget.

He red pens the board again and then moves to his next point. "See this one here I have a bit of an issue with," I state and he clicks the cap on the red pen, giving me his undivided attention. "No investigating to leave the bond? So I can't see what I can do to separate myself from this? You keep saying, everyone keeps telling me, that there is no way out and I'm stuck and breaking ties from the bond is impossible. But if that's true then why would it hurt to look? Are you afraid that I am going to be successful?" I ask and he sucks in a harsh breath.

"I'm not afraid of what you will find, I know that there isn't a way out of this. Scientists within the wolf community have researched this since our existence began, humans have also researched it to find the same conclusions. Many more will try to solve it and many more will fail. Every so often someone comes along, thinking they've got all the answers and then they fail. The only known way out of this is death or if either of us ends up with a second mate. Which has happened maybe five times in this history of this pack."

"Second mate?" I ask, the mere idea horrifying me. He means to tell me there is a chance I end up with two? "What happens then?"

His eyes darken, like he too is thinking of me being bonded to another. "Someone has to die. Whoever is the strongest will prevail and where a couple has been fully mated, they tend to remain. But investigating it, going down that path is only going to drive you mad with false hope and drive us further apart."

What if he had another mate? Someone who would hunt me down to kill me? There's not some handover option? "I don't know that I can just take your word for truth here. If you can give me scientific evidence of past investigations and any current then I will decide if I agree. I can't just give up all hope."

He shoots me a blank stare, but I can see the pain that I so casually inflicted with my words. I don't mean to upset him with my hope, but what am I expected to do? Sit here and lie?

"Fine. I'll get you your evidence and we can come back to that term. My apologies in advance for what you are going to find, it's unfortunate, I know, that you are trapped beside a monster like myself but it's what it is," his words are clipped and as edged as he intended them to be.

His fingers angrily scribe next to the clause, his jaw set tightly before he underlines the next one, gripping the pen tightly like he can't wait for this to just be over. "Next up, no speaking badly on each other or the pack."

"I want to be a journalist. What if I disagree with a decision made by the pack and want to write about it? And speak badly? What exactly does that include?" I might sound like little miss Nancy drew, but there is no chance I am getting sucked into some bullshit vague contract.

"Okay, that's fair." He says, thinking over a solution. "Then any article you publish about myself or the pack you must run by the pack house for approval first. We have a public relations team so it won't go directly through myself or my father. If you'd like to show me then that would be great, I won't force that though. If the public relations team deem it un-harmful then you can go ahead."

"I'll agree to that if you give me a list from them detailing what is deemed acceptable," I counter and he sets his jaw tightly, nodding.

"Okay," he agrees, adding that next to it in red pen. "And then lastly there's both of us putting in effort to get to know one another. Before you object," he raises his hands like I'm an untamed animal. "Hear me out. I just want us to both try our best to make this work. I want to get to know you, to at least be friends with you if nothing else. We are bound to have some things in common, some things to enjoy together—we weren't mated for no reason."

So he wants me to give it a shot, to date him like he asked initially. I observe where we are, the heavy pack law books stacked upon his desk and our agreement sprawled in black and red over the board. This was the result of us dating. "I don't think us dating is a good idea," I mummer, hating how the words burn like acid was they pour from my tongue.

"It doesn't have to be dating. I know you think I expect a certain outcome with you Athena but I don't. I will take what I can get and if our relationship never progresses beyond that then I'll have to deal with it. This agreement says as much, I won't mark you, we won't mate until you are certain and I wouldn't regardless. But would like to get to know you, even as a friend."

The truth spills from him like it comes from his very core and I read the tightness lining his features. And the hope underlining it. He's telling me what I want to hear but he's also speaking the truth. He wouldn't go further than what I agree too but that doesn't change his agenda.

Friends is a stepping stone to a relationship, one step closer towards dating and then whatever comes after that. The sparkle of hope that dances in his orbs like a cluster of stars against an otherwise pitch black night sky say as much. There is still part of him that believes that once I know him, once we are close, my feelings will change.

"You want to be my friend?" I whisper hesitantly, peering at him through my lashes. He's not as easy to read as I am but I can still pick up on feelings that I wouldn't spot in another.

He holds my gaze for a long second before laughing as he lets out a breath I didn't realise he held. "Yes, Athena. I want to be your friend." My brows only knot tighter together and he places his red pen down, moving to lean against the desk at my side as he winces. "I know it seems weird for you, I get it. But I want to know you. And if we are on good terms, if everyone sees us getting along then I'll bet it will make both of our parents let us handle the situation."

Befriend him and get the big scary Alpha off my back. He's like a space wizard that has been entrapped in a cave. They will make any deal, offer the most enticing weapons or rewards to make sure they get what they need.

Because having the Alpha stay far away from me would be great. Micah may be open to compromise, but his father made it very clear at that dinner what he expects of me.

"Friends." I reiterate and he nods. I gulp thickly, swallowing my the emotions that line my throat like thick molasses with struggle. "Deal."

It had taken us another hour to flick through the just the key areas of the pack law books. He'd already been through and made tabs and highlights for the areas pertaining to mates and the bond but there was so much. There were books on wolf pairings, human pairings, cases from before assimilation and a shit ton of documentation and evidence for key cases should I wish to look further into it. And I did.

But there wasn't enough time in this one sitting to get through it all. Which is why Micah was currently packing books into a thick duffel bag for me. "Is there a bathroom near?" I asked, finally mustering up the courage to do so. I didn't even need to use one, I just wanted to return Henry's phone call and get a moment out of this office to gather my emotions before he took me home.

His golden honey eyes snapped straight to me, a guilt in his expression at his awful hosting skills. "Yeah, of course. It's just down the hall, three doors down to your left. Do you need me to show you?"

I shook my head, darting from my seat. "No! I'll only be a minute. Should I meet you downstairs?"

He retracted, his hand gripping the spine of an ancient looking leather book. "Yeah," he says with a smile.

I give him tightlipped smile and quickly exit the room, letting out a deep, breathy sigh as the door shuts behind me. My feet move on their own accord towards the left and I grip my temple, rubbing against the persistent throbbing that hadn't dulled one bit in the last few hours.

This was all so much to take in. And I had only just scraped the surface.

Henry said earlier today that we would switch fire and fury out for law books and I don't know if I am happy or dreading that. At least with video games we can transport ourselves into an epic fantasy world in a fit of lighter and the tight kind of emotion that was pleasant. But I was going to have to sacrifice screaming at a screen with Henry. A lot of screen time considering the amount of books Micah packed away. 

At least Henry and my parents would be relieved.

My feet stop dead in their tracks at the loud voices coming from the room just ahead of me. I hadn't even noticed how many doors I passed, the bathroom could be behind me—I have no idea. But the dim light pouring from the open door in front of me piked my interest, and the loud discussion on the other side of it did nothing to quell that interest.

I tip toes closer, stopping when the voices were clear enough for me to hear. "I know of what happened in the Southern Pack." It was the Alphas harsh voice, clipped and frustrated that sliced through the air.

Dread trickled through my body. "Its becoming more frequent Silas." The soft voice of Rose followed. The Alphas name, I knew it was Silas before but I had never heard him referred to using it. Ever. I don't think I could. "I got a call from my cousin who said that three pack members enacted a rite against their Alpha, to the death. A Gamma, a warrior and a human, Silas. People are getting restless and the goddess... I don't know why she is letting the packs suffer when everything is going so well for everyone but I'm concerned."

And she did sound concerned, worry dripped into her tone and the sound was bitter, harsh to my ears. They were talking about the recent uprisings, events that had been narrowed down to foolish, rouge wolves in the media. But it was more than that, it had to be the way they were speaking about it.

"You don't need to worry my love," he replied and it was so strange hearing him speak so softly. "Our pack is in order, I know each member of our forces well and any that could pose even a slight threat are trusted friends. There is unrest, but the Superiors have assured the Alphas that they are going to provide a plan to combat it. Rose, my Rose, I am not scared, should someone challenge my title I am trained enough to prevail. You haven't lost faith in me, have you?" He spoke in a teasing, soft manner, one designed to put her at ease despite the nefarious nature of the discussion.

I shouldn't eavesdrop, I should turn away—"You aren't as strong as you once were, Silas. We are getting older and our son—" her voice hitched in her throat and a short silence developed. "It won't be long before he takes your title but he will be vulnerable. To be a new Alpha is a struggle, you had challenges even before the take over. He will need support and the goddess knows he isn't going to get it from his mate. He will appear weak without her, he start his life on the defensive."

My heart tightened in my chest, like it had been pressed together with a clamp.

"I have trained him since he was a boy. No one that has undergone my training has been defeated. And he has battled against every warrior and stands undefeated." I think about Micah's muscle packed body, and how I once referred to it as a weapon. I guess I was right. But the idea of him battling others and winning makes my skin crawl. It's easy to forget. "And his mate is here tonight, is she not?"

Rose lets out a loud sigh. "They were arguing when I arrived, Silas, it sounded so bad I had to intervene. Her family wants to sue the pack, cut her ties from the bond—I know you encourage him to be strong and he is handling this as well as he can. But he has to be hurting, this has to be killing him. He's still our little boy, our baby. Maybe you could speak with him, as a dad, not an Alpha. And not just about the legalities, about his feelings."

She adds the last part in warning, like that's the ordinary for him.

"I've tried. He will talk to me when it comes to her if its formal but he doesn't open up to me. The most emotion I get from him is during training—which he has been doing a lot more lately. He knows what is at stake, how frail the pack system is currently, I have faith that he will make this work no matter what."

I turn away then, walking down the hall as my heart hammers I my chest. The challenges are more than a threat, they are a sign of the pack system deteriorating, the system that Micah assured me was solid and unbreakable mere moments ago. And without me he will be challenged, hurt?

I'd been sceptical about the reports of challenges before but with the Superiors involved and the sheer concern in the Luna's tone... I know that she's not just afraid of my rejection, there has to be something bigger at play. Maybe I could find out. Maybe I could use my time here at the pack house to figure out some mor—

I slam into a solid substance and I flick my gaze up to see Micah turn around, concern on his face, confusion quickly setting in. "Athena? I thought you were in the bathroom?" He points to the room next to him and I forget how to breathe.

Why is lying such a challenge? "I got lost," I tell him, making his brows furrow. "I just gave up and came back."

"Oh," he says. "I'm sorry, I should've shown you where it was. Next time I can give you a proper tour of the house. Did you still need to go? I can wait here."

I shake my head. "No, it's alright. I can wait til I get home." I say and he nods.

"Sure, well, after you," he extends a hand out in front of him and my bones tighten as he walks behind me.

I don't even dare let my gaze linger on the other halls of the house, well aware of his gaze on me. Snooping here would mean having getting Micah to be fine being away for me for five minutes. It would mean getting him to trust me.