Nililibang ko ang sarili ko sa mall when I saw Phoenix and Cassie, who was very pregnant, he had his arm around Cassie's shoulder at masaya silang nag-uusap. I just had to stare at them for a little while. Phoenix seemed so happy and contented and Cassie was glowing from her pregnancy. She looked really beautiful and radiant, pregnancy suited her well. Napangiti ako ng makita kong halikan ni Phoenix si Cassie sa noo. He's so obviously in love with his wife and they looked so good together.

My heart constricted painfully when my I lowered my eyes to her belly. I was happy for them, I really was but I couldn't help but be jealous. There's always a twinge of sadness and jealousy when I see pregnant women. 

"Hey, Andi!" Narinig kong sabi ni Phoenix nang makita niya ako.

I smiled at him at lumapit ako sa kanila. "Hey, what are you guys doing here?"

"We're just looking around for things for the babies." Phoenix said with a wide smile on his face. 

Napatingin ako kay Cassie at sa tiyan niya. She looks like she's ready to give birth anytime soon. I really envy her. I wished it was me. She's just so beautiful and happy with her gorgeous bump. Kailan ko kaya mararanasan ang maging isang ina? Will I ever know what it feels like to have a baby growing inside me?

"Ilang months na?" I asked Cassie while looking at her tummy.

She smiled faintly. "Seven."

"Now, you only have to wait two more months." I said with a smile and sighed. They were having twins. Phoenix was so happy when he told me the news. He was so excited he told everyone, he was such a proud daddy-to-be and I think it was cute. Kung sinabi ko kaya kay Tristan noon na buntis ako, ano kaya ang magiging reaction niya.

"I know. Ngayon pa lang excited na ako. I can't wait to meet them." Masayang sabi ni Phoenix as he gazed fondly at her bump. The look on his face everytime he talks about the babies was priceless.

"Am I gonna have nieces or nephews or both?" Tanong ko.

"Actually, we don't know the gender of the twins yet. We want it to be a surprise." Sabi ni Phoenix. 

"Oh!" Napahawak si Cassie sa tiyan niya. Pareho kaming napatingin kay Cass.

"Hey, are you ok?" I asked.

What's wrong, Cass?" Nag-aalalang napahawak si Phoenix sa tiyan ng asawa niya. 

Cassie smiled and put her hand on his. "Nothing. I just felt a kick." She moved Phoenix's hand around. "Did you feel that?"

Napangiti din si Phoenix at tumango.  "Yeah, yeah I did."

Tumingin sa akin si Cassie. "They're getting more and more active everyday. Minsan nga nagigising ako ng madaling araw dahil nararamdaman ko silang gumagalaw sa tiyan ko." 

"Oh there it is again!" Phoenix said excitedly. "I have a feeling that we're going to have soccer players." 

Natawa si Cassie sa sinabi ng asawa.

I bit my lower lip. "Can I... can I touch it too? I want to feel it move." I asked shyly. 

"Sure, of course." Agad na sagot ni Cassie.

I put my hands on her bump and felt it slightly move. My eyes grew big and I felt like crying. I couldn't explain how I was feeling right now. I felt so overwhelmed with joy and longing. So this is what it feels like?  Sana naranasan ko rin ito. I wish I got to feel my baby move too. 

"T-thank you." My voice was shaking and my eyes stung with tears. I removed my hands from her stomach.  

Cassie smiled at me with sympathy. She probably noticed I was getting teary eyed. "Hey,  someday magkakaroon ka rin ng baby and that child will be lucky to have you as a mother."

"Thanks, Cass." I tried to smiled. Nagpaalam na ako sa kanila pagkatapos cause I know if I stayed any longer, they would probably see me cry. 

I was sitting at a press conference for a clothing line I was endorsing. Napapalibutan ako ng mga cameras at microphones. Nagsimula silang magtanong ng mga tanong na may kinalaman sa clothing brand na ineendorse hanggang sa mapunta na sa personal na buhay ko.

"What made you decide to get in to fashion and follow you mother's footstep?" One of the journalists asked.

"Well, it's just kind of happened. I never planned on being a model. I really thought I was going to end up being a kindergarten teacher or something like that." Sagot ko.

"Totoo bang maghihiwalay na kayo ni Jason?" Tanong ng isa pa.

"No, it's not true." Maikling sagot ko.

"Babalik ka pa ba sa States or are you going to stay here for good?"

"My husband and I are planning to stay here for good. He's actually thinking of putting up a business with my dad." Sagot ko.

"Would you be willing to pose nude for a magazine?" 

"Maraming nag-ooffer sa akin ng nude photoshoot projects, I turned them all down but now I think I'm ready." Sabi ko. "But I want to work with someone I'm comfortable with. Someone I know. Si Tristan Gonzales, he's my bestfriend's boyfriend and he's a brilliant photographer. I want to work with him."

"Hey." Napaangat ako ng tingin mula sa librong binabasa ko. Jason was standing in front of me with his hands in his pocket. We haven't really talked since nung gabing nag-away kami sa condo ni Aiko. I've been avoiding him since that night.

 "Hey." I said before bringing my eyes back to the book I was reading and pretending to be busy. He sat beside me.

"Can I talk to you?" He asked.

I put the book down and looked at him. "About what?"

"I just want to apologize. Gusto kong humingi ng tawad sa mga nasabi ko sa'yo." He said. "I was so drunk that night and... and jealous. I'm out of control when I'm drunk. Hindi ko nakontrol ang emosyon ko. You know how I feel about you right? I know I've told you this before but I'll say it again, I'm in love with you Andi."

"It's alright, I forgive you." Sabi ko and then I took a deep breath. "Naging mabuti ka sa akin at marami kang naitulong sa akin and I'm really thankful for having a friend like you but we can't be more than that. Sorry, Jason."

He nodded his head. "Yeah, I know that. Siya pa rin hindi ba?"

I didn't say anything I just looked at him but somehow I knew that he knows the answer.

He forced a smile. "I will always have your back, Andi. I'll always be here for you when you need me."

"Thank you, Jason." I smiled and hugged him.

Tristan's POV

"Sir, nandito po ang isa sa mga editor ng The Gentlemen magazine. He wants to know if he could talk to you?" Narinig ko ang boses ng sekretarya ko mula sa intercom. It's not really new to me. Maraming magazine ang nag-iinterview sa akin kadalasan may kinalaman sa negosyo.

"Does he have an appointment?" I asked while my eyes were still on the computer screen. 

"No, sir. I checked and wala po kayong appointment ngayon araw." Sagot ni Jean.

"Well then, I can't talk to him. I'm pretty busy right now. Tell him that he'd have to set up an appointment." I said.

Pinagpatuloy ko ang trabaho ko at dumating ang lunch break. I usually have lunch with Phoenix at the company's restaurant pero ngayon hindi na masyado. Palagi kasi siyang ginagawan ni Cassie ng baon. Sometimes he'd still come with me to the restaurant but he won't order anything, instead he'd eat the food that Cassie made for him.

Paglabas ko sa opisina agad akong nilapitan ng isang lalaki. "Hi, I'm Carlos Mendoza and I work for The Gentlemen magazine."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Mendoza, I'm on a-"

"Please, I need to talk to you. This won't take long." Sabi nito.

I sighed. "Fine."

"I know you're a very busy man ngunit gusto ko lang magbaka sakali kung tatanggapin mo ang offer namin sayo na maging photographer para sa isang photoshoot project." Sabi nito.

"I'm sorry, marami akong pinagkakaabalahan." I said, walking away.

"But it's with Miranda de Veyra." Sabi nito. I paused mid-step when I heard Andi's name. "She said she wanted to do a photoshoot project with you. Papayag lang daw siya kung ikaw ang photographer."

As I was fixing my camera, pumasok si Andi sa kwarto suot ang puting silk robe. Nag-angat ako ng tingin at nagtama ang mga mata namin. She slowly took her robe off, revealing her lingerie to the whole room. She was wearing black lace bra and thong that exposed her butt cheeks with garter belt and stockings. All eyes were on her. Pati ang mga lalaking nagseset-up ng ilaw ay napatigil. I cursed silently, wanting to kill everyone in the room for seeing her in (almost) all her glory. And this is a fucking nude photoshoot! Makikita rin nilang nakahubad si Andi!

"Well are we going to start or what?" Andi raised a brow at me.

I blinked a couple of times before clearing my throat and gesturing her to the bed. Sumampa si Andi sa kama at nagsimulang magpose. Lumapit ang isang lalaki kay Andi para ayusin ang pose niya. His name was Leo, he works for the magazine and he's gay. Hell, I didn't care that he was gay, he needs to get his hands off her. 

"Don't touch her!" I blurted. Parang napasong binawi nito ang kamay mula sa pagkakahawak sa braso ni Andi. Everyone stared at me weirdly. "Let her do her own pose. I want the photos I take to be natural." Dahilan ko.

"O-okay..." Leo said reluctantly bago bumalik sa kinauupuan niya sa gilid.

I started taking a couple of shots of her with different poses. 

"Okay, take off your bra na, Miranda. Let's do the topless shot!" Sabi ni Leo while I was in the middle of taking her photos. I suddenly frozed. Her. Topless. In front of them. Iniisip ko pa lang gusto ko na magwala.

I looked around the room, all these fuckers are going to see her bumpers! There were 7 guys in the room and 3 women. There's no way in hell am I going to let those guys see her boobs! Not on my fucking watch.

"Everyone, get out of the room!" Sigaw ko bago pa man maabot ni Andi ang hook ng bra niya sa likod. Andi furrowed her brows.

"What?!" Leo stood up from his seat. "Bakit kailangan namin lumabas?"

"Can't you see? She looked tensed. Hindi siya komportable." Sabi ko. "We want this to look natural, don't we?"

"But-" 

"Look, I'm the photographer here, I know what I'm doing. Kung hindi niyo kayang sundin ang simpleng pakiusap ko, ikaw na lang ang kumuha ng shots." Sinubukan kong iabot sa kanya ang camera.

Tinitigan niya lang ito bago tumalikod sa akin at humarap sa mga kasama niya. "Labas muna tayo!"

Lumabas ang lahat at naiwan kaming dalawa ni Andi. I looked at her and she was staring at me.

"Why did you make them leave?" Kunot ang noong tanong niya.

 "What? Did you want all those men to look at your..." Bumaba ang tingin ko sa dibdib niya. Hindi pa nga siya nakahubad naglalaway na ang mga lalaking iyon kanina. It really pissed me off.

"Just take off your bra so we can get started." Sabi ko. She looked right into my eyes and a naughty smile appeared on her lips. She reached for her bra hook behind her back without taking her eyes off me, and slowly unclasped it releasing her pink perky nipples. I shifted in my seat, feeling my erection rise. I've seen her body hundreds of times before but it still had the same effect on me.

"How do you want me to pose, Mr. photographer?" She said with a seductive tone on her voice. My pants was getting really tight. She did all the pose I asked her to do. Though it's a 'nude' photoshoot, I took photos showing as little of her as possible. I didn't like the thought of having other men seeing her intimate parts on the magazine, drooling over her, wanting her... like I do right now.

"Now lie on your back, slightly bend one leg and fold your arms to your chest a little." Sabi ko sa kanya habang kumukuha ng shots. 

"Why don't you come here and show me what to do." Mapanuksong sabi niya, biting lower lip. I suddenly stopped taking photos and looked at her, dumbfounded. I felt my throat dry and I had to gulp. She raised her brows, hinihintay na gumalaw ako. Binitawan ko ang camera na hawak ko at lumapit sa kanya.

I moved her arm to her chest and accidentally brushed a finger on her nipple. I heard her gasp a little. Fuck! The sexual tension between us was killing. I could feel my shaft getting really painfully hard inside my pants.

While I was fixing her position, she suddenly reached and cupped my crotch. I made a small growl when she slightly squeezed it. "What is this, Mr. Gonzales?" Tumingala siya sa akin. She was looking at me innocently. "Is this a boner? Are you getting hard for me? This is so unprofessional." 

"A-andi..." I said in a raspy voice. Her hands went to the button of my pants and she undid it. "Andi what are you doing? There are people outside."

"So? They're outside naman eh." She said as she pulled my pants down along with my underwear. She took my desperately hard length in her hand lightly stroking it. I couldn't help but moan.

"God, Andi!" I groaned as she stroke me. Pagkatapos ay hinatak niya ako sa kama dahilan para mapadagan ako sa kanya. She wrapped her arms around my neck and we started kissing passionately... hungrily. It felt like drinking water from an oasis in the middle of a burning desert. My hands started to wander around her body, feeling every part of her. One of my hand stopped on her bare breast and I kneaded it softly. She moaned against my mouth when I took her nipple between my fingers and started squeezing it.

Soon she was on top of me, lowering herself on my length. I watched as my shaft disappear in her. She was so small and tight like the last time I had her. How did she managed to be this fucking tight and wet at the same time? I pulled her upper body down to me and started sucking one of her breast. Andi let out a loud moan when I began thrusting myself, she started bouncing up and down meeting my thrust. Napakapit siya sa buhok ulo ko, her fingers digging into my hair. Her breath became deeper and more rapid, her pussy tightening around me and I knew she was going to come. I sucked her breast harder, my tongue flicking furiously over her nipple inside my mouth at binilisan ko ang paggalaw. I was getting close to coming too. 

"Tristaaan... Ohh f-faster, I'm almost there..." She said with a hoarse, out of breath voice. I thrusted in to her fast and hard, trying to give her as much pleasure as I could. My entire body suddenly tensed, I moaned against her breast as I felt my come spurt inside of her. She collapsed on top of me, my dick still inside, throbbing and I could feel her throbbing around me too. Napadapa siya sa dibdib ko, still trying to catch her breath.

Nang makabawi kami pareho ay pinagpatuloy namin ang photoshoot. Nang matapos namin iyon, we ended up going to my condo unit where we made love again and again. I've lost count of how many times. 

"Hindi ka ba hinahanap sa inyo, mahal ko?" Tanong ko sa kanya. We were lying on my bed, both tired and sated, her head resting on my arm while my fingers idly stroke her back. Hindi ko maiwasan maalala ang nakaraan, we used to be like this when we were together. I missed cuddling with her after a passionate love making. Ginagawa din ba nila ni Jason ito? Pumasok sa isip ko ang tanong na iyon ngunit agad ko iyon pinalis. Hindi ko dapat iniisip iyon. Ang importante nasa tabi ko siya ngayon, sa akin siya ngayon... hanggang ngayon lang. She isn't mine anymore. She's someone else's wife. Ako ang nakikihati at nakikisawsaw sa relasyon nila ni Jason. Wala akong karapatan kay Andi.

"Bakit? Gusto mo na ba akong umalis?" She said, burying her face in my side.

"Hindi naman sa ganun. I really wish you could here stay in my arms forever." Sabi ko sa kanya, I started playing with her hair. "Pero hindi ka ba hahanapin ng asawa mo?" 

"I'll tel l him I slept at a friend's house." She answered lazily.

"The night your husband caught us, what happened after that? May ginawa ba siya sa'yo?" Tanong ko sa kanya. Although I was drunk that night, I could still remember how angry Jason was when he saw us. I would be angry to if I were in his place. Inaamin ko na mali ang ginawa kong iyon. Bukod sa nandun ang asawa niya, nasa pamamahay pa kami ni Aiko. I was so jealous seeing them together. Nagseselos ako kapag nakikita ko sila ni Jason, nagseselos ako kapag hinahawakan at hinahalikan siya ng asawa niya. Alam kong girlfriend ko na si Aiko ngunit hindi ko pa rin maiwasan ang magselos dahil sa totoo lang hanggang ngayon higit na mas matimbang ang nararamdaman ko para kay Andi. 

"Wala." Sagot niya. "He was so drunk that night, nakalimutan niya na ang nangyari nung nagising siya."

"Bakit mo ginagawa ito, Andi?" Hindi ko napigilan ang itanong.

"Ang alin?" 

"May asawa ka na who can satisfy your needs. Why do you still sleep with me?"

"Because it's more exciting. Nakakasawa din ang iisang sex partner lang." She said.

Natigilan ako. She really did changed alot. It was almost like every bit of her was gone. That innocent, childish and naive girl that I love was gone. She came back a different person and it was all my fault. I could feel the corner of my eyes sting. 

"Mahal ko." I whispered before giving her a kiss on the forehead.

"Bakit mahal ko?" She asked. I thought she was already asleep.

"Huh?"

"Why do you call me mahal ko?" 

I remembered she doesn't like me calling her mahal ko. "Sorry, old habits die hard."

"I mean, bakit ba mahal ko ang naging tawagan natin." She looked up at me, her eyes half-open.

Bakit nga ba? Kasi mahal ko siya. Ganun kasimple. "Why? Is something wrong with it?"

She crinkled her nose and smiled. "It's so baduy."

"Baduy?" Natawa ako. "Tinatawag mo din akong mahal ko noon."

"Yeah, but I just realized it's baduy." She chuckled. 

"What do you mean baduy? It's sweet and unique." Depensa ko. "I didn't want to call you something generic like babe. That's too generic it could almost mean nothing at all."

"Yeah but mahal ko?" She started laughing. 

"It could be worse you know."

"It could?" Dumapa siya sa dibdib ko at tumingin sa akin.

"Mm-hm... I could've called you labidabs." I joked. 

She laughed. "Yun yung tawag ni mang Celso sa asawa niya." Si mang celso ay ang kapit bahay namin noon nung nakatira pa kami sa apartment. 

"You used to love it when I call you mahal ko. Don't you dare try to deny it."

"Sinasakyan ko lang ang kabaduyan mo, no!" She giggled.

"I don't believe you." I smiled, trying to surpress a laugh. 

"You don't?" Nilapit niya ang mukha niya sa akin. Our face were only centimeters away from each other.

"Nah." I said shaking my head. She cupped my face and gave me alot small kisses on the lips, then those little kisses became long and passionate. 

She got on top of me and we started kissing again. I guess we're up for another round. I shifted position so I was on top now and she was lying on the bed. My lips went down to her neck and to her breast, kissing it alternately... to her stomach, she automatically opened her legs for me when I licked the smooth skin below her stomach. I planted small kisses on her inner thigh, teasing her.

"Tristan, please..." She whispered. My lips moved to her slit, kissing her there. We were both startled when the phone rang. Inangat ko ang ulo ko at tumingin sa kanya. 

"Just answer it, it might be important." Sabi niya. Umupo ako at inabot ang telepono. Tinignan ko ang caller id, si Aiko.

"It's Aiko." Sabi ko kay Andi. Umiwas siya ng tingin sa akin. I cleared my throat before answering the call. "Aiko."

"Hi baby, I'm missing you so bad right now." Sabi niya sa kabilang linya. "Ano'ng oras na ba dyan sa Pilipinas?"

"It's three in the morning." Sabi ko.

"Oh I'm sorry, did I wake you up?"

"No, I was just getting ready for bed. May... may tinapos lang akong trabaho." Sagot ko. I felt so aweful for lying to her.

"Bigla lang kasi kitang naisip." She said. "Is Miranda doing a good job?"

Pakiramdam ko nanigas ang buong katawan ko. What the fuck? How did she know? Tumingin ako kay Andi at kumunot ang noo niya. She probably sensed that something was wrong.

"W-what do you mean?" I asked, trying to sound as innocent as I could. 

"I asked her to look after you while I'm gone para masiguradong hindi ka nangbabae." She laughed.

"Oh..." I breathed a quiet sigh of relief. But fuck, I feel so guilty right now. "Well, um, Andi and I saw each other today. Ako ang photographer sa photoshoot project niya." 

"Wow, that's so nice. I can't wait to see the photos." Excited na sabi niya. "I'm sure you and Miranda did a fantastic job. Well, I need to go na, baby. I'll call you later."

"Okay, goodnight. Mag-ingat ka d'yan." Sabi ko.

"You, too. I love you, baby. Bye." Sabi niya bago ibinaba ang phone.

Lumingon ako kay Andi. She was looking down, guilt evident in her eyes. Napasandal ako sa headboard. This is so fucking wrong. Kapag nalaman ni Aiko ang nangyayari sa amin dalawa ni Andi baka masira pa ang pagkakaibigan nila. I feel so goddamn awful.