There was a very long pause once I had done explaining my actions to the pair. Oskar smiled at me, sincerely. Eli on the other hand blinked very quickly and quite often, but stared at the floor silently.

It was hard not to keep glancing at her and how her eyes were transfixed on the tiles. It made my insides twist with a sickening knot. I would give anything to hold her in my arms and tell her how sorry I was. Tell her how I really felt about her.

"I think going home will be good for you," Oskar continued obliviously, smiling even wider, "Your Momma will be happy to see you again."

I shrugged, that wasn't necessarily true, my mother rarely remembered anything. But I saw no point in arguing with Oskar. I turned to Eli instead, only to catch her eye this time. She sat with her chin on her knees, pushed against her chest. The woman attempted a smile, but it reminded me of the ones I used to give Dr Verne. Her hands lay idly between us, hidden by the bag permanently slung around my person. Something inside me stirred at the sight of it. I could probably intertwine our fingers right now and no one would know.

Eli cleared her throat when no one said a word, "Did they take you anywhere else?" Her voice was small and hoarse, and I almost thought I caught a slight waver in it, but her face was impassive.

I tore away from her hand before I shook my head, "Just the maze-like hallway and then the farm." I scoffed at the reminder, I could still taste the rotten odour, "What the hell was the farm?"

I turned to each of the two around me, hoping for an explanation. Oskar gave a genuine shrug, his expression conveying disinterest. Eli on the other hand seemed to find my bag very fascinating all of a sudden. She traced the stitches with a finger, her head still squashed between her knees.

"I'm an outsider," Oskar said, maintaining his apathy, "I'm not allowed to step foot in the church unless I'm summoned."

I turned back to Eli, still tracing the stitches with one hand, "But you're not?" I assumed, "An Outsider—I mean?"

Eli looked back up at me. Her piercing gaze studying my face for a few moments before she sighed into her knees, "It's complicated," she said finally, her voice still muted as she turned her attention to my bag once more. I was certain I heard the waver this time.

I could hear my mother in my head now. I could hear Oskar too and Dea and everyone else telling me I was nothing more than an arrogant man. I reached for Eli's free hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, "I'm not judging." My tone was as soft as it could get but I wanted her to see it in my face too. I wasn't judging, I could never judge her. I would never hurt her, "I'm just ... curious."

Eli lifted her chin again, propping it on her knee as she looked at me. The way she looked at me, I would assume she was analysing me, but I didn't really care. My face had begun to grow very warm at the intensity of her stare.

I let go of her hand and wrapped it around my own knees, "It was a stupid question," I decided just as instantly, turning my head, looking anywhere but at Eli.

"Isn't there a rule against calling questions stupid?" I could hear the smile in her voice even if I couldn't see it, it made me grin too.

"Well," I said slowly, "if we're going to argue the technicality of it, a question is never really stupid. The person asking the question though? Usually." I traced my finger down the grout, "Especially when he has a doctorate in human behaviour but still doesn't know when to shut up." Or when to stop asking questions.

Oskar snorted a laugh, which I returned with a warm smile. I turned to find Eli grinning at her feet, and was strangely satisfied at it. The lurch in my chest calmed a little too. She would tell me if she was ready. And if she wasn't ... well I was leaving anyway.

"So, two days," Oskar said, interrupting my thoughts with a distracted nod as he turned to the ceiling, "gives you enough time to rest."

It was my turn to snort, but I was ignored,

"And who knows," Oskar continued with an even wider grin, facing me again, "maybe this thief will get caught sooner and you can leave today."

"Or maybe I'll find a cure for her today," I suggested. It was supposed to be an attempt at dry humour but my eyes trailed to the door across anyway. I needed to return to my lab. I'd wasted enough time in idle chitchat.

"Or you go to bed for a few hours," Oskar insisted again, more forcefully this time, "you haven't slept two nights in a row!"

I snapped my neck in his direction, remembering our conversation from last night, "No wait—when do you sleep?" I demanded, "How do you never look tired if you're always here?"

Oscar opened his mouth with a smirk, but Eli spoke first.

"Whatever he's been telling you is a lie," she said, still staring at her feet, "he sleeps while you work. The room next to your lab has a bed, his toothbrush and everything."

"Ah!" I chuckled, of course it did. I was a creature of habit, always had been. It wouldn't be that hard to estimate when I left the lab for food if I only did it once a day.

"It's not a bed," Oskar insisted reaching for his back, "my joints don't ache like I'm eighty when I sleep on a real bed."

I would call Oskar out and admit that I was always sore too, but my mouth felt dry all of a sudden. This stupid conversation had reminded me of a happier time. A time my Ma had been the parent. A time I had slept on beds comfortably all night.

I took a small breath, shaking away the nausea, the image from my head. My mother, face down, in a puddle of her own blood. I stood up, "I should go," I decided, waving the bottle of juice I'd forgotten I was still holding. Once I got back to my lab again, the nausea would wear off too. Once I found a cure, everything would be okay.

"Me too!" Eli stretched as she got back up to her feet, "My lunch break was over half an hour ago."

I tried to offer an uncertain smile, but was met with her intense, grey eyes again. It may have been a glance, but every time her eyes met mine she seemed to stare straight into my soul. My insides were gnawing at me again. I should have kissed her when I had the chance instead of ogling at her like a chump.

Eli turned to Oskar next with a half-hearted smile before walking away. She could pretend to be as apathetic as she wanted, her hunched shoulders and pocketed hands said more than her face did. I watched her leave before returning to the bag strapped across my chest.

Time to make the most important call of the day.

I made my way to the lab for a little privacy first. As unlikely as that was. I could see at least three cameras as soon as I entered my enormous laboratory. It reminded me of a lot of conversations I'd had with Riquebourc, his false assurances among other things. I took a deep breath to calm the wrenching agitation in my gut. Haven for scientists my skinny butt!

Two more days. And then I was out.

I waited as the dial tone rang, feeling sicker with every unanswered bell. She was alive, of that I was certain. Hospice policy involved phoning me the moment it was time, and there were no missed calls. But the waiting killed me.

"Finally!" I snapped when the ever-familiar stern face of Dr Irma appeared, "Is she alright? Why did you take so long to answer?"

I caught the woman's jaw clench, "I have other patients, Dr Gilbert."

I saw red, "Excuse me?" I whispered, cold fury seeping out of every word I uttered, "Remind me again what my only requirement from your sorry excuse of a hospice was?" I had paused between each word, enough to fill a sentence or two, but Dr Irma said nothing.

"Your mother was not to be left unattended." Dr Irma's face wasa about as red as mine, her head tilted arrogantly.

"And who was with my mother right now?" I then demanded, I could feel the vein throbbing in my neck.

Silence.

"Dr Irma," I drawled, my voice dripping with venom, "if anything happens to my mother, you can rest assured there will be an investigation. Very thorough," I added, despite how tight my jaw felt, "and I promise that if you're found guilty, I will end you." My voice was still soft, every word deliberate. No volume was needed to convey the extent of my anger, "If your actions—or rather lack of actions hurt my mother, I promise I will personally find you a permanent bed in prison."

Silence again while the arrogant woman watched me with her head cocked, as if she were the Mater Procellas herself.

"I'd like to talk to my mother now, please."

No more words were said as the tablet was set on the table silently. Ma craned her neck to get a better look, "T-Th-Teo?"

I lost my voice for a moment, she was lucid. This was bad. I was supposed to be holding her hand when she was lucid. I was supposed to be there for her, not trapped on a cult island thousands of miles away.

"Help her up, please." I didn't bark, much as I wanted to. Not in front of Ma.

She worried far too much.

I watched the bed fold until she was nearly sitting up, and I felt a little more satisfied. I smiled fondly at the frail woman with wispy, greying hair, "You're looking particularly radiant today." I narrowed my eyes, pretending to deduce the reason, "What did you do?"

Ma's sunken cheeks flushed a little, but she gave me a wide smile, showcasing all her crooked teeth. "C-c-come ho-o-ome." Ma placed a trembling hand on her chest, I could hear her breathing in wheezes.

My heart sank, "I'm coming Ma," I promised. I was tempted to rush to Riquebourc again and demand to leave this stupid island.

"T-t-time's ... ne-neeer—" she paused again, clutching her chest, "up," she concluded with a pant.

"No," I breathed, my own hands beginning to tremble, "you don't get to leave like this! You don't get to give up!"

A shadow of something passed over my mother for a minute before she turned to the ceiling, completely silent.

I imagined the worst for a moment and I froze. I couldn't breathe. I opened my mouth but no sound emerged. No air either, just a strangled hiss that made my insides turn. Of all the times for my body to fail me, this was not it. "Mama?!" I finally choked.

Ma shut her eyes, "T-t-ired ... t-t-talk la-a—ter." A crease formed on her forehead, an unmistakable frown.

My breath caught in my throat for an entirely different reason. She wasn't dying, my sweet mother was mad at me! I swallowed back the gush of bile, "Ma?" I whispered again, straining to keep my voice from breaking.

She didn't answer, but the creases deepened.

"You rest Mama. I'll call you later." I moved a jittering finger to the red button but couldn't bring myself to press it. My finger hovered uselessly for a second, "I love you," I eventually whispered, just in case I'd never get to tell her again. Even if she never spoke to me again, everything I would ever do would be for her. Everything. And that was never going to change.

I heard a click as the screen flickered to black, leaving me staring at my pathetic reflection, finger still hovering above the button. I dropped the tablet, instead opting to push my hair back with both hands. Gasping. Wheezing. Gagging.

I grabbed the first object within my reach, a beaker, and smashed it hard against the wall. I watched the glass crumble to glittering dust, feeling the load lift off my chest a little. But it still wasn't enough. A second beaker was hurled across the room, and a third after it and then another until I was out of beakers. It didn't seem to dissipate my anger. So I screamed.

I screamed until my chest hurt. Until the physical pain was enough to tear my throat out. Until I was crying. Curled up in a pathetic ball.

And a lot of things happened at once.

A high-pitched chitter reminded me that I'd taken Mouse 110 out of its cage last night. I had barely gotten up to comfort the poor rodent when I heard my name screamed from the hall, and the door slid open with a hiss of air. Oskar stood on the other side, a gun poised at me.

It must have been a confusing sight. My hair was dishevelled, my face wrought with tears and I was stroking a terrified mouse.

Oskar's lowered his weapon, his face red, "Theo you idiot!" he snarled, "I thought you were attacked!"

I glanced at the broken glass around me, "Ah! I erm—lost my temper a little." I scratched the mouse behind the ears some more. I felt calmer after having yelled the rage out. And a tiny, shivering mouse in my hand had gotten rid of any left over anger.

Oskar stormed over towards me and I was almost afraid he was going to hit me. But he pulled out a black, metallic pen from his camouflage uniform and shoved it in my breast pocket, "That stays with you forever now!" He patted the pocket a few times, and the pen pricked at my chest painfully with each pat.

I frowned but said nothing. His anger, while understandable didn't exactly explain his actions.

"It's a tactical pen," Oskar continued giving my pocket another tap, "won't break if you need to stab someone, it's made of titanium." The creases between the eyebrows made his worry very evident.

I smiled fondly, touched by his concern. I had barely opened my mouth to thank him when a high pitched beep rang from the corner of the lab. I winced at the sharpness of the sound but didn't react otherwise. Unlike Oskar and Mouse 110, loud noises in laboratories weren't the end of the world to me. And surely enough, the small, white mouse shrieked again as it twitched in my hand. It couldn't really move much more when it carried the same disease my mother did. All the mice in my labs did.

Oskar on the other hand drew his gun again, eyes wide, "For the love of—" He turned his head, tracing a path from my lack of reaction to the machine before lowering his weapon, clutching his heart as he did, "What the fuck, Theo?"

I stroked the mouse some more, still frowning but ignoring Oskar as I made my way to the machine. I let out a small "Hmm," as I stared at the message displayed on the technological marvel in the corner of the lab.

"What now?"

I shook my head, still frowning, "Why is a machine that I've never used before letting me know it's safe to use again?" I turned back to Oskar, "Again?" I repeated slowly, "I've never used this machine in my life."

Oskar shut his eyes, "Get out." He sighed, "Someone's been in this lab."