"You went to sleep early last night," Esther said as we prepared for the workday ahead of us. "You were dead to the world when I came up."

"Must've been tired," I mumbled.

"Can't imagine why. I don't suppose washing dishes is all that tiring." Esther shrugged her shoulders at me, jammed her bonnet on her head and left the room.

I finished twisting the end of my hair up and pinning them in place as her footsteps retreated down the stairs and to the kitchen. I dropped my hands to my sides and sighed loudly, glancing back at the cane that I had left against the bed the night before. Without that cane, my life would have been so much easier, and I certainly wouldn't on the receiving end of backhanded comments from Esther. I always thought she was far too sweet to do such a thing, but it looked as though even the nicest people had their limits and Esther's had been pushed far too many times. More often than not by me.

When she had come up to bed that night, I had pretended to be asleep, but I was far from it. I held Robert's letter tightly in my hand and replayed what it said over and over again in my mind to try and make sense of it all. None of it made any sense to me and I doubt it would no matter how many times I read over the letter. Even if I committed the entire thing to memory, I doubt I would have been able to understand any of it. I spent most of the night just laying on the bed staring at the wall, but it did nothing. I only ended up exhausted when Miss Jenkins woke us up.

Before I had been on the fence about leaving, toying between the idea of staying and enduring whatever else Mrs Ealing had to offer but the letter changed everything. If anyone else were to find it, if Mrs Ealing were to find it, I didn't know what she would do. There was little doubt in my mind that she would have somehow managed to twist the letter and put the blame on me, as though I had somehow coerced him into writing it. I knew that wasn't true, it had never been true, nor will it be and yet part of me felt it may have been. Robert had said that his feelings developed because I treated him as a person and not a boss.

If I had just treated him like I did Doctor Ealing, then none of this would have happened. For once, this was a hole I had dug myself into and the only way to get myself out would be to leave. Before, I had wanted to stay because of Robert, now I was leaving because of him. It was the opposite of what I wanted to do.

"Rosie, hurry up!" Miss Jenkins called up the stairs as I put my bonnet on and limped across the room to the cane. Personally, I didn't think I needed it but I needed Doctor Ealing's clearance before I could stop using it.

"I'm coming!"

I tucked the letter into my dress pocket and left the room, abandoning the cane and opting to use the bannister instead as I made my way down the stairs and to the kitchen. When I entered the kitchen, Esther was finishing up her breakfast and Miss Jenkins was beginning to prepare the breakfast trays for the family. I was late.

"There you are! I thought you might have slipped and knocked yourself unconscious or something," Miss Jenkins said. She pushed a plate of scrambled eggs and toast towards me as I approached the table.

"Sorry, I got distracted," I said.

"By what?"

"I'm not entirely sure."

Miss Jenkins regarded me with a small tilt of her head and furrowed eyebrows, not entirely sure of what I meant. I didn't know what I meant by it, but it was the only thing I could come up with seeing as I couldn't tell her what really distracted me. Although I had completely made up my mind as to what I planned to do in the future, telling them was something I still had to deal with, and I wasn't ready to cross that bridge just yet. Despite all the places I had left in the past, I had never had the opportunity to say goodbye to anyone. Not my brothers, not Isabel, not even my own mother. How does someone say goodbye if they had no practise?

"Hurry up and eat that, I've got a couple of chores for you to do upstairs. Doctor Ealing said you can't hide down here when there are chores to be done elsewhere."

"Yes, Miss Jenkins," I said.

I slid into one of the spare seats at the table and tucked into the breakfast. It was slightly cold since I had taken my time to get ready, but I wolfed it down and waited for the chores Miss Jenkins had planned for me. After spending two days working in the kitchen, I hadn't expected to be needed in the main house until my knee cleared up. There were very few chores I could do whilst having to walk around with the cane and that number was considerably smaller outside of the kitchen since it all required being on my feet. Still, it would give me time to think about what I was going to say to everyone. Perhaps a bit of space was all I needed to figure out what to say.

"Right, you can go around and collect any laundry from the bedrooms upstairs and bring them down. Since your shoulder's recovered you can sit on the stool and wash some of it. I can't have you peeling carrots all day, we'll run out."

"From all of the rooms?"

"Yes, all of them. Mrs Ealing is giving etiquette lessons to Charlotte in the drawing-room this morning, so you won't run into her as long as you stay upstairs until everything has been collected."

"What about the laundry basket?"

"You'll manage. Go on, go." Miss Jenkins waved at the door with a cloth and turned her attention back to the stove that was bubbling away. Esther had long since abandoned her breakfast in favour of her chores and Miss Jenkins clearly wanted me to follow her.

I left Miss Jenkins in the kitchen to potter about with lunch whilst I limped into the other room and snatched up the laundry basket. Whilst it was empty, I could carry it by the handle or rest it on my hip without any trouble but putting things in it would make it harder to carry. With the basket it hand, I slinked past the kitchen and up the stairs to the main house. I couldn't help but wonder whether Doctor Ealing had suggested a carry out chores away from the kitchen or if Miss Jenkins simply wanted me out of the way and I didn't blame.

Through the past two weeks or so, I had probably spent more time in the kitchen then I had anywhere else in the house and that was enough to drive someone mad. That madness most likely increased by the fact that my work involved sitting at the table and just getting underfoot when Miss Jenkins was trying to work. If it were me, I would be finding myself annoying for constantly being in the way and having nothing better to do then peel vegetables and wash dishes. Although the tasks may have helped the efficiency of the kitchen, there were only so many vegetables to peel and dishes to wash. Most of the time I just sat there.

With the basket swinging my left hand, I manoeuvred my way up the stairs and to the hallway where I could hear the distant sounds of Mrs Ealing trying to teach Charlotte her etiquette lessons. Growing up I never saw the point of etiquette lessons and no amount of lessons could help me become the lady I was supposed to be. Mother said I had far too much restless energy to leave the proper way to stand or walk, I always thought the same of Charlotte.

I left them to it and climbed the other set of stairs to the rooms. The floorboards creaked and groaned as I crossed the hallway and knocked on Matilda's door. When no reply came, I pushed it open and gathered the dresses she had left on the floor alongside a blanket she had kicked off in the middle of the night. The basket felt considerably heavier even with a few items in it and I had to resort to carrying it on my hip since I could no longer leave it hanging from my hand. I left Matilda's room and walked back down the hall to Robert's, repeating the action and knocking lightly. I hoped he wouldn't be inside.

"Come," he said from within. I pushed the door open with the cane and lingered in the doorway as he turned from his desk to face me.

"Do you have anything for the laundry?" I paused. "Master Robert?"

"There are a couple of shirts in the corner, but that's it," he said.

He turned back to the desk and paid me no attention as I limped over to the far corner of the room and collected the shirts that had been stacked up in the corner. I dropped them into the basket and readjusted my grip on the handle to try and hold it better, but that was difficult. There was hardly anything in it and yet it was still remarkably heavy, how I was going to carry it when it was full would present a whole other challenge. That was a bridge I would need to cross, but for now, I needed to make things up with Robert. Or try to.

"Can we talk? About the other day?" I asked, tucking the basket under my arm.

"What is there to talk about? You made your feelings abundantly clear," he said.

"I didn't mean it, I was upset about what your mother had said and scared that I was going to lose my job. It was all said in the heat of the moment, I promise."

"Someone who didn't know any better just might have believed you." He turned to face me. "You may not think you meant it, but the fact that those thoughts and your agreement with Mother even crossed your mind says otherwise. What a person says in the spur of the moment is what they wish they could have said but never did. It may have been said in a rather rash and abrupt way, but it was clearly something you had been thinking and just didn't want to say. Despite what you may think, you meant those words and who am I to deny you?"

"Robert, please."

"This conversation is over. Don't you have work to be getting on with?" He raised an eyebrow as his eyes darted down to my right hand that gripped the cane. "Your hand is bleeding."

I glanced down to my hand and watched a small trickle of blood run down the side of my hand and onto the cane. I had been so caught up in what had happened between Robert and me that I didn't even notice the pain or feel the blood. The cut on my hand had hardly bothered me since it had happened, not even when I was washing the dishes the previous day. Yet I had been gripping the cane that hard that I had somehow managed to aggravate the cut that much that it had started bleeding.

"Ah, give me a second to sort this out and then I shall be out of your hair, Sir," I said.

"Do you need any help?" Despite our argument, Robert was still willing to help, though I suppose that came with his Doctor training then actually wanting to help.

"I can manage."

Robert watched as I placed the washing basket on the floor and leant the cane against the wall. From my pocket, I pulled out the bandage I had stuffed in there the evening before and quickly wrapped it around the cut to stop the blood from dripping onto the floor. I wrapped it tighter then James had when he first put it on. Then, I used a spare piece of cloth I kept in my pocket to wipe the remainder of the blood from the cane. Robert had watched me the whole time without saying a word, but the moment I looked up from the cane and stuffed the cloth back into my pocket he turned away and faced his desk. Despite not facing me, I could see him looking at me through the mirror on the wall.

I grabbed the basket off the floor and rested it on my hip as I took hold of the cane once more and left Robert to whatever he had been doing before I interrupted. He didn't say anything as I went, but I could see him watching me leave through the glass of the mirror. It almost looked as though he were about to speak, but after what he had said before, I wasn't sure I wanted to hear it.

He had never been the type to get worked up over something so trivial and was usually the voice of reason yet this time he wasn't. The only time I had ever seen him angry about anything had been when Mr Warrington and Alexander had shown up just minutes after we found out who they were. That had ended in a fistfight and I suppose I should have been lucky that it didn't get that far, but part of me hoped he would have been fine with just talking it out. I was wrong.

With the basket resting on my hip, I searched the rest of the bedrooms for clothes or blankets without coming into contact with anyone from the house. I was glad of that, I knew the questions that would be asked if they saw the bandage around my hand and I didn't want to face that discussion with anyone. Still, I wished I had someone to help me with the basket because by the time it was full, I could hardly carry it. Even resting it on my hip did nothing to help, I needed both of my hands and getting it down the stairs to the kitchen took longer than it should have.

When I reached the bottom of the stairs, I couldn't wait to drop the basket and not have to carry it around any longer. Miss Jenkins and Esther appeared to be in deep conversation as I climbed the last few steps and almost fell face-first onto the floor. I readjusted my grip on the basket and picked up the tale-end of the conversation happening in the kitchen.

"How much longer is this going to go on for? I feel as though I've done more work in the past few weeks on my own then I have in the entire time I've been here. I'm exhausted and I doubt I'm going to get my afternoon off, either," Esther said.

"We're just going to have to wait it out and see what happens," Miss Jenkins said.

"You don't actually believe that, do you? Don't get me wrong, Rosie has been great since she started working here, especially with the twins, but this is getting ridiculous."

"I know. Don't worry, it'll all sort itself out in the end. With her brother's back in the picture, I wouldn't be surprised if she leaves service to be with them."

"The sooner the better," Esther murmured.

"Go one, you've got work to do."

I heard Esther sigh and quickly shuffled along the hallway and into the side room just as she came out of the kitchen and headed up the stairs to the main house. The laundry basket slipped from my grasp and hit the ground with a thump just as Esther's footsteps disappeared. I sighed and leant back against the wall, digging my hand into the grip of the cane to try and decide whether or not the conversation I had overheard had been real. Although I knew Esther was mad at me for getting out of work, not that it had ever been intentional, but I never thought she would want me to leave. Even Miss Jenkins wanted me gone.

Perhaps telling them I was leaving wouldn't be as hard now that I knew neither of them wanted me around. It felt as though everyone I knew in the house wanted me gone and nothing I could do would change their minds. I could have been back at the factory with the foreman and Mr Thompson doing whatever it took to get rid of me, it all felt too similar. James had been right; remaining the house was bad for me and I had to leave as soon as possible.

Still, I had to finish the workday before I even considered breaking the news to Doctor Ealing and Miss Jenkins. I flexed my fingers on the grip of the cane and left the side room and headed towards the kitchen. Miss Jenkins had told me to wash the clothes in the other room, but the washboard wasn't in there. Despite what I may have overheard and my desire to keep out of Miss Jenkins and Esther's way, I needed to find out where the washboard was, or I'd end up with an added problem.

"Did you manage to check all the rooms?" Miss Jenkins asked as I hobbled into the room. She smiled slightly, acting as though the conversation she had just had with Esther hadn't taken place.

"Yes, the laundry basket is in the other room. You don't happen to know where the washboard is, do you?" I asked.

"I think it's outside. It should be leaning against the house but I'm not certain."

"Alright, thank you."

"I need to have a word with Mrs Ealing, so I won't be here when you come back with it. If you need help filling up the bucket, ask Esther as she's around."

I nodded towards Miss Jenkins and made my way around the table towards the backdoor just as she left the kitchen to have her talk with Mrs Ealing. The door was propped open with a rock and I used the cane to nudge it open before stepping through the gap and into the cold wind that stirred up outside. Miss Jenkins had left the washboard propped up against the wall beside the door and within easy reach of the back door, but the washboard hadn't been the only reason I had stepped outside that afternoon. I needed somewhere to scream.

The wind appeared to pick up as I checked to make sure there was no one around before I let out a loud, guttural scream and threw the cane across the lawn. Doctor Ealing may have thought I needed the cane, but it had been more of a hindrance than a help. It had been the reason I was in the predicament I was in, the reason Miss Jenkins and Esther no longer wanted me around. If Mrs Ealing hadn't have had it that afternoon, I wouldn't need it to walk and I certainly wouldn't be wishing the ground would open up and swallow me whole. Such a simple object had been the cause of so much of my recent torment, and I hated it.

Once I had thrown the cane across the grass and finally been able to release a lot of the pent-up anger and frustration that had been bubbling away inside of me for the past few days, I felt better. I still didn't want to go back into the house and have to face Miss Jenkins and Esther after the conversation I had overheard, but I certainly didn't feel as frustrated as I had beforehand. Sometimes it takes screaming and throwing something to really get out any emotions, we had learnt that at the factory when we used to collectively scream in the hopes someone would hear us and get us out. We may not have been rescued, but the screaming certainly helped.

Even though I had chores to do, I didn't return to the house that afternoon, I headed down the gravel path and away from the chores I was supposed to be doing. I needed a place to think and the house wouldn't let me do that.

~~~

A/N - We are back to our usual scheduled posting of Tuesdays! Also, ONE CHAPTER LEFT!!! That's it, just one chapter of TSG left before TAG goes up! I hope you're ready, I'm five chapters deep in TAG at the moment xD

Also, I'm working on an offline project at the moment as well which I cannot wait to share with you all in the future!

Anyway, thoughts on the chapter? Do you think Robert and Rosie will be able to fix things? What about Esther and Miss Jenkins? Did you expect their negativity? Comment below!

Dedication - This chapter is dedicated to skype64 who mass-voted on TFG and TSG! It means a lot :)

First Published - 7th January 2020