chapter thirty-one: shadows of regret

the sound of laughter bounced off the walls of the den, Jett and Cedar entered the health with red faces. they just got back from their first hunting trip in weeks, with Talvi and Phoenix behind them. Phoenix was drenched in water, his shirt sticking to his body, while Talvi was laughing uncontrollably. Jett and Cedar exchanged a grin before they collapsed on the furs, still out of breath from running.

"man! that was intense!" Cedar breathed jokily, his hair stick to his forehead from sweat. "I didn't know Phoenix could run that fast!" He glanced over at him, still dripping wet from the lake, and grinned. "You should've seen your face when you dove in, dude!"

"that was no fair! you cheated!" Phoenix protested, trying to wipe the water from his eyes. "I swear, next time we hunt, I'm going to kick both your asses!" Jett laughed, shaking his head. "Oh, come on, Phoenix. You know you loved it just as much as we did. Besides, it's not like we could've caught you if we tried." He glanced over at Talvi, who was still laughing hysterically. "Right, Talvi?"

she grinned, her skin is glossy with sweat and a healthy glow from the exertion. "You're right, Jett. I did love it. But next time, I'm going to be more careful with my clothes!" She frowned, looking down at her soaking wet shirt. "Why did I even wear this in the first place?" Talvi wiped a tear from her eye as she tried to catch her breath. "Because it's hilarious," she chuckled.

"you know how much I love it when you wear clothing that's casual!" Cedar flirted, sitting up and running a hand through his messy hair. He grinned at Phoenix, who was still glaring at them. "Maybe next time you should just stay out of the water, huh?" Phoenix snorted but didn't reply, instead choosing to roll his eyes.

"whatever," Phoenix grumbled, finally giving up on trying to dry himself off. "I still say it wasn't fair." He paused, looking between Jett and Cedar, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. "But maybe next time, we can make a bet. Losers have to wear each other's clothes for a week." The two brothers exchanged a look, eyes wide in horror at the thought.

"oh! you're on!" Phoenix exclaimed, grinning widely. "And the losers have to wear a silly hat and dance in the middle of the village every day for an hour!" Jett and Cedar groaned, but they couldn't hide the glint of amusement in their eyes. The thought of each other wearing anything other than their usual attire was already making them laugh on the inside.

"we don't even know what a hat is though." Jett chimed in, trying not to laugh too hard. "but I guess if we lose, we lose." Talvi snorted, shaking her head. "you two deserve each other." She wiped another tear from her eye. "I can't wait to see the looks on everyone's faces when they see you dancing around in each other's clothes."

They all sat in silence for a moment, just enjoying the warmth of the fire and the closeness of their friends. The laughter from their previous escapades echoed in their ears, making them feel more alive than ever before. As they soaked in the comfortable silence, Jett couldn't help but glance over at Cedar, who was now idly picking at a loose thread on his pants. There was something about the way he moved, the way he held himself, that made Jett's heart ache with missing him.

Jett had never seen Cedar so pure, so innocent despite the cruelty of this world. with his bright hazel eyes, a mix of green and brown, that held stories of their past, of their childhood, of their adventures together. He wondered if Cedar felt the same way, if he missed Jett as much as Jett missed him. They had grown up together, shared everything, from laughter to tears, from joy to pain. But then, life had taken them on separate paths, and despite their closeness, they couldn't help but drift apart.

they fight for their father's attention, for his approval. they tried to prove themselves, to show him that they were more than just his sons, but also individuals with dreams and ambitions. But despite their efforts, he always seemed to favor one over the other. And as they grew older, the resentment built up inside them both, like a pressure cooker about to explode. till that night where it lead everything to here, to this moment where they can finally be free of all the expectations and the burdens they had been carrying on their shoulders for far too long.

in a sick way, when Jett had that blackout which killed Lily, Cedar's mother. it changed them both, but in different ways. Jett retreated into himself, became cold and distant, he grieved over what he has done. strangely enough, Solar had also send Cedar into exile, he haven't done anything wrong to deserve this punishment. he was just at the wrong place at the wrong time. Jett and Cedar were both angry at Solar for what he had done, but they also knew that deep down, Solar was just trying to protect them. He was trying to make them stronger, more resilient. And so, they both endured their punishments, their exiles, hoping that one day they would be reunited, not as brothers, but as friends.

Lily's last words haunt his nightmare each night, the same as they do every time he closes his eyes. Jett tries to tell himself that it wasn't his fault, that he was just a pawn in someone else's game, but the guilt remains. He wonders if Cedar feels the same weight bearing down on him, or if he has somehow managed to find peace.The thought of seeing Cedar again fills Jett with a mix of anticipation and dread. They haven't seen each other since that fateful night, until now that is.

the resentment and coldness Jett has for himself is so unreal, it almost feels like it doesn't belong to him. it's as if he's watching someone else's life unfold, someone who has made such terrible mistakes that they can never be forgiven. he knows that Cedar, despite everything, still holds some measure of love and compassion for him, and it's that thought that keeps him going. he wonders what Cedar's reaction will be when he sees him again, if he'll be able to forgive Jett for what he's done.

Cedar maybe with him right now in this very den, he can't help but feel guilt every time he sees the young pup who is supposed to be his little brother. Jett was always the one who had been there for him, the one who had understood him, the one who had made him feel like he wasn't alone in this world. But now, things were different. Now, he was the one who had taken everything away from him.

"what are you thinking about? you look stress." Cedar asks compassionately. Jett looks up at his younger half-brother, the one person in the world who still seems to care about him. He swallows hard, feeling a lump form in his throat. "I was just...thinking about the past. About everything we've been through together."

'you're thinking about that night, are you?" Cedar asks, his voice barely above a whisper. Jett nods, feeling the weight of guilt settle even heavier on his shoulders. "I wish I could take it back, Cedar. I wish I could undo what I've done. But I can't.

Cedar shakes his head, his eyes filling with tears. "I know you think it's all your fault, but it's not. It wasn't your fault, Jett. You didn't mean for any of it to happen. And...and even if you did, even if you had meant to hurt me, I would still love you. I would still want to be your brother." He reaches out, tentatively, and touches Jett's arm. "We've been through so much together. We've hurt each other, and we've made up. We've fought, and we've cried. But in the end, we're still here. We're still family." Cedar's voice cracks, and he has to pause to swallow back the tears. "And no matter what happens, I'll always be here for you."

Jett looks up at Cedar, his expression softening. "I know you're right, Ced. I just...I just can't help but feel like I let you down. Like I failed you in the worst way possible." He pauses, swallowing hard, and then continues, "I just want to make things right between us again. I want us to be the brothers we used to."

Cedar moved closer to Jett's warm body, resting his head on his shoulder. "I know it's hard, Jetty. But I'm here for you. We'll get through this together. Just like we've always done." He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to steady his racing heart. "And in the meantime, I'm going to keep loving you, no matter what. Because you're my brother, and that's what brothers do."

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