Do Me (1)

'Jay'

This was one of the days where I got home early from attending college classes from about 7 AM to 3PM in the afternoon. I've called my significant other throughout the day, calling and texting me non-stop, asking if no one's following me around or one of my friends had voluntarily decided to come and drop me off at the dormitory I'd been renting for that particular semester.

But then something happened. You see, my significant other doesn't get home early from working late hours at some law firm and attending graduate school in the daytime. It was rather unusual for him to be texting me and asking if I could meet him at the hotel he's been wanting to visit since it first officially opened about a year ago. It had been a while since we both hung out together like any other couple would. Our busy schedules took a toll on our overall relationship and we have been trying our hardest to make it work at all costs.

We didn't come from wealthy backgrounds. My family had been struggling financially since I first came into the world. My significant other had to deal with the fact that being the sole breadwinner in the family was anything but enjoyable to come to terms with. Despite this, we still managed to get a decent education.

Once I arrived at the hotel, I went straight to the lobby. Everything was arranged meticulously. It almost felt like I couldn't bring myself to sit on one of the chairs. The pristine quality of the fabric covering one of those chairs was immediately throwing me off ever since I got there.

My significant other started waving at me, calling me over to the concierge. He had given me one of the key cards that we could use separately. Usually my significant other wouldn't choose a hotel for us to spend quality time together. It was typically at his place. I remember the times I would sit on his bed and there would be pieces of paper and uncapped highlighters and pieces of crackers and candy wrappers scattered all over it.

We decided to take the elevator together. It didn't take long for us to get to our floor. He had been excited over this whole thing. One big room with an overlooking window. He had been carefully considering and analyzing the rates per room. Sometimes he could go overboard and pay more since he was always the kind of person who never allows himself to underpay services. He had already told me beforehand that I don't have to pay him back. He had been saving up for this moment and is making sure of the fact that we savor all of it.

We finally got to our room. Everything smelled nice right away. The curtains were pulled over to the side so we can have a view of those buildings and the sky that had been boasting nothing but absolute rainfall.
We made our way to the bed. Judging by the look of this place, it must have taken room attendants over an hour to clean this whole place up.

"Do you like the view?" He asked. I turned around to see him smiling. "I mean, we could switch rooms if you don't vibe well with this room."

"No, it's fine. I...actually do like it," I said in reponse.

"So, um," his eyes began to wander around the place. "Should we shower together?"

I couldn't help but feel my cheeks warm up in embarrassment. I shifted my focus towards the window. "Um, I don't know...I..."

"You don't have to feel nervous. It's just you and me," he reassured. "If you don't like the idea of being naked together..."

"Oh no, it's fine," I said. "It's just that..." I paused to recollect myself. "I can't believe this is really happening."

My significant other and I have yet to experience the act of intimacy that we all have become familiar with. It's not that we're opposed to sleeping together. I would like to imagine what kind of sensation I would feel if he has his hands all over me—touching every single body part that I felt insecure and uncomfortable of anyone else looking at or even touching it.

We ended up taking our clothes one by one in the shower. It appeared to me that he was used to have his whole body exposed. When my significant other and I first began dating, he mentioned that he's already slept with other people and has his own share of embarrassing and awkward experiences with them. That made me feel as if I was the only person in the room who has yet to experience losing their virginity to someone.

We got into the shower together. I nearly felt his torso pressing against my back. It took me a while to process what was happening.

"Are you gonna turn the shower on or not?" He started laughing at me. As it turned out, I've been standing there, hunched over, with the shower head still not turned on. "Jay, relax. I'm not gonna do anything to you just yet."

My cheeks flushed. "Sorry, it's...this is..."

He then took the shower head from me. "Let me do it."

I could feel the warm water drizzling on my face as soon as he turned it on. All the embarassment I felt had been washed away in the process. Despite being in the same shower, we began washing ourselves. Maybe we just weren't comfortable with the idea of touching each others' body parts just yet.

After we finished showering, we made our way over to the bed. I could sense the tension in the air in that moment.

"Jay?"

I turned around to see him grabbing a long rope and holding it out in front of him. "Would you like to tie me up?"

Excuse me?

"Tie you up?" I asked for clarification.

He just nodded. "You can do me."

I had to hold back my nervousness as I went over to him and grabbed the rope. I first began wrapping the whole rope around him and fixated my attention on his arms, down to his legs, and finally down to his feet. I've been a Girl Scout before. We had to familiarize ourselves with these basic knots. Tying something or someone with a rope would take up a long time to master.

"How come you're good at this?" He asked. It didn't take me long to say, "I guess tying is my expertise."

"You know you can always push me down on the bed."

It took a lot of courage in me not to hesitate any further and push him down on the bed. Things took a lot longer for me to process what was happening. The feeling of being on top of someone was something that I've only grown used to as of recent.

He had to lean forward and find my face. I could feel his warm breath as he pressed his lips on mine. I had to find the momentum somehow. I began kissing him back, not knowing exactly when to hold myself. I began shoving my tongue inside his mouth. He reciprocated and we began kissing as if this was our only time to have slow and passionate moments like this together.

Then the kissing stopped for a brief moment. We just stared at each others' eyes. It was as if we were sending telepathic messages through invisible wavelengths. They always say that partners can communicate effectively without speaking directly. Their eyes tell them secrets that they know nobody else would know the meaning of.

"We could stop here if you want," he suggested. "If you want to continue, then just let me know."

I started kissing him again. This time it was slow and it was following a certain rhythm that both of us know the meaning of. Some people would know when to stop, but we couldn't help it. The kissing just became more intense as I ditched the bathrobe I had around me.

It didn't take long before the insertion of the thing that's attached to a body happened. It was painful in the  beginning, but once I've slowly eased myself into it, and once I got ahold of the thing being inserted inside me, it became less painful and all these weird sensations began taking over every fiber of my body. It was scary and electrifying, and for the most part the discomfort was there to stay. We haven't really gotten to giving each other pleasure, so we had to heavily rely on lubricant.

The thrusts were something to get used to. Whenever we see scenes like this being enacted in movies and in porn, they seem natural, effortless, and smooth. So when it happened to us, it felt clumsy, weird, and our more vulnerable sides were exposed as if we've been hung out to dry in broad daylight. It was as if I had been skewered alive by a long stick with a pointed end. Who knew intercourse could be this goddamn exasperatingly difficult yet so emotionally fulfilling on both sides of the equation? The greatest of all scientists have explored intimacy in its best form, however they have to discuss the more gruesome and grotesque parts of it.

When the thrusting stopped, I dropped my nearly lifeless body on the bed, desperate for air and water to enter my lungs. Judging by the look on my face, he had the right to ask, "Are you okay? Was I being too rough with you?"

I pulled his face close and kissed him again. "It was the best experience I could ask for. Possibly another round after this wouldn't hurt as much."

We spent the whole day just doing the exact same thing, yet he found the perfect timing to be in some places where I felt I needed more reassurance than direct intimidation.

If there's a chance we might do this at some point in the future, I might start writing about it. It was a worthwhile experience to go through. Not everyone is comfortable with intimate and sensual acts, and that's something worthy of taking into reconsideration.