The journey back to camp was as silent as the one to the Moonpool.

Pebblefall could see the sun nearing the bottom of the horizon as he hurried to keep up with Poolripple. A small part of him wanted to make conversation - about the goldenrod situation, even ask about Poolripple's mother - but he knew that in the she-cat's current state, that was probably a bad idea. His mentor had a pinched look about her, and though her pawsteps were brisk, they carried less energy than usual.

She was tired, and he was too.

He let himself retreat into his thoughts as he trekked alongside the medicine cat. He couldn't help thinking about Ravenpaw - now that he had met Poolripple's mentor, he thought that for all the annoyance he had previously harbored for the tom, he much preferred Ravenpaw to Featherdawn.

He still could not really place his paw on what felt off about Featherdawn. The she-cat hadn't behaved erratically, and Poolripple - well, Poolripple would probably trust her own mother, but he knew that he'd much rather rely on the more experienced medicine cat's judgment. Pebblefall pushed the StarClan cat out of his mind. He'd ponder over something else.

He let his thoughts drift and found them wandering back to the situation at camp. What would the Clan say when they found out that they had found nothing? He did not want to be scrutinized by his Clanmates' curious, sometimes judgmental, gazes. He didn't need to be called out on how poor a medicine cat he was even more.

And Poolripple. Poor Poolripple. He was still rather annoyed at her for all the snapping, but he knew that he couldn't rationally blame her. It wasn't her fault.

It wasn't either of their faults.

He vaguely heard the other medicine cat take a breath. Startled out of his thoughts, he realized that more time had passed than he thought - his surroundings, now bathed in the soft golden glow of late afternoon sun, were more familiar.

"When we get back to camp," Poolripple finally spoke, "go check on Mistrose immediately. If she's not better - StarClan pray she is - give her some horsetail first. I will speak with Spottedstar."

She turned to look at him, and he nodded quickly in reply. Maybe Mistrose would be better - Mallowshine was a capable cat, and he was sure she'd taken as good care of the injured she-cat as possible. Maybe Mistrose didn't need goldenrod that badly.

Of course, Pebblefall was wrong.

Poolripple had hurried to Spottedstar's den as soon as they had stepped paw inside camp. Pebblefall turned in the direction of the medicine den, but nearly collided with a ginger-and-white cat, who had rushed out of the den.

"Pebblefall!" cried Mallowshine. "Oh, thank StarClan you two are back. I did everything Poolripple told me to - I really did - but Mistrose has gotten worse! And I didn't know what else to do, so I just tried to get her some water and pre-"

"It's okay, Mallowshine." Pebblefall tried to sound calm. "Come on, it's okay. Let's go check on Mistrose. I'm here now."

The older she-cat's frantic expression relaxed slightly. She nodded and padded alongside Pebblefall into the den.

A barely conscious Mistrose greeted them with a weak twitch of her ear as they entered. Pebblefall hurried over to her, a worried Mallowshine peering over his back as he crouched to take a closer look at the wound. He could tell it was much worse than before - it was radiating heat intensely and the same bad-smelling liquid was oozing from it, despite the fresh-looking poultice on it.

Pebblefall supposed he didn't need to give her a new coat of herbs, but he didn't know how else to try and make Mistrose feel better - even though he knew that he'd probably be scolded again, he decided to update Poolripple on the situation immediately. Telling a confused Mallowshine to stay put, he streaked out of the medicine den and made his way to the leader's den.

Even from a few tail-lengths away he could hear the two cats. Moving closer to the entrance, he hadn't had a chance to speak before Poolripple snapped at him, "Pebblefall! What are you doing here? Didn't I tell you to—"

"Mistrose's leg got worse," Pebblefall blurted out.

Poolripple paused mid-meow. She closed her mouth.

The two she-cats exchanged a glance.

"Why don't we go take a look," Spottedstar suggested as gently as she could. It was clear she was suppressing something. "Then we can decide what to do."

She shot a glance at Poolripple, who suddenly looked more tired than ever.

-

As Poolripple and Spottedstar discussed in quiet voices a new course of action, Pebblefall was set to fetch some water and prey for Mistrose - though he severely doubted she could get anything down - and coax Mallowshine into eating and taking a rest. When he returned, Spottedstar was already standing up . He heard her say something about "other Clans", before she turned to go, acknowledging him with a dip of her head.

"She wants us to go ask around for goldenrod," Poolripple meowed, staring after the departing leader. "I don't think she's angry, but she sounded disappointed."

Pebblefall wondered whether he should offer a word of comfort. It was rare to see Poolripple with this little fire in her.

The heartbeat he had taken to think, however, was long enough for Poolripple to return to her usual self and curtly meow, "Right. Let's go see what else we can do for Mistrose, and then we can set off."

After Poolrippple checked over Mistrose's wound, she gave the senior warrior half a poppy seed to help her get some sleep and beckoned to the hovering Pebblefall. Glad for finally something to do, he followed his mentor out.

To his surprise he found Spottedstar and Sandwhisker, out of all cats, waiting for them.

"I was thinking you could take Sandwhisker along with you." Spottedstar motioned to the tom with a flick of her tail.

All other thoughts immediately flew out of Pebblefall's mind. For a heartbeat, all he could think about was spending time with his friend. For a heartbeat nothing else mattered: not how poor of a medicine cat he was, not the goldenrod shortage, not how much he still wished things were the way they were before.

Then Poolripple stared right at him, turned to Spottedstar, and coolly meowed, "Thank you, Spottedstar, but I'd like to take Sunsplash instead."

Both Sandwhisker and Pebblefall opened their mouths at the same time.

"But—"

"Spottedstar said—"

"We need to be quick," Poolripple told them sternly. "I don't need you two jabbering away on the trip. There isn't much time before sundown, and I doubt the other Clans would take kindly to us visiting them in the middle of the night."

The two toms fell silent at that, unable to find a good counterargument on the spot. Pebblefall saw the second glare she shot at him, and he realized why Poolripple hadn't wanted Sandwhisker along - she was probably afraid the other Clans would suspect his... predicament.

He wasn't quite sure what to make of that. Was Poolripple trying to protect him, or was she up to something else? He quickly decided that he could think about that later as he noticed Sunsplash approaching the small group of cats, having heard his name be called.

He felt the touch of another cat's tail on his shoulder.

"We can talk once you're back," Sandwhisker whispered brightly. "And you can tell me what it's like to visit the Moonpool!"

"Of course," replied Pebblefall, mustering a happier voice.

As his friend trotted off and he felt his excitement fade away, he was aware of Poolripple saying, "Well, what are we waiting for?"

-

Sunsplash proved to be a decent companion and had the sense to not set off Poolripple even more by asking a lot of questions. They decided to head for WindClan territory first and hoped to encounter a patrol.

It was pure luck that they encountered Swiftlight and his apprentice, Dawnpaw, just a little into WindClan territory. Based on the bundles of leaves in their jaws, the two appeared to be finishing up a scout for herbs.

After hearing about their plight, Swiftlight's expression had immediately turned sympathetic. He shook his head in a disappointed fashion and told the RiverClan cats, "I am very sorry, but we really don't have any goldenrod. I do hope the other Clans have some to spare, and that you manage to find more on your territory, though!"

"Yeah, good luck!" piped up Dawnpaw, eager to be part of the older cats' conversation.

Poolripple's face tensed. But still, she faced the WindClan cats and replied amiably, "That's okay, then. Thank you anyway. May StarClan be with you."

Their mouths clamped around the herbs once again, the two cats flicked their ears in farewell as they bounded across the moor.

Though their short visit to WindClan had not been fruitful, Poolripple seemed to be in a slightly better mood after seeing how friendly Swiftlight and Dawnpaw had been. Pebblefall wondered a little sourly why his being nice had never seemed to improve her mood before.

It seemed that WindClan had been the exception, for both ThunderClan and ShadowClan did not greet them as warmly. The three RiverClan cats met the evening ThunderClan patrol as they were about to cross the border.

"What are you doing here?" snarled a brown tabby she-cat. Pebblefall couldn't really remember her name, but he thought it was probably something along the lines of Twigleap.

"We must speak with Brownwhisker." Poolripple held her ground.

"Then why are two warriors with you? Isn't coming alone enough?" Another cat, a greyish-blue tom, demanded.

It was clear Poolripple was barely keeping her temper in check. "I recently took Pebblefall as my apprentice. And I asked Sunsplash to-"

"You got a problem with us, huh?" Sunsplash suddenly interrupted. "We don't mean any harm. We just came to talk to your medicine cat."

Pebblefall had felt the tom bristling beside him, but had not expected him to burst out this fast, and jumped a little.

"Well, who goes around at sundown? You can't blame us for being suspicious!" the first she-cat snorted. "I thought ShadowClan cats were the sneaky ones, but it seems like RiverClan isn't that far off."

Poolripple's tail was whipping around, the only indication of her annoyance. Pebblefall was aware of his own fur rising and his back beginning to arch.

Sunsplash had a paw raised, his claws unsheathed. "Say that again."

"RiverCla-"

"Enough!" Poolripple drew herself up to her full height. "Is it wrong for a medicine cat to bring a warrior along? I don't think so! Please, I really must speak with Brownwhisker. And it's getting late. You said it yourself."

Her eyes still narrowed, the brown tabby let her fur lie flat reluctantly. "Fine. Follow us, then, and hurry up. We've wasted a lot of time."

"No thanks to you," Pebblefall couldn't help adding.

The grey tom let out an involuntary hiss. He looked like he was ready to claw Pebblefall to death.

His Clanmate stretched out her tail to tap him. "Nevermind them, Stonestrike. Let's bring them to camp quickly and they'll leave."

As the ThunderClan cats turned to stalk off toward their camp, Poolripple shot a glare so deathly at Pebblefall he felt it burn through his pelt. He kept his head down while making his way through the forest, and was aware of Sunsplash doing the same.

Their hostile encounter with ThunderClan's patrol, however, proved to be in vain as well. Brownwhisker had shaken their head and told them that they didn't have any goldenrod, either.

As they stepped out of ThunderClan territory Pebblefall noted the colour of the sky. It was really getting quite late, and perhaps this time they would have to walk right to ShadowClan's camp instead of meeting their evening patrol.

And so they did. Met with bristling fur and narrowed eyes once again, Pebblefall and Sunsplash had learned their lesson. They managed to stay calm as Poolripple hurried to request help from Mudheart, ShadowClan's medicine cat.

Her expression as she exited the den was not very pleased. Pebblefall noted defeat in her gaze as she stalked past them to exit the ShadowClan camp. Exchanging a glance with Sunsplash, the two toms bounded after the irritated medicine cat, feeling the slightly suspicious gazes of the camp guards on them.

It was a heavy heart that Pebblefall dragged back to camp, instead of a heavy bundle of goldenrod.

-

Tired from all the walking and feeling worse than ever, Pebblefall slid away the instant Poolripple ordered him to "get out of her way." He wanted nothing more than to sit down somewhere and take his time to eat some fish and take a break. And to talk to Sandwhisker.

Pebblefall found his friend waiting near the fresh-kill pile for him.

"You're back!" exclaimed the brown tabby excitedly. His face fell a little when he noted Pebblefall's expression. "You look exhausted. Come sit down."

Pebblefall gladly obliged, while Sandwhisker stood up to pick out their meal. Placing a plump fish in front of Pebblefall, Sandwhisker started to speak, but his meow was muffled with the other fish he was holding. "Youf can tell mef abouf your day, if you're upf for it."

The grey-and-white tom heaved a long sigh, looking down at his paws.

"StarClan didn't tell us anything." Pebblefall watched his friend take a bite of his trout. "We still don't know where to find any goldenrod. And none of the other Clans claim to have any, and only the WindClan cats were remotely nice to us. And I got angry at ThunderClan for threatening Sunsplash and now Poolripple's even madder at me."

He paused to take a breath in the middle of this tirade. Sandwhisker swallowed and gazed at him with his head cocked.

"I'm sure it's going to turn out okay," he assured. "Poolripple's just really stressed out. I'm sure it's nothing against you personally."

Pebblefall shook his head. "No way. I'm a terrible medicine cat. I never should've left the life of a warrior."

Even as he said it out loud he knew that it was not true, that it never could've happened. It was painful, not being able to tell his friend why he had to become a medicine cat in the first place.

Sandwhisker snorted. "How long has it been? StarClan had their reasons for choosing you. If they had enough faith in you to tell you to become a medicine cat, you should too. You'll get better."

Then he nudged Pebblefall gently, playfully - he felt his heart skip - and said, "And you get to visit StarClan regularly! That's super cool."

Pebblefall smiled at the other tom's enthusiasm, trying to calm his racing heart. "Well, I suppose it is."

Should I tell him about Ravenpaw? he wondered. All the talk about StarClan had reminded him of the black tom.

He must have subconsciously made the decision, because the next thing he was aware of doing was meowing to Sandwhisker, "Actually, speaking of StarClan, I want to tell you something..."

Sandwhisker looked curious. "Go on."

Oh, fox-dung. How was he going to explain Ravenpaw without telling his friend that he liked toms? Specifically, Sandwhisker himself?

"Don't leave me hanging!" Sandwhisker leaned in teasingly.

He'd just have to wing it, Pebblefall decided.

"So you've heard of Ravenpaw, right?" he began. "That cat from ThunderClan who left when he was an apprentice."

"Yeah, I think I remember the elders telling us the story."

"He's the one who told me I had to become a medicine cat in the first place."

"Cool!" exclaimed Sandwhisker. He seemed to think for a moment, and added as an afterthought, "Do you think there's a specific reason for that?"

Too soon, too soon. Pebblefall continued, stumbling a little over his words, "I don't really know since I barely know him but he seems fine. It's still a little weird though... 'cause the place where I saw him looks different from what StarClan looked like when I visited it. And I didn't see him during my visit!"

"Oh?"

"Featherdawn - oh, she's Poolripple's mentor and her mother - said that it's because StarClan territory looks different if you visit it from the Moonpool and if you don't. I mean, that makes sense, but I still think it's kinda weird? Although he's been really nice to me."

Pebblefall didn't think it was a good idea to mention his outburst.

"I think you should trust this... Featherdawn, right?" Sandwhisker said. "She's from StarClan so she should know! Or maybe you can ask Ravenpaw the next time you see him too."

Talking and listening to his friend already made some of the stress of the day lift. Pebblefall sighed again and replied, "Yeah, that's a good idea. Thanks for listening to me, Sandwhisker. I feel better now."

"Anything for you!" purred Sandwhisker. Pebblefall's heart did a flip. "I'm glad you feel happier now."

As he bent to continue eating, the two toms heard Mudspot's clear voice cut across the camp. "Sandwhisker? Would you please join the evening patrol?"

Sandwhisker paused, and made a face at his half-eaten fish. "Guess I can't finish this now."

He stood up and turned in Mudspot's direction, casting one last glance at Pebblefall, "Take care! Get some rest soon."

Then he bounded off, calling "Coming, Mudspot!" and leaving Pebblefall to stare into his own trout and hold back a purr.

His heart felt much lighter as he finally bit into his own prey, twilight already descending upon the RiverClan camp.

Written by Solace

Edited by Brook