Brrr... Brrr... Brrr... (Sound of chilling)

Urgghhh... It's cold in here. I don't know if I can stand another moment in here. Why is it dark? What is this place?

The last thing I remember was, yes! I was holding a bottle of Muriatic acid in my hand which I took from the kitchen cabinet, and then I went back to my room and locked the door.

No, no... this can't be true. Am I dead? No, I am not dead? (Continuously punching and pinching himself) if I am dead, I shouldn't be here. I should be seeing light. Yes, I should be seeing light. But where is the light, where should I go from here?

Is it true? No! This can't be true. Did I kill myself? Did i? No, I don't remember! The last thing I remember is that I'm holding a bottle of Muriatic acid in my hands and that's it. (Wonder) But why on earth do I need a muriatic acid in my room? That is supposed to unclog kitchen sinks and toilet bowl right? Why on earth am I holding that bottle – insidemy room?

No! You must be kidding me... fate must be really kidding me? (Starting to talk confused) Did I kill myself? Did I commit suicide? No! I should not be here. I should've not done this. My mind was confused. I really don't know what to do. Until now, I'm confused. I really don't want to end my life like this. I was just depressed!

Yes! I was at my greatest depression. Yeah! I can now recall, I was in great confusion a couple of moment ago, I really don't know what to do and there was nobody I can turn to and speak about what I have been going through.

I wish mom and dad were home that night. I wish they were here to comfort me. Maybe if they were there, at least I had uttered in front of their faces how disappointed I was with how they treated me as their child.I wish I had felt their love. But that's no big issue for me. (look down) I am used to it. They were never by my side when I needed them; even in that darkest moment of my life:They are always out! It was only "yaya" who was there physically, but she also has different issues to deal with, and that the motherly love I am longing was never given to me. I never felt, appreciated! I never felt reprimanded! I never felt loved... by my own parents!

In school, all I hear is "Do this, do that – submit this, submit that!" Don't you get it? I can't focus on what I have to do in school because everything is dark. My mind is clouded with fear and sadness! For the longest time, I felt like I just have to drag my feet every time I go to school because I felt no interest in it anymore. Not to mention the classmates who constantly talked behind my back, gossiping, telling that I'm not normal! I'm a mess! I'm a freak! I am an emo!

I am not a freak! I just want to shut myself to the world, to all of you who have caused no help with the situation I have been through. I shut myself to every one of you, including my best friend. Yes, even my own very friend. Bes, it's not that I don't want you in my life anymore; it's just that I cannot stand the crowd when they say you are as crazy and pathetic as I do. I love you so much and I do not want to include you in this trouble I am in. I know you understood me and you were there to help me out, but I guess this depression I am in is not helping our friendship prosper! I have been a pain in your neck for such a long time now and I don't want to be unfair to you. Sorry that I left you. Sorry that I have to push you away! You're the only person in this world who understands me but I have to push you away from me! I'm sorry.

Nobody listened! I was alone and on my own! I felt the greatest pressure a student can feel in class and my teachers did not understand it. My classmates, my classmates, they bullied me instead of knowing where I was coming from. Most of all, I pushed away a friend who is willing to help because I thought the world is against me!

I never really wanted to do this. I never really wanted to end my life. I was just pressured. I was just in pain and I don't know how to deal with the situation because I'm too young and no one was there to listen. Believe me... I don't want to be here. If only I can turn back the hands of time. But it is impossible. I can no longer bring back the life that I, myself had ended.

It's dark in here... It's lonely in here.... It's cold in here... I don't like it here...