I didn't get much sleep that Thursday night, not necessarily because of nerves, but more for the sheer excitement that came with public speaking.

There were about a hundred people in that class, and I got to have their "undivided attention" for an hour. Of course, I wasn't stupid enough to believe that they'd actually listen to me, but I also thoroughly enjoyed not failing classes.

And with Dr. Mann's acceptance of the exchange, I had a chance to squeak out of that class with a C or something.

It wasn't like I had a certain GPA I needed to maintain for scholarships. I didn't have any.

I got ready with Jackie the next morning, although she wasn't particularly chatty. I didn't mind. I was sure she had plenty on her mind, and I sure as hell had enough on mind.

Exams were coming up as well, and while I didn't know much about chemical engineering at all, I figured that she'd have to work hard to keep a decent grade point average. She didn't seem like the type to be okay with just a C.

I let Viktor into the room like every other morning, and he greeted Jackie, then turned to me.

"Are you nervous?" he asked.

I shook my head. "Not at all. I feel good."

He looked over at Jackie. "Is she lying?"

Jackie shrugged, not turning away from her mirror.

"Okay," Viktor said, drawing out the vowel sounds. "I'm sorry I won't be able to talk to you until tonight. Make sure you text me how it went."

He had to leave for his away game, and while I wasn't very happy that he was leaving me, he didn't have much of a choice.

Although, with only three people left in the Nerf battle, which were Viktor, Diego, and some girl I didn't know, getting away was one of the best things he could do.

If I couldn't win, I wanted him to avenge me with a victory.

"I will. And don't forget, keep your head up while you're on the ice. I don't want you to take a cheap ass hit, now that your numbers are starting to look pretty damn good for a third liner," I said.

Winterview boasted some of the most dangerous offensive players in the NCAA, and Viktor was certainly on that list. He was the third line center, but by looking at his numbers, no one would have ever guessed. They were pretty damn good for someone in that position.

Of course, it didn't hurt that he had found some chemistry with the twins of the team, Hunter and Adrian Jardetzky. The two of them were juniors and already drafted (Montreal Canadiens for Adrian, and Philadelphia Flyers for Hunter), and with a last name ending in "tzky," I couldn't help but think they were destined for greatness.

I called them "Spädbarn and the Twins." Viktor didn't like it.

I hadn't met Adrian or Hunter, but I liked them enough from their style of play: physical (to the point where they were almost chippy), not afraid to go to the net for a goal, and always talking shit to the other team.

Pretty much what I would be as a hockey player.

Viktor smiled at me. "Head up, got it. What else?"

"Pay attention to your defense. Scoring goals doesn't mean shit unless you're preventing the other team from scoring them too. I know I'm not telling you anything you don't already know, but-"

"Hearing it from you makes it more important to me," Viktor said.

I rolled my eyes. "Aren't you just the sweetest thing? Look, you don't have to flatter me by listening to my opinions. You know what you have to do, and that was what I wanted."

He laughed. "I'm serious, though."

I couldn't help but smile back. "God, you're so stupid."

I noticed Jackie's reflection's attention flit over to us for a moment, then she went back to putting on her makeup in a hurry. She had class starting soon, and she liked to be at least fifteen minutes early.

I was impressed that she was willing to put so much work into her face, when I couldn't be bothered to get dressed a lot of the time.

Still in my pajamas, I gently nudged Viktor out the door since I had to get dressed for my speech. I decided on wearing something cute, and I was a little too proud of myself for it. I hadn't worn a skirt since Blaine's graduation party.

"Hey, Candy Cane. You're going to do great. I think the changes we made will really fix your situation," Viktor said as I shut the door behind us.

"Thank you for helping me get out of this. I mean, it's my own fault I can't keep my mouth shut, but it's nice of you to offer what you can. It means a lot."

"I didn't even do anything." He chuckled.

"Well, you pushed me to fix it, plus I kinda stole your exchange idea."

He smiled. "It always works."

I smiled back. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure. What is it?"

"Do you like me better-"

The door swung open again, and Jackie brushed past the two of us on her way out.

She lightly tapped my arm as she walked past. "Good luck on your speech, Amanda. You'll do great."

"Thank you. I know I will," I replied.

Jackie chuckled in response as she walked down the hall, her backpack slung over her shoulder. It was freezing outside with nearly five inches of snow on the ground, so she wore her heavy Minnesota winter coat and a pair of boots for snow, not fashion.

I smiled as I turned back to Viktor. "I wasn't sure she and I would get along, but it's really nice that we do."

"Now what were you asking?" Viktor asked me.

"Oh, it was stupid anyway. I think I already know the answer."

I was all alone again with him, and this time, I was determined to get my way. No one could stop me from figuring out what I was missing on.

I grabbed his hand and laced my fingers through his. "Can I ask you a different question?"

He looked down at our hands, then back up at me. He nodded hesitantly.

"Kiss me," I said.

"That wasn't a question," Viktor replied.

I rolled my eyes. "Jesus, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"That is a question."

"And now another question: why are you avoiding this?"

He hesitated before speaking. "Because I know you're just looking for a replacement for Blaine."

"I don't know how the fuck you know that, since that's certainly not the case."

"It's not hard to tell, Amanda. Your eyes give it all away."

"What? Are they not heart-shaped like in cartoons?"

"Well, no, and you just look at me the exact same way you always have."

"What does that even mean?" I asked.

He gave me a weak smile. "You miss him, and there's nothing wrong with that. It's really nice to see you've finally found something that you love, besides misery."

I didn't respond to him.

"I'll see you once I get back from Mississippi," he said, then leaned down and kissed my cheek.

"It's Michigan," I mumbled as he walked down the hall.

I bit my cheek and rubbed my eyes with hand, trying to keep the burning in my core from reaching anywhere visible.

It turned out I didn't know the answer to the question I was originally going to ask.

He actually liked Caroline better than me.

I wasn't sure when the fuck he decided that shit, since he was super close to kissing me just a few days prior, but my whole entire feeling was a little hurt.

I didn't do a damn thing to mess it all up. Or at least I didn't think I did.

The muscle in my arm tightened up, and although I wanted to punch something, I decided to get dressed instead. I grabbed the door handle, but when I tried to turn it, it didn't budge.

"Just kill me while you're at it, life. I fucking love this," I muttered to myself and the locked door.

That was just exactly what I needed.

I sent a quick rescue text to Jackie, but I wasn't sure if she'd see it before I had to leave for my speech. So I decided to do what any rational human would do: go see Krista at the front desk.

It actually was pretty rational of me for once.

What a nice change.

I went down the stairs, then when I saw her, I put on a smile. "Hey Krista, can you help me out? I kinda locked myself out of my room."

"Seriously?" she asked me with an unamused expression.

"Look, shit happens. I've been awake for, like, an hour and a half, and my day already sucks. I don't need anything else to go catastrophically wrong."

She smiled. "Don't worry about it. It's an easy fix. Can I have your student ID or room registration papers?"

"I don't have either on me. They're both in my room."

"Then it's less of an easy fix," she said. "You're just going to have to wait for your roommate."

"What? No, I need to get in there now. I have a speech in half an hour, and I can't show up in my pajamas."

"Where's Jackie? She can help you out, I'm sure."

"She's in class. I already texted her, but I haven't gotten anything back yet. Please can you just let me in?" I asked.

Krista shook her head. "Sorry, Amanda. You're SOL."

"What?" I asked.

"Shit outta luck," she said with a sympathetic frown.

"Oh my god. How am I supposed to even get to my class? I don't have my notes, shoes, or a coat."

"Can you reschedule?" Krista asked.

"I don't think so. It's a miracle I even have this opportunity in the first place. I don't want to push my luck." I took a deep breath. "This is gonna suck."

"I'm sorry. I wish I could help, but for safety reasons-"

She continued to apologize, but I didn't listen to it. It wasn't her fault.

"Don't worry about it." I took off my socks and tried to ignore how dirty the floors were beneath my feet. "I'll just pretend I'm Sacagawea. She was a badass. If she could walk across America with a baby and a bunch of dudes, I can walk across campus in five inches of snow."

"Oh my god," Krista said. "I think she had shoes, though."

"But I don't have a baby. I'll be fine." I walked over to the front entrance and pushed the door open. The wind greeted me with a cold gust of air that diffused straight into my bones.

Oh hell no.

"Fuck yes. I love the cold," I said, making sure I was loud enough for Krista to hear.

"Stop lying to yourself," Krista said.

I looked back at her. She was already typing away on her computer again.

Well fuck you too, then.

I picked up my foot, then before I could convince myself otherwise, I put it down on the wet, cold pavement outside.

"Oh my god," my voice squeaked.

My only option was to keep moving forward.

I put my other foot out in front of me, then again, then again. The faster my feet moved, the shorter they were in contact with the ground, and the less cold it would be.

With the cold piercing my toes like needles, I broke into a run, and all I could do was hope I wouldn't fall.

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Sometimes, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

Is Viktor right about Amanda's feelings, or is there something else going on?