01/26/2015

To no surprise I soon found out Harlan had seen the scientist and I arrive together the other day and it was him who spread the rumors about us to the rest of the nurses. Although I felt ashamed I wasn't going to let it show, it stung when some of the Peds nurses who usually politely smiled instead stared. Finally my lunch hour came, we all took it different times and Harlan followed me in the coffee room and sat down on the chair by my side to eat.

"So Dr. Iceberg was your connection in to the race for the trial? Makes sense," Harlan bothered me.

"He wasn't my connection, I had never met him before."

"Oh so you just figured out how the melt the ice after meeting him? Good move, you should really be proud of yourself, I mean once you win every one here will be so happy with the way it happened."

"Seriously?"

"Hey you're shameless, own it, all's fair in love and war."

"Harlan this is not war, or love, and I suggest you get back to reality because it's my lunch hour so let me be alone please," I said opening my lasagna and iced tea.

"I guess you feel quite confident going from doctor's pet to doctor's protégé, classy so was it worth it to compromise your medical integrity to just be known as the blonde bimbo Dr. Iceberg screws?"

"You must be really bored with your own life aren't you? Or are you just afraid I will win?"

"Afraid of you? You'd love that wouldn't you but I have a question from the people, what about Dr. Fitz? Does he get to play a part too? Or should I say three?" I hated how everything that came out from Harlan's mouth had such a distasteful connotation, don't get me wrong I wasn't a puritan but why did everything go south with him?

"Harlan I get it, you hate where you're at, you hate coming to the hospital every morning, you hate competing with those you deem less than you, maybe you even hate yourself for staying here. But I don't, in fact I love coming in here doing my job and then leaving to go home so why don't you go find what makes you happy? Then you can finally stop trying make us miserable like you and you might be known something other than as the young jerk that screws everything that moves."

"You think your little speech is going to work on me? You're just trying to not answer my questions but I can see right through you Stella."

"Oh you can? Then answer me, are you happy?"

"Why do you care? My happiness is none of your business."

"Well you made it my business when you decided to bother me so when was the last time you were happy? Or even content if happy is too of a strong word for you?"

"So what happens when I tell you? Do I get a prize or something?"

"Maybe I should sign you up for a psych eval because you can't even remember it can you? The one tiny moment where everything felt right? And don't say anything dirty."

"Geez are you sure you're a nurse? Might wanna look into philosophy and plus why would I share personal information with you?"

"Because I might be the only who will ever ask you, your groupies all you guys do is what? Talk about other people sarcastically, you guys don't care about each other right? And with all this delaying it seems like you're the one who's avoiding the question. So here's a thought why don't you just do one thing today that makes you happy? I mean as long as it's legal, I wouldn't wanna be responsible for you becoming a serial killer in order to find happiness."

"One thing?"

"Yes just one thing, pick one and do it, put a little smile in your oh so cynical putrid heart."

"Okay then just remember you told me to do it," he attacked me with a kiss and the lasagna fell out of the table as I fought my way out of the kiss.

"Harlan!" I exclaimed out of breath from the fight.

"What? You said one thing," he smiled in his defense not really sorry and I was covered by lasagna.

"Ugh could you be a human for once!" I yelled at him before finding my way to the nearest bathroom to change my scrubs.

Then echoes of Dr. Herzberg's voice wavelengths surrounded me as I washed my mouth asking, "Stella are you okay?"

"No," I responded right away, "I mean Harlan must be out of his idiotic little brain if he thought he could just kiss me!"

Though I came to my senses that I was talking to myself, it was all in my head and the previous visions didn't make it okay for me to trust myself.

Maybe I was losing my mind because why was it Dr. Herzberg and not someone else?

Only he disturbed me this way so when I walked back to the coffee room. Harlan stood like some moron where we had kissed me I tried to not look Dr. Herzberg in the eyes. But he looked around as if trying to comprehend what had happened before he arrived with the mess of my lasagna on Harlan's dirty scrubs.

"Stella, a moment?" Dr. Herzberg approached me as I was cleaning up the lasagna.

"Sorry I should clean this up," I smiled trying to politely excuse myself.

"Harlan's got this, right?" He told Harlan who got up at once like some robot and started cleaning.

"Yes," Harlan replied.

"And I won't take long," he stood in front of me unyielding to let me by without this conversation.

"Okay," I took a breath to keep a cool head as Harlan would no doubt try to listen in to this conversation so I went outside to the hall.

Honestly I didn't really appreciate it how he asked me. The scientist had his head raised high as if he weren't tall enough to look at us from under his nose. His posture was always impeccable and his blunt emotionless English accent only aided his authoritarian way of speaking.

"We have noticed you've been quite efficient with the patients, Fitz has personally seen many of them favor you over the other nurses."

"I'm just doing my job."

"Well you've been most creative in handling them."

"If you say so," I wasn't the type of person who could be complimented it left me with a blank on how to respond.

"You really don't know how to take a compliment do you?"

"Uh..." Was he listening to my thoughts or something?

"Never mind that, I guess we can tell why surgery was never your aim, you're quite the opposite of our kind, or well me."

"And on the subject of your kind, I've been curious to know what you're working on with Dr. Fitz, are you both hiding the trial in one of the rooms here?"

"You caught on to that?"

"Yes it's hard not to notice you and Dr. Fitz are the only one with an access to a locked room."

"Well I'd like to surprise you."

"Surprise me?"

"You'll be with me this Friday and I think you are capable of waiting until then."

Why did he talk to me like we were in some kind of personal talk? I knew he didn't talk this way to the others, he just barked orders at everyone else. And the way the scientist held eye contact made his words linger in the moment like we were old friends.

"This Friday?"

"Here is an invitation to dinner this Friday at Fitz's house," the scientist gave me the invitation and finally the reason of why he had stopped me to chat. "He likes to invite some colleagues from work every year for what he likes to call a proper dinner party though that's debatable by my standards, nonetheless you are invited."

"Thank you and it's kind of him but I don't really do fancy dinners."

If I went to this dinner God knows what else people would say at the hospital about me and any other male they could make up rumors for so I tried to hand him back the card.

"I understand your reluctance to come but people will spread rumors whether you go or not."

"You've heard then?"

"I don't care what people say about Fitz, me, or you Stella, they don't know us and, it's absurd that you should be kept from a harmless dinner because of it."

"I'm sorry I just don't like to stir drama, maybe next time."

"Fitz's wife will be immensely disappointed to not meet you; he assured her you would come, plus if you do not come you may compromise your almost guaranteed position as the chosen nurse for the trial." He toyed with my vulnerability; I was always ready to please Dr. Fitz who even when grumpy had the most adorable heart towards his patients and well to say I had as good as won wasn't anything to sneer at either.

"You don't play fair do you?"

"Sometimes we must stray away from the rules if we are to go anywhere worth arriving at."

"I've heard that before, somewhere..." I tried to figure out where the pretty phrase was from.

"So I'll see you Friday Stella," he tapped the counter then left.

"Um what?" It was like I had gotten shaken and stirred inside a drink mixer and came out exactly the way the scientist wanted.

*************************************************
No part, character, names, plot, setting, conflict or resolution, point of view, theme or symbolism of this story may be replicated.

Copyright: All Rights Reserved to A. Sena Gomes.