WARNING: some mild drug abuse references...
Tom's Chapter...

I didn't realize how much more difficult it was. Without Ali doing my legwork I had to schedule my showings, appointments and dinners. She had been with me for six months. It's funny how much you forget in six months. It was just back to me and Luke and to be completely honest, I hated it. I kept glancing over at her desk hoping that one time that I looked she would be there, answering phones or reading Whitman.

"Why do you keep looking?" Luke asked me.

"I just keep hoping that..." I stood up and faced the window.

"I don't think she's comin back Tom."

"I know. I just think that maybe if I keep hoping maybe she will come back."

"Yeah.  Really sorry about that." He said inhaling sharply. "Tom, I've got something I should probably tell you."

"Okay." I said turning around.

"Um. I uh, I'm gay." He said abruptly.

"Oh. That's great!" I said trying to put as much enthusiasm as I could. Gay. What? Since when?

"I know..."

"What?"

"I should have told you. That's something that a publicist tells his boss."

"Yeah. You probably should've but it doesn't change anything."

"Oh. Okay. The reason why I am telling you this is... I am planning on proposing on our anniversary which happens to be tomorrow and I still don't have the ring. So can I have the rest of the day of?"

"Of course! I was kinda thinking about doing that myself." I said yawning. I was so tired, sleep would no longer come to me.

"You miss her don't you?"

"More than anything in the world." I said turning back to face the window again. I heard him gather his stuff and leave. I packed up my bag and headed home. I was too tired and too riled up to think straight. When I got home I made myself a cup of tea and sat on the couch. My stack of Doctor who seasons sat gathering dust on the coffee table. I slid in season one and watched all of it. The regeneration, Rose, are you my mummy? All of it. It all breathed her. I wanted her back so badly. A tear trickled down my face and I quickly wiped it away.
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Back to Ali...
I sat in my room and picked up my textbook. Nouns and more nouns. Teaching strategies of nouns. Collective nouns, abstract nouns, proper nouns, common nouns. Over and over again. I got up and went to the kitchen. Neither Luke nor Derek were up. I brewed some coffee and started making the waffle mix. I knew that my waffles weren't nearly as good as Derek's, but it was their anniversary and I was their guest. I needed to make them breakfast. I added a touch more of baking soda and a pinch of cinnamon. I turned on my music and focussed on the glorious food that was the waffle. (we were driving back and it was like 11 o'clock and I still had not eaten. I was dying for a waffle)

"Ahh it is a good morning. Good morning it is! And I am nervous as all hell." Luke said spreading his arms wide as he entered the kitchen. "Are you making waffles?" He snapped turning his nose up in the air.

"Yes my dear I am. And don't be nervous I am sure he will say yes."

"I know, but still..." He sat down at one of the stools by the counter and rested his chin on his folded hands. "Here come with me. I wanna wake him up." I had just poured some of the batter in the waffle maker.

"Seriously?"

"Yes seriously. Let's go." He said waving his hands at me. "Grab a pot and a spoon."

"Yes mr Luke." I said squinting my eyes. "You know what I just realized?" He shook his head. "I don't know your last name."

"Singleton. Luke Singleton." I reached into the cupboard and grabbed a pot and the wooden spoon.

"Let's do this mr. Singleton." We ran into the master room me banging on the pot and him making Indian calls. He burst through the door and jumped on the bed straddling Derek. I stopped beating on the the pot.

"Good morning honey...happy anniversary." Luke started tickling Derek until they were both rolling around on the bed laughing. At this point Derek was on top of Luke, his long black hair falling into his face and he stopped and kissed Luke. So sweetly, it was slow and full of love. I turned and went back to the kitchen and finished making the waffles.

"Hey Ali!!!!" Luke said running into the kitchen."guess what??!?!"

"What Luke Singleton?!"

"IM GETTING MARRIED!!!!"

"oh my gosh! You asked him already?"

"Yes I did! And he said yes!!!!" He started jumping up and down and I joined him. Derek walked into the kitchen and we froze.

"What are you doing?" He asked and curious going in his eye.

"Nothing." We said together.

"You girls are such liars."

"Girls!! Who said I was a girl? I know for a fact that I am not a girl, and. And you should too!" I almost spit. Derek and I were both laughing uncontrollably.

"But sure as hell you're the girl in the relationship." Derek said between the gasps for air.

"I would have to agree with him on that one." I said.

"Ali!!" Luke exclaimed pointing his index finger at me. "You are supposed to be on my side."

"I never said I wasn't."
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One more POV change...back to Tom.
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It started with one. I just wanted a little bit of relief. The pain in my heart was uncalled for and I just wanted a break. It put me into a state of half being. I was floating in paradise, just moving to the rhythm in my head. And then it ended and the pain was back again.

So I moved up to two and then three. I was losing it. Slipping slowly down the hill that I knew was leading to dependence. I was going to end up killing myself. Her being gone; it was killing me slowly. I wanted her back, I wanted to hold her again. I did anything to make the pain go away. Luke started to notice, but just gave me a look of remorse. I wanted him to tell me I was slipping so that I would stop, but the pills and the knife were too close to me. I just wanted out.

It was dark, I was tired like I always was and I headed to the roof. My prescription meds in one hand and my razor blade and liquid plaster in the other. I sat on the edge of the roof where I always did. Where I showed Ali the music that played through my soul. I pulled out my headphones and phone relaxing into the swing. I opened the pill bottle with shaking hands and popped three or four of the pills. I instantly relaxed. I put the bottle down and picked up the razor cutting into my wrist. My last one hadn't even healed yet. I was a dead man walking. Avery, Ali, Luke, Lily. All of them. They needed me. I needed them, but I couldn't do it for them anymore. I was broken, more broken than I had ever been before.

Then I felt the eyes on my back.

Don't kill me. Don't kill me please... I beg of you. So Tom's addicted to his pain meds, Luke is getting married and Ali seems pretty happy, but. But. But. Nopppppe