SETTING

The living room at night.

AT RISE

PANTALONE and LA SIGNORA enter the room and collapse. They both feel very exhausted because they've been looking for the money all day.

PANTALONE

(PANTALONE is panting.)

Damn, where did that servant hide my money? We've been looking for it all day but still can't find it.

LA SIGNORA

(LA SIGNORA is panting.)

Come on, Pantalone, we still have one more room to check. We can't just give up now.

(PANTALONE and LA SIGNORA try to stand up but they can't.)

PANTALONE

But I... I can't, darling. I'm too tired. I need a rest...

LA SIGNORA

Ugh, me too. Well, let's... let's have a rest then.

PANTALONE

La Signora? Can I ask you something?

LA SIGNORA

Sure you can.

PANTALONE

Earlier, you said you would leave me... then why are you still here looking for my money?

LA SIGNORA

Pantalone, I...

PANTALONE

Is it because you're still in love with me or... is it because of the money?

LA SIGNORA

Pantalone, look in my eyes. What do you see?

PANTALONE

Uh... Mascara?

LA SIGNORA

No...

(LA SIGNORA chuckles.)

It's... love, darling.

PANTALONE

Oh... really? La Signora, I...

LA SIGNORA

(LA SIGNORA hugs PANTALONE.)

I still love you.

PANTALONE

Thank you... darling.

(BRIGHELLA suddenly enters the room.)

BRIGHELLA

(to PANTALONE & LA SIGNORA)

Sir, Madam! Why are you both lying here?!

PANTALONE

(PANTALONE jerks.)

Jesus Christ, you scared us! Uh... We've been searching for the money... But we can't find it... yet.

BRIGHELLA

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. I bet you two must be very tired. Let me take you to your rooms.

PANTALONE

But it's too early for us to go to bed now, don't you think?

BRIGHELLA

Sir, it is my responsibility to put you and your Lady to bed now when you're tired, unless you really want to sleep here.

PANTALONE

But... What about my money?

LA SIGNORA

(to PANTALONE)

Don't worry, dear. We only have one room left to check. Let's have a rest now. We can continue our search tomorrow, okay?

PANTALONE

(to BRIGHELLA)

Okay, fine. Take us to our rooms, Brighella.

BRIGHELLA

(to PANTALONE & LA SIGNORA.)

Please, walk this way.

PANTALONE

Wuh? Oh, okay...

(PANTALONE & LA SIGNORA starts walking exactly the same way BRIGHELLA walks.)

BRIGHELLA

Sir, Madam, why are you walking like that?

LA SIGNORA

You told us to walk like you.

BRIGHELLA

(BRIGHELLA laughs.)

No, no, no. I said "walk this way" not "walk like me".

PANTALONE

Wait, what? You're confusing us.

BRIGHELLA

Agh, forget it. Just follow me.

(BRIGHELLA gets PANTALONE and LA SIGNORA out of the living room.)

(5 minutes later, BRIGHELLA quietly enters the living room again. His hands are holding a big box and a plastic bag. He seems evil.)

BRIGHELLA

(to himself)

Phew... Lucky me, they didn't check the living room to find this box.

(BRIGHELLA opens the box, and takes the stolen money out. He giggles.)

Ha ha, they're so dumb and naive. They don't know I'm the thief. They even kicked that stupid servant out of the house.

(BRIGHELLA puts all the money in the bag.)

Okay, now let's get outta here before they wake up.

(BRIGHELLA quietly leaves the house but trips over something again and drops the bag.)

(PANTALONE & LA SIGNORA hear noises and decide go to the living room.)

LA SIGNORA

(to BRIGHELLA)

What's going on, Brighella?

(LA SIGNORA sees the money on the floor.)

Oh... money! Money, money, money...

PANTALONE

(to BRIGHELLA)

Hey, that's my money! Brighella you thief!

BRIGHELLA

Sir, it's not like what you think...

LA SIGNORA

(to PANTALONE & BRIGHELLA)

Both of you shut up! It's mine!

(LA SIGNORA runs towards the money.)

PANTALONE

No, no, no! It's mine, it's mine, puttana!

(PANTALONE runs towards the money in an opposite direction. Both of them then hit BRIGHELLA and collapse.)

(BLACKOUT)

(END OF SCENE)

(END OF ACT)