SETTING

We are in LA SIGNORA's bedroom now. Everything in here is pink and white. There's a gorgeous bedroom, a makeup table, and a big closet filled with clothes, but the letter from PANTALONE somehow has disappeared - it's not in here.

AT RISE

LA SIGNORA comes home late at night for some reason, and she feels very tired. BRIGHELLA gets her into bed while PANTALONE and PEDROLINO are sleeping. BRIGHELLA is holding something that looks like a paper in his hand, and he's trying to hide it from her sight.

BRIGHELLA

Why did you come home so late at night, Madam?

LA SIGNORA

I stayed at my friend's place all day. I didn't want to see my husband.

BRIGHELLA

I'm curious. Who is your friend, may I ask?

LA SIGNORA

It's none of your business.

BRIGHELLA

Well, if you don't want to tell me, that's fine, because it is bed time now.

LA SIGNORA

Is everyone sleeping?

BRIGHELLA

Yes, Madam. They're all sleeping like babies.

LA SIGNORA

Good, good... Oh my head...

(LA SIGNORA closes her eyes, and touches her head with her hand.)

BRIGHELLA

Did you drink, Madam?

LA SIGNORA

No, no, I didn't, of course. I just had a rough evening, and now I feel pretty tired. That's all.

BRIGHELLA

Oh, poor you. Now let's put you to bed before you pass out right here.

(BRIGHELLA holds LA SIGNORA, and gets her into bed.)

LA SIGNORA

Brighella?

(LA SIGNORA is in bed, looking at BRIGHELLA.)

What are you holding in your hand?

BRIGHELLA

Um... It's nothing. Don't worry about it. Sweet dreams, Madam.

(LA SIGNORA is confused for a moment, then she starts sleeping. BRIGHELLA walks out of the room quietly.)

(Sunrise, PANTALONE is outside LA SIGNORA's room. He keeps shouting and pounding at the door.)

PANTALONE

AAAhh... My money! My money! My money! Open the door now, La Signora!

LA SIGNORA

(LA SIGNORA slowly opens her eyes.)

Hey, what's going on? Why are you screaming? Don't you know I'm sleeping?

PANTALONE

Open the door, La Signora! We need to talk.

LA SIGNORA

It's locked.

PANTALONE

I command you to open it now!

LA SIGNORA

But I can't reach the door knob.

PANTALONE

Open it. Right. Now!

LA SIGNORA

Fine, it's unlocked. Just come in, you freak.

PANTALONE

(PANTALONE enters the room.)

You shoulda told me about that sooner. Now where's my money? Where's my freaking money, La Signora? Did you take it? Did you give it to your boyfriend?!

LA SIGNORA

Ugh, what are you talking about? I didn't take your money. You're ruining my sleep, Pantalone.

(LA SIGNORA starts sleeping again.)

PANTALONE

Wake up, dear! Wake up, wake up! I need to tell you this. It's urgent!

LA SIGNORA

What is wrong with you? I don't want to talk to you.

PANTALONE

La Signora, La Signora! Answer me. Did you take all of my money from the safe last night when I was asleep?

LA SIGNORA

Are you kidding me? How am I supposed to know the code of your safe? You've never told me.

PANTALONE

Well, I did tell you the code!

LA SIGNORA

Wait, what? When?

PANTALONE

My God, darling. Don't you remember?

LA SIGNORA

No, no, I don't. What happened?

PANTALONE

I wrote a letter which had the code to open the safe, then I put it in your bedroom. Didn't you get the letter?

LA SIGNORA

No, I didn't! But why did you do that?

PANTALONE

Gosh, you don't remember at all? After leaving our house, you bought the roses, and wrote a letter requesting the code, then you suddenly came back, and put them in my bedroom while I was still looking for you outside. And then you left our house again... In your letter, you said you would get back with me if I gave you the code, so I...

LA SIGNORA

Okay, slow down, slow down. You're confusing me, Mr. Detective. First of all, I didn't come home until midnight. Secondly, I didn't buy you roses, or write a letter to you, or even receive a letter from you. Go ask Brighella to see if it's true.

PANTALONE

What?! No, wait.

(PANTALONE takes a paper out of his pocket, and gives it to LA SIGNORA.)

Here, here's the first letter you wrote to me. Read it.

LA SIGNORA

(LA SIGNORA reads the paper.)

What the... "Mr. Pantalone is sued for harassing the servants..."

PANTALONE

Oh crap, wrong letter.

(PANTALONE puts that letter away, and gives her the right letter.)

LA SIGNORA

(LA SIGNORA reads it and starts to understand.)

No, I... Somebody wrote this letter. Not me... Oh my God. I think you were fooled, Pantalone. Someone tricked you into believing that I was the one that asked for the code, and took your money.

PANTALONE

No, no, no, no, no... That can't be true! Are you sure someone else did this?

LA SIGNORA

Pantalone, you've got to find out who the thief is. It's time to have a talk with our servants.

(PANTALONE & LA SIGNORA walk out of the room.)

(BLACKOUT)

(END OF SCENE)