Wouldn't it be nice for me to say that I went to Honey and Mori's house that night and from there, I slowly became better with the help of people who actually were willing to invest time and effort into me? Yeah, that would be nice, but if that were the case than this random person wouldn't be writing my story down, few people would read it, and I would be doomed to be forgotten in the halls of anime side-stories that few people ever come back from. Dramatic? Probably, but it's still true, and Honey and Mori showing me once that they care after my mom told them about some of my past wasn't going to do too much to gain my trust; I'm not that kind of person, and I honestly wouldn't want to be.

In reality, what happened was that I went to their home and fell asleep after briefly explaining the situation they had heard about earlier that evening a little bit better. I was (rightfully) exhausted, but they didn't hide the fact that they wanted a few answers, and my anxiety wouldn't leave me alone until I knew they knew about, and understood, the most important facts of the situation that my dearest mother didn't explain before.

Namely, the fact that me stabbing myself was an accident; yes, in that moment, I was in a really bad place mentally, but I had not meant to gouge out half of my throat, and I haven't put myself in a situation like that since then. They were relieved to hear it, and I could practically see tension draining from Honey's shoulders when he heard that I was no longer suicidal.

Poor kid, I couldn't help but think about the stress that I was causing him by letting him know what I had gone through; he had just started to get over the mental scaring that finding Risa in the way he had had given him, and here I was throwing more fuel onto the fire. Secretly I wondered how all this was affecting him, he was there for us whenever we needed it, but was anyone ever there for him?

With that pleasantly agonizing thought going through my mind, I fell into a dreamless sleep, relaxing for the first time that day, not aware that my struggles had only just begun.

***

The next day was a good break from the madness, it was the exposition of cultural clubs and apparently there were a lot of people who didn't like the host club coming from other schools; namely the Zuka club, which seemed to be a... drama club? I wasn't entirely sure on that one, they weren't super specific on what they were all about, but I did know that they are extreme feminists, and I also knew that they really didn't like me; I'm just great at first impressions I guess.

I only met the Zuka club after school, when I was heading to the Host club to tell the twins that I wasn't going to go home with them that day, the Black Magic club made me promise that I would help them gather all the ingredients they needed to cast a curse on someone... I didn't know who they wanted to curse, and I didn't want to know, but shopping for the occult seemed sounded more interesting than listening to a bunch of smitten girls flirt with my friends.

All I needed to see to be forced to leave the Host club fighting off laughter was the Zuka club's Hitler-esk salute. I was hoping that they didn't notice the resemblance, that would be awkward if they did. They found me out in the hall doubled over, wheezing with how ridiculous they were, and it only went downhill from there.

"Ah, maiden," A voice made me look up, though I regretted it, because there was the Zuka club in all their glory, two of them still coming out of pirouettes, which didn't help me stop laughing in any way. The tallest member was assessing me with a severe expression, which should have let me know that this wouldn't end well. "Don't tell me that we interrupted you on your way to meet with those oafs?"

I straightened and wiped my eye, trying really hard to stop my laughter, "Yup, you did, but don't worry about it, I needed the laugh." If you are cringing at how hard that is going to backfire on me, don't worry, you aren't alone.

The girl, whose name I learned later to be Benibara, stiffened at that, as did the two girls by her sides, "And what, pray, did you find so amusing?" At this point the alarm bells finally started going off in my head (yes, I do in fact have some sense of self-preservation even if it's entrance is severely belated), and I realized the precarious position I was in.

"Oh... Um..." I stuttered out, trying to thing of something that would not result in an explosion of hatred being directed towards me, "Well, I guess I was laughing at you guys," I said finally, if I was going to put my foot in my mouth, then it was going all the way in.

In unison they stiffened and exchanged glances, yeah, this was going to be bad. "Is this maiden insulting us?" The girl to the right said, which made the girl on the left nod emphatically.

"I do believe so, this school seems to be full of uncouth maidens. I personally blame the Host club." Her nose was turned up in disgust at the thought of the Host club.

Quickly I shook my head, "Oh don't blame them, they have no control over how I act," I grinned at them crookedly, "I'm just this much of a butt naturally; though if you really want to blame something, people here seem to enjoy pinning it on the fact that I'm American."

Benibara stared at me in shock, almost as if she had never met anyone like me, which was totally possible; if I had to bet, I would say that she was typically surrounded by adoring fans, rather than cynics like me. "Perhaps I can forgive you then, you seem to be a maiden that knows her own mind; would you like to come with us to Lobelia? I assure you, it would be better than being surrounded by these men who would suppress you as a woman and-"

She seemed to be about to say something else, but her derisive tone was really rubbing me the wrong way, which made my sarcasm come out with a vengeance, "Oh really? I've been forgiven by the Great God of Pirouettes? Blessed day! I've always wanted to be invited to join a cult who has lost touch with reality!"

Once I stopped speaking, an okay comeback became something truly brilliant when the hallway beside me went dark and an ominous voice that I was quite familiar with began whispering in his ever-creepy way, "Jessica... Jessica."

I looked down the hallway, just barely catching sight of Nekozawa, then turned back to the Zuka club who looked thoroughly freaked out, "Sorry to cut this short, but I have to go; I'm on my way to sell my soul to Cthulhu, have a great day!" A creepy laugh made its way out of my mouth and I practically skipped down the hall towards Nekozawa; those girls wouldn't be bothering me any time soon!

"Jessica, what held you up? We told you to come with all haste, so we could gather the ingredients for our dark curse!" Nekozawa seemed slightly distraught so I patted him on the head and tried to push back my grin.

"Sorry about that, I didn't mean to make you wait, but you just helped me get rid of some people who were bothering me, so thanks for that." He shifted away from me when I touched him, he hated it when I did that, but I couldn't help it; I mean come on, he said that me patting his head demeaned his position as a facilitator of the dark arts, of course I had to do it! His reaction was just too cute (In a non-romantic way, sorry anyone who might have started shipping us just with that sentence, I like my men considerably less involved in the occult, that pairing would never work. NekoJes? JessAzawa? NekoIca? See, even the name doesn't sound good).

Anyways, it was another day or two before things began to go downhill once again; believe me, I was used to bad crap happening at this point, but this threw me off balance, and sadly, it was a lot more serious than three pirouetting girls. I only wish that it was something that would be that easy to deal with...

***

My first indication that something was wrong came with the note I found tucked into my purse the next day at break. It wasn't the first time someone had slipped me a note telling me to stay away from the hosts, but this one was different; all of the others said things like, "Stay away from the hosts or else," or, "Stay away from (insert host name here, I literally had received one about all of them), he is mine you American B... (Female dog)." For the most part I was able to ignore them, they were empty threats, after all; but something was different about this one.

I honestly had stopped reading the notes since they all said the same silly things, but before I could throw this one out, I saw something that stopped me cold; a page with my medical history... The instant I saw that, I made my way as quickly as I could to the rose maze, the only place I knew I would have any privacy, before I even thought of pulling out the note again. "We have your medical history; if you don't want it to be made public, then you cut your ties with the host club before the new semester begins. We don't need your Gajin presence here."

I was frozen, and no amount of stimulation could get me to move; they had my medical history? While most of my brain was trying to trudge through the implications that held, a small part of me was screaming about how sucky doctor patient confidentiality was here; Kyoya having my records made some sense, he was after all a prominent figure within the medical community and was close to me when I had been attacked. But now there was some random person who I didn't even know who had my records? Was nothing sacred?

My brow furrowed, and I started thinking about the consequences of what they were telling me they would do; I honestly wouldn't mind if my records were released for the most part. If they just released my records, then I would get some pitying looks from people I didn't care about, and I would start to hide more than I already do; there would be people who wouldn't care as much, like the host club, and I was willing to bet that the Black Magic club would be indifferent as well. What really worried me was the thought that this most likely would become blown out of proportion by whoever held the records. This only said that I was admitted to the psych ward of my hospital and nothing else, most people wouldn't even know what that meant, and that's where the bullies could turn this into something truly terrible. I knew all too well the power gossip holds on the human brain, and once gossip is started, getting people to believe the truth is nearly impossible.

Obviously, these girls had the ability to make my life Hell and they knew it; people like this, people who had been raised with power, usually knew what to do when something, or someone stood in their way. I hated to admit it, but I could very well be in over my head. If I ignored this note like I had all the others, they would certainly do as they threatened; but I didn't want to lose my friends. Yeah, I didn't care all that much for the Host club itself, but the people who made up the Host club were a different story. They genuinely cared about those around them, which was amazing considering everything they had been through and I liked all of them, yes even Kyoya, though I was certainly more cautious around him with good reason.

I was so lost in thought that I didn't realize I had dropped the note and was now wringing my hands, so deeply in thought that I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings. At least, I wasn't until a dark figure appeared in front of me and bent down, picking up the page.

"What's this?" I watched Mori cautiously as he looked between me and the paper I had dropped, not speaking because it was fairly obvious what the paper was. "Why is this here?" Of course he hit the nail on the head with his second question, he was too quiet to not be observant.

I sighed heavily and buried my head in my hands, still overthinking the whole situation, "Someone slipped it into my purse." The resignation was palpable in my voice.

He was quiet for a moment before he responded, "You don't sound surprised." It wasn't a question, it was a fact, he was simply confirming the obvious and hoping I filled in the blanks; though I sensed that if I said nothing, he wouldn't push. It was odd to say the least.

I looked up at him and shook my head, "Not at all, this isn't my first time getting a note, the only new thing is the medical records." He nodded and seemed to be considering my words for a moment before gesturing to the seat next to me, almost asking me if he could sit.

My bags had spread across the seat, so I pulled them off the bench and scooted over to give him room; I avoided looking at him, confused at why he was here. He didn't hate me, that was obvious enough by how he picked me up at my house the other night with Honey, but he had always been a bit cold to me, so the fact that he was here instead of his cousin confused me.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" I was jerked out of my thoughts when he said that and had to quickly try and remember what we were talking about. Oh right... the notes.

Once again, my fingers began to thread together nervously, "They were harmless," I shrugged as I said this and looked at Mori, who nodded in understanding; instead of staring at me, he was looking at the sky as if it could give him all the answers he wanted. The whole situation was becoming so surreal I was tempted to pinch myself to make sure I was awake.

The silence continued for a while, him staring at the sky and me alternating between looking at him and looking at the ground. I understood that he was a man of few words, but could he not sense how awkward this was? Finally, he broke the silence, "You don't have to be so strong all the time."

This made me laugh, it left a dry, sour taste on my tongue, "Oh, don't I?" My tone was dead serious, which made him look at me, "Tell me Mori, who do I have to be strong for me? My parents don't really understand my depression, so when I mention anything about it, they go into freak out mode, and at school I haven't known anyone long enough to even think about telling them about how I'm feeling. The only reason you know about how screwed up I am, is because my mom told you about me, which I'm still not okay with." I could feel tears pricking at my eyes, but I refused to let them out, I was done crying for now, so instead I clenched my fists on my lap and stared angrily at Mori, daring him to contradict me.

To his eternal credit, Mori made no move to tell me that I was over reacting, or that I was wrong in any way; instead something close to a smile pricked at his usually emotionless mask and he placed a hand on my shoulder in a way that was far more comforting than that gesture should ever be, "I'm not giving up on you."

Those six words instantly made my nearing panic attack fade and I blushed; no one had ever told me that before, it was a good feeling. Sadly, I couldn't stop the nagging doubt in the back of my mind telling me that there was no way he would be able to follow through on that, I was too broken, and eventually he would see that, he would leave, just like so many before him had... But for now, I did my best to push those doubts away, right now it was just me and him and he believed in me. For now, I could pretend that this good feeling would last.