RECAP

Miles is temporarily put off from the agency until the high board members meet with him and decide whether to have him back on or not, he meets with Gerard where he learns of the agency's new decision to disband all inactive teams and put the agents through trials to test their competence.  After that he goes to Bristol, to the apartment he used to share with Camille, but the memories were too much for him, he doesn't stay. 

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Miles

I stopped the car at the side of the road and allowed myself to break down. I cried and screamed and got out to kick at the tires and pulled at my hair and screamed and sat at the side of the road choking on my tears, shaking and wishing for some solace and respite.

I couldn't drive, not even to the nearest hotel or a parking lot. I haven't felt this shattered and defeated before. I knew I had to do something with my life to reverse this feeling, I just wasn't sure I had any strength left to carry it out. I had to fix things with my sister, and fix my relationship with the agency and get my job back so that I could do the only thing that will bring me a sense of relief; revenge.

I sat behind the steering wheel for so long, staring at my shaking hands, clasping and unclasping them as I tried to calm myself down, until I fell asleep in my car, on the side of a highway.

I awoke to someone tapping on the window, but I couldn't get myself to move or open my eyes so I ignored it, in hopes that whoever it was would go away. The light taps turned into loud banging on the window and I opened my eyes with a groan.

There was a police officer at my car door, shining a flashlight through the windows. I didn't know what time it was, but it wasn't dark when I fell asleep. It's dark now.

I roll down the window and he beams the light right into my eyes.

"You're blinding me," I groan and push his hand away.

"Sir, are you alright?" he asks.

"Yes, I just fell asleep."

"You can't sleep in there. Is this your car?"

"It's my car," I reply as I reach for my wallet to get my agency badge out and put an end to this ridiculousness.

I hold it up for him and watch as his face changes from confusion to realization which then morphs into annoyance just as quick. He adjusts the badge on his own belt, out of self-regard I'm assuming.

"You're still illegally parked on a highway and you can't sleep here."

"Got it, officer," I salute but he doesn't find it amusing.

He walks back to his car, muttering under his breath and I almost feel bad for him. We cross paths a lot with regular police officers and since ISIA holds authority over them, we are usually regarded with a sense of animosity from their side. I watch him leave and then start patting around my pockets in search of my phone.

I find seven missed calls from Will, one from Gerard and a text message from Bash.

I call Will first because last time this happened I came back to him having punched someone's face out of anger.

It was almost midnight, meaning I've dozed off for about six or seven hours. I must have been exhausted to sleep in such an uncomfortable position for so long and not wake up to my phone ringing.

"About time you dimwit," was the first thing Will says.

"I'm sorry, did I get you all worried again, sweetheart?" I mock.

"Where are you? Why weren't you answering your phone?"

"I fell asleep in my car, I'm on my way," I inform him.

"Didn't you say you'll be back in the morning?"

"I couldn't stay..." I trail off.

Will remains silent for a few heartbeats.

"Gerard called earlier and he said something about meeting with the board tomorrow and I have no idea what's going on," he says, changing topics.

"Everything is getting messed up at The Agency, I'll explain when I'm back. Is my sister awake?"

"No, she's been in her room with her friend all afternoon. Gemma tried talking to her but she's shutting out everyone, except her friend. You need to be around some more, you know that right?"

I rest my head against the steering wheel and shut my eyes, "I know, I just... nothing... I'll be there more, I'll be a better brother," I say as I hit my head against the wheel repeatedly.

"Take it easy," he eases.

"I'll see you in a couple of hours; prepare to hear about the most fucked up decisions of The Agency."

We hang up and I check Bash's text.

Bash: Can't reach you. We need to talk.

Way to be vague, Sebastian.

I start driving while mentally rearranging my thoughts and plans. One moment I'm on the highway, the other I'm parking in a gas station and wondering how I managed to get here with half a mind on the road.

"Wake the fuck up," I tell myself out loud and get out to fuel up both, the car, and myself on some caffeine.

I was hoping for a warm cup of coffee but the machines were broken inside this almost deserted gas station and my alternative was the cold coffee in the fridges. I grab one and make my way to the cash register but then decide to switch the coffee for an energy drink instead and turn back to the fridges.

I catch a glimpse of movement behind one of the shelves and look in time to see a blonde head ducking out of view, followed by the sound of something dropping from the shelves. I look back to the guy at the cashier but his eyes never leave the small screen of his cellphone.

Was I being followed? I never noticed.

I slowly put the drink down and feel for the gun that was concealed under my jacket as I walk around the shelves. I glance back at the cashier, hoping he would look up for me to tell him to get out without making a scene, but he seems to be so engrossed in whatever is on the screen that he doesn't even blink.

I keep a hand on my gun, preparing for an attack and then quickly round the shelf.

"Freeze!" I shout in authority, aiming my gun at... at a crouched down woman who was shielding a little girl in her arms.

"Please don't," she pleads, looking up at me in a tear-drenched face.

"Shit," I mutter and quickly put the gun back in place.

"What's going on here?" the heedless cashier finally shows up.

The woman was still on the floor, hugging the girl to her chest.

"Nothing," I look down at her as he looks between us. "Do you have any non-expired energy bars in here?" I try to divert his attention but he's looking at the woman suspiciously.

"Did you steal anything?" he points an accusing finger towards her and she wipes her eyes quickly and shakes her head as she gets up.

She pulls the sleeve of her blouse further down her hand trying to cover as much skin as possible, but I notice the bruises on her wrist. I slowly lift my gaze up to her face, trying to find any more traces of black or blue. My eyes settle on her face, specifically on her bruised jaw and the scratches on her neck.

I have to force myself to look away, not only because I was openly and rudely staring at the bruises she's trying so hard to hide, but also because of her uncanny resemblance to Camille. The pale skin, light blonde hair, her figure and height. I take another quick look at her face and her eyes meet mine. Her eyes are green. Thank god. I almost felt like the universe was hell bent on messing with me, but her eyes are green. Camille had blue eyes.

I shake myself out of my reverie and focus on rectifying the situation with the cashier before I can approach this woman.

"She did not," I reply, referring to his accusation. "We bumped into each other and she fell backwards," I say calmly, trying to appear unsuspicious as the man looks at me with an evaluative stare. He's trying to size me up, to see if he can take me down if needed.

He can't, but I let him believe otherwise as I fake a nervous look and assure him we were not trying to steal from him.

Why do I always end up in odd situations?

He looks at my bandaged hand and stares a little too long.

"I'll pay and be on my way," I assure him.

"I don't have energy bars," he finally says and walks back to the register. Weirdo.

"Mommy," the little girl tugs at the sleeves of her mother and the woman bends down, leveling her gaze at her daughter.

"It's alright, sweetheart," she comforts. "It's not him," she whispers, but it was loud enough for me to hear.

Somebody has got this mother and her daughter terrified and I find myself unable to walk away without offering help. Especially with the fright I just caused her and the visible bruises on her body.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you earlier," I apologize.

She nods quickly and moves around me, pulling her daughter behind her.

"I can help you," I follow her and she stops.

"What makes you think I need help?" she speaks in frail confidence.

Because you just assured your daughter that I'm not him while hiding between the shelves of an unfrequented gas station past midnight.

"I just thought I'd offer, if there's anything you need help with, I'm a... police officer."

Her eyes widen in terror and she turns away quickly. I conclude that maybe mentioning I'm a police officer was wrong, maybe she's running away from the police. And that just makes me more adamant on finding out what her story is.

As if my life needs any more struggles at the moment.

I look outside and notice there are no other vehicles parked except for mine, meaning she doesn't have a ride anywhere. I don't follow her again and instead grab my drink and pay for the gas and leave.

I sit in my car and watch as she walks around picking up items off the shelves, and every now and then she would look outside and see me watching. I was clearly not helping my case to show her I didn't mean her any harm by sitting here creepily staring from my car.

I send Will a text letting him know I won't be home soon and then I sit and wait again. A whole twenty minutes later she walks out and starts walking in the opposite direction of my car. I get out and I know she hears that because her step falters.

"Look, I swear I mean you no harm and I know I don't exactly radiate trustworthiness but can you please stop and talk to me for a minute? You don't have to move any closer if that makes you comfortable, we can have a ten meter distance conversation."

She hesitantly turns around. The wind blows her blonde hair in her face and she puts the bag of food she just bought down to push it out of her eyes, but she never loosens the other hand that's gripping her daughter's.

"My name is Miles Shaw," I begin. "I don't work in the London Police Department if that's a concern. I work in a private agency. Do you want to see an ID?"

I don't know what to tell her to get her to trust me.

She shakes her head, "I don't need your help."

"How are you going to go to wherever you are going? No cabs pass from here at this-

I realize I'm doing the opposite of comforting her so I stop talking.

"Do you have a phone on you?" I try again as I get an idea, a lame one, but it might work.

"Why?" she asks.

"Mommy, I'm tired," her daughter whimpers and rubs at her eyes with her free hand and then adjusts the strap of her small backpack. The mother looks at her helplessly and it breaks my heart.

"Listen, just search the name Amylianne Shaw on Google," I say.

She gives me a look but then pulls out her phone and starts typing. I give her a couple of minutes as she scans through the screen, looking up at me a few times. I'm not sure what the search results were exactly, but I know there are news about her kidnapping, her memory loss and her being found.

"That's my little sister," I tell her and I hear her sharp inhale. "I don't know if that's any proof that I'm just some normal guy, with his fair share of a shitty life, trying to offer help and not someone trying to take you back to whoever you're running from."

She's quiet for a few seconds, silently thinking it through from afar. Then she bends down to pick up the bags she dropped earlier and then takes cautious steps towards me.

I offer a smile to help ease her nerves. She stops a few steps away and pulls her daughter behind her.

"I'm Claire, and I know I shouldn't be... trusting you but..." she looks around and then down at her daughter, "this is Judy."

The little girl looks up, her eyes didn't only match her mother's in their green color but also in the fear they held. She stays mostly behind her mother's body with just her head peaking around the side.

"I know what you have under there," Claire continues, nodding her head towards the gun under my jacket. "And I won't feel safe with you having it around my daughter."

That was understandable but I wasn't just about to give my gun to a random stranger.

"I'll keep it and you can have the magazine," I suggest because that's the only compromise I'm able to make.

She knows what I'm talking about and what a magazine is and that confirms that she's been associated with police before, or maybe she just has ample general knowledge.

"No backup ones?" she questions.

"In the glove compartment, you can keep that too."

She nods and I ask her, "Where were you heading?"

"West."

I don't push for more information then. "Me too, to London."

She looks around as if hoping to find an alternative but when she sees there's none she sighs and opens the back door for her daughter to get in.

The kid looks so relieved to finally be able to rest and scrambles quickly and quietly inside. Claire stands in front of the door, obstructing the window's view and holds out her hand.

She's a good mother, I think to myself as I take my gun out and separate the magazine and hand it to her.

"You promise you don't have another gun?" she asks in a low voice.

"I swear it."

"Why are you doing this?"

"You looked terrified; I couldn't just walk away."

She nods to that and rounds the car. The first thing she does is open the glove compartment and takes out the extra one I have in there and keeps it held tightly on her lap.

She turns to her daughter, "Judy, sweety, this nice man is going to take us to a hotel. You can sleep now if you're feeling tired."

Judy pokes her head between our seats and looks at me, "Are you a nice man?"

I let out an odd, breathless chuckle, "I try my best to be one," I say.

"Do you also teach English?" Judy asks and I turn to her mother in confusion.

"Her English teacher was called Miles as well," Claire explains and I stifle a laugh.

"No, I don't teach English. How old are you, Judy?"

"I'm six!" she holds up six fingers.

Judy keeps asking questions and I patiently answer them all and keep the little girl entertained for some time until she puts her head down on the seat and falls asleep.

"She likes you," Claire comments after some time. She hasn't spoken much and just watched me as I talked to her little girl. "She doesn't normally talk too easily to strangers. And you're good with children; do you have any kids of your own?"

"She's adorable," I reply. "I haven't been around kids in so long; your daughter just makes it easy with all her random kid questions."

"I guess now I have to explain myself and my story to you, right?"

"Not if you don't want to," I tell her. "I just want to help."

"You're already helping me, thank you, Miles. I don't know if what I have is enough to pay you back."

I give her a quick look to let her know she's being absurd before looking back at the road ahead.

"I'm not taking your money," I further clarify.

"What are you getting out of this?"

I can't imagine how hard this woman's life was that she finds it hard to believe someone is just offering help without asking for anything in return.

"Just the peace of mind knowing I helped someone," I reply truthfully. "I lost a lot of people I cared about and this would help me feel a little bit less useless, since I couldn't help them."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

It's silent for some time after that and I feel her hesitancy to speak every now and then.

"I want you to know I can really help you though, whoever you're scared from, even if he works with the police. The agency I work at has authority over any police force."

She's shaking her head like my words are not making any sense. "He's a detective, my husband," she speaks timidly. "He managed to get my brother put in jail for a crime he did not commit when I went to him for help, there's nothing he can't not do and there's nothing you can do about it. I appreciate it though."

Corrupt police; the bane of our existence.

"What's his name?"

"Adam Thurlow," she says without hesitancy but then she's silent again.

The silence stretches for minutes and the sound of her uncontrolled breathing is the only indication that she hasn't fallen asleep too.

I think about my situation with The Agency and how exactly I'm going to present Claire's case. I am temporarily suspended and with the changes that are going on right now, I'm not sure if they're going to take me back again or not. My proficiency, skills and everything I've done for the past ten years could be easily overlooked if they think I'm not someone who's going to blindly follow their new rules. Yet, here I am, being my recalcitrant-self despite my exclusion, and ready to file a protection order for Claire at the agency I'm getting kicked out of soon.

"We got married seven year ago after I found out I was pregnant with Judy," she startles me by speaking. "He always had a bit of a temper, but the past two years have been unbearable. It was getting too hard for me to live with him any longer that I went to my brother for help, and when Adam found out he set him up by planting drugs in his vehicle and had him arrested for possession. After that it got worse and there was nothing I could do, I couldn't go to the police and when you said you were one I thought Adam had sent you to find me."

"I tried to run away so many times before, but he was always in the way. I was scared for Judy's life, he never hurt her but always threatened to take her away from me if I leave him. She's only six but she's not stupid, she knew her father was hurting me even if he did that mostly behind our closed bedroom door, and she decided that she didn't like him anymore. And this is how we managed to escape this time without him finding us, yet."

She's fumbling with her hands in her lap, "You might judge me for this, and I won't blame you," I can feel her eyes on me and I give her a quick look with a shake of my head.

"I won't. I know that you did whatever you had to do to get out of that house to keep your daughter safe, and I think that's what a good mother would do, regardless of how you did it."

"Thing is, I didn't really do anything. My daughter did."

Now I'm confused.

"He only lets Judy near his office and his belongings, and so I asked my six year old child to steal some money and the house key, because I'm a-

"Because you're a good mother," I finish for her, meeting her gaze so she can see how sincere I am.

She turns her face towards the window and I can sense she's trying to stop the tears from falling.

"I'm just so tired, and I don't know how did my life go from being a happy wife in a stable relationship to a terrified and miserable runaway mother with her child, in a stranger's car."

"Maybe this is your new beginning, Claire," I try. "You made it out of that house, alive and with your daughter and you can start over somewhere else."

"It's hard to relax when you have someone intent on finding you and putting you through hell again."

"Tell me about it," I mutter. I feel like meeting Claire has put my mind off how harrowing my life has been for a little while.

"I'll do everything I can to put Adam where he belongs," I tell her. "Where are you heading exactly? You shouldn't be going somewhere he would predict."

"I thought about that, he knows where all my friends and family live. One of my brother's friends told me to go to Shepiston Lodge in Hayes and he'll come find me in a few days. It'll be hard for Adam to reach me there, or it'll take him a while at least."

I nod, "I'll take you there and I'll link you to one of my friends from work. I'm in some kind of a rough situation with the agency so if you want immediate action taken, you should have another agent by your side."

She pulls her legs up to her chest and hugs her arms around them.

"A part of me still had doubts about you, but now they're all gone. You're a really good man, Miles. Your family is lucky to have you."

I smile at her words because she meant well but I wasn't sure if I believed them myself. My family was never lucky to have me, I caused their death.

"My family passed away. I just have my sister," I say.

"Oh Lord. I'm so sorry, was it a long time ago?"

"Last month," I reply, looking at her.

She opens her mouth to say something then closes it, then tries again but still nothing comes out and I turn my focus to the road again.

"I'm sorry you had to go through so much. I kind of feel bad that I've been complaining when your life is much worse."

"Life isn't about comparing tragedies. We've both been through shit yet there's still someone out there who probably has it worse than both of us combined, but that doesn't take away our complaining rights, does it?"

She smiles and I feel a little better.

"Thank you for not giving up on me back there," she says.

"Thank you for giving me a chance. So, tell me more about yourself, the real you, Claire."

I didn't want to tell her that she reminded me of Cami, because then she'll ask about her and I'll have to tell her she's dead too and then maybe she'll start thinking I'm a menace and start fearing for her own life as well.

She bends down and grabs two chocolate bars from her bag and hands me one.

"And this too, I don't need to keep this with me any longer," she holds the magazine between us and puts the other back in its place.

I take it back without saying anything and wait for her to reply to my question.

"After high-school, I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with my life. The thought of being a wedding planner always enticed me but my father ridiculed me about it and after a while I put the thought out of my head. I studied finance and business management instead, and even though I wasn't really enjoying it, I went through and graduated and then decided to pursue my real passion; planning weddings. My parents never took it seriously, they thought it was some girly phase or something, I didn't let their words discourage me this time," she pauses. "But, Ian, my brother, wholeheartedly supported me and he looked up some courses and signed me up to become a qualified wedding planner. Studying finance has actually helped a lot and I didn't regret the three years I spent studying them anymore. I opened my own office and my first client was an old school friend and it kicked off after that. I met Adam at the third wedding I planned, he was the best man and at the time I literally thought he was the best man ever. He was kind, sweet and funny. His temper barely showed and when it did he would apologize, he was a different person entirely."

She stops talking for a minute and I give her the time she needs.

"We dated for a while, I got pregnant and I didn't know how serious he was about our relationship so I didn't tell him immediately. I was scared he'd leave," she pauses again and shakes her head while silently laughing, "the irony," she mutters. "When I told him, his first reaction was anger, because I kept it from him for three weeks. And then he was happy and told me we'd make a lovely family. He proposed a month after that and I really did love him back then. I said yes."

"When Judy was two, his anger started to show more and he started acting weird, paranoid. Sometimes he would accuse me of cheating on him, he believed that she wasn't his daughter at some point and wanted to have her tested. I tolerated all of that for the sake of our daughter, he loved her so much that I couldn't bring myself to take her away from him. I don't even know where he got these thoughts from, I barely left the house the first two years after her birth and I put my work on hold to raise her. Things got better for a little while after that and I started working again, but it was just for a little while. He changed completely, became someone else entirely that even his own daughter stopped loving him. And now here we are, I finally left. My body and mind could only take so much ... and seven years were a lot of time."

Jesus.

"I think we should go to a hospital," I tell her. "Get you checked up just in case he inflicted anything serious."

"I can't. You don't understand the connections he has. They're everywhere; his people will find me."

"I told you, don't worry about that. I'll handle Adam, and I can take you to a hospital I work at, even if he manages to reach you there, that place is full of agents at all times, he won't be able to do anything without getting his sorry ass put in jail."

She looks at me for a long moment, "How can I ever pay you back?"

I smile at her, "Maybe one day, if I decide to get married, you'll make sure I have one hell of a great wedding?"

Her grin is instant and it makes me happy; genuine happiness that I have not felt in so long.

"It'll be my pleasure," she replies.

The car falls silent and she rests her head back against the headrest and wraps her arms around herself as her eyes close.

"We're going to Hayes, yeah?" she mumbles. "I don't want to go to a hospital now. Thank you for being kind enough to offer though."

"If that's what you want then sure."

She doesn't reply and I cast a look in her direction to find her already sleeping.

I spend the rest of the ride in silence, lost in my own thoughts. I wanted to blast the music so loud that I wouldn't be able to hear myself think, but I couldn't with two people sleeping in here.

After some time I stop to enter the location on the GPS and contemplate whether I should wake up Claire yet. I decided I'll wake her when we arrive at Shepiston Lodge because she looked like she hadn't had any decent rest in so long.

I drum my fingers against the steering wheel and look at the GPS screen every now and then to make sure I'm heading the right direction. I see Claire shift in her seat and look at her but her eyes are still closed. For a moment I imagine her as Camille and I almost get an anxiety attack at the thought. The resemblance to my Cami has been driving me mad the entire drive.

"Are you feeling alright?" Claire's voice is low but it pulls me out of my thoughts.

"You barely slept," I comment. "Yeah, I'm okay. Just thinking."

"You seem worried."

"I am, about a lot of things," I tell her truthfully. "We're almost there."

"Your sister?" she asks. "I didn't want to bring up your family after... you told me... but if you want to talk to a random stranger about your life and troubles I can guarantee that it helps."

"You already have so much to worry about, Camille."

She shakes her head with a smile on her face, "Well looks like you do have someone to share your troubles with and you don't need a random stranger then."

I look at her, confused. "What do you mean?"

"Camille?" she says and my heart drops, I press so hard on the brakes that she had to brace herself against the dashboard.

I bring the car to a stop at the side of the road and turn to her, "What did you just say?"

She looks panicked and quickly turns around to check on her sleeping daughter.

"What the hell, Miles?" she hisses.

"How do you know about Camille?" I demand. She flinches at my outburst and scoots closer to the door.

"I don't! You called me Camille instead of Claire when I asked you what's wrong, so I just assumed she's your girlfriend or something."

What the hell is wrong with me?

I rest my head against the wheel and take a deep breath then I look at her. "I'm sorry," I pause, unsure how to proceed. She didn't look like she needed an apology; more like an explanation and I wasn't sure I could give her that at the moment.

I find myself looking at her, my eyes darting all over her face but focusing on her eyes the most. Cami's eyes were not green. Focus on the eyes. In a way, I was trying to drill it inside my head that Claire is not Camille. Claire will not be Camille. Claire has got nothing to do with Camille, and me helping Claire has got nothing to do with Camille. Cami had blue eyes, not green. Focus on the eyes. But I can swear it that when I look at Claire's face I see Camille instead. Focus on the eyes.

Maybe it's being in Bristol and in our apartment, coupled with the exhaustion caused by the recent events, that's making me feel this way. Or maybe I'm beginning to lose my mind for real. Whatever it is, I have to shake myself out of it and get it together, because I'm freaking Claire out.

"I'm sorry," I repeat but she is yet to respond or give me any reaction. "I didn't mean to lose my shit like that," I admit, looking her in the eyes. It's the second time I scare her and we've only met a couple of hours ago, I owe her a sincere apology.

I didn't want to explain myself though, because I don't want to put my load on her shoulders, even if for a short time. I just need to get her as far away from her deranged husband as I can and make sure she's safe, not share my life story with her.

A strange feeling dawned upon me as I came to the realization of why I really didn't want to associate her with my life in any way. It had nothing to do with Camille or their slight resemblance, and everything to do with fear. I was scared. I was scared of starting a new friendship and dragging someone into the mad world I lived in.

I didn't want new people in my life for entirely selfless reasons. I want Claire to have a new, better life and not get dragged into mine instead. If I could, I would push every person in my life right now as far away as possible, so that when X8 decide to shit on my life once again, they wouldn't find anyone to hurt.

But I still had to give her some semblance of a justification at least, because I had frightened her and god knows what thoughts are going through her head about me now.

I turned in my seat to face her but at the sight of her terrified green eyes I find myself turning away and facing forward again.

"I'm ... going through shit at the moment and... I have no better way to put it really." That wasn't the justification I intended to give her but the words just tumbled out on their own accords.

"Camille was someone I lost, and she was on my mind and then you said her name and I ... I lost focus. I also haven't had proper sleep in days," now I was just rambling but she didn't make any effort to stop me. "Look, Claire, I can protect you from Adam, your husband. But the moment your name becomes associated with mine, I'm not so sure I can keep you safe from the threats in my life because god knows I have failed everyone so far."

She places a hand on my shoulder, "I'm sorry. I just panicked for a moment; you don't have to explain anything. I appreciate you helping and listening to me all night, it's more than I could ever ask for," the edges of her lips curved upward into the barest hint of a smile, "how about a raincheck on this blooming friendship?"

I let out a slow, fluttery exhale and nod. "Alright, but regardless of where we are and what's going on with our lives, I'm still holding you to the promise of giving me an epic wedding party."

She flashes me another smile, "Well, I doubt you'll decide to get married while your life is in shambles, so I'm sure you'll be in a good place then, Miles Shaw."

"You make a good point, Claire whatever-your-last-name-is."

"It's Rutherford. Claire Rutherford."

"Like Bond. James Bond?" I joke and she laughs before pointing out how lame that was.

A sense of calmness is restored in the car for the rest of the ride. We reach Shepiston Lodge and I ask her to stay in the car as I check out the place first. When I deem it as safe and secure, she climbs out and opens the backseat to wake her daughter up.

It's either Judy is a really heavy sleeper or the poor girl hasn't had any proper sleep lately. I assumed it's the latter and offered to carry her inside, rather than waking her up. Claire was hesitant despite her claims of trusting me, she was still scared to let anyone near her daughter, but she complied and I picked up her six year old girl and tried to keep my emotions and facial expression under control so as to not arise any more questions from her mother.

There was already a booking under the name of her brother's friend and we made our way upstairs, past the empty lobby and through the quiet hallways. It was pretty late, so the silence and lack of people around didn't seem peculiar. Besides, the car park was full of other vehicles indicating that this place was indeed full of other people as well.

But just to be sure and because I was dead tired despite the six- hour nap I had in my car, I booked myself a room for the night. I didn't tell Claire though; I placed her sleeping daughter on the bed and then checked around the room and its windows and outlets.

"Everything looks safe," I state, for lack of better things to say. I make my way outside and she follows close behind, but we stop at her door.

"This is goodbye then?" she tries to smile but her eyes betray her as she starts to cry. "Thank you so much for everything, Miles."

I approach, going in for a hug to comfort her but she stiffens and I take a step back. No hugs. No touching.

"Don't thank me, just promise you'll continue to be strong for Judy and take care of yourself."

She nods and wipes at her eyes, "See you, sometime."

"I'll see you, hopefully soon," I reply and walk out, shutting the door behind me.

I go down to the reception desk, book myself a room and ask the receptionist for a paper and a pen. I write Claire an instruction letter, telling her of another safe place to go to after she leaves here and add some contact numbers she might need. I don't include my number or any contact she could reach me through. I ask for the letter to be delivered to her room and make my way to mine, where I fall asleep the instant my head touches the pillow.

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Thank you for reading! xx