"It's not a nice place! The last two times you came you were almost attacked!" Jax said while punching the weighted bag hanging from the horizontal beam. 

I stood there with my arms crossed firmly, standing my ground, "I'm coming. I'll bring a group of friends and I won't leave them. Bring Lucas if you're so worried and I'll stick with him!"

Jax groaned, "No! I don't want you in a place like that again. Theres too many sleezy guys there and all their gonna do is imagine you naked."

I groaned in annoyance, "You don't even know that! They'll be too distracted from the fight!"

Jax stops punching and gives me a hard stare, "I'm a guy, Milly. Trust me I know."

"No you don't!" I shouted. 

"I do because that's what I imagine too and I don't want any other bastard doing the same."

I felt my cheeks heat up in a bright colour, "You don't need to talk like that," I said with a more shy voice. 

Jax chuckles, "Well it's true. I haven't seen you naked yet so all I have is my imagination."

For the past two months Jax hasn't let me anywhere near his boxing fights. I ask every week if I could go and every time without fail he says no. He keeps saying it wasn't safe. He doesn't like guys hitting on me, but I have a feeling there was something else as well. 

I released a defeated sigh, "I don't like it when you come back to me as if you've run a marathon, you're always complaining about how you're muscles are always sore and you have bruises on you're ribs. I don't like that look on you, Jax."

He stands there staring and his eyes soon melt into a softness. He sighs and approaches me, "Oh Milly." He circles his arms around my waist and pulls me into his embrace, "I hear what you're saying and I understand. I need to do some compromising don't I?"

I smirked and rest my hands over his chest, "Yes you do."

"Hmmm..." Jax looks down at me in wonder, "I don't want you coming to this one."

I frowned, "Jax I-"

"But," He interrupted with a raised brow, "You can come soon. There will be an event coming up and I'll want you there."

I sighed, "I don't like this." I admitted. 

He smiles and kisses my forehead, "I know, baby. But just know that things are gonna change for the better."

I nodded my head  in understanding. I wanted to ask if there was anything else he wanted to tell me, but I didn't. I've already pestered him enough with my begging. I stood on my tippy toes and raise my head toward his. He smiles down at me and leans in kissing me. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer. He tightens his hold and lifts me up. I immediately wrap my legs around his waist. 

Our soft lips dance together in a passionate movement, causing my senses to be overwhelmed this feeling of a steamy desire. As our kiss becomes more desperate, Jax moves us and leans me against a wall. Through his gym shorts I felt something stiff against my core. I was wearing sports legging so the feeling of his hardness was very prominent between my legs. My fingers racked through his hair as my hips automatically began to roll against his. 

Through his laboured breaths he groans deeply, "Milly you're killing me baby." His own hips began to grind against me, making me feel this warm gush between my thighs. But he suddenly separate our lips. I look up at him, his eyes dark with desire, "We have to stop or else I won't have the strength to if we keep going."

I gulped and nodded my head breathlessly. He slowly lets me down to the ground, my body sliding against his. 

I looks down at me and smiles, but it does not reach his eyes. He leans in and kisses my forehead, "I'm gonna go have a shower. Wait here. I'll be quick." And without another word nor a glance, he leaves for the mens showers. 

I sat down and sighed. My body was very much so hot and bothered. I dragged my hands down my face as I've become aware of the fact that I'm gonna have to do this sooner or later. We've come very close on multiple occasions. It's gotten to the point now that if I prolong it that it'll end up just being cruel to Jax. 

He's been treating me so well. He hasn't pushed me at all with the physical stuff. He's let me control everything. But now it's come to the time that I think I'm ready, but I'm still afraid. Then again I'm sure everyone was nervous for their first time. I just have all these fears running through my mind like what if I'm not good at it? What if once he sees me naked he can't get an erection? What if I just don't do it for him? He's very skilled in that department and I have no skills at all. 

I groaned, "What the hell am I gonna do?"

JAX

I lean against the wall in the shower and groan in frustration. I don't blame Milly and I'm not angry with her. I would never push her to do something she wasn't ready for. But it's fucking hard to not have thoughts of her naked under me. 

I close my eyes as the picture invades my mind. Her naked on my bed, her beautiful soft skin. Even the thought of her scar was sexy to me. She was her own kind of beautiful that can't help but admire. I clinch my jaw to not make any noise. My hands run down my chest down to my cemented and protruding knob. I wrap my hand around my shaft and pump it up and down imagining it between her thighs. 

I bit my lower lip as the thought of her skin against mine, the sounds she might make, her warmth surround me, her legs wrapped around me. The building sensation was too much. I felt my ab muscles tighten as a wave of an orgasm floods my nerves, overflowing my senses. 

I shoot out and couldn't help but groan in satisfaction. I release a laboured breath and I turn the shower on to cold. 

I sighed and gulped, remembering that Milly was out there waiting for me. I felt guilty that I was in here doing this, imaging her in that kind of position. I wasn't sure if that was disrespectful to her? Or is it flattering? I shook my head, I wasn't sure. I mean, she is my girlfriend. I should be allowed to have those kinds of thoughts about her if it's just only about her, which it is. 

I got out of the shower and changed into some clothes. I walk out with my gym bag slung over my shoulder to see Milly leaning against the beam, lost in thought. She's been doing that a lot lately, but she never says what she thinks about. 

I come up to her side and kiss her cheek. She jumps in fright and gasps before turning to me, "I didn't hear you." She said breathlessly. 

I smirked, "Obviously. What were you thinking about?" 

She just shrugs and paints on her smile, "Nothing important. Shall we go?"

I stare at her for a while, studying her face. I could tell there was something else bothering her but I didn't want to bug her about it. I'm sure if it's important she'll tell me...I hope. 

I drop my arm over her shoulder and guide her to the door before saying, "Yeah sure, let's go. I'm pretty sure the Diner is still open."

***

MILLY

Jax walked me home that night and kissed me goodnight before leaving. I threw my house keys on the counter when I saw a bunch of letter on there. I frowned as I approached them and sorted through the words and names. One of which caught my attention and triggered my heart to beat over-time. 

Harvard University

I gulped. I knew what was inside and yet I still didn't want to open it. With shaky hands I ripped it and pulled out the sheet of paper. 

You Have Been Accepted...

I took a deep breath. If I were to go to Harvard it would be before the graduation ceremony. That's soon. I didn't know what I was going to do. Earlier in the year I would've just accepted it since it's what my parents wanted for me. But that was before Jax. I can't leave him. He's the best thing thats ever happened to me. 

I could just not go to university at all? But then what would I do? If I had the choice, what would I want to do. I sighed, I have no idea. I don't have anything thats my thing. I mean, people like, painting so they become an artist. People like writing so they become authors or journalists. What was my thing?

I wonder what Jax's plan was? I've asked him so many times but he just kept telling me not to worry and that he's gonna take care of us. What does that mean? What does he have planned?

I went up stairs and sat down on my bed. I kept looking at the paper, it was the key to my future. What if this is the end? What if this is just how life was gonna be? But I don't want it to be this way. I just wish I could whatever I wanted without any worry. I know my parents are really excited for me to go to Harvard, even my father is having longer conversations with me at dinner now. He's asking me my a lot of questions. And my mother, she's starting to listen when I talk about my day. I didn't want to disappoint them, but I also don't want to disappoint Jax. 

I wonder how he'll react if I said I was going to Harvard? Would he be angry with me? Would he break up with me? I groan and rub my face. I don't know what to do. I lye down and close my eyes. I just wanted the darkness to come sweep me up. I just want everything to be on pause for a few moments. 

I kept tossing and turning the whole night. I didn't know why but I felt so anxious. I was coming out of my sleep when I heard them whispering. 

"I don't think this is a good idea, man. We should just leave, we haven't done anything yet! Let's just go!"

"No! We're already here! Let's just take what we can!"

"What if she wakes up!"

"We'll just have to knock her out."

"Knock her out?! She's a fucking girl, David! What the fuck! I didn't sign up for this!"

"You need money don't you? This is our only option or else our lives are done!"

"No, David. I'm not doing this. This is wrong!"

There were guys breaking into my house! My heart pounds into my chest, echoing into my ears. I try to calm my breathing but my lungs burn for the desperation for air as panic settles into my nerves. 

I hear them walk out of the room rummaging through different rooms. I quickly sit, "Fuck fuck fuck!" I whisper to myself. I get out of bed and grab the baseball bat that's under my bed. With shaky hands I grip it tightly and walk out into the hallway. I hear the sounds of rummaging in one of the studies. I look down on the floor and step carefully on the parts I know don't squeak. 

I peak inside and see a guy with a balaclava on. He has his back to me as he looks through the shelves and drawers. I sneak as quietly as I could behind him. I gulped as I raised the bat. I was about to swing as hard as I could when I'm yanked back. A hand covers my mouth preventing me from screaming. 

"I wouldn't do that, sweetheart." I hear his voice against my ear. I whimper as I try to get out of his hold but his grip just goes tighter. He drags me out of the room and into my bedroom.

He throws me on the bed, but immediately jumps on it and wraps something over my head so than I couldn't see, "P-Please don't hurt me!" I exclaimed. 

"Shut up!" The guy says in a low and harsh tone. 

I hear the door open and close, "What the fuck man! We can't do this! She'll call the police!" 

"Dead people can't call the police." The other guy says. 

I began to sob as the reality of my situation sinks in, "Please! I'll give you anything just please don't kill me! please!" I begged. 

"No, David. I agreed to rob a house not MURDER!"

"Fine! We'll take her with us."

"What?!" 

I whimpered.

"Shut the fuck up and get out of the fucking bed now!"

My mind goes shaky as I was transported to a different scene. I was on a gurney. An extreme pain radiated out of my hip. Through the blur I saw a car that was completely totalled by a big truck. There was a giant hole on the door where the trucks hook from it's bull bars seemed to rip through. 

There was a guy with dark brown hair that was being restrained by the police but he was resisting. His eyes that were blazing with anger were trained on me, "You better watch your back. When I get out, because I will get out, I'm gonna find you. And I'm gonna fucking kill you. It'll be my little surprise for you. The grand fucking finale of your miserable life."

Somehow he get's lose of the policeman. He yanks the gun out of his hand and runs to me. I scream and try to get out of the gurney, but was strapped in. The brown haired boy presses the the nozzle of the gun in my stomach. A loud sound echoed into the air followed by a deadly silence as a quiet scream released out of my mouth as an extreme pain strikes me. 

I shout out of my dream and sprung upright. Sweat coated my skin, my breathing was ragged as I tried to control the fear that thrived in my heart. I fist the sheets as I close my eyes and control my breathing. 

"He's not here. He's locked up." I said to myself, "He can't get to you." Even though those words were true, I still didn't feel safe. I felt like he could jump into my room at any minute and kill me and there was nothing I could do to stop him. I felt so helpless, like a lamp just waiting to be slaughtered by the lion. 

I cried into my hands. When is this going to stop? I felt my scarred up hip and cried more. That night left a permanent mark on me and I can't escape it. I looked out the window and saw it was a starry night. My clock read 2:00 AM. I wiped my tears and climbed out of my bed. I put on my fluffy purple robe. 

On shaky legs I walked outside and looked up at his window. That was the only place I felt safe. Grabbing onto the branches I began to climb the trees, but it was difficult as silent tears continued to flow down my cheeks. I reach his window. I raise my hand and knocked on it quietly. His face comes into view immediately. It was illuminated by the moonlight. When he recognised it was me his eyes widen. He opens the window, "Milly?"

I silently climb into his room. He helps me go back on my feet. I see him turn around and switch his lamp on. He freezes when he sees my face. He frowns and cups my cheeks, "Milly, what's wrong? Did something happen?"

I shook my head.

I tilts my chin up, making me look up at him, "Baby tell me what's wrong or I can't help you."

"It was just a nightmare." I confessed in a shaky voice. 

His eyes soften. He never knew what the dreams were about. But he still would hold me whenever I had them. He pulls me into his chest, wrapping his arms securely around me, "Do you wanna tell me about it? It might make you feel better."

I rests my head on his chest and shook my head. All I wanted was to be in his arms, inhale his intoxicating smell and just feel...safe. 

Jax's arms bend down wrap under my legs, lifting me up bridal style. He lays me on his bed. He takes his shirt off and climbs in next to me, "Did you get hurt in your dream?" He asks gently. 

I nodded my head silently. I didn't trust myself at that moment. I felt like if I opened my mouth, words wouldn't come out, but a sob that was stained with fear and hopelssness. That's something I don't want to do. 

He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me into his chest. My back pressed tightly against his front. His arms and legs wrapping around me like a protective force-field. His lips were near my ear as he whispered, "Sleep, Milly. I'm right here and I won't let anything happen to you."