JAX

I felt irritated by how loud the music was and how deep the bass seem to shake everything, making my headache worse. I sipped my drink while sitting in the corner. I was surprised that I wasn't in the mood to party. I'm usually always in the mood to do something crazy. That's what I was known for. But not now, I guess I used parties and girls as an escape. Now all I think about it Milly.

I groaned. I didn't feel like being here but Lucas insisted on me coming. I just felt like driving somewhere alone with my music. But I knew I'd get into trouble that way.

I knew that Milly came home today. I considered going to see her, but decided not to. I thought I should let her settle into her room and recover from her trip before bombarding her with an intense conversation.

I've been sitting in the corner of the room for a while now, glaring at any female that was giving me suggestive stares. There were a lot of pretty girls here, but I automatically compared them to Milly and they'd fall short compared to her in every way I could think of.

I look over at the bar and saw Lucas was there doing some crazy tricks for his guests. He said he'd been texting this girl for a couple of days and invited her and her friend tonight. I hope he didn't expect me to entertain her friend.

Yet again another Spanish song comes on. What kind of playlist did Lucas make? All he's been blasting is spanish party songs or Spanish themed songs.

https://youtu.be/Pkh8UtuejGw

I looked at the time. I'm gonna leave after this drink because I can't take it anymore of this. I sipped my drink, I got up and moved to the bar. Lucas caught eyes with me and nods, "What's up man, you want a drink?"

I shook my head, "Imma head out soon."

Lucas frowned, "No! You gotta stay! I want you to meet the girl I've been after."

I sighed, "Sorry man, maybe another time. I ain't feeling too good."

"What're you mean you ain't feeling too good? You're always down for a good party and you know that my parties are your favourites."

That is true. He got me there, "I gotta wake up early for training tomorrow morning anyway."

Lucas rolls his eyes, "Whatever man," His eyes look over my shoulder and then he smiles at me mischievously, "I put your jacket in the hall closet by the way."

I frowned, "I left it under the bar."

Lucas kept smiling, "Well I moved it."

I groaned, I didn't feel like asking him what dumb thing he did. For someone a couple of years older than me, I feel like I can be the more mature one sometimes.

I went over to the closet and my jacket was no where in sight, "What the fuck."What was Lucas playing at.

I growled and slammed the closet shut. I turned to head toward the bar, but I froze. I blinked a couple of times to see if this was real, "Holy shit." I breathed out in shock.

Milly was standing at the bar next to Heather who was talking to Lucas. Wait Heather was the girl Lucas has been texting?

My eyes were completely and utterly fixated on Milly. She looked sexy as hell. She was wearing a short, tight and red velvet dress the hugged her delicious figure. Her dark brown hair cascaded down her back in beautiful shiny waves. My eyes run down her body. I felt myself become out of breath when I saw her strappy black heels. My mind wondered off and I imagined what they would look like wrapped around my waist.

She was absolutely stunning.

MILLY

I felt nervous being here dressed like this. I never dress like this. but at the same time, I did feel sexy which was rare for me. I don't usually feel so empowered like this, but tonight I do.

Lucas and Heather were talking to each other while I was sitting at the bar, sipping my drink. Heather was good, she kept checking up on me and tried to include me in the conversation, but I quietly slipped away from them. I wanted Heather to have a good time with Lucas without worrying about taking care of me.

I was sipping my drink while looking around Lucas's house. It was so big and extravagant. How does a bartender get a place like this?

"Hey there."

I whipped my head around and saw a guy standing next to me, "Oh, umm, Hi?" The music was so loud I didn't even realise he was there.

He smiles down at me, "My names Andrew. Yours?"

I leaned forward and shouted over the music, "Milly. My names Milly."

"Cute name. You a friend of Lucas?" He asked.

My shoulders bounced down, "You could say that. I'm friends with the girl he's interested in." I nod toward them at the bar. Andrew follows my gaze.

"I see. And are you interested in anybody here?" He asks as he leans a little closer. My mind immediately pictures Jax. But I haven't seen him yet. I've been here for a while, I would've seen him by now.

"Not really." I replied, "I'm just here for my friend."

Andrew nods his head understandingly. He lifts his arm and rests it on the wall above my head. I instantly felt uncomfortable. I felt trapped. It wasn't the same when Jax did it. It was different.

"To be honest," He said, "I came over here because I couldn't keep my eyes off you. You're hot in that little dress you're wearing."

I gulped, "Th-Thanks." I said hesitantly. I regretted wearing this outfit instantly. I shouldn't have worn this. It drew too much attention. I didn't like that.

Andrew kept talking to me but I couldn't listen. My eyes scanned the area for Heather. I was gonna go tell her I'll probably go home. I didn't want to be here anymore with sleezy guys trying to hit on my all night. My eyes didn't recognise any face. Damn it! Where'd she go?

"So do you want to?" Andrews asks.

I blink a couple of times, "Umm what'd you ask again?"

Andrew chuckled, "I asked if you wanted to come to my place tonight?"

"Your p-place?" What does that mean? Does that mean he wanted to have sex? My heart beat hard against my chest, fuelling my veins with anxiety. I swallowed as I scanned the area for Heather and Lucas. But they still weren't anywhere in sight.

The flashing lights, the loud music, and Andrew wanting me go back to his house...I felt myself begin to panic. I felt overwhelmed. At the start Jax and I had an intense conversation about us, then suddenly my parents were home, I'm forced to fly to Cambridge to look at Harvard for a week filled with a hectic schedule that Mr Walsh organised, the day I come back home Heather wants me to go to a party which I agreed to go to so I really can't complain, but all of this happens while I miss Jax, but am still confused about US and I still don't know what to do about it.

My head begins to spin. The flashing lights roll over the crowd. The bright light flashes over a head of blonde which catches my attention. I become still and I don't breath. I step forward away from Andrew and through the crowd I saw him.

"Jax." I said to myself. He was sitting on a couch with a group of guys with a cigarette between his fingers. He was already looking at me. His stare intense, his crystal blue eyes striking and yet comforting. I felt myself become entranced, as if he cast a spell on me just with one look.

Suddenly Andrew steps in front of me and annoyingly blocks my view of the greek god, "You know that guy?"

I nodded my head, "Yeah. He's a friend."

Andrew steps a little closer. I tense up completely when I feel his hand on my waist. He ushers me to the opposite direction of Jax, "Let's get outta here."

I frowned, "Wait, I didn't say-"

"Trust me, We'll have a lot of fun. I got really good drinks back at mine too."

I stumbled over my heels as I tried to get out of his grasp, "No I didn't agree to-"

His hands goes lower toward my hip. I shove him away from me, "I said I didn't fucking agree to go with you, asshole." I exclaimed.

Andrew scowls at me, "Why not? You'd be lucky to get with me. Do you know who I am?"

I gasped at the blatant disrespect. He steps forward and I stumbled back into a wall. Except it wasn't a wall because walls don't have strong, rough and warm hands that gently grasp your waist. I look over my shoulder to see Jax glaring at Andrew.

"Do you know who the fuck I am?"

Andrew's tough facade seemed to falter when his eyes land on Jackson.

"Touch her again and I'll beat you till you have no fucking memory of her." Jax says in a hard and threatening tone.

Andrew gulps, but he still puffs his chest out, "I'd like to see you try."

I cringe. Just stop Andrew. Just stop for your own sake.

Jax chuckles but without humour. It was a dark laugh that gave you chills, "Trust me, if I actually try...you'd be dead."

One of his friends came and grabbed Andrew, "The fuck you doing man! That's Rampage Reed!"

Andrew's face pales, "Y-You're Jax Reed? As in the underground fighter??"

Jax just ignores Andrew like he's nothing. His hand was still secure around me waist as he guided my through the crowd. I found myself gripping his shirt while we moved around.

When we got to a corner he faces me. He's standing pretty close to me when he asked,  "Are you okay?"

I nodded my head, "Yeah. Thank you for helping me." My skin felt like it was on fire as I felt his hands gently and lightly grip my waist to pull me closer to him.

Jax shook his head, his chest rising and falling fast, "I should've punched that guy in the face."

"No, it's best to just leave it. He's not even worth it." 

We stand still and stare at each as the atmosphere around us felt heavy. My heart was pounding hard. My lungs burned as I felt out of breath. Looking at him made my heart ache. I wanted so bad to just launch myself in his arms and kiss him and for him to tell me that everything was okay. But I knew better. It felt like everything was set against up.

However, seeing him and feeling him so close, it made me sad to know that I won't get to have him. He stares down at me softly and longingly. I felt my bottom lip quiver. Will I ever get what I want in life? What will my life be like knowing that I'll never have Jax in it?

I stepped out of his embrace. His arms hang at his side as he studies me. I shook my head as my eyes welled up with tears, "I'm sorry," I said shakily, "I can't...I just can't do this."

I turn around before he could see the tears fall from my face. I ran through the crowd and out the door. I gasped when it was pouring down with rain. What is with rain and me! It's like the sky purposely plans to rain on me on the worst days!

I ran outside, taking my heels off. I look around, maybe a cab will be near by? I walk a little down the street, my dress completely soaked. Tears fall freely down my face. I felt like a tangled ball of string. I was a mess.

https://youtu.be/RI-HOQ27QEM

"Milly!" Someone shouted over the rain. I stop in my tracks because it wasn't just someone's voice. I turn around and see Jax standing there soaking wet, his shoulders rising and falling as he was breathing heavily like he was running.

He walks towards me with long strides, strides of determination. I stepped back timidly and shook my head, "Jax please," I pleaded, "Please just leave it, you know that we-"

"Just stop," He growls. He stands in front of me, looking down at my face.

I didn't stop the tears that continued down my face. I shook my head, "I can't Jax, I'm not worth it. I'm not gonna put my future on you or my insecurities and paranoia. I'm too much work to be with!" I shout through the way as I take steps backwards.

Jax shook his head, "That's only what you think."

I shook my head, "No, I'm being real for once. I am not perfect. My body isn't perfect. I am still so insecure because you've been with gorgeous girls that I can never measure up to. I get paranoid that you're playing games with me! I need to take medication because of my post traumatic stress disorder! My future has practically been set in place! Look at me Jackson!" I sobbed, "I'm fucking crazy! I'm a mess! I'm doing you a favour by not pursuing this!"

He stands a couple of feet away from me, his jaw clinching, his hair hanging low over his face with droplets of water falling, and his wet white shirt sticking to his muscular figure. His eyes still glued to with a gleam of certainty.

"Yeah you are a mess. You're a big fucking mess, but I am too. You knew that and yet you still wanted me," I felt my cheeks colour at his intimate confession. He starts to walk to me slowly, "So I'm going to do the same. You're beautiful, Milly. You're kind, you care about people, you carry people in your heart, you have no idea how precious you really are, so let me show you."

I felt a fresh set of tears when he described me as precious. No one has ever talked to me like that before. I think because not even my parents seem to care about me, I secretly expected nobody to ever care for me. But hearing his words, it melted into my heart, but only made it harder to take steps back.

"We're not even officially together, Jackson and it's already gotten too complicated." I argue shakily.

He shook his head confidently, "You're making it complicated."

"I'm being realistic."

"You're just afraid."

"I'm too messy! This is too Messy!" I shouted.

"Fine," He growls, "Let's make it simple," Jax stops right in front of me, our chests almost touching. He looks down at me and grips my shoulders, "I want you."

I become still. I gulped as I looked up his towering height. His crystal blue eyes pouring into my own, "I see you and I want you, Milly. Everything in me calls to you," His hands moves from my shoulder up to my neck, "I see you and I want you." He repeats in a softer voice.

I felt my eyes continue to have rivulets of tears falling, I sniffled, "Y-You want me?" I said with shakily voice that held a pinch of disbelief.

Jax nodded his head, his hands gently travels down my body. I tense when he rests them loosely on my hips, but his eyes still stay on me, "I want you." He repeats.

I gulped and I couldn't stop myself anymore, "Okay."

Jax's shoulders sag with belief, and he exhales a nervous laugh, "You got me nervous there for a minute."

I laughed as I wiped my tears, "I'm sorry. I'm just being messy."

Jax laughs and bends down and rests his forehead against mine, "Well, from now on, you can be my mess."

I couldn't help the smile that formed on my lips. Jax's eyes notice the movement. His finger pushes my chin up to look at him and he and smashes his lips to my own. I moaned as I felt his soft lips against my own. My arms immediately wrapped around his neck. His arms wrap around my waist firmly and lifts me up causing my legs to instantly wrap around him, making me feel helpless and yet cared for as a warmth of his touch left me limp. His insistent mouth pushes my lips apart , making sparks of nervous pleasure flow through my body with tendrils. We separate out of breath.

He looks at me and it still shocks me when his eyes hold a soft and tender adoration for me. He rests his forehead against mine. He still held me close to him and I held him close to me. He moves his head and rests it in my neck, his lips pressed into it. I close my eyes and caress this moment we had together, "I want you, Jackson," I whispered in his ear.