"Whoa, Milly! What the hell happened to you?" Heather said worried as I entered the school.

I laughed nervously, "Just had a little bit of an accident, but it's fine. I'm fine." I had my crutches. Mrs Reed was kind enough to go get them for me before school. I woke up extra early today. I didn't want to face Jax... I couldn't.

Just the thought of seeing Jax made my heart beat double time. I felt like I was reliving that part of my life...reliving the accident. It freaked me out. I was supposed to just forget about that time. I had locked it away and kept it hidden so than I didn't need to face it...I could try and move on.

But Jax...him seeing it has completely unlocked it. Now it's forced me to face it. But maybe I don't have to? It's not like Jax will be a part of my life forever? I'll be moving away to New York after school, leaving everyone here behind...including Jax.

I took deep breaths as I went to my first class. I was fine. I felt numb. I wanted to escape. I wanted to leave this world for a bit. Just for a moment. Then a thought came to mind.

"Pssst...Heather," I whispered.

She was sitting next to me writing in her notebook when she turned to me.

"Is there any party going on tonight?" I asked.

She looked at for a minute and blinked as if she didn't hear right, "Are you being serious right now?"

I laughed quietly, "Yeah, is there?"

"Umm...Yeah. Bobby is throwing one. Wait...are you actually wanting to come?"

I nodded my head, "Yeah! Last night was fun," I lied, "I want to go out and do something else now."

Heather's eyes switched from excitement to one of concern, "Are you sure, Milly? I mean, do you think you should rest? You're hip is all fucked up still, isn't it?"

I sighed exasperatedly, "Yeah, but who gives a fuck! I can still party with crutches!"

Heather slowly nodded her head, "Okay. I'll pick you up tonight then."

I smiled and nodded my head. I sighed in relief. Tonight I wanted to let go. I didn't want to be Milly tonight. I want to be someone else. And that's exactly what I'm gonna get.

Jax didn't come to school which I was thankful for. I didn't want to face him. I didn't want to look at the guy that's undone all my hard work on keeping my past at bay. I don't really remember how my day went. All I was thinking about was tonight.

After school, Heather dropped me home. Jax's car wasn't there thank goodness. I went up stairs and took a shower. I let my hair dry naturally as I was tidying my room...making it completely perfect.

Once it was tidy I could relax. I went the bathroom to put some more cream on my hip. I sat there on the toilet while letting the cream do it's soothing magic. I leaned back and closed my eyes. I filled my lungs with air and released it, hoping it would relax me more. But sadly I felt just as stressed as I did before. Yay.

It had been a couple of hours and Jax still hasn't come home. I wonder he's doing? Probably wanting to get away from me.

I had just finished getting ready when I heard the honking of the horn. I didn't go to crazy. I wore some cute light blue jeans with a crop top and my hair in a messy bun. Mainly because I couldn't be bothered doing my hair. I wasn't going to this party to impress...I was going because I didn't want to be myself for a night.

I took my crutches and went out to the car. Heather and to my surprise...Remi was int he drivers seat. When I got a closer look at Heather I knew why. She was already drunk off her face.

"Hey bitch!" She screamed.

"Ssshhh! Mr and Mrs Reed are inside!" I said in a hushed tone.

Heather giggles and whispers, "Hey Bitch..."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. I got in the back seat. Remi winks at me through the review mirror, "What's up, hot stuff."

I smiled, "Hey Remi."

"What happened to you last night? We were looking for you for a while. Next thing I hear, you've got crutches."

I felt guilty for leaving them like that. I should've contacted Heather or Bobby sooner, "I'm really sorry, Remi. I wasn't thinking straight."

Remi grins and gives me another wink, "Don't worry about it babe."

"Ohhh, shes 'babe' now? Seriously, Miller, on the drive home, Remi would not shut up about you!"

"Ooookay, that's enough, Heather!" Remi quickly intervened the conversation.

I felt my cheeks heat up as we were pulling up at the party. The party was already packed. People were everywhere.

We got out and headed inside. Heather ran into the dance floor screaming. I laughed at how crazy she was.

Remi leans in a shouts over the music, "Want a drink?"

"Please!" I said relieved.

We went to the kitchen and he got me a drink. I smiled at him thankfully. I threw my head back and jugged down the whole damn cup.

Remi looked at me wide eyed, "Well shit." Was all he said.

I laughed and raised my cup, "Another?"

"As you wish, Madame." Remi said with a smirk. He came back with my cup filled as well as two shots.

My eyes widen in joy. All I saw was my ticket to escape in the swirling ripples in my shot. Remi raises his shot to me and we clinked. I threw my head back and let the burning sensation run down my throat. I didn't drink much, so that shot alone already has my mind buzzing a little.

"Where's you're brother?" I asked.

"He's away with our dad. Our grandmother needed help moving some shit around, so Lawrence and my dad travelled down to her to help her out."

"That is so sweet!" I don't know why but that was the sweetest thing I've ever heard at that moment.

I looked at the bottle of rum behind me, I felt tempted to take another swig.

"You wanting another shot?" Remi asked a little wearily.

I frowned at him, "You have a problem with that?"

Remi stares at me for a moment and said, "No, it's just that you don't seem like the type to drink a lot."

"I don't drink often."

Remi looks at me closely, "So you're drinking for a reason then?"

"Look, I came here for a good time. You're kind of ruining that with all of these questions."

He gives me a knowing look as if he recognised something in me, "You wanting to let go for the night then huh? Escape?"

I took a sip of my cup, "I don't think that's any of your business."

He laughs and raises his hands in surrender, "You're right, it's none of my business. But, from my experience, you'll probably regret 99% of the things you'll do tonight."

I shrug, "Yeah but you're thinking about tomorrow. I'm thinking about right now. And all I wanna do is have fun."

Remi nods his head understandingly.

A random guy appears in front of me, obviously drunk, he gives me a flirty smile, "Well aren't you a snack."

I giggled and opened my mouth to reply, but Remi answered for me, "Beat it, Sam. She's off limits."

Sam shrugs and walks off.

I glare at Remi, "Why did you do that?"

"Sam is a complete dickhead. You don't want to hook up with a guy like that."

"You're not my brother! You can't just tell a guy to back off! You were right! I want to escape! So just let me do that!" I yelled over the music.

Remi glares at me. He leans back against the counter, crossing his arms and sighs, "You want to escape? Fine Iets make a deal."

I tilted my head curiously, "I'm listening."

"You won't wanna just start hooking up with random fuckwits in this place. Trust me, you'll regret it. However, what if you just hung out with the one person tonight, who's safe for you. Someone you can get drunk with, get high with, dance with, without any worry of something bad happening to you?"

"I-I mean that would be ideal, but who would I do that with? Heather is already drunk off her face, so she won't be a safe option."

Remi smiles. He steps back and raises his arms, presenting himself to me.

My brows raise, "You?"

"Duh. I'll kinda be like you're big brother for the night. We can just have fun together."

I eyed him suspiciously, "Why would you do that?"

Remi stares at me for a moment before saying, "Maybe you're not the only one who wants to escape. Might as well use it to our advantage."

I took a moment to think about it. I mean, it was a good deal. I liked it. And I liked Remi, he seemed cool and sweet.

I nodded my head, "Deal."

Remi smiles widely, "Great."

I didn't realise how close we were. Remi's eyes flickered down to my lips, he grabs my waist and pulls me forward, my hands resting on his chest. He leans in and kisses me. Our lips dancing together. But I don't know what it was...it just felt...strange.

We both pushed back from each other. Both of our faces scrunched disdain, both of us shaking our heads.

"Let's not do that again." I said.

"Agreed. That was fucking weird."

We both burst out laughing. He pours us another shot and we drank it in, welcoming the intoxicating burn that fumed my mind.

Remi picks me up, leaving my crutches in the kitchen and walks me to the dance floor when the perfect song comes on.

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Remi hold me up by my waist and we swirl around together. Heather screams and joins us, "Yuzz! You guys finally hit the dance floor!"

We laughed and danced with each other while singing the lyrics like we were on stage at the concert.

***

"Okay but are you sure you want to do this?" Remi looks at me in the eye to make sure.

I giggled, "Yes! How many times do I have to say yes! Give me that shit!" Remi laughs and hands the bong to me.

He lights it up and I fully inhale a big fuck load of vape. It was an instant reaction. It felt like my mind was flying. Mixed with the strong alcohol in my system, I felt like a fucking superhero.

"That shit hit different from the first time."

"You've had this before?" Remi asked in shock.

I nodded my head, "Yeah, Jax and I hit it with the blunt."

Remi freezes, "Jax? As in Rampage Jax?"

I smiled at the memory. My thoughts go to Jax. I wonder what he was doing. It was weird...the more I thought about him...the more horny I got. The desire to feel his skin against mine was overwhelming.

"Whoa, you totally zoned out!" Remi laughed, "What the fuck were you thinking about?"

I giggled and blushed, "Thinking about how fucking horny I am right now."

Remi burst out laughing, "Shit, Milly!" His eyes zone to my lips, "I could take care of that for you?"

He smashes his lips into mine. I gripped his hair and kiss him back. I felt our lips molding together. I wanted to run my fingers through his blonde hair. I froze...Remi isn't blonde. The more I kiss Remi, the more I think about what it would be like to kiss Jax.

We both lean back away from each other. Remi shook his head, "Why does it feel so fucking weird! My dick literally shrunk back."

I frowned, "I'm sorry I'm so fucking ugly to you!" I shouted.

Remi laughs and shakes his head, "No! That's not what I meant! It just feels like I'm kissing my sister!"

I felt my eyes well up in tears, "That is so fucking sweet. You see me as your sister?" I wipe my tears away, "You're the best fucking brother I've ever fucking had."

Remi's eyes well up in tears, "You're the best fucking sister ever. I'm so glad we're siblings!" He pulls me into a hug.

Heather cries as she watches us, "This is the cutest brother sister moment I've ever witnessed."

***

I could hardly use my crutches without falling over. A guy appears, he picks me up and smirks down at me, "You're all over the place babygirl! Need me to take care of you?"

I frowned when I don't recognise his face, "Your face isn't the face I've seen before. Because I've seen all the faces, but not yours. I don't think my brother will want this."

"What the fuck do you think you're with my fucking sister you disgusting pig!" Remi comes, his eyes and hair blazing.

The guy frowns, "I have this girl, go get your own."

I gasped, "I am not a fucking object!"

Remi yells, "Yeah she's not a fucking object you fucking dickhead! Let my sister go!"

The guy hands me over to Remi and Remi sits me down on a stool, "You keep your ass on that stool! I need to go take a piss." He leaves me there.

I sit there and laugh at all the people stumbling around everywhere. But my laugh slowly dies down. I shook my head. What the fuck am I doing? Why am I even asking that fucking question. You wanted to be here, Milly. This was our choice. You have no one to blame but yourself, dumb bitch.

I nodded my head, "Dumb bitch indeed."

Water...I need a water. Remi comes back laughing, but he soon turns serious when he sees my face, "What you need, Milly?"

"Water." I said with a dry throat.

Remi leaves and quickly comes back with a glass of water. I wash it down my throat. I groan as I felt my body soak in the moisture.

I felt my mind clear up. I hadn't drunken anything for the past hour. Having that water seemed to have cleansed my mind as well as my throat.

"I think I need to go home now."

"Alright, little girl, party time is over for you." Remi picks me up and carries me to his car. Heather follows, holding my crutches.

As we were driving home, Remi and Heather got into an argument about who was the better Spider-Man. Me? I felt my high coming down low...very low. It scared me. I didn't really think of the low part.

When we got to my house I brought my crutches with me and shuffled out the car.

"You need help, going up the stairs?" Heather asked.

I smiled, "No. I'll be okay. Thanks for tonight, Remi. I had a lot of fun."

Remi salutes me, "Next time you need another partner in crime...text me." He gives me a wink before driving off with a frustrated Heather. Remi thought Toby Maguire was the best Spider-Man where is Heather thought Andrew Garfield was the better looking one.

I went inside the house and slowly made my way up the stairs. I went to my room and sat on my bed. I didn't turn on the lights. I just sat there, Still. In the dark. In the quiet.

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I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"You better watch your back. When I get out, because I will get out, I'm gonna find you. And I'm gonna fucking kill you. It'll be my little surprise for you. The grand fucking finale of your miserable life."

I look out the window. I wanted to see the stars. But there were none. I took my jeans off and felt my hip. My mutilated hip. It was a reminder of his promise. I can't escape his promise.

I grabbed my water bottle and gulped down water. I wiped my mouth as I felt my heart rate increase. With shaky hands I fumbled around with my handbag. I grabbed my pills and popped one inside.

I leaned back against the wall and took deep breaths. I need a shower. I got up and grabbed my towel. I left my crutches in my room as I limped the short distance to the bathroom.

I opened the door. I gasped in a fright, the first thing I saw was red, "Oh my-Jax?" My towel drops from my hand. He sat there, against the wall. His bong, smashes on the ground, his arms were covered in deep cuts.

I rushed to him, I felt the glass cutting parts of my feet, but I didn't care. I fell to my knees beside him, "Oh my gosh, Jax! What'v you done!"

His eyes were zoned out, they were glazed over as if he wasn't even there. I grabbed the towel and wrap it around his arms.

"Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. OH MY GOSH!" With shaky hands I grabbed my phone to dial the ambulance. But it was dead, "SHIT!" I shouted.

I grabbed the first aid kit under the sink. I open it up. And grab all the shit I think that I need. I unwrap the blood soaked towel. I grabbed a wet cloth and wiped all the dried up and cracked blood from the wounds.

With shaky hands I grabbed the antiseptic and pour it over the wounds. Jax doesn't even flinch. He just sit there, frozen in his mind.

"Jax? Please answer me! Jax, can you hear me?" I asked breathlessly. I grabbed thick gauze and wrap it around his forearms.

The bleeding began to slow. I sighed in relief when the wounds were at least wrapped. I need to go tell Mrs Reed and then find a phone to call the ambulance.

"Why're you helping me?"

My head snaps up to see he was staring directly at me. I gulped, "Jax you're...you've hurt yourself. Of course I'm going to help you. Just wait here, I'll get help."

I was about to get up when his hand holds mine, "Why are you helping me?" He asks again, "I've been nothing but an asshole to you. You don't make sense to me."

I look down at his wrapped arms. The red seeping through slowly, "You are an asshole," I agreed, I look back up at him, "But I don't see you as pure evil. You're still a person Jax. That means you still deserve to have help," I look at the open bathroom door, "Now wait here. I need to get you help." I went to get up on shaky legs when Jax tightened his hold on my hand.

"Stay." Was all he said. His eyes were focused on me.

"I need to tell someone, Jax. Debra, the ambulance. You need somebody."

"I need you to stay here with me," Was all he said, "Don't tell them. I'm not dead, so they don't need to know."

I gulped and hesitantly sat back down, my nerves still anxious to go get help. He looked so pale. We just sat there in silence for a few moments. The air felt heavy on our shoulders, my heart still labouring hard to pump blood through my body.

"I was gonna do it." He said a little quietly, I listened closely as he continued, "But I thought...that was too easy. I deserve to live this life. It will be my punishment."

I didn't know what to say. What do you say to someone like that? Someone so hopeless.

"Why do you want to punish yourself?" I asked softly.

"Because of what I did."

I gulped. I moved closer. His hand still holding mine. His thumb was stroking it. He looked so empty. Like a shell. He looked so lost. Like a little boy who doesn't know who he was. I raised my hand and cupped his cheek.

"I don't know what you did. You don't have to tell me. But, Jax...we've all done horrible things. Things that we want to run away from...but that doesn't mean there isn't hope left."

His eyes snap to mine. I stroke his cheek with my thumb, "You don't get it," He said, "What I did...it was so bad."

"There is always hope. Every second your're alive, every second you breathe that's called hope because as long as you are alive, the hope for a better future is alive as well. That future is yours, Jackson."

Jax sighs and closes his eyes. His head leans into my hand. Tears fall down my cheek. What a mess. We are such a mess.

He stays in that position for a while. He moves his head and my breath hitches when he runs his lips over my palm. I gulped. His eyes were still closed and his shoulders were still relaxed.

"Come on," I said, "Let's get your to bed."

We both get up. As I get up, I hiss in pain as I felt stinging underneath my feet. I forgot about the glass. Jax immediately picks me up, "No Jax! You're arms!" I said, trying to get out, but he only tightens his hold as he walks me to his room.

He sat me on my bed. He goes back to get the first aid kit and sits on a chair in front of us. He grabs my foot and props it up on his leg. He grabs some tweezers and picks out the pieces of glass stuck in my foot.

His eyes were still puffy, his brows drawn together in concentration. We didn't say anything to each other. What is there to even say? It was a messy night for the both of us.

He silently picks out the glass from each foot. My eyes are drawn to his wrapped arms. I can't believe he almost did it. The longer I stay in this house, the more I see the real Jax and I realise he was a completely different person to what people see him as. I feel like it wasn't just about his father being an abusive asshole...there was more to his story.

And I'm sure he thinks that same about me. We both didn't expect me to have a full blown panic attack, him helping me and putting me to bed. We both didn't expect me to have arrived just on time to help him tonight and clean his self-inflicted cuts. And now he's taking glass out of my feet. We were helping each other without even realising it.

Jax wraps my feet up. The he stands up an begins to take his sweatpants off.

My eyes widen and my cheek heat up, "Ummm....what're you doing?"

Jax doesn't answer. He climbs around me and flops into bed. I silently stand up until I felt his hand on my good hip. I still. I look over my shoulder and see his eyes closed.

I bit my lower lip. I slowly lean back and lay down next to him. His eyes still closed. His muscled arm circle around me. My breath hitches when he pulls me against him. My back flush against his front. His arm was tightly secured around my waist as if he wasn't necessarily hanging on to me, but hanging on to something that doesn't make him feel alone. And maybe that's why I stayed too...because I didn't want to be alone either...not after tonight.

I snuggled closer and inhaled his scent. My body relaxes as we hold on to each other.