The video above made me question so many things, I can't tell you. But the main question is, can children below 13 or even 14 be trusted when it comes to deciding their sexuality?

Before saying anything more, I'd like to clarify that this is not to spread hate nor do I have any personal grudge against the boy who's name is Evan and identifies as non binary according to his mother. I also do not want to be hateful to his mother either despite how some of her actions worry me.

Evan is an I think 7 or 8 years old autistic child and his journey of exploring his 'sexuality' is out in the open on tiktok and YouTube. By the looks of it, I think Evan is a great child and absolutely amazing and children are in general adorable and his little quirks indeed are.

He has two siblings, a brother and sister. They are all adopted and all of them are special children and when I do think about it, it's very courageous of their mother to have adopted them and given them a home, care and love as a parent.

So, now that is cleared, we'll turn back to the question and my opinion about it.

LGBTQ+ movement is a good cause without a doubt and I've always been open about my own sexuality and support for the movement. However, as good as it is there are bad sides to it like how industrialists try to do their best to attract customers during pride month by changing their logos, slogans and what not. Similarly, there have been cases where people are forced to lie about their sexuality to be able to support the community because apparently a straight person can't support LGBTQ community which is kinda dumb.

But this isn't about that. This is about how early can a person truly determine their sexual orientation.

I remember when I was 7 or 8, I used to think shaving beard is really cool since I used to like see my dad doing it everyday before he went to work. So, one day I decided, I wanted to shave my beard.

Like I had seen my dad doing, I put the cream on my face and started shaving. I mean, I must have been a genius to think that a pre pubescent girl can have a beard but anyways, in the name of coolness I did it and I got a cut on my chin.

The next thing I know is getting scolded by my dad for using sharp objects while he cleaned my wound and my mother was laughing at my antiques. I remember it so clearly, I'm astonished. But anyho, I'm pretty sure I'm not the only person in the world who did this.

Then comes my brother who is even more active in the weird world. But I think I might be partially responsible for that.

So, what happened is, I wanted a sister but I got a brother instead. A few years later when he's old enough to walk, I dress him up as a girl and take his pics while my mother still laughs at our antiques. It didn't happen many times, only twice I think but I had fun dressing him up in my frocks and my mom's dupattas draped like a saree.

Later when he got a little more older, he himself raided my closet and wore my clothes for fun. He has even tried makeup and nailpolish and all the jazz girls do, you know and my parents let him do it.

In fact they let me do whatever I wanted to do too. I had these phases, yk, like extremely girly then extremely boyish and now I'm more of a chic gender neutral but going according to occasion and mood type of person.

During all this development of me and my brother who is 13 this year, sexuality was not the concern. It was not a term we used in daily life nor did we or my parents care because that is not our priority at this stage of life.

What we went through was a natural process of growing up. Being curious and trying it out before deciding what best suits us. It was a gradual process and in that sense I think we were lucky that our parents were open minded enough and gave us that freedom to make decisions for ourselves without forcing their views on us. Because I know what my parents think about LGBTQ. They'll accept it for others but they might not accept it when it comes to their children only because they are afraid that we will not have good, respectful lives and I completely understand their concerns. It's what any parent thinks unless they are cut out different.

I can't speak about my brother when it comes to sexuality because he is still young and his immediate concern is related to anime and video games which is quite a healthy mind set for a boy his age. And I do believe he will be a weeb for the rest of his life and might marry a life size doll of Eren Yegar (idk if I spelt that right. I'm not an aot fan, spare me).

Anyways, coming back to what prompted me to write this is my own journey of exploration and what is going on with Evan. Evan definitely likes to wear girly clothes and that's completely fine. Children should definitely be allowed to wear what they want and from my personal experience with my parents, it builds a healthy relationship between parents and children.

What makes me concerned about Evan is that why the hell is a kid of 7 or 8 thinking about sexuality when he should be having a blast going to school and wrecking havoc in the backyard, getting dirty and all those things.

I believe everything has a time. Similarly there is a time for a child when they are really able to understand what sexuality means. Before that time their childhood should be untainted and only be about building their confidence, giving them education and making them able enough mentally and physically to take care of themselves and how to treat others. By talking about sexuality with such young children we are not only making them think that this is all life is about but we are also leading to them thinking about sex, which they will wonder naturally at some point and seek to know about it from the wrong resources.

What people need to understand is that 7 is not an age to teach a child about sex and sexuality. It is an age of developing their motor skills and letting them have pure, unadulterated fun without the barriers of gender and race and stuff that adults think a lot about.

Parents are supposed to let children explore on their own, not tell them that oh, you are a girl or a boy or non binary just from how they dress or talk or walk. Children will always, always try to copy their parents in that age be it wearing heels or shoes and that doesn't mean you have to put the kid in a fixed shell. Why can't the child be just a child? Why put a label on them and bring in the whole burden that they will have to carry once they are old enough.

So, coming back to my initial question, I think it's not necessary to always put a label to what you do. And if you are putting a label just to be in the trend and forget what actual life is, it's not healthy. A child should be left alone as they are and should not be influenced by parents in any way when it comes to sexuality because honestly, it's irrelevant at that age.

I'm turning 21 this year and I can assure you that I did not think about sexuality until I was 18 because till then it wasn't relevant to my reality. Whatever circumstances I have been under, I've always just lived my life without overthinking it and the last two years that I was active on social platforms, I have noticed that kids who have just hit puberty think a lot about issues that are not relevant to thier reality.

Like I said, there's a time for everything. For some people it's early and for some it is late but being influenced to change who you are is not entirely healthy either.

So my request to whoever is reading this is that, stop overthinking about issues that are not going to help you with your education, future and a good life if you are still in school or University like me. The time till you turn 25 is really really important to waste it on obsessing over things that won't help you secure your future.

When it comes down to sexuality and knowing yourself, I'd say give it an hour of your day but after that, please, think about all you have to achieve in your life, about how much efforts your parents are taking for your education and to give you everything they couldn't have.

And I also think, that if you are reading this you are already privileged enough and so, you should focus more on building your future rather than chasing something that is not necessary for you at this particular time. The time to chase those things will come one day and that day, no one will be able to stop you but till then, be focused and be aware and don't be influenced just in the name of being in the flow and trend. Trends and flow sucks, bro.

That's it for today! I have exams coming up but seeing that video just triggered me enough to write this and I could not just stop because I really wanted to share this as someone who has been through the whole journey and at the end of it I've realised what's important for me in my life and what I have to do. And I just hope this helps you a little bit to be better and also think about what's important in your life.

-love, appi ❤️