Jazzy1983 Wandering With You

Title: 5/5 

The title of this book is romantic, whimsical, and fits with the cover and the blurb that accompanies the story. It is perfectly appropriate for either chick-lit or romance, and is the sort of title that would inspire others to pick the book up off the shelf. My only concern is originality. It seems like it might be the sort of title that's out there already. Originality and endeavouring to be one-of-a-kind is key with choosing a title.

Blurb: 9/10 

Everything that's listed after the divider is something that doesn't belong in a blurb. In general, all awards, highest rankings, quotes, reviews, etc. should be put inside the book, as the blurb should focus only on the story itself. The best blurbs are clean, marketable, and hit the three points that should be covered in a blurb: introduction of the main characters, introduction of the conflict, and providing the reader with a hook to inspire further reading. These are tackled quite well. The only real flaw is the consistent length of the sentences, using multiple commas and clauses. It makes the writing stronger in a blurb to alternate sentence length. Some of those sentences with multiple commas and em-dashes can be easily separated. As a result, the blurb will look less daunting to the eye.

Cover: 4/5 

There's an old-fashioned Harlequin Romance feel to the cover of the book, and though it's visually appealing, the figures seem like a couple from a steamy period romance, set above the picture of the mountain that speaks of their journey. The trouble with manip covers is that they have to be seamless if you're going to join elements that look as if they belong on a variety of different book covers. Otherwise, you'll regularly lose a point or two for the cover being a bit "too much". I'm afraid that may be the case here.

Plot: 18/20 

If you're a fan of this genre, this story is very naturally appealing. It has all the hallmarks of a strong chick-lit piece. The story features a strong female MC learning to find her own sense of independence through traveling the world when her boyfriend turns out to be a horrible person. The romantic subplot is almost irrelevant, as it should be in chick-lit, even though it's cute. The story is her story, one of personal growth and a claiming of self-reliance earned the hard way. It's a compelling plot, one I'd find worthy of a spot on my reading list.

Characterisation: 18/20 

The character work and dialogue in this story is strong, enhanced only by a penchant for descriptive writing that brings the characters who make the story what it is to life. There are moments when the characters don't necessarily seem multi-faceted, but then they find a way to surprise you and to grow. Most stories, it's clear whether it's the plot or the characters that move things along and keep the reader turning the pages. In this instance, it's very much equal, and that's a balance many writers never find.

Creativity/Originality: 7/10 

This was by far the weakest category for you, and I'm not sure that it's one that can be rectified. It's merely a casualty of the story you want to tell in this particular genre, and of all the genres, I think Chick-Lit is next to only Teen Fiction when it comes to relying on tropes and cliches. You do a good job subverting them and making your story your own, but you only get halfway there. No matter how well-written or how enjoyable the story, I still see three entries with the same basic plot and basic characters in each contest. It's likely surprising for many people to know that I am a fan of chick-lit (I'm a writer of the darker side of fiction) and I find it very enjoyable when well-done. The struggle to make it an original work of literature while still remaining a genre piece is a difficult thing. Your story is far more well-executed than others, but if there is any way to make this story unforgettable and unlike others of its kind, finding it will make it a winning book.

Spelling/Grammar: 15/15 

Whether you have a sharp editor or just a natural eye for grammar issues, this is likely the cleanest manuscript of the bunch. Spelling mistakes simply aren't there, and the grammar/punctuation errors I found are more advanced issues. (Be aware of those commas!) .I'm not the sort of judge who'll destroy a book over grammar issues. However, the errors tend to jump out as very obvious when you have a mostly clean manuscript, and it goes to readability. Kudos on the work put into editing and editing your work, and keep it up! If I have any suggestions on this front, it's to cut back on using ellipsis and em-dashes. They serve a purpose but too many can make your work seem less well-written than it is.

Enjoyability: 5/5

You have a new fan in me. While your concept may not be the most original I've come across, there's something about your writing style and the way you bring a world to life without being heavy-handed that is just likeable. Your writing is intelligent, your grammar is superior, and you don't fall into the trap of "writing down" to an audience because you know younger readers may be attracted to your story. The competition in almost all categories of this contest is intense. The number of entries that have been featured, Wattys short-listed, or received other impressive honours and a crazy amount of reads takes this contest to another level. In most other contests, this would be a winning entry. You just happened to compete against a few authors who are slightly more polished and experienced. Give it time and a bit of hard work, and you'll go much farther than you already have with this book.

Literary Devices: 4/5

Your writing style is descriptive without relying on literary devices. You build the world and describe the action via dialogue and very specific word choice, and I personally think that's a valid style that's well-suited for the genre. There's no need to employ literary devices if they serve little purpose but to inflate your word count, though throwing in a bit of simile, metaphor, and other devices that bring your characters and dialogue to life might spice it up a bit.

Descriptive Writing: 4/5 

You have a very natural way of using descriptive writing to enhance your story without calling too much attention to it. You don't overload your prose with verbs or modifiers. Those you choose carry a lot of weight and go a long way toward character development and world-building. You have the type of descriptive writing style that's clean and natural. As remarked above, you could enhance your descriptive writing as chapters go on by adding more literary devices. Also, the use of "sense" words goes a long way towards lifting the audience into your world. Job well done!

Total: 89/100