Do y'all remember that break I took from Wattpad, because my laptop died? 

Well, I got a new laptop two months ago. 

And randomly, out of nowhere, it suddenly has decided to die. 

This means that I am currently working entirely from mobile! If I am slow to respond, or there are many, many typos in the feedback, please forgive me. 

Anyways!

This has been such a gripping set of stories. Despite everyone choosing the same prompt of the golden rose, I have been so mesmerised by each story. Each one told a different tale, a different lesson, and showed such a different interpretation to the theme of gold. Thank you so much for that!

Because I am on mobile... no fancy banners. I'm sorry. :(( 

But here is the shortlist in no particular order!

SHORTLISTED BOOK: 

TITLE: The Rose Who Speaks 

AUTHOR: A_Raging_Shipper

FEEDBACK: 

This had such a clever concept! At first, when the rose speaks, you really think it's quite cute and surprising, but then it becomes a bit darker with its own true intentions. You immediately feel for the protagonist, who is young and feels very sweet and misguided; with the child being in shock over her parents' divorce, it's no surprise she's easily led by the rose's voices. I love what a realistic reaction she had to the rose, too, bombarding it with questions. 

The rose becoming a bad influence and getting in the way of her friendship with Alexis was subtle, and I like the way it was overcome. I would just advise you to watch out for your grammar and punctuation. You have a few run-on sentences, incorrect usage of semicolons, and a lot of tense changes that don't feel very fluent. Good work, overall!

SHORTLISTED BOOK: 

TITLE: Elysian 

AUTHOR: _Navier_170

FEEDBACK: 

I will not lie, you absolutely hit my sweet spot when it came to the concept of your story. Stories about other living other lives and still running into similar fates always intrigue me, and yours was nothing short of compelling! I loved that epilogue so much, with the repetition of the same scene, and I loved that twist of her killing him and being cursed. There was a lot of effective contrast in your story, from kissing, to talk of killing and death, then kissing again -- it felt very surreal and seductive, overall, as a story.

You also had very pretty use of metaphors, and I loved the constant symbolism of the tides. Personally, I would have loved more setting of the environment surrounding the story -- just so that we can feel Saem's familiarity and the surrealism of it all through the atmosphere. Also watch out for your punctuation, because you were making some errors with punctuating dialogue throughout your story.

SHORTLISTED BOOK: 

TITLE: The Golden Rose

AUTHOR: booklover311921

FEEDBACK: 

This was the first time I have ever read my name inside a book. What a weird feeling!

Onto the story, I loved the cyclical nature of the two sisters coming up with the 'cure' together, and then the future being about the two twins potentially trying to reverse this. I loved their conflicting opinions, and more so, the emails from the unknown redacted person genuinely gave me absolute chills. 

The email structure of a lot of your story was simply excellent. It was gripping, and helped introduce the reader to the conflict really well. I also loved that final twist with who '+' really was. However, the end just felt too quick -- I couldn't really set the scene, see where I was, or feel the intensity of the moment. I felt a bit lost as to what Alexia really wanted and the mention of her grandfather, because I feel like it wasn't foreshadowed anywhere. Perhaps consider slipping in antagonistic forces they will have to face a bit earlier in the story? 

Okay! Those were the shortlisted stories! And here is our runner up... 

RUNNER UP: 

TITLE: Gold 

AUTHOR: melaniabay

FEEDBACK: 

Such a different style compared to your last story, and I loved it. I loved the last one, too, of course, but there was a certain magic and nostalgia in this piece. It's a beautiful letter to a child about to be born, with some humour and whimsical love in it. This is such a stylistic and impressive choice -- I loved some of the language used, especially the imagery of two people being drawn together by this golden thread. The recurring theme of the gold was excellent, and the final sentence about the bladder kick, while it felt a little odd and snapped away that flowery nature to the piece, it did make me laugh.

I think there was just a sentence or two that felt a little odd to me, and could potentially use revising because they didn't read very fluently. This was one example: 

While he was engrossed in his explanation of Goldschlager, my tongue appreciated the taste of cinnamon in my drink and my eyes, the golden specks in his warm gaze. 

With the punctuation marks where they are, it almost makes it sound like she also appreciate the 'taste of cinnamon' in her eyes. I'd revise that. 

And our winner...

WINNER: 

TITLE: All the Gold in the World 

AUTHOR: avadel

FEEDBACK: 

I cannot fault your writing or your characterisation. Even our protagonist feels somewhat flawed -- with bitterness in her -- but you just feel for her so much, despite her rather cold tone of voice in her narration. That dinner table scene had me completely tense, despite the fact that they should have just been eating steak and chilling out. Your writing is beautiful, your quick demonstration of how the characters feel and why they feel that way is stunning, and all your descriptions are just mesmerising. 

My main critique is that I wish there was more of a build-up to the end. I don't necessarily mean more of a spar of words between the two sisters, but I mean that I wish the ending happened more purposefully. Perhaps this is a very me thing, but the 'while we sit here and rot' comment had come out by accident, and it led to everything else that was said and done. Personally, considering the bitterness I had seen in the protagonist throughout the whole story, I wanted a more intentional and purposeful remark made by her -- one that feels smug after she's spent some of her earlier remarks feeling a tingle in her chest. 

Otherwise, this is simply great. As always, love your work. 

AND THAT'S A WRAP! I'll be getting up the next theme and prompts in... hopefully five minutes? Once my phone allows me to upload pictures? Woohoo!