Robbie watched as the entire family squeezed themselves onto the chairs and sofa.  Daddy Kay was in the easy chair.  Chloe, Drake, and Fee Fee were squished together on the love seat.  Granny Kay was left standing because there was nowhere else available.  Gilmore was still in one of the chairs with apparently no intention of budging.  Robbie popped Gilmore on the shoulder.  "Get up and let Granny Kay sit there."

Gilmore rolled his eyes.  "Why can't she sit on the floor?"

"Because that's where you're sitting so move it." Robbie looked over the other kids.  Brodie, Thobert and Andy were sitting nice with their legs folded. He nodded in approval.  Bribery does make a good kid, he thought. 

Daddy looked at his kids.  "So, how are you little fuckers doing?"

"Good." The kids said together.  Sometimes threats worked too.

"Daddy," Robbie leaned over to Daddy Kay.  "Can you not call my kids little fuckers?"

Daddy laughed.  "Give me a break, I bet you call them that all the time."

Andy gasped.  "How did you know that? He does, he does and so does Da--"

"Okay!" Robbie cut him off, embarrassed.  "How's everybody doing, good? Would anybody like anything?"

"Can I get some water?" Fee Fee asked while squirming in the sofa.

"I'll take a Scotch on the rocks." Daddy said.

"Margarita!" Granny Kay demanded.

"Rum and Coke." said Drake.

Robbie looked at him and scoffed.  "Are you serious?"

"Yeah, since you're offering."

Now Robbie was kicking himself.  If he got the drinks that meant that he would risk leaving the kids alone with these people.  Last time he left his kids alone with a group that group tried to file a lawsuit claiming extreme abuse. Brodie cut off all the hair on one woman. Thobert bit almost everybody.  Andy tried to hump somebody's leg. He didn't know what Gilmore did but that person needed therapy. As much as his Daddy, Granny and sister drove him nuts, he couldn't put them through that cruelty.

"Gilmore," Robbie said.  "Why don't you get your auntie, your grandparents, and the neighborhood mooch over here some refreshments?"

Gilmore snorted.  "Are you sure you want me doing that? Remember the last time I did that?"

Crap! Those people ended up in the ER.  Whatever Gilmore put in their drinks will forever be a mystery.  "Brodie, Thobert, why don't you get them instead?"

Brodie and Thobert jumped up, glad to do something that was grown up.  Little Andy jumped up also.  "I wanna help too.  You never let me help."

Brodie pointed at him.  "That's cause you're a screw up."

"Am not!" Andy jumped and screamed.

"Are too." Brodie challenged.

"Am not!

"Are too, you little punk!"

Robbie lost his patience.  "Oh will you two shut the fuck up!" He realized that everybody was looking at him.  "I mean, you little angels run along and get everybody those drinks now, heh heh."

The boys went into the kitchen.  There were some crashing sounds and a lot of "oops, my bad" but eventually the three boys came out carrying the drinks on a tray.  

"Here you go." Thobert said.  

Daddy took his drink.  "I can't believe you let your kids mix drinks."

"Why not?" Robbie said.  "You taught me when I was four."

As everyone in the room took a drink Andy jumped up.  "Hey," he piped up.   "Guess which drink I peed in?"

Everyone in the room sprayed out their drinks.  Andy giggled.  "I didn't do all of them."

Robbie quickly gathered the boys up.  "Shit, all of you go in the bedroom and watch some movies."

"Can we watch your dirty--"

"No! Go watch Finding Nemo or something." Robbie shooed them up the stairs.  "And stay out of my closet and nightstand!"  He sighed and returned to his delightful family.

"Those damn kids are from the devil." Granny Kay said grimly.  "Straight from hell."

"Yeah," Robbie managed to sit down on a kitchen chair.  "Like I don't know that."

Daddy Kay looked at Chloe, who was sitting on the sofa close to Drake.  "Hello, Chloe, you're looking great for someone that just pushed out a baby."

"Uh, thank you, I guess." Chloe said.  "It wasn't easy."

Daddy pointed at Drake.  "Who is that and why is he sitting so close to your babies' mama, Robbie?"

Robbie tried to think of an answer but drew a blank.  Drake looked at Robbie.  "You wanna tell him or should I?"

"Uhh,"  As Robbie moved closer to Drake he slipped a benjamin in his hand.  

"I'm the babysitter," Drake announced.

"Good." Daddy Kay said.  "Go in that room and babysit those little grandfucks of mine while the Kays have a family visit."

Drake realized too late what he said.  "Damn!" He grudgingly stood and marched up the stairs to the room.

"So where's the new baby?" Daddy said.  "Why isn't she here? It's about time you had a girl.  I was beginning to wonder if you could even make any."

Robbie stood.  "Wendy's in the nursery, I'll get--"

Daddy pointed at Chloe.  "Let Mommy here get the baby."

Chloe, who had been chewing her nails, suddenly jumped to attention.  "What? Oh, yes.  Let me get, uhh. . ."

"Wendy," Robbie said.  "Our baby."

"Right,"  Chloe stood up and went up the stairs.  She turned down one hall, then another, not sure where the nursery was.

"Yes," Robbie said rather loudly.  "Our little Wendy is in her nursery second door on the left."

"Right."  They could hear Chloe stumbling and tripping over the kids' toys and stuff that was probably scattered on the floor.  "Ow, shit." she muttered.  Finally Chloe came back downstairs, carefully holding Wendy out at an arms length.  "Here she is."

"Aww," Daddy stood up and took the baby.  "What a little princess she is."  He bounced Wendy in his arms.  "They should have called you Princess Kay.  You're such a little cutie.  Yes you are."

The baby started to fuss.

"I think she's hungry," Robbie said.

"Is your wife breastfeeding?" Daddy said.

"Of course," Robbie lied.  "Breastfeeding is very important for the baby's growth and development."

They all looked at Chloe who was in the middle of taking a swig from a silver flask.  She stopped and gulped down the booze.  "What?"

Robbie glared at her.  "Should you be drinking while you're nursing the baby?"

Chloe snorted.  "I stopped breastfeeding so I can drink." She took another sip from the flask.  "If you wanna breastfeed her, good luck."

Robbie sighed and got a bottle for Wendy.  He held out the baby and the bottle.  "Does anyone want to feed the baby?"

Nobody moved.

"Well can you feel the love tonight," he said sarcastically.  "Don't you all get up at once.  Allow me."  He sat down and gave Wendy her bottle.  "So how long are you guys staying?"

"If you got anything left in that flask," said Granny Kay.  "Pass it on over here.  I need a good buzz." She pointed at Robbie.  "As soon as you break that news to him he's going to need it also."

"Wait, what?" Robbie said, jumping up.  "What news?"

Daddy laughed.  "Yeah, son, about that. . ."

Son.  Oh no. Whenever Daddy used the word son that meant something that Robbie didn't like.  "What?"

"We're gonna need a place to stay for a while." Daddy said.

Meanwhile Thomas was sitting poolside with an exotic drink that came with an umbrella.

Meanwhile Robbie was trying to drink himself into a coma.