You know what I want?

I really want someone who will give me grand romantic gestures, someone who will play me a song when I'm sad, who will always love me, and who will be really cheesy and sappy. Who will make me blush and make me feel happy, and like I'm good enough.

But I don't think I'll ever find anyone like that. I mean, I wouldn't mind being that person for someone else, but I REALLY want someone to do that for ME.

I do this stuff for the person who I love who probably doesn't love me the way I love them, and I love to see them smile, but they don't do that for me. Because they don't love me like that. They think that we're "best friend soul mates." Well I actually love them. Not just as a best friend. I think I'm in love with them. And they don't feel the same. I can tell.

They're in love with someone else. And I smile and tell them I ship them, and that I love to hear about their relationship, but honestly? It breaks my heart a little. But being with that person makes them happy. And I'd rather have them be happy, because they are a wonderful amazing human being, than have them be miserable with me. Because I am a self-centered bitch who isn't worth the trouble I give people.