I am scared.

I am sad.

I don't know what's happening to me but I just feel.... I don't even know how to explain it properly.
I'll try though.

I feel sad. Extremely sad. Like my soul is being drenched in this emotion and it can't escape it.
I feel like I can't talk to anyone. Not really. I have to be there for them. But every day, the sadness and misery gets worse. It's started to feel like I'm slowly sinking in quicksand crying out for help, and everyone I know is around the sand, with tons of stuff that could pull me out, but they're just watching me. They won't help me, or listen or anything. And eventually, I'll sink. And at this point, I don't know if I want to be saved. I don't know if I want someone to listen, or to help me, or pull me out. I don't know if I ever want to be happy again.

My best friend probably doesn't read this book. Which I guess is good. Because I don't want them to know but at the same time I do.

I'm kinda scared that they'll tell me that I'm just being silly. Or that I'm overreacting. Or even worse, that I'm too clingy and annoying and that I've been replaced.

I already know it will happen. I think it already has. But I also know that I'm expendable. I'm just the person who keeps the friendship spot warm for the real friend. No one actually wants or needs me. I'm just there until someone better comes along.