A/N: The character faceclaims are up in the characters' chapter, guys. Check them out and let me what you think. Is that how you imagine them or differently? And, I also did an entire graphics update in this book from cover to banners. And, moreover, I thank God for helping me to get this chapter out in time than I expected. Enjoy!

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I mute the call and dropped my phone; or, I'd rather say, I threw my phone away and -it landed on the other end of the bed- stared at it with my horror filled eyes as if I was just told that my phone has a hidden bomb in it, waiting to explode at any moment.

Actually in fact, there indeed was a hidden bomb. A human bomb.

What just happened?!

Maybe I heard him wrong; but I'm pretty sure I have no problem with my ears.

Maybe he was telling that to someone there; but that doesn't make any sense since, he said it after calling my name.

Or, maybe he's probably drunken. But he swore to me that he didn't.

I slowly bend across my bed and stretched out my hand to reach to my phone. Not until then did I notice that, it was not just my heart rising and falling rapidly, but my whole body shaking along with it. My knees shook, my fingers trembled, my teeth was automatically gritting itself as if I'm shivering from cold. But this was a lot worse than that.

I panicked even more I as saw that he haven't hung up the call yet. I un-muted the call and brought my phone to my ears, preparing to turn on my actress mode.

"Hello, can you hear me? Hello? Helloo?" I kept saying it, pretending that I don't hear him saying, "Yes, I can hear you. Hailey? Uh, yes hello?"

"Hey, did you hear what I said?" he asked when I got him clearly.

"You were saying? Um, no. I didn't." I said innocently. But there was no cure for my fear and shivering. I remembered the coldest of nights when I couldn't even find myself to talk because of the shivering; and that's how I felt now too. I had to clutch the phone to my ear with both hands, having no firm grip.

"Oh, okay. So, I was saying, I like you and do you like me as I do you?" he asked shamelessly again. I cringed in disgust.

My situation got worse, "Um, sorry? I didn't catch it right. Let me get out to my balcony, I think it's the problem of the connection." I said.

"Okay?" he said, and I didn't miss the unassureness in his voice.

Just as he said okay, I muted the call again. I looked over the screen; today, I'm going to end all of this fuss and I needed the courage from God to do it. I let him stay on mute, thinking it's the connection problem that's making it hard for me to hear him. And just as I was going to end the call finally, I saw it being hung up already, even before I moved my fingers.

My heart skipped a beat. He's going to call back!

I quickly went for the flight mode and turned it on. And at the sight of the connection tower gone, I let out a deep breath I didn't realize I was holding. A huge drama just happened in my life, my very life. If it's worth counting for anything, even my life in mafia was not such a drama, but this... this is going to give me a nightmare for sure.

I was seeing Nott as a friend and a brother, like I see every boy I befriend. But he digusted me! Pure hatred towards him began to fume inside me and all of a sudden, I felt nothing but disgust at his thought.

On the contrary, I felt so free of a bondage but how long am I going to feel it? He said, he and Charlie are coming to our home this Sunday again to visit us before they leave. And if they do, what am I going to do?

I couldn't think of risking to see the man who has disgusted me but how will I escape this?

Maybe I should pretend I'm sick. But what if I'm forced to have medicines for nothing?

Or maybe I should go to grandparents. But everyone knows that I love Charlie so much and wouldn't miss the chance of seeing him and bid a goodbye. But they don't know, there's going to be a pathetic guy with him.

I set my phone aside and ran my hands through my hair. What was Nott thinking? To date me? And marry later? Or to use and throw out? I was barely 14 and he was 30! Did he really thought he can attract a girl twice younger than him to be his? Maybe he was handsome but I can't think of anyone but Rilden in my entire future life.

Rilden.

I remembered Rex's words. Seek God's help. Of course, I did and He helped me to escape a bastard for now and will on the next time too. But I'm just wondering, how?

Don't forget about Rilden. Of course, that one too, I can't think of anyone else than him in my head. But on the same time, I know that there's no way Nott can ever success to capture my heart. Ever. If that's what he's trying to.

And finally, if anything goes wrong, don't hesitate to tell Hax.

I thought for a second. Is that a good choice? I know why Rex told me to tell it to my brother, because she knows the strong bond we both share, especially because she has a wonderful older brother too. But, what bothered me was, how will Haxsel react to this. Deep inside, I know he could help and if I need to avoid seeing Nott again, I can't do it without him knowing.

I took my phone and turned off the flight mode. I decided to see if I can find my brother online on WhatsApp, to know if he's asleep or not. I don't want to bother him with my silly matter, he was having a tired day. I knew that, if Nott sees me online, I'm in trouble again but I took a strong will to ignore him completely instead of showing pity like the first times.

Not to my surprise, there was already three messages of him but I scrolled down to my brother's chat and much to my relief, I found him online.

I hesitated a moment before texting him because I'll have to tell him everything from the beginning and if he gets angry at Nott, I'll have to hold him back, which was probably not the easiest thing in the world.

I closed eyes, Help me God, grant me thy wisdom, I prayed and my fingers tapped on the keyboard.

Not asleep yet?

Baby? You're not asleep yet?

Here I thought you stopped calling me a baby 😒.

You skipped my question.

And you skipped my message too.

You did it first, there's no protest. So tell me.

I can't sleep.

Is it about Emmy again?

I don't know.

Come here.

That's it. That's what I was waiting for my brother to say. I quickly exited from WhatsApp and jumped to my feet after turning my phone to the flight mode again.

I saw my brother on his bed when I entered his room. Shirtless. I used to turn pink whenever I saw him without a shirt at first times but now I was used to it. Seeing me, he set his phone aside and extended a hand to me, that made me run into him.

I climbed to his lap, hugged him, burying my head in his bare chest. I was thankful that he didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around my small back, holding me close. His warm cozy embrace made my lips tremble, oh God, I don't want to cry now.

"Honey," he suddenly pulled his head away from the embrace and tried to look at me, "You're shivering." he said. "Are you sick?" he asked, checking my temp on forehead.

"No," I answered shakily, his comfort was making me almost at the edge of breaking down into sobs.

Haxsel looked panicked, "But, oh my! You're shivering, Hailey! What's wrong?" he asked.

"Did Charlie tell you anything about coming here this Sunday?" I asked him against his chest, not daring to look up at him even though he was trying.

"Don't skip my question, Hailey." he warned me.

"No, I'm trying to get to the point!" I said, and finally pulled myself together to meet his eyes. I saw concern in them, a bit of annoyance -probably at my previous question- and confusion.

"What do you mean?" his eyes narrowed, not at me but at my predator, hopefully.

"Charlie haven't told you?" I asked him even I knew the answer because Nott told me that they just set out the plan some time ago.

"Um, no?" he answered me patiently.

"Okay well, the thing is," I paused to take a huge breath and continued, "Charlie and Nott are coming this Sunday and, and I don't want to see Nott again-" my lips trembled and as I found tears running down my both cheeks, I felt it unable to speak.

"What? How do you know this? Why don't you want to see him again?" my brother asked. "What happened love?"

I wanted to scream that Nott disgusted me, but I couldn't find my voice to speak in between the lump that was in my throat. And finally I managed to force my voice out, "He disgusted me." I said, although I wasn't sure if my brother catch it right.

"He disgusted you?" Haxsel inquired, "How?"

I opened my mouth but closed it as a sob escaped right away before I could stop it. The next moment, I was sobbing helplessly to the brother's chest. I felt weaker than I'd admit. My brother tightened his arms around me and whispered comforting words into my ear that didn't help. He was helping me to calm down but I was nowhere there.

"Take a deep breath. Like this, come on, with me." Haxsel instructed and my memories took me back to that road between the dark woods in Colorado, where my life was changed upside down when I met this young adult as a teenager boy. It's been nearly eight years but still, my brother was just the same as then. I remember wondering how he managed to calm me down then and admired silently. I haven't told him yet that how soothing is the way he calms me down, I really should tell him one day.

I followed my brother's instructions and took a few deep breaths. When I was able to get a grip, my brother handed me water which I gulped down, not knowing until then that how sore my throat was.

I felt my brother's fingers under my chin, turning my face to him. I was taken aback to see that his normal crystal blue eyes weren't clear blue anymore but they were darkened. "What was that all about? Did, did Nott did anything to you?" he asked me calmly, unlike his now-greyish blue eyes that looks like a stormy sea.

"It's complicated." I said and found myself almost crying again when I opened my mouth. But I stopped it. "It's all my fault, though. It's my fault in the first place. I know I should've told you this before but I don't know what was wrong with me. Can you forgive me?" the last sentence was harder than I thought to say.

"Hey, hey, hey, what are you talking about? Of course, I can forgive you anything but can you explain the situation? What was your fault? What did you hide from me? What happened with Nott?" my brother inquired.

I closed my eyes for a second and opened, "It's a long story but before I tell you, please promise me you'll forgive my stupidity and also won't jump into conclusions." I begged.

Haxsel stroked my hair, "Of course, honey, if God can forgive me all my sins then, how cannot I forgive my sister's small mistakes? Above all, forgiveness is something that's need to be kept at hand by a Christian, so of course I can forgive you. Now tell me." he said.

You're probably not going to keep the forgiveness at hand for Nott the moment I'll tell you what he did. I wanted to say it but held my tongue and prepared myself to explain in incident from the beginning, from when I started a friendly chat on the day we met Nott, to the chaos it all has turned out into now.

I watched my brother every moment I told him of the things Nott talked with me that didn't seem to disgust me until now. The look on my brother's eyes clearly showed the pure fury towards that bustard, as if he could kill him with one look in the eye. Upon seeing me started to look terrified at his look in the midst of explaining, he somehow calmed him down and encouraged me to go on. Sometimes I almost choked out a sob but my brother's soothing helped me to carry on.

I was thankful that he stayed silent whilst explaining, as he promised, and only spoke up to ask me something to clear his doubts. And so, when I was done with my explanations, I waited for my brother's reaction. Even though he seemed calm outside, inside I knew, he was boiling like a lava, waiting and wanting to explode.

Haxsel just nodded understandingly, much to my surprise and reached out for his phone. As I much I didn't want him to get off guard, I secretly wished to see his protective brother side. But he wasn't reacting as much as I was expecting, to my partly relief.

I saw him taking the call list in his phone. Wait. What is he doing?

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Oh, I just want to know if my best friend has anything to do with this. First he wanted to tie me up with his sister and now my sister with his cousin?" he said, gritting through his teeth.

Wait what?!

"But Jonny, I don't think Charlie has anything to do with this." I said.

"How do you know? Then how do you think Nott got your number?" he asked frustrated.

"Didn't I tell you? He told me, he got my number from my Facebook account." I tried to remind him and he thought for a second, trying to remember.

"Are you sure he has nothing to do with this?" he asked me.

"99.9% yes. But you may confirm the rest later tomorrow but not now." I said, before adding, "Please."

Haxsel heaved a heavy sigh, "Is this all true? I mean, I can't believe it. Did he really spoke to you like that?" my brother asked unbelievably.

This time, I narrowed my eyes at him after pulling myself away from him. "Hey, don't look at me like that. I just can't believe what a bustard he was to say something like that to you." he said, the fury in his eyes never fading.

"Don't tell me you're going to ask Nott about this incident." I shook my head.

"Of course I'm going to ask him about it. What's wrong?" Haxsel asked.

"Oh no, you can't!"

"Why not?"

I puzzled. Why can't I allow my brother to ask him about it? I searched my head but couldn't find an answer for that but all know is that I don't want anything to get bad. Because I know this; if my brother is to ask him about it, it'll only go wrong and worse, I don't anything happen with my brother's friendship with Charlie.

"Let's just forget it. We can pretend that this never happened and throw this behind us like we threw my past away." I said. But, is it that easy to forget and throw away? That was a dramatic event in my life, he made happen! But I knew, I should, or else there's no other way.

"Are you serious?!" my brother almost exclaimed and I bit my lip. "He did something he shouldn't do to a girl almost twice young his age! And as long as this girl he tried to use is my sister, do you possibly think I can let it go?! If I don't react, he'll think it's not a big thing for me!"

"But he don't know if I tell you or not."

"He must know! He must know that you told it to me and shouldn't do this to any other girls."

"This is all my fault!"

"Hey, I didn't say that. It's not your fault at all!"

"Of course it is! You always takes my side because you're my brother but this is entirely my fault! If I had told this to you in the first place, we could've avoided this disaster! Or if I had seek God's help, none of this would've happened! I'm a total mess!" I facepalmed, finally ending up in crying again.

"I'm going to kill him."

"You can't."

"He's a pedophile!"

"I know that. But we both know, you can't do it." I pointed out. "Please excuse me," I said and pulled myself away from him, from his lap and his bed.

"Where are you going?" Haxsel asked.

"I-I need to pray and ask for forgiveness." I said, standing up from his bed.

"Sweetheart, you didn't do anything." he said concernedly and I opened my mouth to answer him but he was quicker, "But if you think you need to to it, I won't stop you. Maybe you're right because," he paused to take a deep breath and continued, "this wasn't meant to happen. I'm not trying to blame you honey, but-"

I cut him off, "I know," I nodded, "I haven't surrendered to God fully yet."

He nodded too and I think, that's what he wanted to tell me, surrender to God. I've always admired how spiritual and godly my brother is, by God's grace; so was out parents, but I was nowhere there. Maybe it's because they've been in this faith for years, like since birth, and might've had so many experiences that made them to be like how they are now. Because, unless you're in need or broken, you don't always seek God.

Now I'm broken. And I need God to mend me back in whole. What if, this is an experience for me to learn to surrender to God?

I walked from my brother to the exit and reached for the door knob but my brother's voice stopped me. "I'll wait until you come back." I turned to face him and he continued, "I don't want you to sleep alone after what happened today." he shrugged.

A warmth filled my heart and tears spring into my eyes at his concern. "Okay, I'll come soon." I nodded with a small smile and left to my room.

The comfort I had in my brother's room was not in mine but only the horrible conversation memories. I gulped as a shiver went down my spine and I fell to my knees before God, before bursting into uncontrollable floods of tears.

I cried and cried and cried and cried, until there was no strength in me was left. I haven't spoken a word out to God but inside, my soul was screaming out a thousand apologies to Him. I was an orphan, just a runaway girl from a Mafia but He gave me everything I have today, He's the one who made me everything I am today; but I was letting Him down!

"God," I whispered when I was able to find my voice, "Father, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I let you down. I'm so sorry, can you please forgive me? I promise, I won't do it again."

I knew that, there's nothing that's too much for God to forgive, but the matter is, I couldn't forgive myself because I realized that, I have let Him down. My own guilt, pierced my heart.

A moment later, I found myself explaining everything before God, as I explained to my brother. First I felt stupid to do it because, He was God and He knows everything and He knew this would happen before it actually happened to me. And yet, here I was, talking to God about it. But the stupidity I felt in the beginning, vanquished into the thin air as I felt a huge burden being removed from my heart slowly and slowly and at last, entirely.

I did felt a little better, just a bit, when I shared with my brother. But there was still a big part that needed to be better and, it was made better now. Tears continually poured for my eyes as I realized that God heard and forgave me. That moment, I understood this, He's all I need, His help is all I want to live my life in this rotten world and if I have Him on my side, I'm whole and I have everything.

I found myself able to smile widely to God which then turned into a chuckle and a giggle. I thanked Him over and over again, being able to feel His presence as an actual person who sits in front of me to hear me out. Maybe there's no difficulty to find people who could devote themselves to listen to you and comfort you with words, but there's only one person, just one person, who will understand you and alone can heal you, rather than giving just a comfort that doesn't last any long; Jesus.

I finally felt free.

Some moments later, -siting with God in His presence, I didn't know the time going- I sat up from my knees, washed my face to get rid of the year stains from cheeks, grabbed my blanket and went back to my brother's room.

To my heartwarming surprise, he was still waiting for me, even it's been an hour since I left. But the sight wasn't pleasant. I got healed inside but my brother looked frustrated inside out. He was sitting on his bed with his feet touching the carpet on ground. He had his both hands on his head and his hair was unbelievably messy than I've ever seen. He didn't see me enter until there was a *click* sound when I closed the door behind me.

When Haxsel looked up and our eyes met, I saw them red. Was he crying? No, no, no, he doesn't cry; but what?

"Jonny, you all right?" I asked him as I neared him, placing my blanket on his bed and sat next to him.

"How can I be all right when-" he paused and sighed, "Forget it, how do you feel?" he asked, his voice was smooth than the first.

"Better now. God really helped me. What about you?" I asked. Although, I could say that he couldn't help the fury inside him. Also it seemed like, he's more disgusted with Nott than I am. Maybe, that's something so brotherly about him.

"Shall we pray?"

"Sure!" I said and scooted close to him as he put on his t-shirt.

We both held each others hands and bow our heads as Haxsel started to pray. From what he prayed, I understood that he's so off guard and needs God to be in control of him. Of course, I can't forget how he looked like when I told him the whole mess; if Nott was somewhere here, then he's done for it.

After prayer, Haxsel hugged me, like someone is trying to take me away from him and he don't want to let me go. "You know what, maybe there are things out there that are trying tear us apart, but I promise you, I won't let anyone take you away from me. You're mine, always my little sister and God's answer to my prayers."

I smiled with tears in my eyes, "God won't let it happen. I love you, biggie." I said.

I felt him smile into my hair, "Amen to that and I love you too, more, tiny-scoot." he said, using the old nickname he haven't used recently until now. I giggled and hugged him tight, happy that God has helped him to be in control too.

We laid laid back on bed, too late after reading Bible together. It wasn't easy for me to fall asleep even though I was tired. But when I did, I wasn't slipping into my dreamland but to the land of nightmares, where, this certain one was waiting for me.

—— ——

A/N: Anyone interested in medieval stories? I've got the perfect one for you! It's a fanfiction by my sweet friend Mare called, THE SHAMER'S DAUGHTER.

Did I mention it's a fanfiction? Yes. But trust me, there's no need to know the original story to read this book. I'm reading it without knowing the original too but it feels like an original and professional story. Please do check it out if you're interested. *never judge a book by its name or cover* 😉

Thank you.