My dear Nadir, here written down in my nearly illegible script you will find the painful story behind my early life. You were right, writing it down has helped me. Though I don't believe it has fully purged me of my bitterness.

I have gathered information from Marie about my earlier years, I do hope this will interest you. Perhaps you can add your point of view to it as well? It would make for a fine story. (Though if you decide under any circumstances to publish it, I will have you longing for the Rosy Hours of the Mazandaran.)

~ All my love, Kiera

I was born on an ordinary night. Under no extraordinary circumstances.

No lightning preceded my entrance into the world. No terrifying storm or cold night. Just the sun setting over France. A rosy glow. But as the sun turned red, and my mother's anguished cries decreased the nurse nearly dropped me on my head.

"Dear God!" She exclaimed.

-My mother, a vain and vapid woman, raised a weary head to see the nurse more clearly.-

A cloth was tossed unceremoniously over my face, as the nurse froze in fear.

"What is it?"

"It's a girl Madame..."

"Let me see her!" She commanded.

"No... miss... I-" the woman stammered.

"Now!"

I was brought over and my mother took me from her arms. With a glare she uncovered my face.

A gasp hung in the air, frozen in time.

"What IS THAT?!"

"It is your little girl, madame..."

"That is no little girl! That thing is a monster! A demon!!" My mother's face paled. "Get it away from me!"

"Well, what do you want me to do with it?" The nurse snapped back.

"Dispose of it!" My mother shrieked.

At this moment, I opened my mouth and God smiled upon me. As my tiny voice filled the room, some broken, slivered piece of my mother's heart started to beat.

"Call for a priest please...while I nurse it... her," Her voice softened slightly and she gently recovered my face.

God had cursed me with this face, yet blessed me with the voice of an angel,- that blessing was all it took for me to survive.

She made me a little white mask out of kid's skin.

My first unfeeling scrap of clothing.

As I grew, so did my mother's distaste for me.

I was stuffed unceremoniously into a cradle in the attic, where the only companionship I had was that of my mother's little dog.

Marie, my mother's dearest -and now only- friend had become our only link to the outside world. At some times it felt like it was Marie and I against the world. She was a plain woman, with a soft, kind face.

Her beauty was different to my mother's, which was sharp.

The way Madeline spoke, dressed, even her face was sharp. Like shards of glass.

The contrast between the two of them was great. Marie's words were always kind and uplifting, her homespun dresses soft and worn. And she was always doing something in her slow methodical way.

I remember one year for Christmas, she knitted me a soft red shawl. It felt rather like I imagine a hug would have.

I never will understand why that wonderful woman decided to take me under her wing.

Okay, maybe I do. I believe it happened sometime after the rather failed attempt at a birthday celebration.

My mother was clanging around in the kitchen. She made me put on my best dress.

That alone made me suspicious.

"Mother, why are you making me wear this?"

"Auntie Marie is coming over. To celebrate your birthday."

"My...my birthday?" I frowned.

"Yes! The anniversary of your birth- Anyways, Marie is going to bring you a birthday present."

I frowned again, and watched the panic spread across my mother's face.

"Do you hear me?"

"Yes, Mother,-" I replied, pausing on the stairs.

She arched a brow at me. "What is it?"

"If Miss Marie is going to bring me a gift, will you give me one too?"

"Of course,-" She replied, though her tone lacked conviction. "Is there anything in particular you want?"

My heart hammered and I chose my words carefully, trying to speak around the lump in my throat.

"May I have anything I want?"

"Within reason." She replied.

"May I have two of them?" I ventured again

"Why do you need two?"

"So I can use up the other when the first is gone."

"What do you want?"

"I... I want..."

"What!?"

"KISSES!" I shouted, though at the look of horror on my mother's face I rambled on in a softer tone. "Kisses...two of them...one now and one to save..." I replied, ending in a whisper.

"You must never ask that,-" She replied harshly, though her eyes started to water. "You must never ask me that again, Kiera! Do you understand me?! Never!!"

"W-why are you crying?" I asked, backing away from my mother, who seemed to be suffering from a bout of hysterics.

"I'm not crying!" She gasped.

I frowned. "Yes, you are!" I growled. "You asked what I wanted! You MADE me tell you! And now you won't give it to me! Well, I don't like birthdays! I HATE THEM!" I exclaimed, rushing up the stairs to the safety of my attic, before she could see my tears.

I didn't understand the source of her hatred, but that would soon change. I was angry, so unspeakably angry. I wanted to hurt her.

I could hear voices down below.-Aunty Marie had arrived,- and I knew just how to get back at my mother.

I took the stairs down to the kitchen, and took off my mask. Opening the door, and glaring defiantly at my mother.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see Marie go deathly pale. My mother noticed too, and turned on her heel.

Marie smiled tightly. "Good afternoon, Kiera,-That's a lovely dress."

I did not reply, instead looking at my mother in defiance.

"How dare you! HOW DARE YOU?!" She screeched. "You wicked child!"

"Madeline...it really doesn't matter."

"Be silent! I can deal with this without your interference,-" She snapped at Marie. "Kiera, go to your room this instant and if you ever come out without the mask again, I shall whip you for it!"

My eyes burned, as did my cheeks. "I don't like the mask!" I replied obstinately. "It hurts me! Here." I pointed to just under my eyes, where the mask had rubbed my skin raw.

Marie looked about on the verge of tears, but she glared at my mother, and that gave me the strength to stand under my mother's terrifying gaze.

"Go to your room,-" My mother repeated. "And I will make you a new mask after supper."

"No!" I exclaimed.

"No?"

"No! Why do I have to wear a mask! Nobody else has to!"

My mother's jaw clenched,- She let out all the air from her lungs.

"Madeline..." Marie raised a hand as if to hold her back.

Very suddenly, my mother was shaking me by the shoulders and screeching. "YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?! BY JOVE SHE SHALL!!!"

I was dragged up the stairs by my arm, to my mother's room which contained the only mirror in the entire household.

"LOOK! FEAST YOUR EYES!" She panted.

"Madeline no!" Marie exclaimed, attempting to pull me away from the mirror and spare me the horror. My mother caught her and held her back as I made eye contact with the creature in the mirror.

That nose-less, hopeless terrifying monster. That stared back at me with hollow haunted golden eyes.

I froze in terror.

"Kiera..." Marie softly entreated, breaking free of my mother.

And that's when I started screaming, and flung myself at the mirror, pummelling the glass with my fists. The pain from the shattered glass only enraged my further. I was terrified and confused. Hands came to restrain me. My mother's hands as I later found out by the bite mark i left on her.

Marie was a soothing balm, she ordered my mother to go get some bandages, as she found some tweezers and pulled the shards of glass out of my hands.

Though I wish the scars left on my heart could have scabbed over and healed as easily as the ones on my hands.