Suicidal asf even from just the title it already is.

I have been thinking about my wrongs,
listening to sad songs,
staring at a blade,
wanting to do it but I was afraid.

Had the courage to drink alcohol,
did it but failed to get up from my fall.
Dad left when I was 8,
and everyday I look out the window and wait.

Had friendships ending,
always thinking about dying.
Hating myself for what a human being,
I'm becoming...

Transferred and met new people,
met a friend and made me triple,
three times happier,
turned me into a warrior.

No use in crying,
saying I am fine, I need to stop lying.
Stop wanting to die but it isn't as easy as I thought,
the demons I fought,
are coming back.