《Short Recap》

The siren of the ambulance pierced the air, as the paramedic team jumped out and got to work immediately. Everything seemed to happen in a blur. They placed Mrs. Pinto on the ventilator and rushed to the nearest hospital, as two nurses held me back.

I screamed and screamed until no sound came. Salty tears ran down my cheeks like a river during summertime as I was put into a hospital car and taken away.

The irony of the situation wasn't lost to me.

I had told Mrs. Pinto that I would not be held accountable if she ended up in the hospital today.

But this was all my fault. I should have helped her across the road. I should have...

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I stared emptily at the stark white walls of the hospital, as I sat uncomfortably on a metal bench outside the operation theatre. The deafening silence suddenly started feeling heavier as it weighed down on me.

Sasha, Mrs. Pinto's daughter, paced restlessly up and down the corridor. The hospital had called her immediately after taking Mrs. Pinto into the ER.

"You should go home Akira. It's very late." She said quietly, pausing to glance ruefully at the door of the OT which had been shut for the last one and a half hour.

I looked up at her in a daze and shook my head, "I'm not going anywhere until I'm sure that Mrs. Pinto's going to be fine. This wouldn't have happened if I had been more careful."

My lips trembled as I spoke.

"None of this was your fault, dear," Sasha reassured me with a sad smile, "My mother travels alone everyday. If anything, I'm grateful that you were there to make sure she reached the hospital on time."

I remained silent, staring at the white tiled floor unsurely.

"But..." I started shifting my gaze slowly to meet Sasha's.

"I know what you're going to say," she cut me off, " I don't blame you for what happened and neither does my mother. And she's a tough old woman, she'll certainly get through this."

The last part sounded more like she was reassuring herself. I really felt sorry for her.

"I'm staying." I stated, my mind spinning in a tizzy as I tried to fathom all the possible outcomes of Mrs. Pinto's accident.

She'd reached the hospital on time so she should have better odds of survival, right?

Sasha shrugged, "Well, you might at least want to change your clothes then. They're covered with blood."

I looked down at my ruined outfit, my dark washed denim shorts looked even darker because of the blood that had seeped in. The yellow smiley face on the corner of my t-shirt looked a lot like those animated, happy drops of blood that had featured in the introduction to menstruation videos they showed us in sixth grade.

No wonder I'd been getting weird stares every single time a nurse or doctor walked past us.

I pulled out my phone and texted Roshni, 'I'm at Victoria Hospital right now. Can you please get me a fresh set of clothes?'

She texted back almost instantly. It was like she was sitting right across from me, that's how fast she was.

'Omg, Are you in one piece? Neel and I have been trying to contact you for the last two hours but you haven't been picking up.'

Ok what?!

I quickly scrolled down my task bar and found that my notifications were flooded. I had twenty two missed calls from Roshni, thirty one from Neel and five from Vinay.

My lips curled into a frown. I don't remember putting my phone on silent.

'HELLO?! AKIRA ARE YOU STILL THERE?!'

'Don't you dare seen zone me, young lady!'

Roshni began to spam my text.

'I'm alright. Please just get me some clothes. I'll tell you everything later.' I replied.

'But what happened?!'

'Please Roshni...I said I'll tell you everything later. Just get me some clothes right now.'

'Ok I'll be there soon.' Roshni wrote back, without a moment's delay.

'Don't be too long.' I typed back.

With a drawn out sigh, I pressed the screen blackout button and closed my eyes. Darkness engulfed me, the black emptiness embracing me as I sat silently.

Without much thought, I folded my hands in front of chest and started praying. Something I hadn't resorted to in a very long time.

Don't get me wrong. I am no atheist, I do believe in God. At least that there was a higher force looking over me from somewhere in our massive universe. It's just that praying to more than thirty three million gods and goddesses got exhausting after a while.

"Here." I opened my eyes to see a tumbler of coffee dangling in front of my face.

"What are you doing here?" I scowled, "I thought I made it crystal clear that I don't want you interfering in my life."

"It's not like I wanted to come, ok." Vinay snapped, eyeing the dried blood on my outfit with disgust, "Roshni begged me to come and get you clothes and some food."

"Well, you didn't have to." I retorted, "If this was such an inconvenience you could have just said you were busy or something . I'm sure she would have figured out how to reach me herself."

Huffing, I crossed my arms in front of my chest and looked away, a frown flitting it's way onto my face.

It wasn't like Roshni to be like this. She was the kind of person who would walk through fire just to make sure the people she cared about were safe.

Vinay shrugged, plopping down on the seat next to me. "There's no need to get so worked up. A simple thank you would have sufficed."

I rolled my eyes in disdain. Arguing with Vinay was fruitless.

"Fine, hand me the clothes." I said thrusting my hand forward.

He passed me a paper bag. I found my skinny jeans and a large maroon hoodie.

Holding it up, I raised my brow, "What's this?"

"I uh..." Vinay scratched his neck nervously, "I didn't know which t-shirt to get so I just picked up one of my hoodies. Don't worry it's washed."

"Ok thank you. You can head back home now, I'll be staying here a little longer." I flashed a small smile.

I made my way down the long corridor to the ladies' restroom at the far end. I opened the door and entered a stall locking myself inside.

I peeled off my soiled t-shirt and shorts. Dried blood covered my hands and stomach in blotches.

Pulling my lips into a thin line, I stood in a weird position as I tried washing away the dirt with the hand shower as best as I could without getting my underwear wet. I dried myself using toilet paper before wearing the clothes that Vinay had brought.

I gagged involuntarily as I looked at crimson mess I'd made on the floor, tossing the dirty clothes into the bag.

Get a grip Akira!

Taking a deep breath, I cleaned the stall hastily before stepping out.

Thankfully there was no one waiting outside. Phew!

Imagine coming out and having an awkward encounter with a tired doctor or nurse on their loo break, after spending fifteen minutes inside.

I found Sasha talking gravely to Vinay when I got back. I watched as he gave the box of food he'd brought for me to her.

My felt my stomach twist with a foreign emotion as I watched them sitting in such close proximity.

I get it, Sasha is very pretty and she was currently playing the damsel in distress role, but she does not get to have my food. Yeah, it was the food. I was jealous because of that right?!

"Oh, you're back." Sasha said, noticing me.

She rose from her seat with a deep sigh, "I think I'll go get some tea from the pantry downstairs. Thank you for the help Vinay, it means a lot."

"You know she's married and she has a two year old son." I remarked, slumping into he seat on the far side of the bench, away from Vinay.

"Ok and why do I need to know that?" Vinay raised his eyebrow questioningly, "I wasn't aware it was fun fact time."

I shrugged indifferently, choosing to remain silent and started counting the number of tiles on the floor.

Just as Sasha returned, the OT door clicked open and a doctor walked out in his surgical gear.

"How is my mother, doctor?" Sasha asked, terror masking her face when she looked at the doctor's grave visage.

"Her condition has been stabilized for now. The patient suffered from a hemorrhage in the brain and broken limbs along with acute blood loss. Fortunately she hasn't slipped into coma, but chances of amnesia are quite high," He replied, using his rehearsed bad-news tone, "We shall be keeping her in the hospital under observation for a week before we can discharge her."

A horrible feeling erupted inside my chest and slowly started spreading inside me. I swallowed the bile that had risen to my throat.

What if Mrs. Pinto didn't make it?

Sasha nodded, curling her lips inward as she digested the news. "Can I please meet her?" she asked, as tearfully.

"Yes, immediate family may have a couple of minutes with the patient. She's currently on bed number six in the ICU." He replied, as he pulled off his surgical gloves.

I stood up.

"Akira, only immediate family allowed." Sasha said quietly.

"But..." I started to protest.

Vinay got up and held me back as Sasha made her way down the corridor. I jerked my hand out of his hold forcefully.

"Don't touch me." I gritted, "I told you to go home right?"

I slumped back onto the bench. Burying my face in my hands, I started sobbing.

I wanted to delete this day from my life completely. It had literally been the worst day of my life. I hated feeling so vulnerable and alone.

I felt warm arms wrapping around my shoulders, and pulling me towards them. After a moment's resistance, I gave in and buried my face into Vinay's chest. I needed it right now.

Vinay held me tightly, one hand running up and down my back reassuringly.

"Sasha told me what happened, Akira," he said with unusual gentleness, "Her mother's accident was hardly your fault. It was the driver who jumped the red signal and hit her."

"It doesn't matter. I should have made sure she crossed the road properly. I could have prevented it." I mumbled against him.

"Don't be stupid." Vinay stated, "For a smart girl like you, you sure are spouting nonsense."

I hit his arm. "There's no need to be rude, ok."

"I'm just stating facts. You need learn to accept fate." He replied, "Come on. Let me take you home."

"No, I need to stay." I shook my head, looking up at him with red, puffy eyes.

"No, you just feel that you have to. You don't need to," Vinay said softly, "You did your bit, now let the others handle the rest."

Letting out a drawn out sigh, I pulled away and stood up.

"Ok, I guess I'll just drop in tomorrow." I muttered dejectedly.

Standing up, Vinay pulled my small hand into his and interlocked our fingers before leading me out. I let him. I didn't have it in me to resist, not today.

They say that the world always moves on, but to me that was the saddest part...

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