06 • Scars That Run Deep
《Short Recap》
Besides, I was hoping that Mihir, being my project head, would put in a good word about me and I'd get a full time job at TYCHE. That was literally the only reason I was doing Mihir's work for him.
"Son of a bitch..." I muttered under my breath, pressing save.
"Exactly what I was thinking." Roshni agreed, "Now let's go submit that fast. I want to eat pani puri before the break ends."
"Let's go." I nodded, as I dusted my pant and followed her out of the college gates.
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Surprisingly, I had seen Vinay in college on Monday. He was bunking class, in the parking lot behind the college building when I returned to college after submitting Mihir's presentation. He was sitting on a parked motorcycle with a couple of friends sitting on other bikes, laughing at something as they all smoked cigarettes.
He wore the same dark washed jeans, almost black that he'd been wearing when he stormed out of the apartment. His shirt had changed and so had the girl clinging onto his arm today.
She listened to every word that rolled out of Vinay's mouth like they were pearls of divine wisdom, choosing to be oblivious of the fact that she would be replaced tomorrow, and instead enjoying the day long fame that she'd got.
I pursed my lips in a thin line and walked away. Smoking on the college campus was prohibited. How these boys got away with breaking almost every rule in the college rulebook was remarkable! Or not.
I knew for a fact that they paid off the watchman to keep his mouth shut. The poor man obviously looked forward to getting the extra allowance.
Scrunching my nose in disgust, I shook my head noncommittally. What Vinay did and when he did it was honestly none of my business and I planned to keep it that way.
Vinay didn't return to the apartment that evening. Nor did he come back on Tuesday. I was beginning to wonder where he went.
Don't get me wrong. The quiet evenings had been surreal and I had slowly begun moving my work things to the living room.
But he was after all paying rent for this place, right? It's not like he was staying here for free.
Unknowingly, I started questioning myself. What did I ever do or say that hurt him so much?
I furrowed my brow. Or was I that despicable that he wanted absolutely nothing to do with me?
No, I certainly was not despicable. I huffed.
Vinay was the one with a stick up his sorry ass.
He'd been around me for less than an hour adding up all the time we'd been in the same room. Majority of which he had spent getting on my nerves, and then he had the audacity to make a dramatic exit.
I felt sorry for him, really. He still didn't know that he wasn't the prima donna of the soap opera that was my life. He was more of a side chic.
Wednesday rolled in quickly. The short lived respite that the North bound Westerlies had brought with the Sunday showers was long gone now. The intolerable heat was back and the humidity was making my hair frizzy.
I was sitting comfortably in living room corner that I'd claimed for myself, my back propped against some pillows as I read 'Digital Fortress' by Dan Brown. I slurped cold minty lemonade as I dived headfirst into the enthralling land of unbreakable coding paradigms, love and betrayal at its best.
I didn't notice as the door creaked open slowly and Vinay walked in with light footsteps. So when he tossed his bunch of keys into the glass key bowl, on the shelf next to the fridge, the clinking sound startled me. The glass of lemonade topped over in my hand as I held it, emptying its leftover contents onto my t-shirt.
"Shit!" I cursed, as the cold liquid seeped in through the cloth and into the place between the mounds of my breasts.
Vinay snickered. "Clumsy aren't we?" he said, as I tried helplessly to prevent my t-shirt from sticking inappropriately to my chest.
"Oh just give me a break." I muttered under my breath, as I bent down to clean the mess mid made with one of the pillow covers. I was relieved to see that my book had somehow fallen away from the mess and was unscathed.
Shooting Vinay one last glare, I went into my room and shut the door behind me.
When I came out to grab an apple from the fridge, I was surprised to see Vinay curled up on the couch in the living room, hunched over a notebook. He was scribbling furiously in a worn out, black leather bound book. His forehead was knit into a grave expression as he poured out his thoughts onto paper.
Getting a closer look at his face, I saw the dark circles lining his eyes. He looked exhausted. But the macho man that he was, he seemed to be dragging himself on, not wanting to accept the fact that he was.
"Is that your diary?" I asked from the kitchen, without thinking.
The moment Vinay heard my voice he sat up straight, all signs of concentration disappearing from his face as he shut the book abruptly.
"Wouldn't you love to find out?" he sneered.
He rose in a quick motion, and headed into his room with long strides, not noticing a small sheet of paper that slipped out of his journal.
The moment Vinay closed the door behind him, I ran excitedly to fetch the sheet and read what he'd written on it.
It turned out to be a poem of sorts.
'That's odd.' I frowned as I started reading.
Eyes shut close, but I still see flashes of stars
My legs chained fast, I wonder if they'll take me far
Eardrums burst, until all I heard was the silence in the dark.
You scared me into this wretched hole
Said it was nothing but a gentle breeze,
When this storm's left my ship stranded far away from the shore.
I did it all wordlessly, but look it where it's brought me now
I'm lost, I'm broken, struggling to hold onto the last straw.
Love is a feeling of bliss, a sense of safety they say
But people are naïve, it's the empty idea they crave
Because love is nothing but endless pain.
But here I stand putting up a happy charade
Hiding all the pain,
Masking all my scars.
But the world runs along it's way unaware
As I continue digging myself a deep grave.
My breath hitched as I read the poem, my heart pounding violently against my ribs.
The poem was actually really beautiful.
The words were full of raw emotion and I couldn't help it when a ball started forming inside my throat.
Did Vinay write this? Were these the feelings that he kept locked up behind that insufferable smirk of his?
I stared at the words intently, drinking them in.
Suddenly, the page was ripped out of my hands and I looked up to meet the gaze of a fuming Vinay.
"Where the fuck did you find that Akira?" he scowled, stuffing the page into his pocket.
"I uh..." I started hesitantly.
"Actually, don't answer that. I don't think I want to know." He said rudely.
Despite his rudeness, I offered him a small smile.
"You know Vinay, I really don't care what you think of me," I replied, "That poem there, it's beautiful."
He shrugged indifferently.
I continued, "If you ever feel like you want to talk to someone about whatever it is you're going through, you know where to find me."
Vinay laughed humorlessly in response. "Keep your pity, Akira. I don't want it. I'm dealing with my problems just fine. And just because you read some bullshit I wrote does not mean you understand me any better than you did before. So by all means, just fuck off."
I searched his face for emotion but I found nothing but hatred in his eyes. Hatred towards himself that was being reflected onto me.
Vinay left me standing speechless there as he turned to go back into his sanctuary, and slammed the door onto my face yet again. This was the second time in four days.
I exhaled defeatedly.
Vinay was many things. He hid his scars behind the sturdy walls he'd built up around his mind. But he wasn't the egotistical asshole I'd presumed him to be, that was for sure.
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That's the sixth chapter you'll!!
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