The tenth review today... Can you believe it? Because I hardly can. The roasting trend is taking Wattpad by storm. Today's brave sacrifice is the Fantasy book Hero, by @LadyofthePond. Let's burn it to a crisp, shall we?

The cover is that of a girl and the outline of the city behind her in lilac tones. Not one I dislike, but not ones of the best I've seen either. It brings out that feeling of despair quite good though. The blurb is rather short but very exciting in content. Maisie, the daughter of superheroes, is born without powers and for that, she gets bullied constantly. When she is forced to help her hero-brothers with a shipment of an illegal drug, she gets caught up in a rather fucked-up and dangerous situation.

Plot & Characters

The first thing we see in this story is Maisie's miserable life. In this universe, there is a small percentage of people who develops superpowers. One of the first ones was the MC's father, Sterling Arthur. Too bad Sterling is a complete asshat who blackmails his daughter into going to missions against superhuman enemies. When Maisie gets bullied in school or lays beaten in a hospital, her father doesn't even care to visit her. Her two brothers are no better than him. Alfred, the oldest and Samson, the youngest are both pretentious assholes who think they are better than the rest of humanity because of their powers (invisibility and super-strength respectively.)

The problems start during the mission Maisie is forced to participate. A drug called Flight can give its user superpowers for a certain amount of time, but only works in a very small percentage of users and they usually turn insane. Of course, papa Sterling sends his kids to retrieve this drug and destroy it. In a surprising turn of events, Maisie's brothers are hurt and Maisie is the only one standing against a Flight user with superhuman strength. Bobby the Beast manages to punch Maisie on the head (while her brother Alfred stays invisible and watches) and she lands inside the chalk circle which protects the cargo of drugs, one Samson tried to enter and was repelled instantly. There, Maisie communicates with a voice that tells her cryptic stuff that don't make much sense, but most importantly that shit is going to go down.

Maisie and the bros are rescued by papa Sterling who is so handsome and charming (the protagonist's words, not mine) who bends everyone to his will, even it is clear from his behaviour that he is a psychopath who abuses his daughter. Maisie, desperate to discover what the voice in the circle meant, visits Bobby the Beast at the hospital, where she meets two cops who hate her father's guts and agree to help her. Alas, Bobby and Maisie are attacked by a mysterious assassin, who fails miserably to kill them and instead kills herself. Maisie then discusses these mysterious events with her brother Samson, who is a tiny bit less asshole than Alfred (but not much.)

Long story short: Maisie realises that everything that's going on behind the whole Flight business traces back to the Five, the superheroes who teamed up to fight the first insane Flight user, a pyromancer who almost burnt the entire London. One of the Five was, of course, papa Sterling but since the voice in the circle mentioned a "she" he is out of the suspect list. Lots of events happen, Maisie tries the Flight someone planted in her own house, she turns insane and almost kills her father but stops at the last second, because she still loves him and wants his attention because he is so charming????? (WTF). Papa Sterling throws Maisie out of their house in the middle of the night, so she goes to stay with her brother Samson. And suddenly, Maisie decides that her brother loves her (even though he ignored her existence for 10 years and still talks to her in the worst way possible) and she must try to be friends with him???????

After a murder attempt against her, she finds the number of one of the big Five (very plot conveniently) and tries to meet him, only to be captured by Alice, also a member of the big Five, a pyromancer and the one responsible for all the murder attempts. Maisie escapes her clutches, and is saved by Samson, who of course taunts her for her stupidity one more time.

The main plot and some of the subplots are actually very engaging. The whole core idea of the regular human MC and the abuse she goes through is pretty amazing. But the execution lacks in more than a few spots.

Many things which don't make sense/subplots which are later forgotten. For example, when Bobby the Beast attacks Maisie in the warehouse, he mentions her father is not a regular Superhero but he uses Flight to survive to which Maisie agrees. But some chapters later, the whole thing is completely forgotten and not mentioned ever since.

One of the good twists of this story, is that Maisie's mother is a telepath, whose brain got permanently damaged after a fight with a crazy drug user. Therefore, she goes into these telepathic rampages who can drive everyone around her insane. The only person who can calm her down is her husband, Papa Sterling, because of a mind bond they share. And that's how he blackmails Maisie into going to missions: "If you don't obey me, I'll let your mother run amok." But if you think about it, that idea doesn't make much sense. If Sterling lets his wife to go into a crazy mind rampage, his reputation is going to go down the drain, so he is forced to keep her quiet, even without his daughter following his orders.

And let's just talk about Sterling for a while, shall we? The guy is totally insane and it shows. He sends his powerless daughter to suicide missions while the police and reporters are watching, they are videos of Maisie bullied massively at school, and NO-ONE DOES A FUCKING THING TO STOP HIM. Not because his is powerful, but because he is charming. WTF? No-one can charm his way through domestic abuse.

Many things happen suspiciously conveniently, too. F.i: One of the Five is a healer and the MCs just happen to come across him when they are gravely wounded. His wife is a fucking tracker, and guess when they meet her? When Maisie is kidnapped by crazy Alice and needs to escape her country-house. Also, since the beginning of this whole mess Maisie is interrogated by Samson, two police officers and a big Five member, but still she reveals nothing about the mysterious voice in the circle. But, while talking with her father she suddenly becomes careless and reveals the whole conversation she had in the chalk circle. Seriously?

Despite the complaints, I was enjoying this story. Until chapter ten at least. And then Maisie happened. I was a total sucker for her character at first. Scared, abused by everyone, forced to obey her father's commands and hating her family, trying to find a way to escape. She was strong, indepented and full of rage... But then, everything changes so suddenly. Maisie starts speaking with her Father, whose orders have almost killed her many times, mind you, and she can stop herself from thinking how handsome he is, and how much he wants his notice and approval. It's sickening and fucked-up. The same with her brother Samson. The guy is a total prick, shouting and degrading his sister all the time, but still, because he saved Maisie a couple of times, she thinks that he is turning into some sort of a hero? And that she must try to repair their family ties. I DON'T WANT HER TO HAVE FAMILY TIES. I want her to go on a rampage and murder those idiots who have been torturing her all her life. It's just insane that she suddenly wants to be loved by a family that doesn't care if she lives or dies.

Not much to say about the rest. Mom is in a coma, Father and brothers are assholes, the two cops are amazing but we only meet them rarely, and the members of the big Five are interesting personalities, but pop up conveniently when the plot demands it. This book is mostly Maisie, and it shows. Painfully.

Grammar & Writing Style

The Grammar is very good at most parts, with only some words misplaced and/or repeated. Nothing a quick edit can't fix.

I also loved the writing style, which is one of the most professional ones I've seen in Wattpad. Quick paced action, solid descriptions and (mostly) believable dialogue. My only complaint is that there were some unnecessary info-dumps throughout (mostly in the beginning, with names and background stories with don't play any role to the later story), but it's not that big of a deal either. What I urge the author is for the chapters to be divided. The book starts well with the seven to ten minute chapters, and ends up with these huge 20+ minute ones. Making them even will make the reading experience smoother.

Advice to the Writer

1) Think about your subplots and main plot. Some things in the main plot don't make sense. F.e If there is only a small amount of Heroes, why is Maisie under such pressure to become one, to the point where she is bullied and hated at school? Why are her brothers such assholes when their Powers are nothing spectacular? How come her Father hasn't ended up with a bullet in his head or at least with an attempt against his life? People are going against Superman and the Avengers, but Sterling Arthur has no enemies whatsoever! How come Maisie is still alive even, when she is absolutely non-heroic? Also, what about the subplots which are abandoned? The Flight Users who gain true powers? The whole "Daddy is a fake superhero" thing? Keep track of them and pay attention as to how you will continue this story.

2) Kill convenience. Alice found Maisie instantly. How? Ishaan is a healer and his wife is a tracker? Seriously? The mom's whole affair and her injury/her lover knowing Ishaan's 10 year old phone. Really? Maisie confessing accidently to her father. WTF? Explain how and why, the readers always appreciate that. Deus ex Machina is good, as long as it is used wisely.

3) Fix Maisie's character. It is impossible to put such detailed descriptions of how fucked up Maisie's life is because of her Father and brothers, so much passion as to why those characters should be hated, and then do a 180 degree turn and play the "I just want to be noticed-card." Either you show us the family's redeeming qualities from the beginning or make them less hated (for example Sterling is only indifferent and not a sadist) or make them beg Maisie for mercy and forgiveness (my favourite option, along with punching Sterling hard on the face when in Flight XD). Maisie can be something different. Don't make her beg for redemption.

Final Rating: 7/10. Although the best rating so far, it still hurts me to rate this with only seven. If only for the first parts, it would have scored a solid eight. But it feels like the author lost herself along the way. I hope she turns this whole thing around, because the book is fantastic material.