They were on the side of the road, miles away from where they had been pulled over. Only now, they weren't pulled over by a cop. Elliot stared out through the open passenger door, watching Olivia who was a few yards away and hunched over in the bushes. He'd offered to get out and hold her hair back, but she had swiftly told him to remain in the vehicle.

The last thing she needed was for him to see this. Just another reminder of why they were on the road to begin with. She wanted nothing more than to completely disassociate the idea of pregnancy with their trip, despite it being the sole purpose. She feared that the more apparent it became, the more it would weigh heavily in his mind.

He waited a few more minutes before hearing her footsteps through the grass. She groaned as she leaned into the car, grabbing his bottle of Mountain Dew. "Wait, Liv, that's my dri—"

He was cut off by the sound of her pouring the soda in her mouth and gargling with it. He grimaced in disgust, but slightly nodded his head. Of course she would. This was Olivia, why didn't he expect that from her.

She spit the soda onto the ground and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, tossing the bottle back in his direction. "Gah, good as new," she rasped, hoisting herself back into the passenger seat. "I'll tell you, that is one thing I am absolutely thrilled to be done with. You can only do that so many times before people start to catch on."

"Well," he sighed, guiding the Jeep back onto the road. "We'll be at the motel soon, you can rest and try to feel better."

She laughed. "Elliot, this doesn't go away when you put your feet up and turn on cartoons to relax. I wouldn't start to feel better until my second trimester."

"I - I know that," he sputtered, hanging his head. "Sorry."

"Nah, don't apologize," she waved her hand. "It's my own damn fault. I got myself into this mess, weird bodily changes are my punishment until I learn my lesson."

He listened to the tone of her voice, the calmness he recognized. It was her mask. She wore it when she was afraid or ashamed. He saw from the corner of his eye as she rested her head in her hand.

"You gonna be okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine. I just need to eat again so the nausea doesn't get worse from an empty stomach," she replied.

"No," he whispered softly. "That's not what I was asking, Liv."

She didn't move, in fact, she froze. Her eyes stayed glued to whatever she was staring at, but she wasn't really staring as much as she was dazed. "Oh," she murmured. "I mean, yeah. What's the alternative to being okay? Whatever it is, it isn't an option."

"Right," he nodded quietly, keeping his eyes on the road. "I know that you probably didn't consider the alternative, which is understandable. But did you... I don't know... did you ever wonder? Like, wonder what it would be like?"

She took a deep breath. "You're wrong," she whispered. "I did consider. I didn't just decide this the moment the second line on the test showed up." There was no defensiveness in her voice as he would've expected, no vitriol or anything. It was sincerity. "I actually did sit down and think through each option."

"And?" he pressed more, actually interested in her thought process.

She sighed again, "And... each option was hell. Even this one," she stated firmly. "I thought about what it would be like to be a mom at my age. I'd either have to fight like hell to graduate, drop out, or get my GED. The rate of teen moms getting diplomas is lower than the likelihood of you getting laid by Kathy, and that's saying something. My mother would throw me to the curb without a second thought, and even if she didn't, I wouldn't allow my kid within a five mile radius of her or that apartment."

He nodded sadly, but kept his eyes trained on the road as he listened.

"So, I would have to get another job because right now, minimum wage isn't enough to support myself and a child, let alone myself. I'd need my own place and childcare while I work, and childcare is pretty much just as expensive as an apartment. I couldn't ask Brian for child support, he's just as young and dumb as I am. I can't get a decent job without a diploma, so probably three underpaid jobs, I'd never see my kid, nor would I get a real chance at giving them a proper life. Cassidy is too busy grabbing ass and picking pockets on the subway to be a parent, so that's out of the question too. It wouldn't be impossible, but it sure as hell wouldn't be a life that I wanna live."

She really had thought it through.

"And before you bring up adoption, I thought of that too. It's really easy to say 'why not just put it up for adoption' but nobody ever thinks of what that puts a woman through. Nine months of growing a human being. Feeling it move and kick and having to see it on sonograms. Bonding with it whether you want to or not. Having to pick from thousands of prospective parents and decide which ones would be the best to hand your literal child off to for the rest of their life. Grueling hours of labor just to be left with nothing but emptiness after all that time."

She paused, glancing down in her lap as she took a deep breath.

"You know, mothers who give babies up for adoption still have to heal? Their bodies don't know that the baby is gone, so they still make milk. They still feel those bonding hormones. Imagine having to hand your kid over to someone and yet you're reminded every single day by your own body that they're gone." She stopped, turning to look at Elliot with sadness yet seriousness. "I don't have that in me, that takes strength that I just don't have."

He nodded again, taking her words in as she spoke. He was ashamed that he hadn't given her the benefit of the doubt. He was wrong to think that she hadn't thought of every painstaking detail and taken them into account.

He needed to work on that part of himself, he knew that.

"This was never something I wanted to even have to consider," she gulped. "I made a stupid mistake and I will pay for it for the rest of my life. I'll probably feel guilty, every woman who goes through this feels it differently. Some feel guilt, some feel relief. I feel both. My mother ruined my life, I won't do that to a kid of my own, and I don't have the ability to conquer either of the other options right now. So, I'll live with the guilt. I'll live with the feeling of being selfish. But this is the best I can do."

After that, they drove in the thick of the silence. Olivia drowning in her own words while Elliot replayed them in his head. His grip on the steering wheel suddenly had a new sense of purpose; she was right. If anyone needed this, it was her. So, he'd be there to help deliver this second chance to her.

___

"This is the motel?" Elliot asked, raising a brow as he eyed the flickering lights on the neon sign. They were finally done with the bulk of the driving, still an hour outside of where they were meant to be. Both of them were ready to pass out from exhaustion as they pulled in.

"Sure is!" Olivia quipped. "I stayed here a while back when my mom went on a bender in Atlantic City. Her ex boyfriend and I spent two whole days looking for her. It's not a bad motel!"

He stared at her, cocking his head in disbelief. "Olivia,"

"Okay, it sucks," she admitted. "But it's cheap and it does the job. You can sleep in Ol' Reliable if you want, but I'm crashing on a mattress. You coming?" She punctuated her sentence with the door shutting, her duffle bag thrown over her arm as Elliot followed.

They trailed along the parking lot of the rather horrific looking motel, Olivia leading the way as if it were just another average Saturday for her. She swung the front door open, instantly hit with the smell of stale coffee and cigarettes coming from the desk clerk. Elliot's eyes glanced around the room, trying to solve the mystery of where the muzak was playing from.

Despite the clerk looking directly at them, Olivia rang the bell several times while staring right at him. Elliot hung his head in embarrassment before taking in the sight of the clerk. He was probably in his late 40's, looked as if he was a trucker in a past life or even this one. Elliot mentally noted the gross stains down the white tank top that peeked beneath the bowling shirt, and the thin gold chain on top of it..

"Can I help you?" the man asked, moving the rather soiled toothpick between his lips to the other side of his mouth.

"Yes, you can..." she squinted her eyes at the name tag patch on his shirt. "Mervin. We'll take one of your finest rooms available, or pretty much any room with two beds and the least amount of roaches as possible."

Mervin stared at her, unmoving as he eyed the both of them. He flicked the toothpick once more before finally speaking. "No doubles available," he stated simply.

Olivia huffed as she shot him an incredulous look. "What do you mean you don't have any doubles? We're in the middle of fucking nowhere, you mean to tell me you were just about to hang the 'no vacancy' sign?"

"Must be all of the roaches got to them first," he retorted.

"Yeah, or the damn spring breakers looking to save their money for the casinos so they pick the cheapest dump on the south end of Jersey as their home base," she grumbled, lolling her head to the other shoulder. "You know what, Merv? Fine. How about a room with a queen size? Got any of those, or did the roaches get them too?"

"Liv," Elliot warned under his breath. He knew she was one sore comment away from the both of them being kicked out.

"Fine, Queen bed it is. Room 204" Mervin replied with a creepy grin, slowly sliding the key over the counter before pulling it back. "That'll be $89 for the night."

"Ugh, of course." she groaned, reaching into her pocket and pulling out a wad of cash large enough to make both Elliot and Mervin's eyes blow wide.

She counted under her breath the dollars that flipped through her fingers before reaching the agreed amount. "That's a lot of money for a kid your age," Mervin commented as she stuffed the remaining bundle back in her pocket.

"Yeah, robbing a bank has its perks, like living in the height of luxury," she replied without missing a beat. "Here, take $90. Keep the change as a tip for your lovely service," she grumbled as she snagged the key from the counter.

The ding of the cash register opening filled the air as Olivia regained her grip on her duffle and the bags of snacks. Mervin smirked as he counted the cash on his own once they started to turn away."Don't have too much fun, kids."

"Don't worry, Merv, I'm already knocked up!" Olivia called out, not bothering to turn her head as she continued trekking on. Once the door shut behind them, she heard a deep exhale come from Elliot. "He seems like a real stand-up kinda guy."

Elliot took the bags from her, throwing them over his shoulder as they walked down the row of doors. "We're gonna die here, Olivia. If not from the hepatitis that Mervin just breathed out into my nostrils, then it'll be from the jonesing crackheads behind the dumpsters."

"Oh, calm down," she rolled her eyes. "Don't be such a puss. Besides, I've got the power of God and pepper spray on my side."

Finally, they'd reached their room. Elliot nearly braced himself as she turned the key and opened it. It wasn't... too bad. Well, compared to what his fears were, it wasn't. There weren't any dead bodies or obvious bodily fluids everywhere. Olivia marched in the room, taking a deep sigh as her arms fell down to her hips. "Home sweet home."

"Yeah, are those cigarette burns in the wood panelling on the wall?" Elliot cringed, setting down the duffle on the nearest semi-clean surface.

"Probably," she shrugged, turning to face him with a smirk. "I think it adds character to the room! Y'know, like It's really been lived in. So many stories to be told of this room."

"So many hookers having been paid in this room," Elliot grumbled under his breath. "So, you take the bed, I'll take the floor?"

Olivia rolled her eyes before staring at him. "Seriously? What, are you afraid of popping a boner if you lay next to me?" Elliot glared at the joke that he didn't find all that funny. "We'll share the bed, Elliot. I promise, I won't give you cooties. Plus, I'm already pregnant so what's the worst that could happen?"

"No, it's not that," he'd closed his eyes, unable to handle the flooding sensation of being overwhelmed. "I — I want you to be comfortable and the floor doesn't seem too —"

"Elliot," Olivia interrupted, her voice completely deadpanned.

"Yes?"

"Shut the fuck up and get on the other side of the bed."

He caved, nodding with defeat as he climbed on top of the bed while she did too. Neither of them bothered to change into pajamas, but rather just laid awkwardly on their own respective sides of the bed. Olivia was nearly convinced that Elliot was going to fall off of the edge from how far away he was. However, it was better than him being on the floor.

She saw no reason why they couldn't share the damn bed. She couldn't count how many times he had been to her place and fell asleep on her bed while studying. Although, even she had to admit that this was different.

It was always different with him. It was always a strange sense of intimacy that she couldn't understand. How they so easily fell into a rhythm and how it took another person to break that rhythm. She shifted against the scratchy covers, suddenly feeling so small in the bed, and maybe even the world.

___

An hour had passed, and an hour short lived. She hadn't been able to sleep for more than 15 minutes, whether it was nerves or just a never-ending race of thoughts, she wasn't sure. She didn't bother tossing and turning, fearing that Elliot could be asleep on the other side. Although, she had noticed that he was slightly closer to her on his side of the bed.

Without turning her whole body, she craned her neck around to see if he was awake. There was nothing but the rhythmic rise and fall of deep breaths coming from his body. She wouldn't be able to sleep until she answered the pestering question in her mind.

"Elliot," she whispered, rolling over to face him. He didn't move or even so much as flinch. "Elliot," she tried again, raising her volume a little.

"Hmph.. wh- what? What's wrong?" he sputtered awake, rubbing his fists in his tired eyes. "You okay?"

"Why did you wanna sleep on the floor?" she asked.

As soon as his sight became more clear, he stared at her with a purely incredulous expression. "Seriously, Liv? Now? You've woken me up to ask me that?"

"It's a simple question!" she argued back. "Why? Why was the idea of being fully clothed in the same bed as me for nothing but sleeping purposes such a bad thing?"

"Sleeping purposes sounds really good right now since I was driving for several hours," he rolled his eyes, slumping down flat on his back. "I don't even know, Liv. I figured you'd be more comfortable with the bed to yourself."

"I had to get comfortable with a lot by myself," she muttered under her breath, barely loud enough for him to hear.

Elliot's brows furrowed at the comment. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You never hang out with me anymore..." she huffed, sitting up and crossing her arms over her chest. "Not since you've started dating Miss Puritanical Princess."

Elliot sat up too, glaring at her. "Don't call her that."

"What?" Olivia snorted, her face dropping into one that offered no sympathy. "The Queen of the Debutante Chastity Ball can't handle a little nickname? Does it twist her training bra the wrong way?"

"You know, she's really nice if you'd bother to get to know her."

Olivia gave a sarcastic laugh, feeling her blood start to boil. She knew that her defensive snark was going to rise in her voice whether she wanted it to or not. "No, thanks. There's already a fetal parasite sucking the life out of me via my endometrial cavity. The last thing I need in my life is the same thing from Prudy Blume, because the difference is I can't get rid of that one."

Elliot shook his head in disbelief. "She's never done anything bad to you, Liv."

She scuffed. "Why are you even with her anyway?" she asked, her head dropping down as she picked at the fraying duvet cover. "You're way too good for her."

Elliot gulped, feeling the sudden pause in the moment. "Wh-what?"

"You heard me," Olivia barked. "She changed you, and it's gotta take someone with Helen Keller levels of blindness not to see that. There's no doubt in my mind that her daddy plucked you right out of her yearbook and said 'That's the one for you, Sunshine!' because why else would she suddenly be interested in you?"

Elliot's nose turned up at that. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Don't be thick, Elliot." Olivia's hands fell down to her thighs with a smack. "She used to talk shit about us all the time. She and her pathetic popularity chasers would never shut the hell up about me and they dragged you into it because you were my friend! Then, it was like she could smell the moment your testicles dropped and the football captain pheromones took control of her and she couldn't keep her hands off of you!"

A brief pause lingered between the two of them.

"You sound jealous," he smirked.

She sneered, her head rolling to the side as she turned to look at him. "Yeah, that's rich coming from the guy who almost blew a gasket when he found out that I fucked Cassidy!"

"I don't give a fuck about Cassidy!" Elliot's volume rose, pulling him away from his cockiness and sending him into anger.

"Then why are you here?" she screamed back.

"Because my friend asked for my help!"

"Bullshit!" Olivia shouted, standing up off the bed and facing him. "You call me jealous? Well, it must take one to know one because here you are, sacrificing your moral fucking compass so I can hop into those stirrups and call it a day, huh? So, why are you really here, Elliot?"

He stared at her in disbelief, and he could see as clear as day that her cheeks were red with anger and her eyes were watery with sadness. He didn't answer her question, and she knew he wouldn't. It was because there simply wasn't an answer. At least not one that could be spoken aloud.

"You know what, fuck this," she breathed, shaking her head before violently grabbing one of the snack bags from off the table. "I need some air."With that, the door slammed behind her, leaving a frazzled Elliot behind. He gulped, looking around the room as he tried to process what had just happened.

___

An hour had passed since Olivia had stormed off and Elliot had decided to stay in the room. He knew it was in his best interest to allow her the space she needed — and he didn't want the broken arm that could come from pissing her off again.

However, he'd tossed and turned on her question. He was here to be a friend, that's what he was supposed to do, right? Be a friend? She'd asked for help, and against all of his better judgement and beliefs, he'd agreed. Despite whatever guilt it would bring him later, no matter how many hours would come to be spent in the confessional, he'd agreed.

Finally deciding that she had been gone for too long, he hauled himself out of bed. As soon as he opened the door, the sound of crickets in the distance filled his ears. He wasn't used to the silence, neither was she.

"Olivia?" He called in a whisper. "Liv, are you out here?" He looked around and towards the parking lot, seeing his vehicle had been untampered. She wasn't there like he had suspected.

Suddenly, he felt something pelt against his head. He rubbed the part of his scalp that was hit, looking down into his hand. "What the hell?" he mumbled to himself. "Liv?"

Another plink hit him, too hard to be a drop of rain. He looked up in the direction it was coming from and spotted Olivia. She was sitting on the rooftop of the motel, her back against the buzzing sign. She held a bag of candy in her hands, raising her arm to throw a third piece at him.

"The hell are you doing up there?" he asked, staring up at her blank expression.

"Eatin' candy. Throwin' candy. Having a philosophical debate with what seems to be a raccoon up here, or maybe it's a skunk. We'll find out soon enough. I figured your sleeping purposes were best left undisturbed," she smirked, cocking her head in the slightest.

"Look, I'm sorry," his hands fell down to his sides. "I was an ass and I didn't mean to be."

"Nah," she replied, tossing a skittle in the air and catching it in her mouth. "It's my fault. But instead of getting all sappy about it, I'm just gonna blame it on the hormones, okay?"

"Fair enough," he chuckled. "So, can I come up?"

"Sure, the ladder is around the back. But keep your grubby paws off of my candy, alright?" She laughed and chucked another piece at him, watching him feign being hurt by it. A few seconds later, she heard the rhythmic clinking of his shoes on the metal ladder.

"It's quiet out here," she commented as he sat down next to her, also leaning his tired body against the motel's sign. "And it doesn't smell as strongly of urine like it does in New York."

"Is this what camping feels like?" he asked, ignoring her rules about the candy and grabbing a packet from the bag she had brought. "Or glamping at least? Glam camping, is that it?"

She chuckled, tossing another skittle and catching it. "Sure. Glamping works. I mean, you got the stars, the sky, the trees. What else do you need?"

"A tent,"

"I think the motel room is what constitutes the glam part, even though I'm almost 98% certain someone has died in that room," she replied, an obvious shiver running down her spine. "I guess next time I'm in Jersey I'll stay at the Hilton instead or something."

A beat of silence passed between the two of them as they ate their junk food. Elliot's head hung low, staring down into his lap. "I'm sorry, Liv."

She lurched backwards, turning her head cautiously to look at him "For what?"

"For not hanging out a lot anymore. I guess we kinda... drifted."

She nodded once, mimicking his motion of staring down blankly into her lap. "Yeah..." She didn't want to start the fight all over again, spouting off about how every free moment he had was spent with Kathy and not even a second thought was in her direction. "I guess it didn't really help that I was pulling away too, y'know."

"Nah, I get it," he whispered.

"It's just..." she paused, hesitating on how painful it was to get the words out. "I just feel so much damn pressure. Everyone at school knows me as the wildcard. None of them know that I have straight A's, none of them know that I work hard and I try to be smart. So for once, I just wanted to let it all fucking go! You've been to my house, Elliot, you know what it's like there. I'm expected to be perfect and nothing short of it. It got to me... here I am."

"My mom drove me into a telephone pole." Elliot blurted out. "Broke my arm and everything. You're the only friend I ever dare to have over."

Olivia just barely glanced towards him, trying to hide her shock. "Not even Kitty Kat?"

"Nope," he shook his head. "You're the only one who's even met my mom. She likes you, y'know. But I always figured that with the two of us, we were so used to our own home life insanity, we could handle the other one's. It's hard not to run away from it all."

She didn't wanna tell him how right he was. If she did, it meant that she would have to admit how alone she felt when he was doing his so-called drifting. "I ran too far," she laughed coldly. "All the way to fuckin' Jersey. Look at me, Elliot. I'm sitting on a motel roof in Jersey in the middle of the night with an abortion apointment in a few hours! I just wanted five minutes to not feel so damn alone and constricted."

"I know," Elliot brushed a stray piece of her hair behind her ear before looking back up at the sky. "I never meant to drift, Olivia. I don't think I even realized how much I was drifting away from our friendship."

She didn't have a response for that; there was no anger nor was there forgiveness either. He was here, that mattered. She could sense his guilt, it was louder than his words. He blamed himself for this, fearing his drifting may have been what pushed her to drop everything and go wild. For all she knew, maybe it was the truth.

"Alright, I think I've had enough air," she sighed, pushing herself up to her feet. "I'll take the bed, you take the floor."

"What the fuck?" Elliot scowled as he stood up. "Just earlier you threw a temper tantrum about me sleeping on the floor!"

"Yeah, I changed my mind," she smirked, climbing down the ladder.