A/N: Hi everyone! Here's the latest chapter for Luke and Max. Hope you like it! :)

I easily lost track of the number of songs the band played, much like I lost track of the number of drinks I had. Sadly, even tipsy, I was still more self-aware than I would’ve liked. I still noticed the uncomfortable, lonely distance between me and Luke. I still noticed the countless women he’d flirted with throughout the whole gig. 

He and Ryan came up to where Jillian and I were, close enough but not too close since she and I were practically halfway up the stage. Jillian was much more of a lightweight than I was, even though I didn’t drink much. Three drinks in and she was already swaying and being even more sassy. By the fifth drink, she was about to go out like a light and Ryan came over and hauled her up against him, taking her back to his seat at a nearby table with Luke. He cut her off from any more alcohol and ordered her to only drink water which she pouted about. As much as I wanted to stay with Jillian, I stayed where I was, determined to keep my distance from Luke. He kept to himself just as well as I did, which was fine with me.

I was singing along with the band when I felt big hands settle on my hip.

I glanced over my shoulder and saw this guy of average height but not so average width smiling at me and not so subtly trying to grind against me. The muscles he had packed on suggested he was obsessed with the gym and the overconfident grin on his face told me I should somehow appreciate that. He wasn’t bad-looking but I harbored no interest in getting to know his muscles really well so I smiled politely and inched away until his hands slipped off my hips.

Those muscles must’ve taken over his brain too because he didn’t take the hint. Instead, he just edged closer, his paws reaching for me again. This time, my spine steeling with sheer annoyance, I shoved my hand against his rock-hard chest. It hurt, it honestly did, but it did send him back a step especially since I kept my throbbing wrist straight and my hand steady against this wall of a man. 

“Your hands and other bodily parts are not welcome on any part of my person so keep them to yourself,” I warned in a low, angry tone that strangely carried over the loud noise. Shoulders squaring, I thrust my chin up, pulled my hand back and waved it dismissively at him. “Now, step aside and let me through.”

Just then, I could see Luke heading my way, his face dark and stony. 

He was angry and he was probably fancying himself my protector. 

“I’m just having fun, missy,” Wall-Man said, holding his hands up in mock surrender and grinning goofily. “No need to get your panties up in a twist.”

Hazy heat seeped through my eyes at the mention of panties because seriously, couldn’t people just leave the underwear alone?

“No need to make it obvious that you so desperately want to wear one under all those extra-tight clothes,”I hissed, whacking the back of my arm against the man’s abdomen, which was no softer than his chest, as I stormed my way past him. 

Nothing felt broken or seriously bruised but my entire right arm was now throbbing and I clutched it close to me as I shouldered my way through the crowd. 

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a pair of hands grabbed me by the shoulders.

“What is it with everyone manhandling me tonight?” I demanded as I looked up into Luke’s furious face. “Am I wearing an invitation for it or what?”

I wasn’t drunk but I sure as hell sound uninhibited now. 

I glared at him, mad because I didn’t mind his hands on me when I was freaking out with Wall-Man, and because he was mad at me and the questions I had to ask. 

“In that outfit, yes, you are,” Luke shot back before his arms locked around me. A man bumped into him and Luke threw him a warning look before dragging me away into a less crowded spot on the side. “I can nearly see your lungs in that shirt.”

I raised a brow. “It’s not a shirt and whatever pair you’re staring at, they’re sure not my lungs.”

The top wasn’t transparent but the lacy pattern of my black bra wasn’t hard to miss even though the statement necklace was supposed to keep the attention off of them. I’d lost some weight over the years but I was always going to stay on the curvy side and neither the top nor the necklace hid my generous cups.

And apparently, Luke wasn’t blind to them either because despite his righteous anger, his gaze dropped to my chest for a second before he looked back up at me with a darker scowl. 

“And you wonder why you’re getting hassled when your goods are clearly advertised,” he retorted. 

“I’m in marketing,” was my stupid, indignant reply to which Luke just raised a brow. Frustrated that I couldn’t quite articulate whatever it was niggling under my skin, I wiggled myself out of his arms. “I need some fresh air. Or the headache-inducing alternative that the poorly-vented, cheap-perfume-and-hairspray-filled ladies’ room could offer.”

“I’ll walk you outside so you can catch a breath.”

At the state of my rapidly increasing heart rate, I wasn’t going to catch my breath around Luke anytime at all. 

“I’d prefer inhaling slightly toxic chemicals, I think, thank you,” I muttered, trying to dodge him as I headed for the bathroom. “Go back to whichever girl of the hour you were busy with. It appears you have a flirting marathon tonight.” 

I bit back a curse because my comment sounded more jealous than snarky, which was probably accurate, actually. Alcohol—the average man’s truth serum.

“Is this just how you are after a few drinks?” Luke, as if reading my mind, blurted out, planting himself in my path and crossing his arms over his chest. “Or are you just mad at me?”

“Mad at you?” I repeated, staring at him in disbelief. “I’m mad at you? You were the one who stormed off this morning.”

He frowned. “Because clearly, wanting to just spend time with you wasn’t a good enough reason for me to stick around.”

I narrowed my eyes, suddenly alert. “You want to have this conversation now? ‘Coz we can, even if I’m a wee bit tipsy.”

Luke sighed and shook his head. “No, we’re not having this conversation right now. You’re still mad at me and I still want to slug that guy so it’s just going to get ugly. What we need to do is go home.”

“But the show’s not even over yet,” I protested. “My feet might be killing me and I’m about to burst out of these pants in my next breath but I came here to have a good time and that’s what I’m having.”

A faint smile curved on Luke’s mouth and it looked somewhat amused but also a bit sad. In the dark, with only strobe lights illuminating his face, it amazed me that I could clearly see his troubled eyes and realize how I wanted to just hug him. 

“Are you really having a good time, Max?” he asked softly.

I’m actually quite miserable but if I tell you that, you’re going to know more than I can tell you.

“I guess Jill’s pretty sauced,” I said instead, glancing over my shoulder to where Ryan had an arm around Jillian whose head lolled around his shoulder. Her eyes were closed, her cheeks pasty, and Ryan was frowning in concern as he pushed some of her dark locks off her face. She could never handle her drink, which was why she would never go out by herself or with other people she didn’t trust. “We should probably take her home.”

“Come on,” Luke said, taking my hand all of a sudden. To my eternal secret resentment, my fingers instinctively laced through his as I let him lead us back to the table.

“Is she going to be okay?” I asked Ryan the moment we got back. His eyes had lowered to where mine and Luke’s hands were joined but he didn’t make a fuss about it. “She passed out much earlier than her usual.”

Ryan arched a brow. “Considering how fast you two were chugging down cocktails, I’m not surprised.”

It was my fault, really, because I was reaching for one drink after another like a moron who should’ve known better. Alcohol didn’t make people numb—it made them stupid. 

“I’ll take care of the bill,” Luke said, waving at a passing waitress. “Then we’ll carry Jillian out.”

“I can help Ryan with her,” I announced, picking up Jill’s clutch. “We’re all carpooling anyway.”

“We’ll wait for you out front, man,” Ryan said as he slipped off his chair and tucked the snoozing Jill to his side. “I’ll give you a ride home. You’re just a few blocks away from me.”

Luke nodded his agreement and without another delay, Ryan and I dragged Jillian through the throng of people. When it was clear that she wasn’t really anything else but an awkward deadweight, he sighed and picked her up in his arms, carrying her the rest of the way through. 

We slipped her into the backseat and let her rest her head on my lap. Ryan drove toward the entrance, put his flashers on and parked right across the front door.

“I’m sorry for ruining everyone’s night,” I piped up in the dark silence of the car. “I’m not sure what’s going on with me.”

“He’s what’s going on with you,” Ryan remarked quietly just as Luke emerged from the bar. “He’s a good friend, Max, and so are you. I’m not sure what the two of you are doing but the last thing I want is for you to hurt each other.”

“That is what we’re doing—trying not to hurt each other,” I mumbled in a low, flat voice, watching the play of the evening lights on Luke’s face as he neared. I couldn’t tell if Ryan heard me because he revved the engine back up and faint blues music played through the speakers. I, on the other hand, had no trouble feeling the words on my lips and the whispered quality to the sound of them under my breath. “It’s just having the opposite effect, I think.”

I didn’t want to fight with Luke. 

The short week he’d been in my life had been the best time I’ve had in recent history. It was that very fact that scared me a little. If all I was doing was walking through a revolving door of women in Luke’s life, this happy time would pass very quickly and I wasn’t sure I wanted to go all the way up only to hit the ground with lethal velocity. 

“To the hospital or just home for Jillian?” Luke said as he slipped into the passenger seat in front. He looked over his shoulder to glance down at Jillian in concern. “We should probably try to keep her on a one-drink maximum next time.”

“She’s a lightweight and she knows it,” Ryan said as he pulled out toward the exit. “But tonight, I think she was just keeping someone company.”

Luke’s gaze swerved up and smacked right into mine and I could tell he knew what Ryan meant. I glanced down at Jillian and gently brushed her hair back with my fingers.

“She’s a good friend when I wasn’t a very good one to her tonight,” I said. “But that’s not really the point.”

“What is?” Luke asked. 

I looked up and smiled softly. “My grandfather would always say that we can’t do much about the people who care about us. They’re going to do it anyway, whether it was smart or not. It’s up to us to be what they deserve. Who we are to them is the measure of what they mean to us.”

Luke’s face was inscrutable in the dark interior of the car, thin shafts of street light barely catching on the angles of his cheeks and jaw. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. But maybe I didn’t really want to know.

“Fuck,” Ryan said with a small groan after a long pause in the conversation. “That’s too deep for one in the morning.”

I giggled, the tight nervous feeling in my gut loosening. “You’re right. Sorry. My grandfather was the type to sit with his cup of tea after dinner and brood. I joined him a lot over the years. I can get broody like an old man, no problem.”

Even Luke smiled. “I don’t think there’s anything old or manly about you, Max, thank God.”

We all laughed and the mood in the car had lifted since then. I happily said nothing as I held Jillian’s clammy hand all the way to her apartment while Luke and Ryan chatted casually about a bunch of random things, the faint music still playing in the background. I felt better for first time since my fight with Luke this morning. 

Jillian lived in the second floor of a four-story apartment with practically no street parking so we had to pull over at the end of the block. Ryan scooped her up and carried her the whole way through with me fiddling with her keys and Luke holding doors open for us. 

As soon as Ryan deposited Jillian in bed, I went to take off her shoes and jacket to get her as comfortable as possible. I gently cleaned up her face with some makeup wipes and was getting her a glass of water in the kitchen when Luke and I heard Ryan groan and swear loudly from inside the bedroom.

Glancing at each other with possibly identically confused expressions, we marched over to see an already shirtless Ryan just as he was chucking off his jeans.

“Whoa! What is going on?” I said as my hand flew to cover my eyes. My arm jerked forward a little as I bumped the door lightly and Luke carefully pried the glass of water from my grasp. I heard the light thud of him setting it down somewhere safe. “Why the hell are you stripping, Ryan?”

Luke sounded amused. “Jill looks pretty out of it, man. Not sure she can appreciate the view you’re giving her.”

“She’s not out of it enough because she just puked all over me as I was trying to fix her damn pillows. My clothes smell of rancid tequila and gastric acid, thank you very much.”

I slid my hand down a little just to peek at Ryan but Luke immediately covered my hand with his, his arm snaking around my shoulders from behind me and effectively blocking my already obscured view. 

“No looking, Max,” he said and I could hear the dull rustling of fabric. “Ryan’s got nothing you’re interested in.”

“Let me be the judge of that,” I grumbled, shaking his hand off, my sense of modesty gone. But Ryan was already covered in Jillian’s electric pink terry cloth robe. It was a bit oversized for her but it barely covered the full length of Ryan’s arms and legs. 

He looked so ridiculous and I grinned. “That color is totally you. Goes with the blond hair perfectly.”

“Thanks, Max,” he retorted dryly, grabbing his dirty clothes from the floor. “You’re helping my masculine pride’s speedy recovery.”

“What are you going to do, man? Drive home in a pink robe?” Luke laughed but sobered up when Ryan glared at him. 

“We still need to clean her up,” he said, motioning to the wet spot on Jillian’s covers. “Or she’s going to inhale her own vomit all night.”

Snapping to attention, I headed for the bathroom to grab some paper towels and nearly ran right into the stacked laundry set up just outside of it.

“Ry, Jill has a washer and dryer by the bathroom,” I told him when I returned to wipe off Jillian’s covers. “You can throw your clothes in there in speed wash or something.”

“I’ll make some tea for us or something and we can sit and chat while we wait,” I volunteered after I finished wiping gently around Jillian’s mouth. Other than a sleepy whimper when I was disturbing her face, she was totally out of it.

Luke gave me a dubious look. “We’re kind of invading her place.”

I shrugged. “I’m sure Jill won’t mind. I hang out with her here a lot. Besides, we’re trying to take care of her.”

Ryan sighed and started taking out his stuff from his jeans’ pockets. “Alright. I’ll find you guys in the kitchen.”

Luke followed me again to the small U-shaped kitchen where I filled a kettle with some water. Luke found us some mismatched mugs while I rummaged through the cupboards Jillian had specifically allocated to be a small pantry and hunted for some tea bags and some kind of sweet snack.

We worked like we’d done this countless times before. The few times we had when we puttered around my kitchen last week didn’t seem that much but clearly we’d become naturals at this.

While the water was boiling, Luke motioned to one of the high stools on the breakfast bar next to where he sat. “Sit down, will you? Your feet are red and swollen. You can wait sitting down.”

My face flushed but I couldn’t help but glance down at my bare feet. I’d happily kicked my shoes off at the door so they weren’t torturing me too much anymore but my feet looked and felt about twice their normal size.

“I can’t,” I said as I took out a small plate to put some sugar cookies on. “My pants are going to rip if I do. These were purchased with the condition that one’s not allowed to breathe or do any strenuous activity in them.”

“They look like they’re cutting off more than just your oxygen supply,” Luke mused. “It looks like your blood flow’s getting cut off too from the waist up.”

I realized instantly that with the position I was in, hunched over the lower cupboard of Jillian’s makeshift pantry returning the box of cookies, the thin, sheer fabric of my blouse clung to the swell of my belly spilling over the band of my pants. My face grew even hotter as I slowly straightened, trying not to make a big deal out of it. 

“It’s the price of fashion,” I said lamely, avoiding his gaze as I tried not to breathe too loosely so I could hold my stomach in. 

Luke rolled his eyes. “That’s stupid. Why don’t you just buy pants that are the right size? They would look good and feel comfortable.”

“Because packaging makes all the difference, Luke, and you know that,” I practically growled, wishing we could talk about something else but issues I’d rather avoid right at this moment when I felt and looked like a hot mess—my face shiny, my hair flat and scraggly and my clothes feeling like Cling wrap. 

“No one has to be actually perfect—one just has to appear so,” I added. “When the world finally sees us that way, we’ll become more confident until we actually believe we might just be as close to perfect as possible. Package something to look incredible and everyone will think it is.”

“Don’t use marketing shit on this, Max,” Luke snapped, quite vehemently, actually. He suddenly yanked me toward him, one arm locking around me and his other moving to the space between us.

I forgot to breathe when his hand found its way under my top, his fingers tugging at the button on my waistband. In seconds, he had the button undone, the zipper edging lower until he pushed the little metal flap on it downward so it would lock in place. I didn’t have to wonder why he had such a deft hand at getting women undressed—or at least halfway there.

“Now, breathe,” he murmured, his face so close to mine. 

I didn’t want to because his hand was resting on my bare stomach but there was a kindness in his eyes that broke down my defenses. With a sigh, I squeezed my eyes shut and exhaled, secretly relishing the physical freedom and accepting the uncomfortable but liberating truth that Luke knew I wasn’t perfect. Not that I had any illusions that he thought I was. But around beautiful people, it was always hard to know you weren’t, no matter how much pep talk you put yourself through. The truth would always feel like a prickle you couldn’t shake off. 

But while I wasn’t beautiful, I could at least be brave sometimes and right now, despite the faded makeup and pants that were just way too tight, I had a little bit of courage left.

Slowly, I opened my eyes.

Luke smiled, letting his warm hand linger on my lightly rounded belly, before lifting it away and adjusting my top back down almost reverently so that it covered my undone fly like no one would be the wiser.

“Feel better?” he asked, lifting his hand until the back of his fingers brushed the stray lock of hair off my cheek. 

I nodded, lowering my eyes as I layered my admission. “About the pants, sure. About everything else, I don’t know.”

The slight change of pressure of his hand on the small of my back reminded me that I was still in the half-circle of his arms and I dragged my gaze back up to his face. His bright, flame-blue eyes were serious, the sharp lines of his jaw stark in the shadows as his face tensed. 

“I’m sorry about this morning,” he said softly. “I’m not used to not having answers, especially to questions I’ve never even asked myself before.”

I smiled. “I realized that this morning. Tonight, I’m starting to think that maybe we don’t need the answers right at this moment.”

His eyes brightened with a hint of amusement. “Is that so?”

I smacked him playfully on the shoulder. “Hey, I figured that if I’m not better at giving answers, then maybe you don’t owe me any either.”

“Sounds fair and logical,” he murmured and I could hear the laughter in his voice now.

“I like things that make sense, Luke,” I said, sounding more serious than I realized I was. “Except that in your case, I like you better than I like logic.” 

“And that’s got you running scared, hasn’t it?”

A small, nervous laugh escaped me. “I believe you can personally attest to the fact that I’m not anywhere else but right here with you.”

“Hmm, I can,” he said, his other arm sliding around my waist, just on top of where his other one was already wrapped around me. “And you right here actually feels pretty perfect.”

We were so close to each other, with me standing between his knees and inside the circle of his arms, my own resting against his chest. I could feel the steady but rapid beating of his heart, the feathery brush of his warm breath on my cheek. 

I would only have to lean in and our lips would touch. It would be so easy, especially with the way his blue eyes pierced me with a dark but intimate look. 

Yes, it would be so easy but it would cost you so much, Max. Stay within the lines, what of them you can still see.

“Can we be friends again?” I asked, cursing myself at the reminder and realizing I hated the necessity of it. 

Luke nodded, a faint smile on his lips. “We’re still friends, Max. That didn’t change this morning just because we got snappy with each other.”

I grinned, mentally grabbing the line to draw me back to a safer distance. “Good, because I have a feeling that’s not going to be the last time we’ll get on each other’s nerves.”

He laughed and eased back, his arms drawing away to free me. “I have a feeling I’ll get on yours more than you’ll be on mine.”

“I’ll do my best to make sure we keep it equal,” I said cheekily as I stepped away to check back on the electric kettle that had long shut off after the water reached boiling. “Now, come on. Let’s get Ryan his cup before he’s a senior citizen.”

We headed back to the bedroom, passing the washer as clothes thumped loudly inside it, and found Ryan snoring softly from a corner armchair at the foot of the bed. He was still in the pink robe, his hair rumpled, his hands folded together over his chest, his legs stretched out and his feet propped up on the corner of the bed. He was sleeping like a baby, about as out of it as Jillian was.

Luke and I looked at each other.

He shrugged and I set down the cup of hot tea on a spot by Jillian’s cluttered desk right next to the armchair. 

“He’s not going to like it if we leave him here sleeping,” I said as we stepped out of the room and closed the door. 

“He told me he practically drove to Sonic with you straight from the airport. The guy’s wiped out so while he may be grumpy later, he’ll thank us for it,” Luke said as we went back to the kitchen to clear stuff away while finishing our tea. 

It was almost three in the morning when we decided that there was no rousing Ryan and that we should just probably see ourselves out.

“Are you sure you can wear those?” Luke asked as I slipped on my pumps. “It might be a while before we can flag down a cab.”

“My feet had some rest so I’ll probably be okay for another hour or so,” I assured him as I followed him out to the hall, setting the internal lock on the door before closing it behind me. “That should be enough time to get us home.”

“It depends on whether you feel like sushi,” Luke said with a mischievous smile. “I know a place that’s open twenty-four hours with fresh sushi around the clock. I’m starving.”

He had that boyish expression on his face again that I just sighed. “Fine, let’s go. As long a they have chairs, I’ll be fine.”

It took about fifteen minutes to get a cab and about another fifteen to make it to the city wharf where fresh catch came in on all hours of the day. The sushi place was a tiny, narrow informal restaurant of some sort with only a long bar for seating. It looked like an afterthought being next door to a wet market where early customers from various kitchens in the city were already busy shopping. While it smelled of fish and the salty ocean, it was clean and orderly with an extensive sushi menu.

We were the only people there at that time and we ordered a small platter of assorted sushi rolls and a bottle of sake to share. The sushi tasted like it was from a high-end Japanese restaurant instead of a cramped dockside one and the sake was a new experience for me that might take a little getting used to.

We were stuffed and slightly bubbly when we came out of there. The sky was already illuminated with the faintest hints of light and even though it was about to be a late summer morning, there was a nip in the air. Neither Luke nor I had a jacket so he put his arm around my shoulders and tucked me close to his side as we slowly walked along the dock to the exit of the wharf where we could flag down a taxi. 

It was the last place on earth to briefly wonder at the beauty of the world but it was hard not to.

The dark indigo of the sky was being slowly lifted by a narrow and faint band of pink and gold at the horizon and from where we stood, we could see the lights of downtown as the city slept. 

We didn’t talk much as we walked. 

The noise all around us played like a soundtrack—the heaving mechanisms of the fishing boats as they unloaded their catch, busy footsteps on wood and wet rock, the fast, lively chorus of voices, the flapping wings of the seagulls, the waves thrashing against concrete and wooden legs of the dock that had become encrusted with barnacles over the years.

For a chaotic scene, our walk felt oddly peaceful and almost… romantic. 

Yeah, not the word I would choose but the only one that fit the moment, especially when Luke and I stopped at the end of the dock, just before we got off it, to look around one last time and breathe in the scent of this memory, his arm tightening around me.

“Let’s go home, Max,” he said, pressing a kiss on the crown of my head. 

“Yes, let’s go home.”

We found a taxi soon enough and I pretty much dozed off in the backseat with Luke. 

I was so sleepy that I didn’t even ask why he paid off the cab when we got to my apartment. He followed me up and in the spirit of asking no questions tonight, I said nothing as I kicked off my shoes, grabbed some makeup wipes to clean my face and marched to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

He popped his head in and with no further conversation, I handed him a spare toothbrush still in its packaging. We brushed our teeth together, fighting to keep our eyes open. 

I left him rinsing in the bathroom and changed out of my clothes in the small walk-in closet. I stepped out in an old pair of shorts and a T-shirt and found Luke stretched out on one side of my bed, his eyes closed and the covers kicked out of the way. 

It occurred to me that Ryan was sleeping at Jillian’s place and now Luke had dozed off in mine but I was too tired, too sleepy and too happy to contemplate it any further. 

I climbed into bed, pulled the covers over Luke and murmured goodnight before turning on my side opposite him to finally go to sleep.

My heavy eyes had just fluttered close when the bed shifted and I felt Luke curl behind me, his arm sliding over my waist. 

“Sweet dreams, Max,” he whispered so quietly I barely heard it, his chin tucking against my shoulder.

I smiled, knowing that after tonight there were only more questions than answers and that for the first time in my life, I was alright with that. 

***

So, what do you guys think? It's never as simple as it seems, is it? We don't always win the battle when it comes to what's smart and what we can't let go. And I think, in this chapter, both Luke and Max realized and came to terms with the possiblity that whatever they have may not just be friendship. And they didn't want to pull away, despite their own internal debates. Whether they will actively follow that path or let things happen on their own is what we'll have to wait and see in the next chapters.

By the way, I wanna know, what do you think of Max's awkward fashion issue? 

Also, any other suggestions for casting for Luke and Max? 

P.S. Love this song! It's perfect for them too. 

Vote and comment! XOXO!

-Ninya

 ♪♪♪ Chapter Soundtrack: All You Never Say by Birdy♪♪♪

You've been searching
Have you found many things?
Time for learning
Why have I not learnt a thing?

Words with no meaning
Have kept me dreaming
But they don't tell me anything

All you never say is that you love me so
All I'll never know is if you want me oh
If only I could look into your mind
Maybe then I'd find a sign
Of all I want to hear you say to me

Are you uncertain?
Or just scared to drop your guard?
Have you been broken?
Are you afraid to show your heart?

Life can be unkind
But only sometimes
You're giving up before you start

All you never say is that you love me so
All I'll never know is if you want me oh
If only I could look into your mind
Maybe then I'd find a sign
Of all I want to hear you say to me
To me