Chapter 6 "Attack from Inside"

After I had woken up, I tried to linger around as much as possible. Even if Adam was a friend now, I still didn't want to train with the others. I also didn't want to have breakfast when there was a possibility that I would cross way with them.

Curiously, I regarded myself in the bathroom mirror. There were dark rings under my eyes. When would I finally stop to stay awake all night? Soft curls framed my cheeks, and I was glad that at least my hair was still shining. Unlike my eyes which had lost their sparkle with our arrival in the Institute.

With a sigh, I averted my gaze. How could my mother remain so calm while Valentine and Jonathan were burning down Institutes and killing innocents? In contrast to her, I couldn't stop imagining different scenarios in my head in which they finally found us here. Maybe she was frightened after all, or she tried to suppress her thoughts about it.

Much too late, I finally stood in the kitchen and prepared myself something to eat. The damaged shelf door was still leaning against the wall where I had put it down yesterday. I enjoyed being alone here. There was nobody who could have told me that the name Morgenstern would weigh heavy on my shoulders forever. Ridiculous, as if I didn't know that myself.

I didn't need to glance at the clock to know that the training had already started. "Damn", I whispered although I had known that I would come late the moment my eyes had opened this morning. Quickly, my legs brought me to the elevator, and I wondered how I was even able to find my way around.

The door to the training hall creaked when I pushed it open. Instantly, all eyes fastened on me. Jace's jolly look froze the second he recognized me. Alec and Isabelle ignored me and insistently talked to Jace. Adam sat a bit apart from the others. He gave me a light smile and beckoned me over to him.

His smile made the difference. Suddenly, my fear vanished as quick as it had come. There was no reason to worry about the others. Adam was here and he was friendly. And with him between me and the others, I would survive my daily training. This was our last year anyway, we were all adults now. Nervously, I smiled back at him, crossed the hall and sat down next to him. As I walked past Jace, I didn't glance at him.

When I had sat down, I nodded in Adam's direction. The smile around his lips grew. "Your second day and you're already coming late", he muttered, still loud enough for the others to hear.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I was never allowed to sleep in, so I thought to give it a try." My eyes wandered through the hall, searching for Hodge but he wasn't present. "Where's Hodge?"

Adam leaned back and put his hands on the mat for support. "He forgot something in the library and went back to get it." As yesterday, he wore a black gear and his brown hair fell over his forehead in short curls.

"I cannot believe this", Jace snapped at that moment, and pointed his finger at me. "She is a Morgenstern, Adam. Her father broke our codex. He killed innocent Shadowhunters and Downworlders. He betrayed our world!" Although his speech was directed to Adam, his golden eyes were accusingly fixed on me. In my mind, I saw our first encounter when he had smiled and had wanted to know my name. The moment seemed years away now. It had been only yesterday.

I didn't know what to say because Jace was right somehow, and he didn't want to hear my words anyway. I wanted to turn my back on him and ignore him when Adam suddenly started laughing. "Yes, you're absolutely right, Jace. Valentine did a lot of horrible things but take a look", he said amused and nodded in my direction. "Does she look like Valentine to you?"

Jace kept quiet. He watched Adam with a mixture of fury and bewilderment. "Obviously she doesn't", he finally said, but his voice continued to sound angry. "But it doesn't change anything. She's his daughter, his own flesh and blood. He had eighteen years to raise her. What do you think did he raised her to be?"

"I see your point, Jace, but it's not that easy", Adam tried to argue calmly. "You can't just project him on Clary. He's her father, but it doesn't mean she's like him. Her mother's Jocelyn after all, and she isn't crazy." I would have to thank him for this later. His words surprised me. Jace seemed to have another opinion about me.

"She might be this, she might be that... Wake up, Adam! How can we be safe for sure? She could be acting and fooling us the whole time. You can't tell a hundred percent. Her father's a psychopath and her brother's inhumanly abnormal. Why shouldn't she be too? It obviously runs in the family." He crossed his arms and the seraph blade at his belt flashed in the witchlight.

He had absolutely no right to talk like that about Jonathan. I would have loved nothing more than to stand up and smack him in the face. So everyone could see his bruise for days. But I had no right to hurt him, so I closed my eyes and reminded myself of Jonathan. I felt the lump forming in my stomach.

"Seriously Jace, would you want that she or anybody else talked like that about you?" Adam spoke in a strict tone, like a father who reprimanded his son. "Would you like hearing others speak about your adoption or the fact that Valentine murdered your parents? I think nobody would want that, therefore please stop dragging others in the same position. Clary isn't responsible for your pain, and she doesn't deserve to hear what you-"

"You damn bastard", Jace lunged himself at Adam. His voice was distorted by rage. Even Isabelle and Alec flinched. "How do you dare?!" Automatically, I backed away from him. This was the first time seeing him snap like this. His fists slammed into Adam's face with all his might, and he didn't even resist in surprise. "Say that about my family again and I'll kill you, Demonhunter!" Adam, who still laid motionless underneath Jace, stiffened. Jace sat above him, with his knees on Adam's upper arms, in order that he couldn't move. It didn't seem like Jace would give up his act of aggression anytime soon. I couldn't say what had gotten into him, but nobody came to help Adam.

I turned my head to Alec and Isabelle who indecisively watched Jace. Isabelle held Alec back who had wanted to pull Jace back. Her eyes flashed irritated, but also anxious. She couldn't hide it. And in this very moment, Hodge entered the room with a dozen of papers in his hands. The sound of Adam's painful pants made him look up at once. His eyes widened at the sight of the boys.

"By the angel, what is going on here?" Hodge's outraged shout hung in the air, and I could hear its echo resound at the walls. But Jace didn't pay it any attention. He continued punching Adam's face which was already covered in blood. A gasp escaped his lips, and it sounded like a drowning man taking a last breath. It felt like a trance when I turned back to Adam and Jace. I believed he had broken Adam's nose.

The moment of hesitation had passed and now I knew what to do. With a shout, I darted at Jace who apparently hadn't expected my attack. I managed to get him down from Adam, and now he was laying on his own back. For a second, his golden eyes watched me calmly. Then he transformed into a wild animal again. He lunged himself powerfully against me and tossed me off the pad with bare hands. I couldn't keep back a gasp when my back met the hard ground of the floor. The violent overthrow squeezed all the oxygen out of my lungs. By the angel, he was unbelievably strong.

Gasping, I sat up to see how Adam was holding up and if Jace had attacked him again. But Adam was no longer there. For a brief moment I was overcome with brightness, and I couldn't see anything. Like that moment when you got out of bed too quickly in the morning and your gaze was marked by a bright white lack of clarity for a few seconds. Adam was gone, as was Jace and the blue exercise mats. Cold snow formed around my body and my hands left white marks as I lifted them off the ground. Then I saw him. He slowly moved towards me.

"Did you miss me, little sister?" His voice froze the blood in my veins. "Don't worry." A bitter smile played around his lips, and it made me feel sick. "We can't locate you for now, but our honorable father will find a way sooner or later."

So that was him. That was Jonathan. And my mother hadn't lied. The usual friendliness had washed away from his face and all that was left was a dark, burgeoning malevolence. Too extreme, too distorted to be human. Where his green eyes should have been, identical to mine, black irises sparkled at me. As if the entire life had been erased from Jonathan's eyes and replaced with a totalitarian rage. Except for its body, nothing about this creature reminded me of my brother. Both the facial features and the way he held himself were foreign to me. Whoever this was, whoever was wearing Jonathan's mask, I didn't know him. All love wiped away, because demons could not feel such emotions.

Someone was screaming. I turned around but there was nobody else in the forest except for us. It was the forest where he had almost murdered me. There was nobody here, but I could still hear a loud and painful shriek. A shriek full of fear. "Jonathan", I gasped, completely out of breath.

Jonathan stared at me fathomlessly. "We killed dozens of Downworlders and until we find both of you, more will have to die. Surrender and stop the killing." Before I could open my mouth to answer him, a torrid pain rose in my neck. It was the spot where he had stabbed at. I took gulps of air. My hand pressed against the beating hurt.

"Stop it", I whispered and tried to draw back. "It's too late anyway. You are too late."

"What do you mean?" Anger rose in his voice, and he stepped towards me.

I raised my head as dignified as possible. My eyes bore in his dark ones. "I hate you and nothing will ever change that. I'd rather die than fight at your side." I almost shouted the words, but I could have spat them at him likewise. It didn't change the meaning.

Furiously, he bared his teeth. With a jump, he was next to me, grabbed me by the neck and lifted me up, until my feet didn't touch the ground no more. Did he want to choke me right here? I rattled for air, but his fingers squeezed my windpipe. "We'll find out soon enough." Then, he let me go.

The next thing I felt was my body hit the ground with a dull thud that sent chills down my spine.

"Clary!" When I opened my eyes, Adam was leaning over me, his nose still bleeding and dark bruises covering his face. I widened my eyes in shock and yelled at him. Where had he been? Hadn't he seen Jonathan? Jonathan would kill him the moment he saw him. I grabbed his hand and suddenly realized that it was covered in blood. A sudden panic overcame me. Was there a remote chance that he had actually managed to hurt Jonathan? That was impossible, wasn't it? The blood had to be from the fight with Jace. "We need a Silent Brother immediately!"

Silent Brothers? By the angel, no, they should stay away from me, I didn't want them anywhere close to me. Desperately, I tried to recognize the silhouette behind Adam. My sight was blurred but I could see someone standing there in a threatening way. Straight back, light blond hair and an athletic body frame. Jonathan.

"Adam, watch out. Jonathan! Behind your back!" I raised my bloody hand and pointed at my brother who stood a meter away from us without moving. Stiff like a statue. The whole room was whirling around like a carousel.

Adam turned around. "Go away, Jace. She's afraid of you", he hissed angrily. "Or go and get someone."

Jace? Puzzled, I tried to sharpen my eyes. For a short moment, I accomplished to see him. His golden eyes were filled with an expression of fear and uncertainty. He returned the look for a brief second, then he turned his back on us and ran off.

"Everything will be alright, Clary. I'm already providing you with an Iratze." Adam pushed my forearms on the ground and took his stele. I felt a light burn when the stele drew over my skin. The effect was immediate. My muscles relaxed and the pulse at my neck slowed down.

"What's going on with me? What happened?" My voice was winning strength and I managed to sit up completely.

"You ...", Adam went silent. "I can't really explain what I saw. You were in some kind of trance. Your eyes fixed at thin air; nothing was there. You began to speak and then you screamed. Your throat started bleeding. It happened so fast, we weren't able to react." He looked down at me in worry.

I stared past him, at the blue pads where Alec and Isabelle were still sitting and watching our conversation. Alec seemed to be taken aback while a satisfied smirk played around Isabelle's lips. Hodge must have left the room because he was nowhere to be seen. "I can't explain it myself", I said and concentrated on Adam again. "I saw Jonathan and he talked to me, talked about the current situation. This wasn't a hallucination."

oOo

"She has called his name more than once", Hodge said with a hoarse voice. He was sitting on the bed next to me and talked to my mother and Maryse who had all assembled around my bed in the infirmary. I was feeling better already, almost perfectly healthy, but my mother had insisted that I laid down for a while.

"Valentine must've done something to her. The only logic explanation is a magic spell or an enduring rune", Maryse considered and sighed.

"But there aren't such runes in the Gray Book. It must be something more powerful, although I highly doubt that a spell is the reason." Magnus Bane strolled past the sickbeds and turned around in elegant rotations when he reached one end of the room.

"She isn't immune against Valentine's influence. The Silent Brothers should take care of this. They're the only ones who can deal with this kind of problem. They can identify unknown runes and erase them safely." Maryse was standing next to my bed and had directed her speech to my mother who sat on the edge.

Obviously, Jonathan had never truly been in the Institute. It had all happened inside my head. But there were unsolved questions. How had he been able to hurt me, if he hadn't been present? How had he reached my mind? I didn't remember any kind of rune or spell that Valentine had equipped me with.

"We have to visit the Silent City immediately", my mother said and stood up. "We don't know which runes Valentine might have used on her. With a permanent location-rune they might have tracked us down already."

She was right. We didn't know. But the Silent Brothers? Quickly, I sat up. "I don't want to visit the Silent City", I slowly said. "Maybe this was just-" I didn't want to visit the Silent Brothers. There was something mystical and depressing about them. Their rituals were even worse which made their appearance unpleasant, especially because legends said that they could read people's minds.

"Out of question!" Jocelyn threw me a strict look. "We're going. Maryse, would you send a message to the Silent City to announce our visit, please?"

Maryse nodded and left the room. The noise of her boots echoed through the corridor, although she was already out of sight. The wound at my throat was healed and my head didn't ache anymore. Still, I didn't want to go. I wouldn't admit it to anyone, but the thought of visiting the Silent City terrified me.

"I'll go and check on Adam. Jace beat him down pretty hard." My voice sounded discontent and absent. In a fast move, I got out of the bed and my eyes wandered through the room. The infirmary was large and decorated in dark tones. Lots of brown wooden beds, one nightstand for every bed and some potted flowers here and there. The tall stained glass windows flooded the room with warm sunlight.

"Are you alright, darling?", my mother gently asked and raised her head to stroke my hair.

Before her fingers could touch it, I made a step aside. "You have spent all those years with this man, and you still didn't know what he was doing all the time? He experimented with me, with Jonathan, and now he probably marked me with a special rune that could kill all of us!" My voice trembled in anger. Why was I even reacting like this?

Jocelyn understood my fury. She shook her head and tried to contradict. "It's not that easy, Clary. All I wanted was to protect you, both of you. Valentine's still my husband, I loved him for a long time. My fear for the Clave and what they'd do to you, the Morgenstern children, was bigger than my fear for what Valentine could do. He's your father after all, I didn't believe that he'd ever harm any of you."

"The problem is that he did harm us."

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Hi guys and welcome back,

sorry for the delay but I forgot my account's passwort... Hope to update more often from now on. I hope you liked the chapter, let me know!

See you!