Chapter 19 – Angelic Answer

"Excuse me?" the Inquisitor snapped, wanting to grab my chin again.

A reflex in my body reacted faster than I did. My hand shot up in a flash and before I knew it, I grabbed her arm and held it tight. I heard an astonished murmur in the background. "I said no." This time it was my voice that sounded final. The pain was so unbearable it brought tears to my eyes.

The Inquisitor opened her mouth and for a moment seemed at a loss as to what to say. Then she yanked her arm from me with such force that I nearly fell over. She looked at me as if she'd like to see me dead. Then she had her stele in her hand again. "This is impossible," she hissed. "She should have been under the spell's influence for much longer."

"She still is," Magnus remarked pointedly. "Look at her neck. Her pulse is racing. She's sweating like crazy. Her pupils are larger than my cat's. She must be in incredible pain."

"It doesn't matter," she said, grabbing my shoulder. "I will reapply the rune to her."

"I can't see why she can fight it," Magnus admitted. "Nobody should be able to do that. This spell is very powerful and extremely ... intrusive when resisted."

"No," I pleaded as the Inquisitor drew her stele. "Please, not again." The strength that had just been there was gone. Instead, a great emptiness filled my insides. All the bad memories and images flowed like a swirl towards the abyss and dark arms grabbed me to pull me into the abyss as well. "I can't do this."

"You should have thought about that beforehand," the Inquisitor replied, and then she drew the rune on my collarbone again. The touch of the adamas on my skin made me scream. She burned my skin.

"No," I cried, tears rolling down my cheeks. "I can't ... I can't do it." Another agonized scream left my throat, and I twisted in her arms, trying to break free of her grasp. But all strength had left my limbs, only the pain and the fire were left and now they would turn what little was left of me to ashes.

"There's no use resisting, Clarissa," she said, almost sounding happy. She completed the rune and then let go of me. "You're only making things worse by doing this." I gasped, my head falling back as I closed my eyes. The world started spinning and faces flashed past my inner eye. "Well, answer my previous question."

"Jonathan," panting, I listened to the words that were about to spill out like a waterfall. She broke my will. I felt like I was floating. "He's a wonderful person." I thought back to my Jonathan and felt the tears continue to flow down my cheeks. A miserable sob left my throat. As soon as I realized it as a sob, I clenched my teeth. My whole head shook from the ones I was holding back. "He was a wonderful person. He's a spitting image of my father, but he's always been the complete opposite. Jonathan was kind, generous, my protector ..." My voice trailed off.

"It doesn't matter what he was like. How did he become the person he is today?"

"He's not human anymore," I uttered through hot tears of pain. "My father summoned Lilith, Queen of Edom, and offered her his son in exchange for a cup of her blood. He offered Jonathan her blood, turning him into an unfeeling monster, his personal weapon over which he has no control. Jonathan ... He killed my mother. He's faster than regular Shadowhunters and a lot stronger."

The Inquisitor then asked me to talk about the day before my escape. In as much detail as I could in my condition, I related how Jonathan had lunged himself on me in the fight and had tried to kill me and how my father had just watched him do it.

After my report, the Inquisitor was silent for a while. I used the time to sit back and introspect. My eyes fell shut, I barely had the strength to keep them open. The pain was still stronger than any pain I had felt in my entire life, but it had become secondary. The thought of Jonathan and having to go through it all over again had driven me into an absent-minded state. Of course, one had to face one's demons in order to overcome them, but in my case, I probably couldn't take that too literally.

By now I could tell from her demeanor when the Inquisitor would ask the next question. Each time she straightened her back and breathed in through her nose. "Why did Valentine dare such a risky experiment on his own child?"

Had I had the strength, I would have shrugged. "He's done some experiments before. My mother told me that he has tortured many downworlders and given them various substances for his studies. Valentine called Jonathan invincible, he wanted to create a powerful weapon."

The Shadowhunters' whispers rose again. This time, however, they tried to keep their voices low enough not to anger the Inquisitor. "So Valentine experimented on more creatures than just your brother," she stated, disgust in her voice. For the first time, I couldn't blame her. "Did your father do experiments on you or other Shadowhunters besides your brother?"

I felt my burning body contract beneath me. Every muscle began to tense, as if they were made of steel instead of flesh. As if they had to handle an unbearable weight. Images flashed past my inner eye, and I saw my mother's face so clearly in front of me that I wanted to reach out and stroke her red hair. She was riding a horse, cold snow was blowing on her face and a single tear was rolling down her cheek. Her words echoed in my head. The angelic blood affected me, a grown-up woman in her late twenties. Just imagine the effect it could have on still developing living beings, an unborn just like you were.

Somehow, I managed to raise my head. I could make out Jace's blurred form. The trembling in my fingers increased. I wasn't the only one Valentine fed with angelic blood. I had known that Jace was also affected by my father's experiments, but it was only in this moment that I realized that he could not know about it.

It hadn't been five minutes since the rune was applied, but I knew this wasn't the place for Jace to hear the truth from me. Especially not in this way. How was I supposed to fight this force when I'd barely been able to before? I could almost feel the words pressing against the inside of my lips to escape into public.

Nobody was allowed to know about this. I would put us both in imminent danger. Two experiments of Valentine in one place without anyone knowing what we were capable of, not even ourselves. Who knew what they would do to us. So I bit my lower lip so hard I tasted blood. With every attempt to resist the spell, the pain increased. It no longer felt like a thousand swords were stabbing me or I was being burned alive. I gasped, as if someone had tied me to the bottom of a lake and I would never make it to the surface in time. At the same time, knives cut into my skin and ripped it from my body to shreds.

"Speak, Clarissa!" the inquisitor yelled in my face, even though she was not a meter away from me. The view blurred more before my eyes because I hardly had any air to breathe. I looked down at myself and watched the blood drip from my lips onto my white dress. Then the Inquisitor's fingers dug into my cheeks again and she jerked my head up. "She's holding her breath."

But I'm not holding my breath, I thought. I just couldn't breathe. It was her spell doing this, not me. Holding my breath would do me no good as the body would reflexively start breathing again.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a shadow coming toward me, knocking the Inquisitor's hand aside. An indignant snort escaped her. Then Magnus' catlike eyes appeared in front of me. "Clary, listen to me," he said seriously. I thought I had never seen him so serious before. "You won't stop the magic with this, you might buy more time, but sooner or later it will overpower you. You're going to kill yourself, girl."

I stared at him for a moment, then concentrated as best I could on my next words. "It hurts so much," I complained, not recognizing my voice. It was weak and rasping like I hadn't had a drink in days. The darkness was about to lull me to sleep, and my head tilted to one side as my eyes slowly drooped shut. Magnus' fingers touched my temple. "Do it for your mother, she would've wanted you to tell them the truth."

That comment made my eyes blink in confusion. I shook my head slightly. "I can't," I said without looking at him. My body was on fire as if someone had poured acid on me. My eyes darted past him, back to Jace. Magnus followed my gaze, sudden surprise showing in his wide eyes. He opened his mouth to say something.

"That's enough now," the inquisitor shot in at that moment. "Then I'll apply the Rune of Truth to her again, if she's so stubborn." She quickly pushed the puzzled Magnus aside and then I felt the cold adamas on my skin again. I cried out in pain that now seemed to swell to infinity.

"Tell me the truth and tell it now!" she snapped when she was done, her icy blue eyes boring into mine like she was about to rip me apart.

My eyes widened as the rune's paralyzing venom ate through my veins once more, sapping my will for good. My head fell forward, and I stared at the floor as my mouth began to speak. "There were two more experiments ... eighteen years ago ... Valentine mixed angelic blood in the meals of two pregnant Nephilim for an extended period of time. They didn't know about it."

Then I pressed my lips together again, even though I knew I was just buying time here. Of course, she would ask for the names.

"What happened to them?"

"One of the mothers survived the birth, the other did not. Both children were fine. They ... they are alive today."

"What are their names?" The Inquisitor's voice was suddenly unusually hollow.

I knew there was no point in resisting the truth anymore. The pain was immeasurable, and I didn't know how much more I could take. "Clarissa Morgenstern and ..." Still, my mind tried to hold back his name. My head snapped to the side, and I squeezed my eyelids shut to avoid seeing his reaction. My tongue was burning, and I was out of breath. "Jace Herondale."

I ignored the dismayed murmurs that erupted in the hall as best I could. I didn't want to see his reaction. Instead, I was completely taken aback by the Inquisitor's reaction. Her flat hand caught my cheek without warning, I hadn't even heard the usual whistling of the air. Her punch was so powerful that it knocked me off the bench. I opened my eyes, startled, and threw my hands out to break the fall. My chin hit the ground anyway, and the unpleasant taste of blood made me shudder.

I lay on the floor, propped up on my arms, and turned to face the Inquisitor. But the hall revolved around me. The blow had crushed my already weakened brain. The rune on my collarbone began to burn. For a moment the Inquisitor loomed over me, and I feared she would attack me again as Magnus lunged at her and pulled away from me.

"Liar," she yelled at me while trying to shake Magnus off. But other figures came to his aid that I could not recognize. "She's a liar! If she can defend herself against the rune, she might as well lie under its influence! She is a spy for Valentine, she wants to convince us of falsehoods so that he can get Alicante under his control more easily!"

If I didn't feel like dying at any moment, I would have looked at her disapprovingly. She wasn't any different from Jace. Not a bit. That scene reminded me of our argument in the library, where he'd thrown something similar at me. But not a word escaped my lips, the rune forbade it. I looked at Jace for the first time. He had jumped to his feet and disbelief showed on a face. His hands had formed into fists inside his cloak.

"You know very well that's not true," Magnus replied to the Inquisitor at that moment. "She's telling the truth, she can't help it."

"No," she murmured again, shaking her head and then looking at Jace. There was agony in her eyes and in that moment, I decided I wouldn't blame her for this behavior. She had lost her entire family to Valentine and Jace was the last one left. She would protect him with her life when it came down to it. She hadn't wanted to let my father harm him and now it had happened without her being able to do anything about it.

As if hearing my thoughts, she turned back to me, anger showing in her eyes. "Very well," she hissed, tearing away from the Shadowhunters, who were standing a little awkwardly. "Then tell me what effect that angelic blood is having on you."

Now I lay there on the floor, she looming over me. For a short while I didn't even know what to say to her. The burning in my collarbone got worse and worse. And suddenly everything else became secondary. I opened my mouth and gasped as my fingers brushed the rune mark. It actually burned. Not like the previous times where it just felt like it but one couldn't see anything. I flinched from myself, startled, as I looked at the mark. It shone with a golden glow and seared my skin. Then my eyes started to glow. Like someone had splashed a hot load of water in my face.

Screams of pain cut through the murmur of the Nephilim, and they fell silent in an instant. I tried to get up but fell to my knees. I'd felt a lot of pain today, but never as bad as at this moment, and even that statement was an understatement for the pain I was feeling right now. I couldn't put it into words. All I knew was that I had never squirmed in pain before. Now my body twitched with pain.

"Your rune," exclaimed the Consul, more amazed than shocked, and came towards me. He grabbed my shoulder and tried to turn me towards him. But then he jerked back as if stung by a tarantula and I heard a deep searing sound. The Consul snorted and stared at his hand, which was glowing red. I could smell smoke in the air and burned skin.

Someone knelt in front of me. "Open your eyes," the Inquisitor ordered, and I did as she said. As she looked into my eyes, I could see the startled expression on her face. Her mouth was slightly open and her hands remained in the air as if she didn't know what to do with them anymore. A mask of sheer convulsion looked at me, and my stomach churned at the sight. A golden glow reflected in her eyes. It took me several seconds to realize that the reflection was my own eyes.

Then in one fell swoop the pain was gone. Suddenly my body seemed light as a feather. I felt an energy coursing through my veins that I had never felt before. I felt like I was floating as I listened to the voices in the room, all of which suddenly seemed so close. And even though they were all shouting at once, I could hear each and every one of them loud and clear.

My gaze went from the frozen Inquisitor to the rune on my collarbone. The sight of it should have shocked me, but instead it filled me with infinite satisfaction. The Rune of Truth that had just been perfectly and definitively imprinted on my skin was gone. In its place, another rune had burned itself into my skin. A liberation rune.

Even though it seemed so surprising to the others, it all made perfect sense to me. Runes could not deform. Except by angelic power. That was my answer to the Inquisitor's question. It was the angels' answer.

Then the power suddenly left my veins, just as quickly as it had come. The pain didn't come back, but instead, exhaustion overcame me, and I collapsed on the cold floor.

-

Hi and welcome back!

Sooo now the secret is out! And Clary revealed her powers to the Clave! What do you think? :)

Also, if you are interested how I imagine all the characters, you can visit my Pinterest. There, I have a whole page dedicated to this fanfic and each character. You can find the link in my bio on my profile. The folder is called "The Rise of the Morningstar", so just as this fanfiction is called! :)

See you soon

Skyllen