'Hey, it's me again... I know you haven't picked up on any or my calls or returned any... I just— I don't know either why I keep calling you. I'm sorry, for hurting your feelings. You probably don't care what I say anyway. For good reason. I'm not sure if you're interested in listening to my rambles but... I'm one step closer to my parents killer. There has been another murder and the killer left some DNA behind. It's send off to the lab for testing...' I sucked in a breath and looked out of the window. 'It might be nothing but... it meant something to me and I realized I had no one to share it with...' another sigh emerged from my mouth. '... hopefully they're not pumping your body full of hormones again.' I couldn't think about. Wouldn't allow myself to think about how sick and miserable it makes him. '...bye.'

I hung up and threw my phone on the kitchen counter. Silence. It was so utterly quiet. I didn't think I would miss company so badly. Sunstreaker's in particular. I craved my hands on the counter. Stupid. I was so stupid. I brought this upon myself. Pushed him too hard, too far. I stared at my phone. Somewhere, deep down I hoped he would call me back, but this had been ongoing for weeks. Almost a month had passed and Sunstreaker hadn't returned any of my calls. Probably hadn't even bothered on listening to the voicemails I left twice a day.

At first, I was delighted with peace. So happy that he was gone and didn't had to worry whether he would kill anybody, but I figured that all I could think off was him. I started to care for psychopath, how ironic. Not mentioned that I was terrified of what they might do to him. At least he wasn't completely alone. Sideswipe would look after him. I was sure he would.

***

The next morning, I found myself sitting at the dinning table, staring at my phone while stirring in my tea. As if he would call. I was curtain he wouldn't and I had made a vow with myself to not call him either. I can't keep stalking him and give him the satisfaction that I actually missed him, even I had been doing it for a little over a month now. Today, was the day I was going to let it go and move on. This is what I wanted and I should embrace it. I brushed some strands behind my ear and reached for my phone; reading the chain of unread massages I had send him. He hadn't even bothered to open them.

One more message. Just one. I began typing:

> You don't have to forget everything straight away, but I'm asking you to forgive me. I don't know what got into me and I am ashamed of what I did. I hope you know I value our friendship more than it may have seemed when we argued. I'm sorry for hurting yo|

I was just about to add 'you' and add a polite end as I stopped myself and I deleted the messages. Standing up, I walked over to my room. He wasn't going to respond on any message or phone call. Sending another would've been a waste of time. I had to stop. The thought was nagging me as much as I hated to admit it. And it was the guilt that eventuate made me grab my bags.

His warning thrummed through my mind. "I will kill you if you set one foot in my territory..." He meant what he said, but at least I had tried apologizing. It took me a good, long exhausting 24 hours to finally reach Washington DC. Especially after my flight had been postponed and I had to take another plane to get here.

Standing in front of the gate, my heart knocked hard in my chest. Was this a mistake? Should I simple go back to my hotel and forget about it all? I stared and stared until a soldier cleared his throat. 'You're going in or...?' He trailed off. 'Is Sunstreaker at the base?' The soldier gave a hesitant nod. 'Is he... okay?'

'Define okay. Since he got back he changed... colder, crankier and more aggressive...' The man gave me a searching look, a silent question. It was all my fault. My hands shook as I reached out for my ID and showed it to the guard. 'I know who you are... everyone does.' I didn't know if that was a good thing or not. I slipped passed the guard and entered the base. All day, I had been preparing to what I was going to say, if he even gave me the change too. Maybe he buries that long deadly knife of his between my ribs the second he sees me.

I was fortunate it was busy. Meant I could weave through the crowd without getting too much attention from the Autobots or Sunstreaker. I had chosen black jeans and and navy-blue top to fit in.
I hadn't yet spotted him, but that didn't mean he wasn't there. I stopped in my tracks. The yellow twin walked in. His face plates grumpy, as usual. My chest tightened at the sight of him. His usual shinny armor was now filthy and his optics were glassy. As if he had given up on all hope. As if he didn't care anymore. I stepped behind a pillar and watched him walk by. He transformed and parked. Where's his twin?

I turned back and bumped straight into a firm chest. I staggered back against the pillar. Sunstreaker's cold eyes stared straight through my soul. How did he even know?
'You think I was bluffing when I told you I was going to murder you last time?'

'Sunstreaker... can you please just head me out—' he cut me off. 'No! Why would I listen to you! You were pretty clear last time. 'I left for a fucking reason. YOU!' He jabbed his knife in my face. 'Now I have to kill you.' I ditched the attack. 'Sunny! I miss you and I am sorry, okay?! I'm sorry for hurting your feelings, for calling you a feral beast, for not trusting you, for not appreciating you more and for not recognizing our friendship and treasure it. I'm sorry! Sunny... I miss you. I miss you so much...' He growled and ground his teeth. 'Fuck off, Sky. We are no longer friends and you should be afraid of me now... you're next I am going to kill.'