~Lucy's POV~

"Lucy, I'm leaving for Thanksgiving break now." Levy mumbled timidly. "Please try to have a good holiday." Levy was peering down at the floor, her legs crossed. Her eyes looked older, saddened by seeing a friend suffer. 

I slowly dragged my torso up from my bed, turning around to face her. "I'll try." The noise came out as a whisper, barely audible. As her hazel eyes met mine,  they were filled with tears. She shook her head as tears slid down her cheeks. Though she may be small, her body movements were fast. Before I even knew it, she was clutching onto me.

I was taken aback from her sudden gesture, but enjoyed it all the same. 

"You've got to get through this Lucy." She yelled through a cacophony of sobs. "Please. I don't think I can see you like this anymore." My heart was now immune to sympathy, walled up. 

She pulled away, arms on my shoulder. "Come on Lucy, please." She shook me as she yelled. I glanced at the wall behind her, refusing to look into her eyes. Looking into her eyes might give her hope, but ultimately, there is none. 

Our walls were covered in memorable photographs, but what's the point? I don't even know who I am anymore. I don't know when Levy left, but I soon found myself alone. I wasn't aware of my actions due to the lack of sleep and food. Time felt contorted. 

I grazed over the Polaroids, scanning each detail with my fingers and eyes. I stood straight in front of our mirror, unaware of how I actually moved across the room in a matter of what felt like two seconds. 

Do I dare look at who I've become? I caved, looking at the reflection whom I've gotten to know for eighteen years. 

Same mouth, eyes, nose, ears, hair, but I still don't recognize her. Her skin is a lovely tone of porcelain, smooth. I break away from her, suddenly feeling paranoid. 

Who is she? 

~Thanksgiving Day~ 

Driving back to my old house resurfaced a lot of memories. All I can see are little animated figures of Natsu and I. I see us on his motorcycle, in the gardens, and kissing under the lamppost. I kept my eyes locked on the road. 

For the first time in the last few weeks, I changed. I changed into an outfit that was more appropriate for a Thanksgiving meal. It sagged off my body, the fabric loose. I remember finding the salmon dress, the first dress Natsu had ever seen me in. I don't remember what came of it. 

I have very hazy memories of rash behavior. Throwing stuff away, tearing photographs to shreds, and even burning something that I can't recall. I think I was going insane. 

I pulled into my old drive way, turning off the car. Silence filled my ears, at least I wasn't hearing voices yet. 

I stepped out of the car, the cold November air slapping me in the face. My mind was a one track process. Walk, breathe, step, breathe, knock on door, breathe. 

Before I knew it, I was in my dad's arms. 

"Welcome home sweetie!" He screamed enthusiastically. He was wearing an apron that said, "Kiss the Cook." It actually made me feel a little better. Dad was back to his old self. 

"Hey," I replied cheerfully. Dad was so excited for this dinner, so, might as well act the part. He pulled away from our embrace, scanning my face. His facial expression changed, a slow decline of color. 

"Lucy, you're so pale." My eyes shifted between each of his green eyes. My throat swelled up, the walls around my heart starting to crumble. 

"Yea," was all I could muster to reply. I panicked and made up a lousy excuse. At least I knew he would buy it. "I'm still not feeling very well."

"Here, come inside." My dad shuffled me inside the door. Everything looked the same. Same living room, same smell, same furniture. He put his hand on my forehead, a nervous glint in his eyes. "You're a little warm." My dad showed me a comforting smile. "We'll fix you up." I returned a small smile. Although it may not be genuine, it was something 

 "Are you well enough to help me set the table at least?" Our special moment was ruined, but his comment made me laugh. It wasn't forced or anything, it was real. My dad laughed along with me.

"Sure," I said while walking towards the kitchen. I started unpacking all of our fancy china from the cupboards. My dad would rinse them off, and start setting them on the table. 

"Anna and Natsu should be here any minute." I immediately stopped what I was doing. "I'm surprised that you two didn't come together." The bowl that I had in my hand dropped onto the counter with a thud. We both jumped, scared from the sudden noise. "Are you okay Lucy?" 

"Um," my throat started to well. "About that." 

"Yes?" My dad questioned. 

"We brok-," 

"We're here!" My confession was cut off by Anna's voice. My heart literally stopped. I frantically searched for a heart beat, but couldn't find one. My lungs became tight, air difficult to access. My dad immediately left the kitchen, helping Anna carry in an excessive amount of food. We already had a plethora of traditional food spread across the table. 

I nervously headed towards the exit, my fingers shaking ferociously. I peeked my head around the corner, my stomach churning. 

There he was. 

His hair was splayed out in twenty different directions, face bright. He looked good, too good to be true. His face was full of color, cheeks rosy. He look a thousand times better than I did. I looked like a baby compared to him. 

Then, we made eye contact. 

As if my stomach flipped, I felt nausea picking away at my insides. 

"Would you like any help Anna?" I asked to distract myself. I could feel Natsu's eyes on my back as I moved. 

"No, I think I'll be okay dear. Thank you anyways," she smiled. Her smile was always warm and comforting, an envious characteristic. "We will get everything ready, you two stay and chat." The wrinkles surrounding her face just added to her positive facial features. 

I could feel bile rising in my throat. I couldn't take it anymore. 

"I'm gonna throw up," I mumbled, running away from everyone. I sprinted to the closet bathroom which was conveniently placed right aside the kitchen. 

I slammed the door behind me, throwing up in the toilet. My dad had fortunately left the seat up, gross, but handy in this situation. I held my own hair, that's what I call independence. All that was coming up was stomach acid. I hadn't eaten since yesterday, and even then it wasn't that much. 

I leaned against the door, wiping my hot forehead. I was sweating from my temples, heat radiating throughout me. My head hurt so bad. I placed it between my knees, hugging them ever so slightly. For the first time in a while, I just started crying. 

I couldn't even make it one minute without freaking out. 

I gasped as I heard a knock on the door. 

"I'm fine," I said with my raspy voice. My mouth tasted horrible. 

"Lucy, I-," 

"I'm seriously fine, just give me a minute." I cut off whoever was at the door. I couldn't recognize the voice due to my ears being squished between my knees.  I stood up, my balance shaky. I flushed the toilet, while grabbing the mouth wash under the sink at the same time. I swished around the burning seltzer, praising the minty taste. 

"Screw this," I heard someone say angrily. The bathroom door swung open, Natsu appearing right in front of me. My eyes widened at his immediate presence. He grabbed my hand, pulling me out of the bathroom. Before he could even say anything, I started crying. 

His eyes looked so cold, free of life. He dragged me upstairs, my dad nor Anna asking what were doing. I found myself in my old room, the smell familiar. 

My hand felt weird. 

He shut the door, not bothering to turn on any lights. 

"You gonna tell me what the hell is going on with you?" He yelled immediately, his face turned away from mine. I dropped my gaze back down to the floor, noticing that our hands were still connected. 

"I'm fine," I lied. He has no reason to prod into my business. He's the reason I'm like this anyway. 

"That's bull shit and you know it." I could feel his gaze searching for my eyes, but I wasn't giving him that privilege. 

"You don't know anything about me Natsu, not anymore." I said rashly. Tears of frustration and stress fled my eyes. 

"Look at yourself Lucy! For the love of God, you've lost weight, you're extremely pale, and you just threw up. You really think you're "fine?"' I felt his fingers lightly graze my arm. I pushed away from him.

"Why do you think I'm like this Natsu?" His name sounded different leaving my mouth. "Who do you think is to blame?" My voice started to rise. I I tried to calm myself, but I don't think I'm doing too well. I wiped away the snot leaving my nose, disgusted at what I'd become. 

"I can't change how I feel Lucy." He yelled, ripping away from me. He paced in the corner across from me. "You're still someone that I care about, and to see you suffer," he trailed off. The moonlight coming from my window cast upon his face. I saw a streak of water slide down his cheek. 

"You were supposed to be strong." He whispered, his back facing me. 

"I was strong." I mumbled, wiping the tears from my eyes. 

"Why do you have to do this to yourself? Is this some sick way of revenge?" He faced towards me again, his eyes dark and solemn. I was taken aback from his comment, shocked at his ideals. 

"You really think I would do something like that for you?" I snarled at him. "You completely crushed me Natsu. You left me high and dry without a good reason." 

"I'm sorry, but I," he paused, rubbing his head lightly. Soon enough, his arms were around me. The smell of mint and linen filled my nose, causing me to sob harder then I already was. "Things are just complicated right now." I didn't push away from him this time. 

I took his hand, looking him in the eye. "Confide in me then. I'll help you, no matter what you're going through." He reciprocated my glance, our eyes finally meeting up close. 

"Your eyes look so cold." He ignored my approach, scanning my eyes. 

"So do yours." I replied, allowing my soul to be captured. I caved, he dragged me back into his heart with just a look. 

"I want to confide in you Lucy. I don't even know what's going on inside my head." He looked at the wall behind my ear. 

"You shouldn't hold all your thoughts in, it's poisonous." I caressed his face, bringing his attention back to me. "Talk to me, please." Natsu's forehead gently fell against mine, our lips inches apart. I wanted him so bad. I knew Natsu was suffering too, and I wanted to help. 

"Later, I promise." His breathe hit my face, causing more tears to fall from my eyes. 

"I miss you." Natsu mumbled quietly.

"I miss you too." The words just felt so natural to me. They rolled off my tongue without hesitation. We stayed like that for another minute, neither one of us daring to move.

"We should probably head back downstairs." My eyes were closed, but Natsu's presence was still amazingly present. As Natsu pulled away, my forehead felt cold, like something was missing. He wiped the tears away from my waterline, backing away from me.

"After dinner." He muttered quickly. In the moment, I didn't know what he meant. I caught up with him. We held hands as we went back down stairs. 

"Promise me that you'll eat." He bluntly stated, stopping at the top of the stairs. 

"I promise." I said, showing a genuine smile. 

This was a step in the right direction. I knew it.