JOCELYN VI BRITANNIA

He'd grown so much taller since I saw him last. Just a few days ago when he'd visited me,I was so fucked on medication that I barely recognised how tall my son had grown.

And what a fine young man he'd grown into. He was handsome, unlike his degenerate bastard of a father.

"Yeah...I know I meant to come later,but something popped up so...So I figured I'd come in now and spend as much time with you as I could."

I giggled softly. Nova could try to hide it as much as he wanted to,but his caring attitude showed that deep down that little boy was still there. He was no monster. No matter what people said...he was still my little Nova.

He sat beside me on my bed,taking my hand into his. He was cold. As always. He was technically a corpse after all. But regardless,that never ceased to make me feel warm inside. My son,who had grown to be so much more than everyone said he would be. If only I could tell him how proud I was.

"How are you feeling?"

"Same as always. Tired."

"You didn't sleep again?"

"Oh don't patronise me child,you sleep terribly too."

"Yeah but I have my reasons mom...you need rest."

"Is it so wrong for a mother to want to stay awake to see her child?"

"When said mother is sick,yes. You need to sleep."

I shook my head. Silly child,always using his head more than having faith.

"I'm in good hands Nova. The Gods protect me. They gave me the strength to stay awake."

As always, he sighed,planting his palm over his face. "The gods did nothing for you. For the past eleven years they have done NOTHING for you. The only reason you are not dead is because there are doctors and healers here mother."

"You've strayed from the path of the light my son-"

"No Mom I've simply come to the understanding that the gods are nothing more than a fairy tale."

"Provide proof then. That they are not my strength."

"Fine then. I'll stop paying the bills for your hospital bed, you can get thrown out onto the streets. Then,mother,when you're all alone and desperate, and you have no one and nothing but the gods to turn to, pray. Then,when they've given everything back to you, through nothing except prayer, come find me. Then I'll believe you."

Oh my son. I had never once believed Nova would stop having faith. I'd always hoped one day he would see. But...perhaps Nova was correct? Perhaps the gods did not exist? I tried. As a mother, as his parent,I tried to see his perspective. But no matter how hard my efforts were,I could never bring myself to believe in a world where a higher power did not exist. Yet,not only did my son not believe, but I felt that he bolstered a strong, almost destructive hatred for religion. Reasons of which were unknown to me.

As I thought of this,I realised how little I actually knew about my own son. I knew little of why he did what he did that day. I didn't know why his religious views had changed in this way or how he'd come to this conclusion.

I wished...I wished I could turn back the hands of time to better understand my son. Maybe if I weren't such a careless parent I would have been able to save him. Help him.

He let out a sigh, not much different to the ones I let out, and ran his hand through his hair.

"Can we please talk about something else?"

"You've grown taller."

"I have...wait I have?"

"Yes you have. Much taller. You're going to be taller than me soon kiddo."

"Mom,I've always been taller than you. Sometimes I mistake you for a dwarf rather than a human."

I let out a laugh,giving Nova a pat on the head. In an instant he drew his head away.

"My,I wonder what your friends would say if they saw you had a sense of humour."

Nova looked at me,suprised looked donned on his face. "Friends?"

"The group who were waiting for  you on the steps outside of the bakery yesterday. They're your friends. I hear that Elena girl may be a tad more than simply a friend though." I said with a smirk.

I leaned in closer to Nova,poking his head teasingly as I always did. "So? Is she? She's really cute with her short blonde hair."

"Yeah...Elena is really...really cute." He responded. The boys cheeks were blood red. I was giggling internally. Nova was still my cute kid,no matter what people said.

"So did you bang her yet?"

Nova was dumbfounded for a few seconds. "What?!"

I gasped and gave him a friendly punch. "You totally did,didn't you?!"

"No I haven't!"

"Oh don't lie to me I know you have,you two are too cute together to not have fucked each other by now."

Nova looked down,hiding his face from me. "We...may have..."

Wait wha...

"Excuse me?"

My heart began to race in my chest,My fist clenched as I gripped the bed sheets in a fistful.

"We...did. We...it wasn't...sex sex. It was more love making than just you know...rough stuff."

I could feel myself breathing heavier.

This...

This was...

"THIS IS FUCKING AWESOME! ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? HOW WAS IT? WERE YOU BIG ENOUGH? OHHH DID YOU FEEL HER EMOTIONS WHEN YOU MADE LOVE?! HER SWEET TENDER EMBRACE?! THAT ELECTRIC FEELING BETWEEN YOU TWO THAT LIGHTS UP YOUR VERY SOUL?!-"

"M-Mom..."

"DID YOU USE PROTECTION?! PLEASE TELL ME YOU USED A CONDOM?! Or wait...AM I GONNA BE A FUCKIN GRANDMA?!"

"We...we didn't..."

"YOU DIDN'T?! OH FUCK I MIGHT BE A GRANDMA! I MIGHT BE A GRANDMA HAHA! WHOO!"

"Mom..."

"I'm sorry! Heh,I'm sorry kiddo. I'm calm...Hoosah...I'm calm. Alright! So! What was ya first time like?"

Nova was silent for a few seconds,still blushing like someone had slapped him really hard.

"It was...special. I...I can't really find the words to explain it besides special and something I won't forget anytime soon."

"So? Are you and this Elena girl a thing? When do I get to meet her? Are you planning on marrying her? You have to have the wedding here in the hospital so I can see it if you are-"

"Whoa whoa! Mom...relax."

I gave Nova another friendly punch. "I'm messing with you kid."

It was nice to see him blushing. Embarassed. Nevertheless,it faded away not long after.

"We have time kiddo. There anything you want to talk about?"

"Do you...miss him?"

"Your father? Gods above no,He can burn in the black flames of the void for all I ca-"

"No mom I meant...do you miss...Rey."

Nova's question struck a nerve. I clenched my fists once more,this time in rage rather than excitement.

I calmed myself down...it was a question...a question I needed to answer.

"I do...every day. Not a day goes by when I don't."

"Do you...think he'd like me?"

"I don't...I think he'd love you."

Nova looked down again. Ever since that day,all those years ago,I've not once seen a smile cross his face.

"You'd be a great role model for him if he were here."

"You really think so?"

I leaned in closer and gave Nova a gentle kiss on his forehead. "Yes. I think you would be. Now,enough with all the doom and gloom! I heard you went on a recent trip where there were spiders involved! And I know how much you despise spiders,you must tell me how my son triumphed over his phobia!"

"Get ready for a story then."

I sat up slowly in my bed,trying to avoid pulling out my drip,or the chord to my heart rate monitor. I'd already done so one too many times and caused panic across the entire hospital. Regardless,I listened intently as my son regaled me of his tale with spiders.

"I'm all ears."

"So we got a request to do an assignment on a Revenant who was hiding outside the city, and The farm girl and I fell into this deep hole in the ground..."

Despite the monotonous tone in his voice and his general look of uninterest,I could tell Nova was excited to tell me this. I wondered if he still wrote in his diary, writing his mini novels and if he still loved Ramen noodles...

Nevertheless,I spent the rest of the day listening to my son babble on about his adventures while I teased him on missed oppurtunities to kiss Eskarina and made him blush several times over.

I relished every second I spent with my son,for I knew,the next time he came,he may be met with an empty hospital bed instead of me.