"We just started building!" Jakobia exclaimed happily. Valdo had gifted her seven acres of land as a wedding gift. It was to assure her that she would never have to be homeless ever again. It was incredibly romantic and thoughtful. 

"Congrats." Kayson smiled. "With such a big home you can have loads of kids."

Valdo chuckled, "That's what we plan on doing as soon as Jakobia finishes university."

"That's great," he said, maintaining his smile.

I couldn't help but ask, "Do you want kids?"

His grey eyes turned to me, "Yes. Lots of them. I love kids." For some reason, Kayson wanting kids made me smile. Gabriele had wanted kids too. I never even got to tell him that I was pregnant. 

"Zuria has a son, Alessandro. He's the sweetest thing ever. You'd love him." Jakobia inserted.

Since we started dinner, Jakobia has been playing matchmaker. She'd exaggerate on my qualities as well as Kayson's.

"I'd love to meet him one day."

I remained silent at his request. 

No.

You will not be meeting my son.

Alessandro was too young to know his father was dead, and he was also too young to be introduced to a man that looked almost like his father's photos.

"Maybe one day," I mumbled. 

 "I'd like that," he responded with his signature smile. Every time he smiled a strange shiver ran through me. I had no idea why my body was responding to his smile, especially since Gabriele barely smiled. Gabriele thought smiling was a sign of weakness with the exception of his brother, Niccolo. Niccolo was devious and ruthless. His smirk was apart of his personality, and it made him even scarier to onlookers. 

Yeah, Kayson was attractive, but the only reason why my body was responding to him was because of his resemblance to Gabriele. 

Nothing else. 

Kayson looked at Jakobia, "Have you decided what university you want to attend?"

She shrugged, "I'm not sure yet to be honest. I don't even know what I want to do."

"The first step is knowing what field you want to work in." He sounded like the teacher he was. 

"I want to work with mothers and children, for sure," she replied. "Seeing Hannah helping so many women is an inspiration. I'm not as talented as Zuria or Emily so I can't offer much, but I want to."

"That's not true," Valdo said, looking at his wife. He turned to us, "She's an amazing artist. When I first saw her, she was drawing."

Jakobia looked at her husband in awe, "You remember?"

Valdo looked back at her and smiled, "Of course I remember. That's the moment I fell in love with you."

She blushed furiously. Valdo placed a small kiss on her cheeks. 

I smiled at the couple. "You guys are too cute." Only a few people get to experience a love like theirs, Hannah and Kevin were prime examples. 

"I agree," Kayson said. "I hope that one day I have a relationship as loving as yours." he looked at the couple then at me. "What about you, Zuria?"

I shook my head, "No. My husband was my true love, and he died." Gabriele had been my rescuer, my protector and my lover.  How can I love anyone else?

Kayson frowned, "So you'll never open yourself to love again? Is that what you're saying?"

It was exactly what I was saying. "Yes."

"You're going to stay single forever?" It was Jakobia who asked the question. After she's spent the last hour playing matchmaker, she'll be disappointed with my answer.  

"Yes."

He frowned. "I'm sure you have needs."

"If you're talking about sexual needs, I haven't had those since my husband died." A shocked expression showed on his face, so I continued. "You see, not many men can live up to his standards."

He chuckled. "He must have been a real stud?"

"He was." Gabriele was indeed a stud. He was a badass and everywhere he went eyes turned, both men and women. There was just something about him that made you want to look twice. It wasn't just his face that made him a stud. He was an expert in the bedroom. 

"What about emotional needs? Don't you want someone to cuddle with? Someone to talk to, have fun with?" Jakobia asked. 

Gabriele wasn't the type to cuddle unless it was after sex and we only ever spoke about business. 

What is fun?

 Our lives had been all about business. There was barely any time for fun.

"I have Alessandro." I can cuddle with him. I can talk to him about preschool and his friends. I can have fun with him by playing with his toys and bring him to parks. 

"What about him? What about your son? Don't you think he needs a male figure in his life?" Kayson asked. 

I frowned. "For your information, my son has plenty of male figures in his life. He has his uncles, his grandfather, and of course, he has Kevin and Valdo." His father's family wasn't the best role model, but they loved him, and they'll always protect him. What more could he need?

"I think he needs a father," Kayson said something that I have been saying ever since Gabriele died. Hearing someone else say it made me angry. 

Yes, Alessandro needs a father but not but 'a' father. He needed his father, and his father was dead. Gabriele can't be replaced. 

"I never asked for your opinion. I don't care what you think. Who do you think you are strolling into my life telling me what I do and do not need?" I frowned at him. "My husband has been dead for three years, but it feels like three weeks. I'm not ready to replace him with anyone. Especially not you."

I palmed my face, elbows on the table. I took a deep breath and looked at my hosts' faces. I've managed to throw my anger on him again in less than thirty-six hours. 

What a mess I've made!

I could see the disappointment know their Jakobia's eyes. I know she thought well of me or at least she did until a few minutes ago.

Kayson was the first to speak up. "I apologise. I'm sorry for making you upset. I never meant to. You're right; I'm no one important in your life, and I shouldn't be telling you want to do. It must have been awful to lose your husband. You're still not over his death, and maybe you'll never be. I just want you to know that I wasn't suggesting I take the role of your husband."

I sighed, embarrassed at my sudden outburst. He didn't deserve my attitude. He's been nothing nice since the moment he introduced himself, and I've been a complete bitch. 

Get a grip, Zuria!

It's not his fault he looked like Gabriele. 

"I'm sorry. It's hard for me to talk about these things. My husband died before I even got to tell him I was pregnant,. He died the same day I found out I was pregnant. I was devastated. I loved Gabriele very much. Talking about replacing him is hard. Talking about Alessandro, not growing up with his father, is even harder." I looked at Kayson, hoping that he accepted my apology. I turned to Jakobia, "I'm sorry. You invited me so I can apologise for how I acted last night and l managed to make it even worse tonight. I hope you can find it to forgive me."

She placed her hands on mine. "I'm the one who should be apologising. I guess because Valdo and I are so happy I just want all my friends to be happy too." 

"You don't have to be in love to be happy," Valdo said, breaking his silence. 

"But being in love makes it so much better." Jakobia inserted.

I loved Gabriele with all my heart, but happy wasn't a word I would have used to describe our relationship; neither were we sad. Gabriele was too busy helping his father with their mafia gang. We never went out on dates and parties. Dinner with his family on Sundays was the most. I understand why he couldn't give me more. His family was very important, we had to be careful. But I didn't mind that he was a criminal, we both were. All that mattered to me was that he came home and he did we made love until we couldn't anymore. 

Was that happiness?

Falling asleep every night in his arms, praying that he returns home the next day. 

Was that real happiness?

Yes, in my definition of happiness, it was. 

Certainly better than being abused by foster parents.

"Happiness isn't for everyone." After all that has happened in my life how could I possibly still believe that one day I'll get a happy ending?

Kayson frowned. "If you believe that then I guess we don't have much in common after all."

:....

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