FINN

Finn watched his soup swirl around slowly in the bowl in front of him. It happened to any still body of water on planet. Something to do with the north and south poles.

She died and came back to life

I almost lost her

A bird shrieked above, bringing Finn out of his thoughts. The chatter of the other commanders all around the lunch table flooded his ears once again as he returned to the real world. The Resistance crew sat at a long, wooden table, beneath the large plants and trees above. The leaves blocked the sun's rays, leaving only streaks and splashes of sunlight here and there. The sunlight moved whenever a gentle breeze blew through the outdoor eating area and rustled the leaves above. The breeze brought the scent of flowers and rain. The birds' chirps and cries echoed as though the clearing was in a vast cave, yet the voices of the officers around Finn were absorbed into the rainforest around them, muffling their sound.

Everyday, Finn's senses became more and more alive. It had started in his emotions, his connection to Rey and Leia, to those who were strong in the Force, thankfully not Kylo Ren, although Finn could sense whenever Ren had gotten into Rey's head.

Then it was nature and all forms of life, that came more and more alive each day around Finn. Especially here, at the Resistance base. There was so much nature and forest and life, he was overwhelmed with it all; the smells of the fresh river water that the plants around him drank, the whispering of the swaying leaves, the curiosity of the joyful birds above, the uninhibited freedom of the wind, moving through and around everything. 

It was as beautiful as it was terrifying. Finn didn't know how long he could keep this secret inside of him, the one he'd almost told Rey when they had been swallowed up into the sinking sand. He'd also tried to tell Poe, later, on Kef Bir, where the Death Star lay defeated in the depths of the Ocean Moon's waves. Finn had had enough of Poe's ignorance towards Rey and what she was dealing with and he'd confronted Poe,

"She's not herself. You have no idea what she's fighting."

"And you do?" Poe had shot back.

"Yeah, I do. And so does Leia."

Poe hadn't understood. He was the opposite of sensitive; practical and unemotional, except when he got angry. But even then, his anger seemed logical too. Not like Kylo Ren. Not like Rey when she was not being herself and making decisions she would regret later. The Force could do that to you, take control away. Poe couldn't understand that. Rey had died the day of the great battle. Finn had felt it.

She died... and he'd brought her back to life.

Ren had.

No, not Ren, but Ben.

Finn's grip tightened on his spoon, which he held mindlessly in his hand. He should have been there. He should have helped Rey. There were so many times she'd been in danger and he'd done nothing, nothing with all this Force power flowing in him, because he was too afraid to use it.

"You alright there, General?" Jannah's happy smile filled Finn's vision like a second sun in an open sky. He let go of the spoon that he'd been clutching and it clattered onto the table, with bumps that it hadn't had before, bumps which fit the groves of his fingers that had been tightened around it.

"Cool spoon." Jannah reached for it and Finn snatched it away.

"I'm not sharing my lunch with you," he tried to joke, but he knew his smile wasn't convincing.

"I don't eat lunch anyway," Jannah said, studying him, not in a concerned way, just assessing his mood it seemed. She had a way of making Finn feel vulnerable, yet safe at the same time, like they'd known each other for years. But he wasn't sure yet who he could trust with the knowledge of his Force sensitivity. He suspected Jannah might be like him too, though on a much lower scale. She'd mentioned having a 'feeling' that compelled her to drop her weapons and walk out on the First Order, along with the others that were with her. Finn suspected the others had followed her, that she was the one who'd compelled them. She was a leader, through and through. And she was also very observant.

Finn casually tucked the reshaped spoon under a napkin on the table.

"You should eat lunch today," he said. "It's going to be a long day and supper probably won't be until late into the night."

"You mean, the ceremonies and your induction to General?" Jannah was already distracted by something else. Her group from Kef Bir were here at the Resistance base now and some of the men didn't have the best table side manners. She seemed to feel responsible for their behaviour.

Finn turned to look where she was looking. Two of her team were throwing a long vine up into the tree branches above and causing a cloud of seeds to rain down on the other side of the table. The other Resistance officers scrambled to cover their food as the seeds landed on everything.

"Just a moment. "Jannah got up to leave, then turned back. "Congratulations, by the way, on becoming co-General with Poe. You two make a great team. You balance one another."

Her comment struck Finn as he watched her walk away. She was right. Where Finn was emotional, Poe was practical. And where Finn was a coward, Poe was brave. It was this cowardice that held him back from telling Rey about his Force sensitivities. But how could he tell her now? She'd wonder why he didn't help her, countless times, when he could have. He'd simply stood and watched as she fought Ren to exhaustion, watched as Ren pushed her to destroy the ship that they believed held Chewy. Finn had done nothing, so many times when Rey could have easily been killed. 

He sensed what Rey fought inside of herself and he wasn't sure he could say no to the dark side, the way she'd been able to for so long. She was ultimately good, even when she was blinded by rage. She'd faced Palpatine head on and didn't turn to the dark side. But Finn would have faltered. He may still end up falling some day. What if he hurt Rey and everyone he loved? He couldn't take that chance. So he kept it all inside, willing this Force to not come forth. And yet, it was already growing and changing him, despite his efforts to keep it in check, to pretend it wasn't there.

Finn pulled out the spoon from beneath the napkin. A wooden spoon. He felt the bumps left behind where the wood formed to his fingers.

Would he ever tell Rey? Was it even a good idea to be a General for the Resistance? It was a position of power, and being Force sensitive didn't always go well with a position of power. He could hardly have said no to Poe's heartfelt plea, 'I can't do this alone." But Finn needed training. He needed self-discipline and practice in meditation. Or maybe he just needed to be someone with a pure enough heart not to turn evil, and he wasn't sure if he was.

Chewy let out a loud cry of joy and everyone cheered. Finn couldn't see what the commotion was about, but there was definitely a festive air at the Resistance base today. Even the forest seemed to be celebrating with them.

They had a lot to celebrate. They'd won against impossible odds and everyone was still on a high from defeating Palpatine and his army. What they didn't know, and only Finn and Poe knew, plus a small number of the commanding officers like Ma, was that the dead had once again spoken. They'd underestimated Palpatine's ability to make endless contingency plans for any and all outcomes, including the possible destruction of his body, yet again. He was still alive, in some form, they weren't quite sure what threat he was, but he was moving forces once again.

Finn got up from his seat at the table. He was the only one there now. The many soup bowls and pastries had been left unattended as everyone was now gathered around Chewy in the near distance. Finn sighed. He needed to make more of an effort to fit in, to be one of the team. As a General, the others needed to be able to trust him and in order for that to happen, they needed to see him be engaged with what was going on at the base.

Before he could join the others though, a wave of feeling overtook him. There was no other way to describe it. It was the Force, moving in him and attuning him to Rey. Something had startled her, surprised her, concerned her. Something dramatic enough to reach across the space that separated them, and register to him. He didn't think she was in danger, but he definitely felt that something had happened. He had to contact Rey.

POE

"I literally just talked to her ten minutes ago, Finn. You need to relax." Poe ducked his head under the underbelly of the Millennium Falcon, working with R2D2 to fix the latest damages. BB-8 was with the rest of the crew at the lunch gathering, and by the sounds of it, there was some kind of amicable game going on now. But Poe wasn't in the mood for games. He'd talked to Rey and she didn't seen interested in joining them tonight, as though she refused to be part of the team, to be part of the Resistance unless she had to be.

"You don't understand-" Finn began. Poe was tired of hearing that he didn't understand. What was there to understand? That Rey fought an inner battle every moment of every day? They all did, except he knew her's was a more difficult battle. Still, Finn seemed to act as though he was the only one who understood her. He was just in love with her, or thought he was, and continued to act like his entire life was some tragic romance that nobody could ever understand.

"Yes, I do understand," Poe interrupted. "You want to check up on her." He turned on the small welding iron in his hand but Finn spoke over the sound of sparking metal.

"No, that's not it-"

"She doesn't like to be checked up on." I should know, she basically blew me off. Poe was beginning to sound crabby and he knew it. He was getting more impatient with Finn, ever since the sinking sands, when Finn had declared he had something important to tell Rey, at the point they all thought they would die. The three of them were friends, comrades in arms. But Finn was trying to make Rey and him some kind of exclusive unit. Didn't he see that she'd never truly let him in? Finn acted like they had something secret, something special. Well it was all in his head. Rey belonged to no one.

"I just feel like something is off," Finn insisted. Poe almost said 'are you still following her around? Just let it go,' but he held back the remark and simply turned off the welding iron.

"Are you ready for tonight's induction?" he said instead.

"About that, I'm not sure if I-"

"You're not backing out. Everyone knows you as a General now. You helped us win the biggest war known to the galaxy. You're not running away from this."

"Did I say I was?" Finn looked angry and Poe sighed. He removed his safety goggles and set his hand on Finn's shoulder. "No, sorry, you're right. I shouldn't have said that."

Finn seemed to relent and his shoulders dropped. "I'm not afraid of being General. I'm afraid of being..." he swallowed hard and couldn't seem to go on.

"Being what?" Poe asked. Please don't say, being in love, Poe thought. He didn't have the stomach for the mushy stuff. Him and Zorii's short fling years ago had been a whirlwind of flirting and arguing. He'd only kissed her once. No, she'd kissed him, to shut him up.

As though coming to the call of his thoughts, Zorri ran up to them, helmet off and a serious look on her face.

"What is it?" Poe asked, not unfriendly but concerned.

"It's Ma. She's missing."