Calum's PoV

Sam's voice echoed in my head. He really - REALLY - thought the cancer was back. Part of me was angry at myself for even asking. Why was I putting myself through this before Poppy had even got home? With them on the other end of the phone, the only sound I could hear was the purr of the engine. We'd all gone deadly silent. Nice one, Calum.

"Cal?" Poppy's voice finally broke the silence, it sounded like she was checking on me. Why should she be doing that when she's the one with the diagnosis? I'm still healthy.

"Hey, babe." My voice was low and soft, slightly depressive yet also anxious.

"It'll be fine. We've got this."

***

The time finally came. We approached the hospital with our stomachs twisting. Poppy had already had to do this once, by herself, and it suddenly dawned on me just how alone I'd left her through the journey last time. I had been touring, living life and having fun - of course she was always on my mind and the worry of what was to come - but I'd never really attended anything with her and those seemed like the worst. This drive up to the hospital was making me feel sick. I imagined myself leaping out of the car and taking off - I could only imagine how she was feeling right now. I grabbed her soft, small hand in mine and caused her to look over, her eyes glassy with tears before we'd even got there.

"Hey, it's okay. It's going to be okay." I rubbed my thumb over her knuckle in the hope of calming her the way she calms me. She offered me a half-smile as the car finally stopped and the driver turned round to let us know we'd arrived. It was weird though, Sam always normally accompanied us to the appointments. Maybe he was already there working another case?

We exited the vehicle and walked hand in hand through the large automatic glass doors that led into this new-build hospital. Everything was gleaming, sparkling with that new shine that doesn't last very long. People were buzzing around, so busy that they didn't even recognise us entering without any security or help at all. Poppy dragged me along to a waiting room, which seemed full of really sick looking people. They were pale, frail and had the darkest circles under their eyes I'd ever seen. Some were near on skin and bone, others were bald from their treatments, some shaking as they waited for their name to be called.

"This is it. The treatment centre." Poppy said morbidly as she took in those around her. Was she going to become this? We'd caught the cancer so early last time that she just had surgery and it was done. Would I have to see her change into this sick person in front of my eyes this time? Once again, I felt sick and I took that moment to really take in her facial features - just how they looked now, how her plump lips framed her smile, her prominent cheekbones just emphasised her beauty and her big wide eyes were framed with the longest lashes. It wouldn't matter what happened, I'd still love her, but I just wanted to prepare myself.

"Poppy Hood?" A nurse called into the waiting room and a small flutter in my gut caught my attention. It was the first time I'd heard her called Hood and it was nice, though in this situation I'd call it more bittersweet. This situation had taken over everything, I barely even remembered we'd had run ins with her family or that we'd got married recently. It just felt like everything was dark and revolving around this 'C' word I hated so much. We both stood quickly, walking with the nurse into yet another shiny room, nothing in it letting it feel homely. It was so clinical. Not even a poster on the wall or a plant on a shelf. It was bare.

"Hi Poppy, and I assume this is your-" the doctor began, one that I didn't recognise. It was weird as I thought Dr Patel was leading on it all and from what I was told, he was a very friendly man. This guy just seemed to get straight to the point.

"My Husband, Calum." Poppy said, offering me a scared smile.

"Is Doctor Forrester coming? I haven't seen him yet." I looked around the room, wondering why Poppy hadn't mentioned him yet. Normally they were attached at the hip for these appointments.

"Oh, I said he wasn't needed anymore." This doctor was blunt once again. Both me and Poppy sat back in our chairs in confusion. Why wasn't he needed?

"W-why?" Poppy asked, her leg already twitching in a way that made me know she knew something bad was coming. Her nursing instincts had kicked in again.

"Sorry to have to tell you Poppy, but the cancer is back and with vengeance. Surgery won't cure it, I don't think chemo will work. I think it's best to refer you for end of life care and-"

"Woah woah." I interrupted, looking between Poppy and the doctor with my mouth agape and my eyes wide. "End of life? Like she's going to die?"

"Well, yeah, that's what the words say." The doctor said rudely. He looked away from me like I was an idiot and looked back to Poppy. "It'll be months still, we hope, so enough time for you to have the baby for your due date but I'd keep in mind we may need to do a caesarean should your health deteriorate too much." Poppy remained silent, her hands clamped onto her knees as she took shallow breaths trying to come to terms with it all. I still couldn't. Poppy was going to die?

"Is there anything that could prolong the end?" She asked carefully, her eyes not moving from the doctor. It was as if she were too scared to look at me.

"Well, chemo may reduce the tumour slightly but the outlook isn't great." The doc was once again blunt and unsympathetic. My chin quivered as he delivered shot by shot without any care.

"How can you be so... just uncaring? I'm sure there's a thousand ways to deliver this news that isn't how you've done it!" I got mad, fury took over from my sadness. "I want to speak to someone else."

"It wouldn't matter whether you spoke to one or one hundred people. You're still going to raise a kid by yourself. I'd sort yourself out before you make yourself ill." I scoffed in annoyance, in upset and frustration. How could he say this? How could he act this way? Furiously, I stood up and sent my chair crashing behind me, running to his desk and swiping all the papers off his desk so they floated around us like blossom in the wind. He hit a button and an alarm blared. It rung and rung and rung, slowly deafening me.

"Cal? Honey?" My eyes shot open to see Poppy leaning over me with worry in her eyes. "Your alarm is going off. Were you having a bad dream?" I sat up quickly, my body drenched in sweat as I breathed heavily. Oh thank god it was a dream. I closed my eyes and took some calming breaths in, pulling Poppy to my chest to hold her tightly. Her cold hand touched my chest and cooled it instantly. "Cal, you're scaring me." She said into my chest. "We've got my appointment today, are you okay to go?"