To Ricky, my love,

By the time you read this, I'll be gone. I wish I could tell you when I'll be back, or if I will. All I know is that however this turns out, you'll be okay. If I fail, if I die, you will find your path again and eventually, when the time is right, it'll lead you back to me. In the months I was gone, you grew so much more than you realized. No matter what others tell you or what you may tell yourself, you're still a demon lord. You may have forgotten your strength, but it hasn't left you. That black fire is still raging somewhere inside of you. After all, I doubt a little forest spirit could launch me out of a window like you did. I haven't forgotten what we said to each other right before that happened, what I promised.

I've never been one to break promises. "Real men keep their word. They follow through," my father beat that into my head, and after I was turned, my masters would repeated a similar mantra. What does a killer have to redeem himself besides his fidelity? But when I look back over my life, I always linger on the fact that the two promises I'd broken were the most important, and made to the only two people I've ever loved. It haunts me, despite me knowing that I had to break those promises for good reasons. Ever since Kyoto, Yuki has sworn to me that he didn't care, that he was happy I betrayed my word. Something in the back of my mind keeps telling me you won't be so forgiving. To be honest, my love, I'm utterly terrified that you'll never look at me the same way again. If your hatred is the price I must pay to save you, then so be it.

If, by some amazing stroke of luck, this plan works, I can only pray you'll still claim me. I can't say I haven't thought about it, what it would be like for you and I to be equals. We could rule the world. You've always been my dark prince, my shadow king, but imagining myself in the throne beside you, sitting atop this crazy world, that does bring a smile to my face. It's childish, I know. Love tends to make a terrible hopeless romantic of me. No matter how angry or upset you are reading this letter, I know damn well it's impossible for you not to smile when you think of all the stupid, cheesy shit I do.

I can't tell you how badly I want to see that smile. There's this terrible pain in my chest, like my heart wants to come up my throat. Thinking about how beautiful you are, how happy you make me, the love you've given me, and then realizing I'm putting that all on the line, it makes me sick to my stomach. I don't want to ever be without you, Ricky. I don't want to fall asleep in a coffin that doesn't smell of your cologne ever again. But, all of this pain, all of this misery and risk and distance, I'd do this all over again for you. I'd do it a thousand fucking times. A million. I would do anything for you, my love.

That four letter word, I won't run scared of it anymore. Trust me, I've come to understand the gravity it holds here. If this does kill me, I damn well am not going to die without telling you the truth; I love you, Ricky. My heart and soul. -Chris

Blood. There was so much blood. Part of me wondered if I'd finally died and this was some sort of eternal torment, but even this much, I doubt it could account for the sum of my victims. The 'House of Light' was far from a house and it definitely wasn't filled with light. It was an unsuspecting library on the surface, an archive for old magic and history books. The priests who resided here worked as bookkeeps. However, come sunset, the red light of the sun that only a soul eater could see would illuminate a secret passageway inside the library. And those innocent bookkeeps, they knew when a demon lord to-be was in their midst. They sent away any bystanders, all while keeping a eerie gaze upon me.

They attempted to fight me. I successfully made the gamble that they couldn't see the red passage nor would they follow me. I remembered I did need one of them, and I dragged him through by silver rosary on his neck. He didn't have much fight beyond that point, as if they knew it was their destiny to become sacrificial lambs. The stairwell beyond the passage led deep into the ground until it opened to a massive cavern. My path ended on a narrow cliff that hung several stories above the cavern's floor. And there, that's where I saw the blood. It filled the chamber wall to wall, obstructing any view of the ground. There was no telling how deep it was.

I slammed the priest's skull against the edge of the cliff. My sharp claws ripped into his throat, causing his carotid arteries to spurt blood like a fucking fountain. His blood dripped and sprayed into the pool below. The room changed, yet it didn't. There was nothing there, but I could see the writing on the walls. And it was still quiet, yet I could hear whispers on a nonexistent wind. I could feel that nonexistent wind on my skin. This was finally it; The point of no return. Who am I kidding? I crossed that line a long time ago.

The blood began pulsating, boiling. It called for my flesh in the most threatening of tones. Whether or not I had what it took to become a demon lord, this blood informed me I owed it my body. So be it. I turned my back to the cliff's edge and allowed that nonexistent wind to give me the final push. My body fell for what felt like forever, until the dark currant washed over my vision. It didn't feel hot, it didn't feel like anything in fact.

And the nonexistent wind... And the silent voices... Was I even still falling? Did I ever- Where am I? How did I end up... Here? The sky was lavender, and the horizon, it kept going and going and going. I couldn't see anything for miles. My knees were knelt inside a shadow black liquid, like ink, or old blood. It went as far as the horizon, too. It was all that was here; Black and purple.

Suddenly the chain of my necklace forcefully snapped and flew off. Then, a shadow eclipsed the horizon, and a gruff voice came, "My children do no serve one another." The Father's silhouette towered over me. He was a true demon, and unlike the other deities, he stood at the size of a titan.

I snatched my necklace up from the black waters. It seared against my skin, but I refused to drop it. "I didn't come here to become one of your children. I came to save one. Save him. The Sanctuary of Amadeus was damaged, and you're going to fucking fix it." He only stared at me. "You fucking hear me?!"

The sigil's burn intensified before exploding in a violent, blinding flash of light. And just like that, as if none of this had happened, as if it was a bad fever dream, it was all gone. I was elsewhere now, both physically and spiritually. The edges of my vision blurred in and out of focus. There was no other sound in my ears but the isolated cry of a young woman. It was so haunting. I struggled to find her, to find anything though my hazy vision.

I saw orbs of white light. They emitted the same energy as the burst that'd brought me here. It was beyond otherworldly, yet it oddly felt familiar. Between these lights, I found the back of the crying girl. She was so thin, and practically collapsed on a stone staircase. Her sobs felt like a distant memory that I couldn't quite find in my mind. They were so guttural, papally plagued with fear and self-disgust. A beautiful female voice arrived to comfort her. It was too gargled to understand, yet I could feel her love.

Whatever was going on, it was clear to me that I was nonexistent to them. I wasn't even really here. That young girl, I felt all her despair, and that woman, I felt all her sympathy. I couldn't make out their faces. It took everything in me to even see the setting; the lights, the night sky, the stone staircase. In a blink, one single thing became clear to me. Upon the girl's exposed back, I saw a black lotus inked into her skin.

And then I woke up. I actually woke up. I shot up in bed, fighting to catch my breath. A bed? Dark red silk sheets, the smell of jasmine. An elf's dainty hand fell upon my shoulder. I was in Ezra and Yuu's hotel room in Shimane. Did I ever even leave? Was this all some fucked up nightmare? When I tried to picture it all, the passageway, the cavern, the world beyond it, it was so fuzzy. My mind hurt thinking about it, like I wasn't supposed to ever look at those memories again.

"Chris," Yuu whispered, "Are you okay?"

I still struggled to regain my breath. "How the fuck did I get here?"

"We were going to ask you the same thing. Ezra and I went out to eat. You were gone when we left, but when we came back, you were here." He placed the back of his hand to my forehead. "You're a little warm. For you, anyways. I'll be right back."

He left, no doubt to retrieve Ezra along with some medicine. I took a deep breath in and laid back down. What the fuck even happened? That last bit, it was just a dream. I figured out that much, but why did I dream it? I'd never seen either of those women before in my life. Not that I'd know, I guess. Their faces were a complete blur to me. I really thought the whole consuming a thousand souls bit was going to be the difficult part of this, but I felt completely drained laying in that bed. My muscles were beyond aching even. They'd become numb.

Yuu returned and placed a cold towel upon my forehead. It felt nice. I reached my hand up to press it into my skin and Yuu gasped sharply. "Your hand..."

Oh, fuck me. What now? A symbol was burned into my palm. It was similar to other demon lord sigils, but I'd never seen one like this. Was it... Mine? I lifted my other hand to find the black burn Ricky'd given me had spread down my hand. Only a little of my original skin color remained, and it was on my palm, in the shape of his sigil. I suddenly remembered my necklace burning my hand and rushed to feel it against my chest. It wasn't there.

"My necklace- The one that's the Master's, where is it?" I asked desperately.

Yuu only stared back at me in confusion. I knew he knew what I was referring to, but he couldn't work out an answer. Thankfully, he was able to divert his attention when Ezra entered the room. He approached Yuu, placing a kiss upon his forehead. "Give us a moment, my dear." I forced myself to sit up in bed and face him. He took a seat beside me, giving my hands a glance. "Yuu said you were tossing and turning pretty badly in your sleep."

"I had a weird dream. Nightmare, more like it." I replied.

"What'd you see?" He asked.

"It was a bit of a blur, but I remember it was outside. There were these orbs of light, and a crying girl. I didn't see her face but she had a tattoo of a lotus." I said, "I think it was a lotus, anyways. It could be something totally different here."

Ezra's calm facade broke for just a moment. He looked like a deer in headlights. I'm not sure what kind of reaction I expected out of him, but it wasn't that. Yuu lingered in the doorway long after he'd left my side. He glanced back and ever so delicately said, "You should tell him."

"No." Ezra instantly snapped.

"You told me." Yuu responded.

"I told you because you're my spouse, Yuu. It's different."

The elf turned around completely to face us. I'm not accustomed to seeing him serious or somber. "Chris is the only reason why I'm still your spouse. He saved your life and our relationship. He deserves to know."

I didn't know what to say. It wasn't a conversation I should get myself involved in, anyways. There was a painful tension in the room. Ezra lowered his head in compliance. Yuu came to him, grasping his hands and whispering to him how deeply he cared for him, that he'd always be there. Then, he left us alone.

A shaky sigh fell from Ezra's mouth. "You have to promise me you won't tell a soul. There's some people in this world that would do horrific things to me and everyone I care about if they found out. I... I couldn't live without Yuu. I don't ever want to be without him, and I never ever want to see him hurt, especially because of me." His voice was so unsteady. Ezra was actually... scared.

"Ezra..." I moved to the edge of the bed and sat beside him. "You're my family. You both are. I'd never do anything to hurt you. I promise, it doesn't leave this room."

He turned away from me and quickly batted away oncoming tears. There's something so heart wrenching about seeing him this vulnerable. Ezra rose to his feet. He untied his kimono, slowly allowing it to fall down his shoulders. As it went down his back, I saw it; The black lotus.

"The others told me about the trans ban in Khar'Zul. Vin said it's why you stayed behind." I spoke softly, "The girl I saw... It was you, wasn't it?"

Ezra was silent. The sound a tear splashing against the marble floor couldn't escape my vampire ears. He pulled his kimono back up and readjusted it properly. "It's an irreversible transformation. That kind of magic is outlawed in a lot places, not just Khar'Zul."

"And... It was something you did willingly?"

"Yes."

"Okay." I said. "So, I take it you know where the place with the orbs is, then?"

He turned back to face me, his eyes glassy. "Chris- You're- You're just going to change the subject? Just like that?"

I shrugged, "Yeah. What, did you think I was going to treat you like shit for it? You became who you wanted to be. That's nothing to be ashamed of, but trust me, I understand why you hide it. No one needs to know anyways."

A broken smile crept onto his face. He sniffled, wiping his eyes once more. "Yeah, I know where it is. It's not far from here. My old Master will probably know why you saw it in your dreams. It's her home, after all. You should probably get some rest first."

"You too." I replied, "Yuu's waiting on you to come to bed."

Ezra laughed knowingly and saw himself out. That little elf is even more amazing than I thought, to so fearlessly love someone that this world shuns and put his own life at risk for that love. Yuu may like to act like nothing more than a flirty ditz, but I know deep down he's far more than that. His healing goes far beyond what's physical and tangible.