I gripped my hand on the steering wheel. The moment my eyes landed on the view in front of me. I could pull the break, that relief passed through me. That girl was perfectly fine but staring at me with wide terrific eyes and her palm covering her face. I smoldered out of the car, made my way towards the girl.

That girl seemed to me nearly ten. Don't she know to cross the road at such a big age? I was gritting my teeth in anger. I was all set to scold her, but much to my surprise before I could say a word. She was a turn, and a second later received a slap on her cheek. I had a look at the source, getting astonished.

There was a woman, seemed nearly of the thirties. Wearing a yellow kameez while shalwar was green. That dupatta of hers wrapped around her head, covered it up. That traditional clothing of a woman living in Punjab. She glared at the girl, hold her through her shoulder. That eye of hers shedding tears. That fear developed in her face, the fear of that young girl coming under the wheels.

"I told you to stay behind!" Tightened her grip on that girl's shoulder, "what was the need to cross in a hurry?" She pulled her into a hug, held her close to her heart. Gave herself assurance that she was safe and in her arms. Soon she showered kisses on that girl, finding her safe. Finally came out of the shock and at that moment, she noticed me.

She looked guilty, stood back on her legs. Broke the hug and hold the girl's elbow. "I am sorry for the trouble." She apologized knowing that her child was at fault. I just gave a node and was making my way back to the car when I felt a touch on my knuckles. I turned myself. That was the naïve kid. Her eyes stared at me innocently. She gestured me through her hands to bend down. I first got confused but later understood it. I got myself on my knees and she planted a kiss on my cheek. Her eyes shined with happiness.

"Thank you, bhaiya." That melodious voice and that beautiful smile made me remember her.

That innocent soul in front of me was completely a resemblance to her. Agony passing through me on the realization. A moment over there would make me weaker, I fake a smile to that girl. I made my way towards the Volkswagen, not giving a second glance at them. I was on my destination to Chandigarh, to attend the biggest event of my buddy's life. He was getting married, a decision which I thought he would never take in his life. I was wrong, and he proved to me.

I took my driver seat, putting the engine back to life. I could still find graze of that young girl but had no courage left to have a look. The fear that I would break apart. I was not ready for it and never I was going to be. Was she really resemblance to her? Or was it me who was trying to find her in everyone. This Restraint Love not leaving my heart.

That beautiful and innocent face of that child made me drift back to my memories. That accident took place two years back. Which changed my life forever.

##Past##

A day away from my city feels like hell. The reason I used to hate business trips away from Mumbai. The trip to Chandigarh exhausted me, and I was making my way back to Mumbai. That trip had to turn out to be an enormous mess. The project got canceled and turning up there was just a waste of time. 

With those thoughts occupied in my brain and affecting my mood horribly. I was driving the car. I heard a beep sound gave a glance at the Id, the cell which was lying on the passenger seat. I let out a breath in annoyance; I was not at all in a mood for a conversation. I heard once again the beep, and I knew she would not withdraw unless I answer it. 

I clicked a button on my Bluetooth headset, only to witness a frustrated tone from the other side. "Why on the earth were you not receiving the calls?" She was scolding me, she had the guts to do that. 

"What to do, Sara? I am not free like you." Again been my sarcastic self.  

She grumbled something under her breath, most probably cursing me. I exasperated her. The reason there was silence for a second or so. I broke the silence. I was never the guy who placate people.

"Are you opening your mouth or should I hang the call?" I scowled at her and my hands on the way to hang it. 

"Siddharth listens to me for once...." My head turned blank after it. It horrified me to see that scene in front of my eyes. Before I could press the break, I had knocked down the person in front of me. That girl had flown up in the air at such a speed and landed on the ground in a pool of blood. 

"Holy shit!" I Cursed myself for it. I threw the headset on the passenger seat, from which still Sara was shouting. She might get a clue that something was up with me. I had no time to explain to her anything, at the moment my mind itself was not working. I hope that girl was fine. Before I could reach there already, the people from the surrounding areas had gathered.  

I made my way, pushed them aside only to witness a beautiful and innocent soul lay in the pool of blood. 

##Past end###

Bluetooth headset brought me back to reality as it was beeping. I know who it was, not wasting a second I answered it out. 

"How many times had I told you not to disturb me when I am driving?" I was mad at her, because of her last time I met with an accident. 

"Siddharth can you cool down for once. Why you're always in this scowling attitude? You're coming to attend a wedding, not a war." Sara spoke from the other side, behaving like a tutor. 

"And you know that this is not less than a war for me." I felt a little melancholy, as the realization hit me. I knew it would be difficult, but that what I had decided, and I would not abandon it. 

"Are you sure? You're going for it? Siddharth there is still time, have a second thought." She was persisting me to surrender. From the day we got the news, it concerned her. She was well aware of my inner turmoil. 

"I am going for it and I don't want to discuss any further." I ended the decision. That conversation already spoiled my mood. I hang it without listening to her any further, I did not understand why she called me. Could she once come to point directly? Shook my head in disbelief. She was Sara, who was known for it. 

My sight went on the rear-view mirror. That messy black hair of mine was falling on my forehead. That brown eye had forgotten what glowing with happiness meant. The black circle around it only gave witness to my many sleepless nights. That oval shape face had turned pale and a short boxed beard on my face. It would be a lie if I said that I had no time to shave it off, it was moreover a hope that she would ask me to do it. The way she used to do. She had thought me to live in a delusion world. That hope not leaving me even after two years. 

I put my hand under my pocket, pull out a cigarette from it. Lighted it with the lighter I had, inhaling in. Closing my eyes in peace and then exhaling the smoke out from the window. Cigarettes addicted me to the way her thoughts did. The only difference was cigarettes gave me peace, but her thoughts always made me lose it. 

//

Finally, I was in Chandigarh. After completing twenty seven hours of journey, which I had to admit was nothing but a tiring one. Parking the car in a parking lot were a dozen of the cars were waiting for me. I finally rested my back on the seat, closing my eyes and rubbing it off. Stretching myself a little, made my way out of the car. Locking it, thought to take the luggage later. It was implausible that I was standing in front of the 'Hotel Mountain View'. 

The name itself shares it had a mountain view, in the backdrop of a hill known as Shivalik Hill. The pleasant surrounding expanded its value, the reason it already packed the hostel with the visitors. Though most of them were present to witness a wedding which would soon start. The hustle-bustle going made me believe that I was present on the occasion. There was one week left for it, but the excitement and preparation were as if the wedding was the next day. 

I was just observing the surrounding when my sight went on the girl who was busy staring at me. Her eyes fixed on me, though she was standing with many of her friends. The moment I met eyes to hers, she smiled. I fake a smile. She was making her way towards me now. Fully dressed in a blue embroidery gown. Her fair skin making her look beautiful in that piece of cloth. That straight hair that was reaching just to her shoulder was left open. Her almond shape eyes shined in happiness, a beautiful smile was glowing as she stood in front of me.    

"Hi! Its Navya," she introduced herself. Her eyes expecting me to do the same. 

I smiled at her, and before I could introduce myself. I heard a voice. Both of us glanced at the soul to find her. She waved a hand toward us. That fair bright face having a hint of sadness underlying in it upon seeing my condition. I knew this would come. She was wearing an Anarkali of pink and white combination one. Making her look absolutely adorable in it. 

Her brown wavy hairs flying in the sky as she rushed towards me. She was seeing me after a week, after the huge argument we had that day. That brown eye stared at me with concern. Her instincts were not allowing her to see me over here. As she felt that it would shatter me in a worse way. She was adamant about not letting me come here, but how would I miss a chance of meeting her. How? My face was questioning her the same. 

"Sid so you're finally over here." That disappointment underlying in her voice. 

"I think so?" Mocked her, making her glare me. "Now come on Sara! Are you going to welcome me like that?" Gave her disbelief gaze. "It's your brother's wedding." Tried to cheer her up, faking a smile. 

She was not going to some in my trap, "yeah, my brother's wedding." Sounding despondent, that girl Navya was eyeing us with suspiciousness. I fake a smile at her and wrapped my hands around Sara's neck. Dragged her along with me. 

Sara stared at me for answers to unasked questions. Only one word out of her mouth, "why?" That one word had a thousand questions underlying in it. Which answers were hard for me to find. Why? That one word was enough to pierce my heart. Both lost in grief, which apart from us no one was aware of. What could be a more beautiful friendship than the one Sara shared with me? Rather been happy for her brother's marriage, she was sad for me. That was the bond we shared! 

"Now I am getting jealous!" That pleasant voice was sounding unpleasant, as the person was jealous at the moment. Sara giggled on listening to it while my upper lip turned into a slight smile. There he was in his shorts and a white shirt, his appearance was not matching with his status at the moment. Not from any angle was looking like a typical groom. He was five feet ten inches high. That dark brown eyes had turned sleepy, showed he had just woke up. His messed up hair and the yawning face was telling it loud. 

"And why is that so, bro?" Sara could not stop her giggles. 

"Because you, idiot is standing on my place." He frowned, seeing my hands on her shoulder. 

"Now you're behaving as if you're his girlfriend, bro." Shook her head, gave him a disbelief look. "Don't forget you're getting married and soon you will be busy with your wife and Sid will be entirely for me." With that, Sara gifted me with a side hug. 

This was an everyday occurrence, pulling each other leg with my name. I used to enjoy their teasing session too as that was the only source of happiness in my life. After her leaving my life, this was the childish thing I was trying to find in my life. That would make me feel alive as it felt that she was beside me. 

"Sara I am warning you." That warning tone, "you better stay away from him." I always knew how possessive he was regarding me. Allowed no one else to share the same bond with me. Both possess the same possessive trait, the reason that we were called buddies.  

"This is the first time in history where a brother is warning sister to stay away from his friend rather than warning his friend." That glaring look she was giving to his brother. 

"As I am well aware that you're very much risk for him. Now move away from him." Shooing her away from me with his hands. 

"You! What do you think of me? I will not eat him up." That deadly glares she is showering on him. 

"We never know, you're capable of anything." Shrugged his shoulder. 

"Raghav!" She scowled as she had enough of him. 

"Yes, Sara?" Winked at her in response. 

"Talking to you is just a waste of time, idiot!" She stamped her foot in annoyance as she moved from there. 

I witnessed this immature Sara only in front of Raghav. Or she was not less than a tutor for me. We both chuckled, glancing at her retreating figure. 

"She had not changed a bit," Shook his head in disbelief while adoring his sister with a smile. Raghav used to love teasing her, that was his way to express his love to her. 

He turned his sight to look at me. He pulled me into a brotherly hug and soon broke it. That annoyance built in his eyes, "is this the time to come?" Glared at me. "I was calling you from the past week and you came when..." I interrupted him. 

"When the wedding has one more week." I stressed, especially on 'one more week'. It made him aware that I didn't come on the wedding day the way he was behaving. He narrowed his eyes at me on listening to it. 

"So? You're my best friend and it was your responsibility to look after everything but you." Gave me a disappointed look. "What if you had not done it? But I will be one month before your wedding. Planning every single thing out." I gave him a sad smile. He really thought I would ever marry. 

"So you have still not moved from that girl?" Gave me an unbelievable look. "Two years had passed for it, Sid. She had not returned to you back and you still have that hope." Been mad at me.

Staring at me keenly, "just look at you. You're looking like a dead body! This is not the Siddharth I knew." Stared at me in despondent. 

"Raghav if you will continue with this. It will be better that I leave." Turned, but he holds my wrist. 

"I end the topic over here." Surrender himself, "I want to make you meet someone." That excitement in his eyes but I was least interested in it. I was not ready to face it so soon. 

"Raghav not now, I am hell tired and want some rest. A road journey from Mumbai to Chandigarh is not a joke." Gave him an exhausted look. 

"So? Who told you to have one? Come on, Sid! Thousands of flight fly through the sky in the world each day, not each one of has a crash. I don't know when your phobia of flights will get overcome." Shook his head. I had enough of him, did he called me here just to list out my faults? I just gave him a deadly gaze, and he shut his mouth after it. 

"Let's meet her." He tried to escape from my anger, changing the topic. Dragged me along with him, not waiting for my reply. 

He wandered his eyes on the surrounding after reaching to the garden area. "There she is!" That content filled face on having just a glimpse of her. How much had Raghav fallen for her? Was the thing which amazed me. 

"Cupcake!" He called her out, his eyes shined with happiness. As he would introduce his would-be wife to his dear friend. 

The lady turned herself on, listening to his voice. That fair diamond shape face glowing more because of happiness. Her dark brown color eyes brightened on seeing Raghav. Her black shining straight hairs left open, it was reaching to her elbow. That pouty pink lip had an enormous smile playing on it. She was wearing a baby pink color lehenga, looked like a cute baby in it. She was making her way towards us. With her each step, my heart was raising its pace. 

"This is Siddharth Shukla, my brother." He introduced me to her while gave a side hug to me. "From another mother," winking and chuckling at the end. 

"And meet her Shehnaaz Kaur Gill, my would..." Before Raghav would introduce her,  I interrupted him. 

"Your would-be wife." My eye turned to death but could fake a smile.  

____

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