I LITERALLY THOUGHT NOBODY HAD INTEREST IN THIS STORY AND BEGAN TO SECOND GUESS MY DECISION IN COMING BACK TO WATTPAD BUT THEN I JUST LOGGED ON AND FOUND MUCH MUCH LOVE FROM YOU ALL AND IM DOING WHAT I CAN TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU GUYS

if you're reading this, [its too late] thanks so much for even taking the time. and if you've been waiting for this update and are here now thanks so much for holding on.

love love love !! x

-

[cara]

"It's literally like 11 am, you bum, you need to get up. You are not a bear, and it is not winter, therefore, you cannot be in hibernation."

I grunted into my pillow, shoving my hand under it to find the soothing cool spot below. I peeked one eye open slightly to find that it was indeed morning, hence the few rays of sun shining through the glass of my window. Damn it. "5 more minutes."

"Uh uh, hell no.." Emma clicked her tongue, dragging the covers off of my bottom half and yanking the blinds up, sending endless rays of bright as hell sunlight into my room, making me hiss. This was one of the moments where I felt like slitting a throat open. "Get up, wash yourself, and change. Day 1, Elena Morales."

I rolled my eyes and sat up, running my hands down the length of my face. I'd forgotten all about my agreement to the damn project. "Explain to me why the hell I even have to be up right now- it's Saturday and it's summer."

"Correct, it is Saturday. Also known as the day Calum comes back from tour. Also known as the day where you're supposed to hop into your car and pick him up from the airport, and then go on your little date."

I let my jaw fall open and slack, staring at her blankly. "Date?! I didn't sign up for a date! I signed up for pretending to be Elena until someone grew some balls and went out to actually do something about finding her!"

"Living the life of Elena means to do everything she does, Cara. Including quote, dating Calum, and quote on quote, going on dates with Calum.• Emma sighed, rubbing her temple impatiently.

I blinked furiously. The last time I'd seen Calum, he'd barely even hit puberty and was tripping over his own feet every two minutes. Now, he was a piece of attractive as hell, tanned-skinned, fluffy black hair with blonde highlights famous human being and after 6 months of touring, he probably doesn't even remember Elena had a twin- which is what sucks. I'd say we were really close when we were around 13 until his band started to blow up and lose more and more of his time. I'm assuming he realized that Elena was the better Morales- somehow prettier even though we were twins, had more talented, had more friends- why stick around the stray one?

It was a gut wrenching feeling, to be honest. I don't really know what I have that people find so unattractive; unattractive enough to pay no attention to me whatsoever, because I obviously don't have ebola or herpes or something. I've grown used to walking through the halls of school every day with Elena standing beside me and having tons of people just run up to the Morales in the high heels and peplum blouse (which most certainly wasn't me). A part of me silently wished that there was at least one person there wanting to talk to me and not Elena, but the hope is pretty much dead, lost. It's been sitting within me for years and years and it's been let down every time. I feel pretty bad for it. For myself.

And that isn't even the worst part. I try, I do. I've tried joining sports teams and stuff like yearbook and yoga club, and I'm still neglected, still disregarded and still walk home feeling like the shitty daughter in the family who can although pass her SAT's and physics tests, fails at everything else. I try my hardest and I'm still worth nothing.

My feet were gravitated back towards the ground the minute the volume of Emma barking orders went from 0-100. Real quick.

"Oh my God." I whined, throwing my head back theatrically and falling back down into my sheets. "This isn't how I want to spend my Saturday, in case you haven't noticed!'

"Quit bitching, you agreed to this." She said matter of factly. "If you really don't want to spend your whole Saturday with him, at least spend like 5 hours with the guy so that he doesn't get suspicious, alright? You seriously need to adapt and get a grip, though, Elena's usually with him a lot. Just tell him around 6 that your Mom wants you home for dinner."

I poked my tongue into my cheek, exhaling a puff of air through my nose in defeat before getting up and making my way out of the comfort of my bed. "Wait here, I'll get dressed."

"Atta' girl!"

"Don't push it."

-

"I cannot believe you are making me wear heels to the damn airport." I grumbled, leaning my head onto the steering wheel with my eyes closed, trying to catch up on my [stolen] hours of sleep.

"Wedges-" Emma corrected, turning to point a finger at me, before turning back around to stare at the gates. "we went over this. Elena's memorized every type of shoe there and knows them like her ABC's, catch up."

I scoffed and sat up, leaning back in my chair with my arms folded. "There's no difference between a wedge and a heel, Em, they're both pointy and dangerous and I can kill you with both."

"You're too sweet." She snickered, parking the car into the side lanes before flipping out her compact mirror and bringing her fingers up to her lips to tap on the lipgloss she'd smothered on before we left the house.

"Why is it even important for me to memorize all the different names of heels? Does Calum like to play Barbie dress up when he doesn't have his bass on hand?" I asked, grinning.

"No, but next week when we go to Mali's to fit gowns for her wedding, you're probably gonna wanna let her know which kinds of heels work for you and which don't." She turned to face me yet again, only to give me a brief glance, before turning back to focus on her reflection in the mirror.

"Wedding?!"

Even though Calum and I were basically strangers at this point, his sister, Malikoa, would usually come over with him every now and then for dinner and I'd grown pretty close to his sister. Even if she was a couple years older than me, she understood me. She knew how it felt to have a sibling who was for the most part constantly on center stage, whereas we had to stand behind the curtains and watch. 

The long haired brunette waved me off with one hand, smiling towards the window behind me. "We'll talk about it later, Cara,"

"Wha- No! I wanna talk about it now! Since when the hell was Malikoa getting married?!"

"I told you like two weeks ago, babe.."

"Don't babe me!" I hissed, slapping her on the shoulder a little harder than intended. "This is important!"

"Elena," she turned away from the window to look at me, the corners of her lips flying upwards.

"When did this happen? Have you met the guy? She hasn't told me anything about this! You haven't even told me anything about this! What do you mean you told me two weeks ag-"

"Elena," she grit her teeth, glaring at me. "that wasn't me."

I squinted, clearly confused. "What?"

"That was me, babe.."

I turned my head to the side and groaned internally at my stupidity once I realized Calum had already entered the damn car. I looked back at Emma who was struggling not to burst into hysterical tears of laughter in her seat.

Execute me.

So much information was going down in my mind, I'd missed the sounds of the trunk as well as the door opening and closing, someone sitting down- and ha, I don't know.. the sound of a masculine, definitely not an Emma-kind-of-voice speaking. Amazing. 

"Calum!" I attempted to gasp as convincingly as I could, although it really wasn't that convincing at all considering my voice had jumped up about 4 octaves higher. Might as well call me a wonder pet. "Hey! ..Sweetie!"

His eyebrows furrowed together questioningly, yet he leaned in for the hug anyway, wrapping his arms around me as best as he could manage from sitting in the back seat, kissing my hairline as Emma pulled out of the side lane. "Since when do you call me sweetie?"

"People can change a little in a matter of six months, right?" I gritted through my teeth, smiling as widely as I could manage. I didn't know anything about Calum and Elena's relationship, let's be real. After that point in my life where I started to disconnect from him, I started staying away from him in general out of fear of looking way too clingy. Whenever Elena happened to bring him up, only half of me was listening, the other half escaping to somewhere else within my own mind. It'd only be a matter of time before he figured out something was.. off. 

"I guess," he chuckled, brushing a stray piece of my hair out of my face and behind my ear. "only for the better, though." Blushing and flustered, the feeling foreign, I turned back around in my seat and sank into it. 

Emma cleared her throat, drawing my attention back to her. She'd already been eyeing me, the right corner of her lip tugged up in a sly smug grin. I wanted to strangle her. "So, Cal, your place?"

Calum only hummed in agreement, reaching across the console in the center of the car, locking his fingers with mine. I winced slightly. I was holding hands with Calum. Calum was holding my hand. But.. Calum wasn't my boyfriend. My body temperature suddenly spiked up and I could physically feel my cheeks reddening. The feeling of.. I don't really know what it was, exactly, but it was something. Something good. Something I liked feeling. 

I found myself slightly enjoying this,

..and it was beyond wrong.

-

"..And the concert in Philly was insane, babe, you should've seen the crowd. Actually, I'm pretty sure I sent you a picture." Calum smiled down at his suitcase while unloading piles and piles of dirty clothes and throwing them into his hamper, repeating the process over and over again as he tried to empty out the damn thing.

I'd been leaning back on his headboard, smiling down at him and cocking my head slightly. He'd grown, so, so much. At thirteen years old, he'd blabbed to me about somehow managing to sneak a spot into Green Day and making albums with them and traveling the world with Billy Joe on our daily trips to the record store. And at nineteen, he'd managed to sneak a spot into his own band, go on his own tours, have his own fans, make his own music- it made me wonder what I was doing with my life.

"Babe," 

"Hm?" I blinked myself back into reality, staring at him and forcing a smile to etch onto my face.

"I asked if you saw the picture," He chuckled before zipping his suitcase back up, empty of all its contents, and storing it away into his closet. 

"Uh," I cleared my throat and rubbed the back of my neck, adjusting in my seat on his comforter. "yeah! Of course. Did I not reply?"

He shrugged, striding back towards the bed and scooting up against the headboard next to me. His arm had suddenly snaked its way around my waist, fingertips sketching random shapes into my side. My breath hitched. "It was a while ago, can't really remember. But I do remember this."

I held my breath anxiously, for a moment thinking he'd suddenly lean in and kiss me or lowkey imply he wanted sex or something- but nothing happened. I lowered my eyebrows in question. "Remember what, exactly?"

"Just this." He said, shrugging again and slotting his head in between the crook of my neck and inhaling slowly. Goosebumps arose there seconds after and I prayed that he either didn't notice at all or thought it was just the affect of his really strong air conditioner. "Laying with you. Holding you. Guess I just missed you so much, you know?"

That had me grinning beyond proportion. She was lucky. Elena was lucky to have everything she had; friends, devotion, popularity- but she was beyond lucky to have Calum. She was beyond lucky to have someone who loved her this much. And on instinct, I was pretty happy for my sister. I was happy knowing that this kind of treatment was what she got every day. But I was also pretty jealous knowing that I got none of that. Then again, I don't have anything she has for the most part in general. What else was new?

"I missed you too, Cal." I reluctantly locked my fingers into the straightened strands of his dark brown hair, brushing all the hairs into one direction with my fingertips. I guess showing intimacy was part of getting him to believe that I really was Elena, right? "Don't you wanna do something, though?"

"What do you mean?"

I rose my eyebrows. "This is a date, right? You don't wanna go see a movie or get lunch?" 

I looked down at him only to see him looking up at me questioningly. "We've.. We've been doing stay-in-dates for a while now, though. Do you not like them anymore?"

I cursed to myself. "Right! Of course. Yeah, I mean no! No, I love them! Let's-let's just stay in. That sounds.. that sounds nice. That sounds great, actually."

He opened his mouth as if he were going to say something more, only to shut it once again and snug his face back into my neck. I used the moments of pure silence to physically relax myself, taking deep breaths in and out. My lack of relationships, and human interaction in general, was about to land me in some horrible shit. I didn't know much about Calum and Elena, that was true. But I had to at least pretend to act like I did, because the more screw-ups I made, the closer Calum was to figuring out that I'm wasn't really Elena. And then it would be my fault for letting everyone down.

"Elena!" 

I jumped on instinct, throwing Calum off of my lap by accident and he gasped out of what I assume was shock. "God! I'm sorry, I was dozing off and I just-"

"It's fine, I was just asking about school.. Are you sure you're alright, babe?" He looked genuinely concerned, to be honest- eyebrows creased and all, as he brought the back of his palm up to my forehead, moving it around slightly in search of a temperature. "You're.. acting different."

"I know, I know," I gently took his hand off my forehead, moving it to my lap and placing my hand over it reassuringly. "I'm alright, I'm just.. I'm out of it today. I had to wake up pretty early and I didn't get any coffee inside me before leaving to pick you up. I'm sorry about that.." 

I stared at him anxiously, the fingers of my other hand that wasn't grasping Calum's twitching. Somehow, he didn't look convinced. "El, I know you. You can't lie to me."

"I'm not!"

"Elena, did something happen while I was gone?"

I opened my mouth, ready to deny him just like anyone else in my place would, but stopped. I felt like the shittiest person alive for lying to a boy like Calum. Regardless of the fact that I've only really known and spoken to Calum for a couple of my early teen years, I'd spent enough time around him to know that he truly was a great guy at heart. And it sucked that he was being lied to, and toyed with like this. 

Family had to come first this time, though.

"No." I shook my head, leaning in closer to press my forehead up against his and it took every ounce of self control in me to not piss my shorts. "Nothing, other than me missing your lame ass terribly, happened while you were gone. I promise you."

He kept a straight and blank face for a while, only looking into my eyes as if he were trying to search for a sense of trickery, but found none. Eventually cracked a smile before leaning over towards his bedside table. I looked over to my left to see him toying with his Cruiser turntable before the tune of a Coldplay song quietly erupted in the room. Calum turned back towards me and pushed me down onto the bed, hovering above me. 

My eyes most likely tripled in size as I stared at him in shock. No way. Was he serious? We just got home!

This was moving way too quickly. I hadn't brought any condoms with me! Would he have condoms on him? Of course he would! He's a teenage guy- what kind of teenage guy doesn't have a couple of co-

"Would you fucking relax?" He laughed quietly, leaving a trail of soft butterfly kisses up and down my neck. I sighed in content, obeying him and physically relaxing, un-tensing all the knots in my stomach and exhaling through my nose. "You seem so stressed. Are you positive you're okay?"

I groaned internally. It was then I realized that he didn't just grow more hot. He grew more stubborn, he grew more annoying and he grew a lot more obdurate. I wanted to punch him. In the throat.

"I'm gonna cook your balls if you ask me one more time, Calum Thomas." I snickered, surprising myself once I realized I'd managed to dig up his middle name from somewhere deep within my memory somehow. "It's just the aftermath of school."

"Alright well I think we both need a cuddle-nap right now, yeah? I'm exhausted. Didn't get much sleep on the plane, to be honest." He shifted both of our positions on the bed, so that he was laying down on his side, spooning me. He planted one last kiss to the side of my neck, before placing his chin ontop of my head and I forced myself to hold my whimper in. I'd never been held like this, ever. 

"El, relax. It's just me." He whispered, running his hand up and down my upper arm slowly until he felt the muscle loosen. "Just close your eyes." 

I exhaled loudly and nodded, obeying his words. It was just Calum. Just Calum. The guy who'd been coming over for family dinners every week, your former tween friend who bought you as many vinyls as you wanted, your sister's boyfriend. Your sister's boyfriend. Not yours, Cara.

I quickly diminished the thoughts before I had the chance to physically tense up again, and before I knew it, I was beginning to fall deeper and deeper into a black, starry abyss of sleep. 

"Hey," he whispered again.

I hummed dismissively. "Hm?"

"I love you." 

My eyes flew open the same time my heart shook in my chest. In that moment, I knew that what I'd gotten myself into wasn't good. I knew it was wrong, beyond wrong. But I had set my boundaries. This was not my boyfriend. This boy, who had his arms wrapped around me and his chin on my head with his hand over mine was not my boyfriend. Calum was not my boyfriend. I was doing this for Elena- for Mom and Dad. Not for me. Now was not the time to be selfish. I had to prove to them that I was capable of doing this. So although I obviously had to stay close to him, I knew I also had to stay away. 

But in that exact moment in time, with my eyes slowly beginning to droop back down and my breathing finally beginning to even out, my mind hazy and blurry and unfocused, I couldn't help but mutter back a coherent enough, "I love you too."

-

THIS CHAPTER IS SO BORING KILL ME

IT DOES GET BETTER I SWEAR IT I FEEL REALLY HORRIBLE BC IM JUST NOW UPDATING AND THIS CHAPTER KIND OF SUCKS BUT ITS RLY JUST SUPPOSED TO BE A FILLER CHAPTER WHERE YOU KIND OF GET TO MEET CALUM AND SEE THE FIRST FEW STAGES OF THE REPLACEMENT PROJECT.

but guys i really do feel awful about just updating now so i will try to start and possibly (dont count on it omf) update again tomorrow but for now im heading off bc its already 1 and ive been writing since around 11.

i love you guys very very much and if you've decided to continue to stick with this and have actually read this chapter and are still planning on continuing to read thank you so much oml.

i promise im going to try and improve my updating schedule !!

xx, 

b.