39. Unsaid Confessions

By leaving his phone behind, Chase thought he could escape the excruciating reminder of what he was doing to Krislynn, but he was quickly reminded that God had never liked him all that much as he came into a clearing inside the park. Tall lamp posts decorated the sides of the walking path like flickering stars in the night sky, and everywhere – everywhere – he looked, there was a couple on a date, a couple holding hands, or a couple walking their dog perhaps after a homemade dinner over a perfect conversation.

The whole scene disgusted him, and he couldn’t have felt more out of place with the disarray that was his clothes and his face. His gaze shifted over to LaCienega who was only a step in front of him and watched in fascination as she turned around – how the light seemed to reflect off of her eyes, how her hair fanned out as she spun around, each strand shimmering as if it were made out of glitter. “Chase?”

He looked at her blankly, caught off guard for a moment before his eyes focused. “Yeah?”

“Let’s sit over there.” Her hand extended and pointed towards a fountain of three dolphins in the center of the park. Water sprayed upward from tiny jets on the inner edge of the fountain and the droplets of liquid cascaded down like a show of falling comets – nothing more but specks of silver sequins. “It’s pretty there.”

Chase nodded briefly and followed her to the fountain before he took a seat on the surrounding concrete edge. LaCienega made herself comfortable and inhaled a lungful of fresh air before smiling happily to herself. She spoke of random things Chase could have cared less about, asked him things about his work, how his upcoming movie was coming along, and Chase answered robotically – not sparing a brain cell in the process.

It wasn’t so much that he found the things she talked about uninteresting – though he did – but rather because he enjoyed watching her talk more than he enjoyed listening to her. When she spoke of things she didn’t like, her lips would press together, and when she spoke of things that she liked, her eyes would light up – though she smiled uncontrollably only when she spoke of Jace.

Her expressions were of course, nowhere as animated as Krislynn’s, but there was a sort of refined beauty in LaCienega that propelled Chase to tangle himself up in awe. She was like a valuable painting in an art gallery surrounded by red ropes and ‘do not touch’ signs. He adored the painting, yes, but even more than that, he just really wanted it in his own private gallery.

When LaCienega briefly mentioned her irritation with the socialite Jace was currently working for, Chase took the chance to fulfil his own curiosity of their relationship. “How did you guys meet anyways?” He raised one eyebrow at her inquisitively. “Jace went to Harvard right? And as far as I know, didn’t you go to Columbia?”  

“We met each other a lot earlier than that.” LaCienega smiled shyly at the memory. “I think I was eleven. Yes, eleven, so Jace must have been thirteen back then.”

Chase frowned. “Then how come I never met you?” He suddenly asked.

“Because we only saw each other at business parties,” she replied. “Remember? My father owns a law firm and Jace’s father–”

“Is a lawyer.” Chase finished her sentence with a slight nod. “No wonder I never saw you around. Your dad was Mr. Waite’s boss.”

She nodded before she continued. “As you know, I wasn’t born here, and neither was I raised – at least not my early childhood – but my father is half American. When he decided to move back to America, he brought me and my mother along, and of course, he secured a job by taking partnership at a law firm that was started up by an old friend of his. Every now and then, they would host a dinner party and the employees would all try to bring a date, or their girlfriends, wives or children. It was a very showy type of event – filled with tense smiles and fake laughter.”

“Back then of course, I did not look like this.” She turned and eyed Chase with such disdain that he was slightly taken back by the expression. “I was fat. And I was ugly.” A dry laugh came out of her as she breathed out a long sigh. “And I remember precisely how my mother forced me into this turquoise princess dress with frills and ribbons and lace, but it was a size too small and couldn’t be zipped up all the way in the back. Rather than looking anything like a princess that night – that first dinner party – I looked like an elephant in a blue tutu.”

Chase couldn’t take his eyes off of her. She was sharing some deep emotions with him, and yet, he couldn’t seem to picture her as anything else than what she was right now – how she looked right now.

Her words drew blood out of her soul as she spoke. “That night, I looked fat, I looked ugly, and even more than that I talked funny. I had a weird accent. My English wasn’t good and people couldn’t understand me clearly. All the other kids would gather among themselves, giggling and whispering secrets about me right in front of me, asking each other questions, spreading rumours, yet none of them wanted to actually talk to me – to get to know me.”

“Besides Jace.” The words came out of Chase’s lips before he knew it, and LaCienega turned to him and smiled, her eyes staring intensely in his direction – though he knew by that glitzy gaze that she wasn’t looking at him, but at a shard of a past memory.

“Yes,” she said softly. “Besides Jace.”

He was her Prince Charming, Chase realized, and yet, even as the thought struck, he was determined to prove Jace wasn’t. Or perhaps Jace was. Perhaps he was her Prince Charming, but Chase’s million dollar question was, is she his princess?

Chase didn’t know how long they sat there and talked for, but when LaCienega suddenly shivered, his perception of reality suddenly came back to him. “Are you cold?” He stood up from sitting down for so long and stretched his arms overhead. “We should go back in the car. It’s getting chilly out now that it’s late.”

LaCienega hastily agreed, and once back in the car, Chase turned on a bit of heat before glancing at his phone. More messages. More missed calls. He didn’t even look at his texts, just opened a new one directed to Krislynn.

“I feel slightly famished,” LaCienega murmured quietly beside him. “I haven’t eaten anything since early afternoon. Are you hungry by any chance?”

“I’m starving.”

Her lips curved slightly upwards. “If I remember the directions correctly, there should be a–”

“And I’ve also got a huge headache.” Chase turned to watch her expression fade as he interrupted her. “There’re dried bits of blood on my face, spilled alcohol all over my shirt, and it’s getting late.” He paused and looked down at his text message, ‘I’ll be back soon’ before pressing send. “That’s why I’m taking you home.”

LaCienega’s lips pressed into a thin line, but she nodded politely before looking out her side of the window. In a way, she was like a perfect trophy house wife. LaCienega was beautiful, graceful, and educated – yet she, like all trophy house wives, was without a job and on top of that, without kids to busy her time with. Chase figured she could only spend her time shopping for so long, and though he knew she was restless with boredom, he couldn’t spare her any more time than he already had.

Quickly starting the ignition, Chase turned the car in the direction of Jace’s house before driving off. The both of them remained quiet the entire drive, and though it had unfortunately become solemn with awkwardness, Chase managed to bring her home in twelve minutes time.

“Well I really appreciate you bringing me home.” LaCienega smiled at him as he parked along the road perpendicular to her driveway. “I know you probably had plans for the night and you still stayed with me. Thank you.”

He shrugged coolly. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Did you have plans with her?” She suddenly asked. “That girl you brought to Santa Monica?” She waited until Chase gave a slight nod before narrowing her eyes inquisitively. “Even though you told everybody she was, she’s not actually your girlfriend is she?”

Chase was slightly taken back by her comment, but then reflected on her natural intellection. “No, she’s not.”

LaCienega nodded in comprehension before opening the car door and stepping out into the night air. “But girlfriend or not, she must mean something to you, am I right?”

Chase called on her before she closed the door. “Wait!” His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Why would you say that?”

He watched her eyebrows lift in amusement and then settle back in their place. For a moment, she stared at him curiously, as if analyzing him, and then debating how to answer before finally settling on a response. “Just a thought,” she said with a casual shrug. “And also, in the case of her being your girlfriend or not, I don’t know if the others know, but in front of Jace, I would like that girl to keep that status.”

At that moment, there were a million things Chase wanted to say to her – like how if she had to hide another girl’s single status to her fiancé, then she really didn’t trust him all that much – but he refrained. He needed to go for one thing, and for another, he didn’t want to cause another uproar with her like he did last weekend – especially not after he seemed to have gotten back on her good side after that fight in the bar. “Alright,” he told her.

LaCienega smiled at him, her hand clutching the side of the door. “You know I keep trying to tell myself you’re a bad man,” she told him bluntly.

Chase smirked at her honesty. “Does it work?” He asked.

“Sometimes,” she admitted. “But more often it doesn’t.”

Chase watched her walk up her driveway after she closed the door, and once he witnessed her going inside the safety of her own house, he put his car in reverse before starting his drive home. He felt an intricate mix of emotions during the ride, excitement from his time with LaCienega, yet also anxiousness from the impending doom that was waiting for him at home.

At twenty past nine, Chase walked through the front door and immediately found Krislynn sitting on the couch, her phone in hand. She stood promptly when she heard him shut the door and gazed at him in bewilderment as her eyes ran down his body. “What happened to you?” She squealed, jogging up to him, her face wrinkled with concern as her fingers grazed just below where he was punched in the eye.

Chase tilted his head to the side so he could get a good look at her behind. Dressed in a tight fitting, baby blue, cocktail dress, Chase could almost imagine what it’d feel like to have his hands resting on her bum, but held back from coping a feel as he dragged his eyes back to her face.

The guiltiness that he had managed to forget during the last little while came back to haunt him as he met her eyes. She looked beautiful tonight. Hair done, makeup done, there was not a doubt in the world that she would have looked amazing on his arm this evening, and yet, that wasn’t going to happen.

“You look interesting,” he murmured. “Did Michelle come over and lend you that outfit?”

Krislynn nibbled on her lips nervously as she tugged down the end of her dress, as if she was somehow embarrassed by its short length. “How did you know?”

“Looks like its Michelle’s dress,” he pointed out. “You don’t exactly have enough boobs to fill out the front of it.”

“Well I’m pretty darn positive I look a hundred times better than you right now!” She snapped, and then as if the thought crossed her mind again, her face morphed back into that of worry and concern – exactly what he didn’t want. “What happened to you anyways? Did you get into a fight? I texted and phoned you over and over...”

Chase realized then that he could lie. Krislynn wasn’t mad at him – at least not yet – and he figured it was because of how devastating he must look to her right now. She was waiting for an answer, a good excuse as to why he was over two hours late. He could easily make something up – tell her he rescued an old lady from a band of thieves that wanted to take her purse just as she was walking out of the bank. He could tell her how someone called the cops and because they arrived on the scene just as he was finish beating up the last thief, they had to take him down to the police station for questions.

Krislynn would forgive him, he realized. She’d probably throw a billion kisses and bless him with sweet nothings about how brave and chivalrous he was for helping an old lady. A handicapped old lady, he decided.

“How did you get like that?” She pressed, voice still gently and sincere.

Chase stared her in the eyes and felt his jaw tensed as his lips parted ever so slowly. “I got in a fight at the pub with this grungy looking guy,” he told her. “Over LaCienega.” He watched her eyes widened in confusion and went further to explain what happened. “He was hitting on her – more than just hitting on her – and I was coincidentally across the bar so I went over there and punched him.” Chase shrugged. “And then he punched back.”

Krislynn took a step back. Her face lowered as mixed feelings displayed through her expression. She took another step back when she looked up again, eyebrows wrinkled in confusion. “And then what happened?” She calmly, but very forcefully asked. “What happened after that?”

“Then we ran out of the bar.” He offered her another shrug. “Before the cops could show up.”

“But you were for the most part okay,” she stated.

“For the most part.”

“And LaCienega was okay.” Chase pressed his lips together before nodding, and Krislynn’s eyes instantly grew weary of his presence. “So then what did you do for the last two and a half hours?”

“Look, I know I suck,” he grumbled, “but LaCienega didn’t want to go home so I...” His gaze lowered. “I sort of stayed with her. But nothing happened,” he quickly reassured. “We just drove around town and then talked in the park. I didn’t even touch her.”

Krislynn laughed, though it was resentful and bitter. “Well I’m happy nothing happened,” she yelled. “I’m happy nothing happened while you’ve been ignoring my calls and I’ve been sitting here with the news on hoping I don’t see your car on T.V next to a bloody body!”

Her hand flew up, and for a second Chase thought she was going to slap him before her hand quickly landed on the diamond necklace she was wearing – the one that he had brought for her – and ripped it off her neck. The white gold chain snapped and lashed against her skin as she tore it off, and instantly, a long red line grew on her delicate ivory skin as she threw the necklace against the nearest wall.

Chase inwardly groaned as he realized what she did was worse than a slap across the face. After all, he had brought that for her as an apology – one that asked for forgiveness – and the symbolism in her throwing it away was much too great. “Krislynn,” he murmured, though he knew it was too late, and she was already walking away as she ripped the barrettes and bobbin pins out of her hair. “I’m sorry. I know I suck, but–”

“You know you keep saying that,” she screamed, “but I don’t think you actually realize how much you suck!” She turned around, her cheeks red with anger. “You suck Chase! You fucking, fucking, fucking suck!”

“I know! And I’ll make it up to you,” he shouted. “I don’t even know why you’re so mad!”

“I’m not mad,” she screamed. “I’m mortified! I can’t believe that I was actually excited for tonight! That I was actually excited to go out with you! That I actually asked Michelle to come all the way over and help me do my makeup! Help me do me hair! Help me find a dress! I’m embarrassed that I actually thought the only reason you were late was because something happened to you on the way home, and not because you ran off to spend time with another girl! I’ve never felt so fucking stupid!!”

Chase was at a loss for words. “Well if it means so much to you, then we’ll go out now,” he shouted. “Just give me twenty minutes to take a shower and change. We don’t have to go anywhere flashy. I could take you to the planetarium. We could count stars–”

“I don’t want to go!” She stared him straight in the eyes. “And I don’t ever want to go anywhere or do anything with you!”

Chase watched her turn around and walked toward the stairs and felt his own shoulders slump in dejection. “You obviously want to go,” he retaliated, “if you’re making such a big deal out of this.”

“Chase! You were the one who asked me on a date,” she shouted. “I’m making such a big deal about this because you were the one who begged me until I agreed to date you, and right now, you were the one that made me wait almost three fucking hours for you while you were kissing up to LaCienega!!”

“You’re making it sound like I set this whole fucking thing up to blow you off,” he yelled. “I didn’t do that Krislynn, but what did you expect me to do?! That guy was harassing her and what I am supposed to do – just pretend like I don’t know her?!”

Krislynn stopped in the middle of the stairs before she spun around. “I’m not upset over that,” she snapped. “I think it was the proper thing to do, but what did you do after Chase? What did you do after you helped her, after you beat that guy up, after you guys ran out of the bar? At that point, there were a million things you could have done – you didn’t do one of them!”

“You don’t get it,” he grumbled. “Let me explain more.”

“You don’t need to explain anything,” she shouted. “You chose her. I get it. Your actions have already explained more than enough.”

Chase watched her make her way up the entire staircase before he ran after her. “Yeah! So what? I chose her!” He screamed. His hand gripped onto Krislynn’s wrist as he spun her around. “What’s wrong with me doing that? Don’t forget that I like her! It’s only natural I’d choose her right?! Tell me why you’re so upset over that!”

Krislynn’s eyes shifted nervously as she tried to pry his hands away from her. “Let me go,” she hissed.

“No!”

“Let me go!”

“Tell me why!” He shouted. “Tell me why you’re so pissed off I chose her over you!” Krislynn pried his hand from her, but he only grabbed her waist as she pulled away and drew her body into his. “Why?” He murmured. Chase’s head lowered so that his forehead just hovered above hers, and yet, Krislynn couldn’t seem to meet his eyes. “Did you... start to have feelings for me?”