It was one of those days where it seemed like a good idea to just stay at home. And so I did. I continued to read Hayley's green journal, her life being more interesting than the life I could be living outside. I had no reason to be outside, unless Hayley was dragging me to another party. But she wasn't. She wouldn't be able to do that until I meet her again, wherever she is now. I just hoped she was happy there.

I turned to the next page, finding the letters messy, almost illegible. I managed to read the words, knowing this must have been something horrid in Hayley's life.

Dear Taylor,

I'm scared. I don't know why, but I'm scared. At this very moment, I'm crying my eyes out as I listen to the rest of my 'family' scream at each other through my closed door. My mom, my dad, and my sisters. All of them are fighting. I can't breathe, I'm shaking, and I'm bleeding. Emotionally and physically. Yes, Taylor. I cut again. Deeper than ever. I feel like my family is falling apart. And I don't want that. So, I'm running off somewhere. I'm not sure where, but I'll find out. I'll be a lost soul. But I'll make my own road, so don't you worry about me, Taylor York. Don't you worry...

I heard the front door slam. I jumped up as I slammed the book closed. I stared at my door, waiting to hear something that would give me a hint of who would walk into my house. Keys were dropped on the coffee table.

"Hayley?" I managed to rasp, my voice unable to ever say her name since her death.

"Taylor, we need to talk!" I heard Veronica nag. I heaved a sigh. Of course it was her; it couldn't be Hayley. She was gone. I heaved a sigh as I forced myself up and walked into the living room, finding an angered Veronica there. I couldn't tell if she was angry or not, anymore. I assumed her face just formed into that emotion, permanently.

"What," I spat, annoyance dripping from the word.

"I'm thinking about dying my hair tomorrow. I was considering black--" I didn't care. I turned back and started to go to my room. "Hey! Taylor, I am talking to you!"

"What do you want, Veronica?!" I yelled as I turned back to her. "What do you want from me?!"

"Damn it, Taylor! I just need you to actually pay attention for once!"

"When I do pay attention, there's nothing important! Maybe if you said you wanted to actually work things out, I'd pay attention!"

"The thing is, you are the wrong one!"

"I'm always the wrong one! I'm sorry, did your best friend die from a fucking overdose?!"

"It was two months ago! Get over it!"

"How dare you tell me to get over it! It's not that easy!"

"Just forget about her!"

"God, Veronica, you don't freaking get it! You never will!"

"Maybe I would if you would stop whining!"

"I'm whining?! Please," I scoffed. "I'm done! Get out of my house! And leave the damn key while you're at it!"

"No, I'm not leaving! I'm going to get my point out, clear!"

"Get out of my house!" I demanded as I walked away, heading towards my room.

"No, Taylor! You're going to talk to me!"

"Shut up, Veronica," I growled.

"No, talk--"

"Shut up!"

"Taylor, talk to m--"

"Hayley, I said shut up!" I yelled as I turned to Veronica. Her face was a picture of confusion, then an unknown emotion. Right then, I caught myself. I pursed my lips as I sighed, feeling tears starting to prick at my eyes again.

"Hayley?" Veronica questioned, her voice now calm. "Was that H's name?"

"Veronica, leave," I said, my voice low.

"H is Hayley, isn't she?"

"Please, just leave."

"Taylor, why didn't you just--"

"Leave. Now." I toned as Veronica got closer. She ignored my pleas. Veronica rested a hand on my arm, sympathy in her eyes. "Don't touch me," I snarled. Veronica pulled aback, quickly.

"I-I'm sorry, Taylor. I-I'll go." And with that, Veronica did as she said, leaving her key on the coffee table.

I walked into the kitchen and got a glass from the cabinet. I opened a bottle of whiskey and poured it in the cup. I needed to forget about all that had happened. Most of all, I wanted to drown out the pain of Hayley's death. Though it was two months ago, it still hurt like it happened yesterday. It felt like yesterday.

After a while, I knew I was a little intoxicated from the whiskey I had drank, the bottle being half empty, almost. I stumbled into my room and found Hayley's journal still on my bed. I opened it and continued reading the entry that had a second part to it, separated by three stars she drew herself.

I ran away. But I came back, drunk. Had a few drinks, decided to go home. Everyone was asleep when I got home. It was past three in the morning. So, I went into my room, door closed... and cried some more. I cut more, then I wanted to be gone. You know what I mean. But I didn't. I looked at the pills that were in my hand, feeling almost stupid for not taking them. But I don't regret it. I didn't do it because you, Taylor, popped up in my mind. So... I flushed the pills. And I went to bed. Maybe next time.

I closed the book and reached in my pocket to grab my phone. I scrolled through my contacts, reaching Hayley's number. Then I remembered, I couldn't call her. She was gone. That 'next time' came too soon. That 'next time' happened.