one year, eight months, twenty-three days later

It still hurts after all this time. I hate myself for every minute that I have to keep lying, but I can't do anything about it even now. Which is what brings me here, practically begging Dad to let me tell Peter.

"Dad, please, I've been lying to him for almost two years now. He's been my partner for over a year and a half. Don't you think he's earned enough trust and the right to know?" I ask him with a stern expression. "I don't think I can keep doing this without being honest with him."

"We've talked about all this before, bug. It's not safe with everything going on." He sighs and rubs his temples. "I promise, when it's safe, you can tell him."

"And when will it ever be safe? Because I've learned, there's always going to be another threat, whether it be a terrorists or villains or reporters. There will never be a 'perfect time'—for anything. So forgive me if I have trouble believing that." I cry, "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go get ready for training with Peter."

"Lia—" Dad calls, but apparently decides against following me, which I'm thankful for. Mostly because it means he can't see me wiping away the tears of frustration.

I try not to slam my door and become a cliche teenage girl. It's just hard to understand why Dad won't let me tell Peter the truth. He's known him for almost two years now—trusted him with so much for that long. So why won't he let me tell him at least part of my big secret.

"Peter sent you a message saying he's on his way." ARTI tells me, and I let out a huff.

I don't have much time to get changed. So I quickly slip on my training clothes and mask. It's all I really need since the mask keeps my face and voice disguised.

Although, a part of me wants to meet him without anything another than my glasses and claim it was an accident. I doubt Dad would believe it though, and more importantly, it's not how I want to tell Peter or have him find out.

So, I adjust my mask and head into the training room. "ARTI, turn on the training playlist and crank it up." My hips start to move to the beat as I wrap my hands in tape. "Oh, ARTI, be sure to tell Parker to hurry up. He's already late."

"He's speaking with Mr. Stark at the moment." ARTI echoes back, and all the frustration from earlier returns to the surface. Because as much as Dad tries to argue, it's a different story for him.

I turn to the bag and aim a series of punches and kicks. Each one makes the anger burn hotter and closer to the surface. It keeps me going long past the time my knuckles start to ache and tears of frustration begin to fall.

"Woah. What did that bag ever do to you?" Peter shouts as he turns off the music, and my head snaps in his direction. He seems to notice my lack of cheerful greeting judging by the look on his face. "You okay?"

"Fine. Just frustrated." I say and brush a fallen piece of hair from my face. "Did you bring your suit?"

"I always do." He says and pulls it out of his backpack. "Why?"

"Put it on. I'll explain on the way." Peter stutters before reluctantly following my directions to the locker room. I spin my watch's face to the last known location of my source and sigh. It's been over thirty six hours since it went dark, and as much as I want it to be nothing more than a technical malfunction, chances are it's not.

Of course, it's been making a bit more on edge recently, and I may or may not have taken it out on Dad a bit today. His responses about telling Peter and excuses of the "dangers" made me realize I can't tell him what I'm about to do. So, I make sure he's not around to see us ditching training as I slip back into my room and put on the suit.

Peter is already waiting for me in his when I leave back into the hallway. His fingers keep twisting the mask in his hands as he follows me out to the balcony. "Mind swinging us to the usual spot?" I question as I hop over the railing, but Peter hesitates. "I'll explain when we get there."

"O-okay." He stutters and joins me on the other side of the railing. "Hold on tight."

"Don't worry. I know the drill, hot stuff." I reply and hold on tightly to his neck. The words make Peter blush as he slips on the mask and wraps an arm around my waist. I only hope he can't hear or feel my heart pounding at the lack of space between us, or at the very least, I hope he'll just assume it's adrenaline kicking in as we jump off the balcony and swing away.

After a few minutes of swinging, we finally touch down on the roof of our usual meeting spot for patrols. My arms linger around Peter's neck as we quietly face each other, watching and waiting for something neither of us know in the yellow glow of the street lights. For a second, I almost forget that I'm Phantom, who is really just me lying to my best friend and crush, and that he's every going to be anything more than that—my crush.

Somewhere in the distance, a horn honks, and I'm suddenly brought back to reality. I take a step back from him. "ARTI, run the whisper program on both suits." I wait a moment for it to do its job and flood both AI with enough static that no programs can be run before looking up at Peter again. "Check for a second if Karen's online."

"Um, Karen?" He questions with what I'm sure is a strange look towards me underneath the mask. "She's—she's not answering."

"Good. Now, you have to promise me, as my partner and my friend, that what I'm about to say stays between us. No matter what happens, you can't tell even Tony."

"Why? Is what we're doing that bad?"

"Yes and no." I tell him and pause to think how to phrase it. "Trust me, you won't get in trouble for this. It's just—I need to follow this lead, but Tony basically forbade me from pursuing it. Something about it being 'too dangerous.'"

"What makes it so dangerous? Or so important that you're disobeying Mr. Stark?"

I sigh and sit down on the roof's ledge. "You remember how we kept hitting those dead ends on the REM Trials? And we both agreed that whoever is backing it is—obviously—smart and extremely well funded to keep it all under wraps."

"Yeah, but we couldn't find anything that would point us in the right direction."

"That's not entirely true." I say and stare down at my fidgeting hands. "When I became aware of the trials and my potential past with them, there was a few possible connections. I didn't pursue them since there was no way to narrow down the list, but now, I had a source approach me saying one of the companies on my suspect list has been running some concerning experiments that they're trying to keep under wraps."

"So you want to investigate?"

"I want answers. I need them." I lower my hood to nervously fix my hair. "People have started to go missing—some of them turning up dead or worse, I still don't know what they're end goal is, or what my history is with them. These trials—these people have taken so much. I can't let them continue."

"Okay." Peter says as he stands to his feet and offers me a hand. "Let's go."

"Just like that, huh?" I tease as I let him help me to my feet. "I would have thought after everything it would take more convincing to get you to go against Tony's orders—again."

"Under most circumstances, yeah. I just—trust you, I guess." He shrugs and avoids looking at me. "Plus, it might be nothing."

"If it's not, I give you full permission to blame me in front of Tony." I tell him as I click ARTI's whisper program off. "C'mon, it's not too far from here. Karen should have directions up and running for you."

Peter doesn't even ask or hesitate before wrapping his arm around my waist, and I instinctively wrap mine around his neck. It's weird how normal this feels. If I didn't know better, I'd almost be able to convince myself that we've been doing this for most of our lives instead of a little under two years. Maybe it's just because of my feelings for Peter that don't seem to fade no matter how hard I try to ignore them.

I brush the thought aside as Peter sets us down across the street from what used to be Stark Tower. Now, it looms among the other buildings with the company name that makes me nauseous. "OSCORPS? That's who you think could be behind it?"

"Yeah, I do." I whisper back, leaving out the fact that this also happens to be where my step-dad works. "I need you to stay here to keep watch and—um—be ready to get us out of here if something goes wrong."

"Wait, what do you mean?" He looks between me and the building, "Are—are you breaking in?"

"Is it technically breaking in if I bypass the security system by phasing inside?" I question, and Peter just shakes his head at me. "Okay, fine. Yes, I'm technically breaking in, but they'll never know. Trust me, I spent countless hours in there before they bought it from Tony. It won't be hard for me to tap into the security system and feeds. I'll be in and out before you can say 'Phantom is the greatest Avenger and partner.'"

Peter goes to say something, but he drops it when I give him a teasing salute before crossing the street as barely more than a shadow. I stop just outside the panels on the side of the building. It pops open with ease revealing a mess of power lines and wires and clip on a piece of my own tech. "The Trojan horse is attached and should be accepted in their system. ARTI, pull up the schematics for the building. I need to find the wall either close to or in the stairwell. Also run the shadow programing on the surveillance feeds."

"Here you are, Lia." There's a pause as ARTI hesitates, "Although, I don't think this is ideal. Mr. Stark wouldn't be happy if he knew—"

"Come on, ARTI. When have we ever followed rules? And what Dad doesn't know won't get me into trouble." I tell the AI with a ridiculous grin. It only falters for a second as I look over the schematics and calculated route ARTI pulls up on my lenses. "Well, this is gonna be interesting."

I tap my comm twice to connect with Peter across the street. "All right, I'm going in. Stay out of sight and wait for my signal. I'll leave the channel open."

"Okay. Promise me something?" Peter calls, already sounding worried. "Just—be careful."

"Aren't I always? It'll all be fine, I promise." I take one last deep breath before phasing through the thick wall, which is a strange sensation in the temperature change alone. "I'm in. The servers are on the fifth floor, which is where they would store any data that has or needs to be processed for their experiments. I'm also gonna look at their hard copy files in case they're being as cautious as I think."

"That whole level looks dark, so you should be fine." Peter says over the comms. "ARTI patched me into the surveillance feeds, so I'll let you know if anyone is coming."

"Aw, you really do care about me." I tease as I make my way up to the fifth of many floors. My legs shake with nerves with every step closer to the fifth floor. I can't help but wish I could just turn around and leave, but I can't.

Something deep in my chest tells me things don't line up here. It's the same feeling I've gotten before, except last time, I didn't act on it, didn't speak up, and people got hurt. I refuse to make the same mistake.

Silence radiates from the other side of the door to the fifth floor, and the only thing I can sense is the energy pulsing through the servers. I pull the chip out of my pocket and quickly slip out into the hallway and to the large glass doors that section of the rows of server towers from outside access. "Okay, ARTI. Get ready to hack into this thing." I whisper as I connect the chip to the keypad panel.

"My program is running the combinations." He quips. The door pops open a few seconds later. "You have approximately ten minutes before security returns."

"Plenty of time. I just have to put the chip into the server and leave, right?"

"I'm afraid not. This room has a signal-blocker. You'll have to download it directly to my systems."

"Gosh, I bloody hate this place," I whisper as I slip behind a tower of servers and search for a port to connect ARTI into the system. "Alright, here we go. Get everything you can next few minutes. Look for anything with the target keywords, unnamed projects, anything that requires a clearance level or has encryption. We'll just have to manage with that for now because I still need to check the paper files."

It's unsettling in the quiet. Peter is probably freaking out since the comms cut off. I swear I can feel his anxiety second hand and can't stop tapping my foot as the data transfers. Each minute feels like it's dragging by with the same excruciating pain as nails on a chalkboard. "Two minutes until security returns. Data transfer finishes in sixty seconds."

Great, I think to myself, sixty seconds to get into the stairwell without being spotted.

I feel my heart pounding in my chest as the transfer finishes and the chip ejects. "Let Peter know the second we get out, we're gonna need to move fast." I tell ARTI as I slip out into the hallway and move as quickly as I can to the stairwell.

Except, something tells me to check over my shoulder before I can even make it halfway. My heart nearly stops in my chest when I see a flashlight reflecting from around the corner.

"Phantom? Phantom, are you okay?" Peter shouts in my ear.

"Get ready to run." I whisper just as the guard spots me.

"Hey! Stop right there." He shouts and pulls something off his hip.

There's a click that echoes through the hallway, and I squeeze my eyes shut. I've done enough training with Nat to know that sound. It's the safety clicking off of his gun. My hands raised over my head in 'surrender,' but the guard has no idea that a wall of shadow is rising between us until it's too late.

A shot goes off. It makes my ears ring as I make a run for the stairwell. My lungs burn and sides ache from the heavy breathing and strain as I slip down the banister for the multiple floors.

I don't hesitate as I slam the stairwell door open and stumble out the emergency doors that with the pounding steps. The shouts of security guards and screeching of emergency alarms follow me as I meet a waiting Spiderman, who luckily stayed where I left him.

He thinks quickly and launches us up to a rooftop, which leaves the guards confused as to where I disappeared to. "We—we need to get farther away." I tell him and he nods in understanding as he peers down in the alley to make sure the guards are still there before moving to the opposite corner of the roof and swinging us away.

It's only when we land that the pain hits.

Everything around me feels fuzzy compared to it. Peter starts pacing back and forth in panic of everything that happened, but I can barely focus on him as I lean against a wall and let myself slide down to the ground. "Don't freak out, but I think I got shot."

"Wh—what?" Peter's voice catches, and I hate myself for putting him in this situation—especially knowing his past. "Oh my god. I—I gotta call Mr. Stark."

"Don't." I shout through gritted teeth. "I'll be fine."

"No, you won't be. This isn't a black eye, Phantom. You're shot."

"I know that, but if you call Tony, he'll never forgive me." I retort. "I'll heal. I just—gah—I need to get the bullet out without blowing up."

"Blow up?! Like in Germany?" Peter screeches as he unconsciously stumbles back. He's quiet for a moment as he notices the light slowly pouring from between my fingers with my blood. It's only then that realization seems to dawn on him. "That's not something you did on purpose. You don't have control of it. Do you?"

"No, which is why I need your help, and if it gets too close, you have to promise me you'll swing as far away as you can."

Peter takes a deep breath, avoiding the promise as he kneels down beside me and puts his hand over mine to create pressure. "Tell me what you need me to do."

"Distract me from the pain." I have to force myself to keep breathing and not go into shock, which would trigger the Supernova building. "Help keep me grounded. Why don't you—you tell me about your personal life?"

"Um—I—okay." He stutters and holds my free hand tightly as the other hovers over the wound and manipulates the shadows to dislodge the bullet. "You know pretty much everything."

"Tell me about friends, school, crushes. Literally anything will do right now, hot stuff." I tell him, but of course, I immediately regret suggesting crushes. The last thing I want to hear is the guy I'm in love with gush about someone else.

Unfortunately, that's exactly what he starts doing. "Okay, yeah. There's—um—there's this one girl. She's really funny and cute and smart. We go to the same school and are both on the decathlon team. I—ugh—I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm lame, but—"

His words fade away for a second, hidden under the haze of pain from the bullet inching closer back to my skin and the heartbreak of knowing he's not talking about me. It's the last thing I needed to know, and I wish he had thought to talk about literally anything else.

I want to scream at him to stop talking about MJ, but the sound of his voice and his hand in mine are the only things keeping me together and from a Supernova. So, I grit my teeth and squeeze his hand tighter as the compacted piece of metal scrapes the bottom of my ribs before landing in my hand.

"You know," I whisper through still labored breathing, "if I can take a bullet out of myself, you should be able to tell this girl you like her. Sometimes, you've gotta take a chance and see what happens."

"But—what if she doesn't like me back?"

"Then it's her loss, and she's not worth it in the first place." I shrug and try to ignore the pain in my chest that seems to be even worse than the healing bullet wound.

"What about you? Do you have anyone you're dating? Or someone you like?" He asks, still holding my hand.

"Um, there's this one guy I like, which I didn't think would happen considering my history. I just—I'm pretty sure he doesn't see me the same way though. We've been friends for a while, and I doubt he'll ever see me as more." I lean my head back against the concrete and relishing the way I'm starting to go numb. "I wish he would though. He's the sweetest, smartest, and honestly the most amazing guy I've ever known. Even on my bad days, he's the one person who can always make me smile or feel better."

"Have you ever thought about telling him?"

"Countless times." I reply and shake my head, "Then I think about how awkward it would be if he didn't feel the same way or see him looking at someone else, and I decide not to. Because I'd rather keep him as a friend than risk losing him."

"I'd offer to talk to him, but I wouldn't know what to say since I don't know you're name, which I don't think Mr. Stark would take as a good enough reason for you to tell me." We both laugh at that as he leans against the wall next to me. "I'm sorry though. It must be hard to care so much about someone without being able to tell them how you feel."

"You have no idea." I reply and offer his hand one last squeeze. "Help me up? I've gotta get back and cleaned up before Tony starts getting suspicious since we were only supposed to have a short patrol after training tonight."

"You sure?" I nod, and he sighs as he helps me to my feet knowing he can't win an argument against me. So he just wraps his arm around my waist and swings us back to my house—not that he knows that. We land on the roof with barely a sound, and I offer Peter one last wave as I move to head inside, but the sound of his voice makes me turn around.

"Let me know if anything goes wrong? Or—you know—if anything turns up? Or if you just—just wanna chat? Yeah, chat." He mumbles and puts his hands under his arms like he always does when he's feeling awkward.

I can't help the laugh that bubbles up my throat. "Sure thing, hot stuff." I reply with wink that's mimicked by the lenses on the mask. "Tell May I said 'hi' and get some rest."

"Will do." He calls sounding happy before he swings away.

The sound of Dad's music echoes throughout the apartment, and I take a deep breath praying he's in his lab since I don't have the energy to fade into the shadows and sneak into my room. Instead, I just walk there and try to act casual in case he happens to see me on a security monitor, which he unfortunately had modified so I don't show up as a shadowy blur.

I manage to make it all the way back to my room and close the door behind me with a thankful sigh. "ARTI, remind me to clean and patch up the suit. Also, discreetly search through Dad's files to see if he has any notes or prototypes that are about a bulletproof suit."

"That would have been useful to have done before all this." ARTI sasses back at me.

"Yeah, well, sometimes you've gotta learn from your mistakes." I groan as I peel off my suit and grab some loose clothes to wear after I clean up. "Also, start organizing the data we pulled tonight from most to least relevant. I'll have to start sifting through it in the morning."

"Why in the morning? It's not like you sleep much anymore."

"You're starting to sound like Dad now." I joke and shake my head. "But I've got too much on my mind to concentrate on jargonistic files right now."

"All right, I'll start working on it then." He replies and goes quiet to start running the programs. I peel off my mask and take a deep breath without the restriction and filtration of the suit. My fingers turn it over in my hands as I think over everything that happened tonight.

Peter told me he likes someone, who by the sounds of it is probably MJ, and I told him that I liked him even though he doesn't know it was me saying it or that he was the guy I was talking about. It still makes that tight feeling in my chest worsen every time I think about it, which I don't want to.

I just can't stop. After all the times I told myself I wasn't gonna like anyone because of the mess my last and only relationship was, I did. Peter didn't even realize he found a way into my heart; he doesn't even realize how much it hurts to see him liking Liz and MJ—or whoever he was talking about.

Still, I've had enough pain tonight. So I do my best to brush the thoughts aside as I focus on making sure I'm healing all right. The blood dried and the wound already halfway healed. I decide to be cautious as I shower, careful to not get any soap in it as I wipe away the residual blood and clean myself up.

Any movement involving my waist sends a fresh wave of pain through me, and I have to bite my lip to keep from crying out as I disinfect and bandage myself up. It will probably be entirely healed by morning, but it's better not to chance an infection.

So I move carefully as I slip my watch back on with the Tuck In Protocol activated, climb under my blankets, and hope to get at least a few hours of sleep.

Except, my phone buzzes on my nightstand before I can even close my eyes. A message from Peter is there, patched in from the fake number he knows as Phantom's. The message makes me frown as I read it before setting my phone aside for a restless night of sleep with the words printed on the back of my eyes. "You're right. I'm gonna tell her tomorrow. Maybe you should tell your friend. He could feel the same. Anyway, feel better, and I'll see you for patrol tomorrow."

All I can think about is what he said. He's going to tell MJ, and I'll still be nothing more than a friend.