Sameer glanced at his watch as he honked yet again. The rickshaw-wala waved at him apologetically as he tried starting his rickshaw. He gave up after a couple more minutes of trying and then alighting from the rickshaw pushed it to the side of the road. Sameer muttered something under his breath and then changing gears drove forward.

Naina glanced at him, still in awe of his show-down with Taiji. No one had ever done that... neither her father nor her Chachiji... not even Chachaji. It was an alien feeling, having someone fight for her. Okay, it hadn't been some duel with swords or pistols, but it had felt just as dramatic! And Taiji had actually retreated in defeat. She smiled at the memory of that look of horror on Taiji's face as he told her off.

Sameer pulled the car in front of the theater, asked her to get down, and then went off to park the car. As he hurried back a few minutes later, he quickly ushered her inside and spotting Ravi guided her in that direction. The young men greeted each other and then both presented their women.

Smita was a simple and sweet looking girl draped in a sky-blue chiffon and wearing some oxidized silver jewellery. Ravi a pleasant looking chap with glasses and an open smile, was dressed in jeans and full-sleeved navy-blue shirt. Sameer apologised that they were running late and they all headed inside the theater without wasting more time, as the Shah Rukh Khan and  Suchitra Krishnamoorthi starer Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa was about to start. The movie had released few months back but was still doing well at the box office. Ravi had also hoped that considering the movie was not a new release, the theater wouldn't be extremely crowded thus reducing the chances of running into any acquaintances.

The two couples soon found their seats. Ravi followed by Smita, Naina and then Sameer settled down as the advert for Vicco Turmeric Cream flashed on the screen with the lyrics Bade naazon se pali humari baanon, tujhe dulhan banaye re pyaari baanon booming throughout the movie hall. Smita turned to Naina and asked smiling "Bahoot maza aaya hoga na haldi ke waqt?!" As Naina tried to think of an appropriate response, considering there had been no such rituals for her wedding, Smita went on without waiting for a reply "Maine toh decide kiya hai ke main yellow bandhej wali saree pehenungi aur bahoot saare gajre! Acha lagega na?" Naina smiled and nodded vigorously in agreement.

As the bride's perfect life played out on the screen, all apparently due to her using this face cream, Naina wondered if her life would have played out very differently too had she used that specific cream? Was it too late to start using it? She thought for a few moments and then gave herself a mental shake thinking how silly she was being...

The movie started soon, with the opening scene of Sunil (played by Shah Rukh) being woken up by his sister Nikki (played by Sadiya Siddiqui ) while he was dreaming of marrying his love interest Anna (played by Suchitra). As it turned out over the course of the movie, Anna loved another guy Chris (played by Deepak Tijori) who also reciprocated her feelings.

As the superhit romantic number Ae Kaash ke Hum Hosh Mein Aane Na Paye played on the screen, Naina heard Smita gasp and turned a little in her direction, only to jerk her head and eyes back towards the screen very quickly. Ravi had entwined his fingers with Smita's and after very slight resistance Smita had given into his demand.

Naina tried to concentrate only on the screen and block out the sweet nothings being whispered between the new lovers. But it was much easier thought than done.

Sameer had been completely focussed on the movie to start with, but about halfway through the song leaned over and whispered "Naina... (after a brief pause) Naina!" Naina wondering what he wanted to say to her during this particular song, missed more than a few heartbeats before she managed to croak a "Ji?.." He said with a smile in his voice "Ek solid idea aaya hai! Tumhare liye bhi aisa wala ek dress layenge..." Naina stilled, seeing the pale pink/peach almost off-shoulder dress with pretty puff sleeves. He wanted to see her in that?! She stammered "Kya?... Matlab Kyun?..." He chuckled softly "Aare, socho aisa kuch pehenke tumhari Taiji ke saamne jaogi... toh unko pakka heart-attack aa jayega!" Naina nodded and nervously made a chuckling sound.

During the interval, the boys headed to buy some food and drinks after checking with the girls for their preference. Smita smiled shyly at Ravi and mumbled Cola, while Naina asked for a Mangola. The girls then headed to the ladies.

As they freshened up, Naina complimented Smita on her saree and accessories. Smita smiling broadly announced that the Saree had been gifted by Ravi's family and Ravi had told her that this one was specifically his choice. He had asked her to wear it today and she added that the shirt he was wearing was her choice and she had asked him to wear it as she wanted them both to be in blue. Naina smiled at her, but then looking at her own outfit in the mirror thought how her and Sameer's did not match in the least.

After buying a Mangola for her, a cola for himself and two packets of popcorn, Sameer looked at Ravi in surprise as he stood with just one bottle of coke and one packet of popcorn. Yaar, kitna kanjus aadmi hai... peheli baar fiancée ko movie dikhane lana hai aur ek cola aur popcorn! Bechari Smita... But Smita did not seem to share his sentiments and only smiled blushing a deep red on seeing the single bottle and popcorn. While his own wife almost snatched the Mangola and her packet of popcorn, trying hard to hide the grumpiness she was feeling.

Seeing Naina struggling a little to walk in the heels carrying her share of the food and drink, as they made their way back to the seat, Sameer offered to carry it for her. But she refused muttering she didn't need any help. As they approached their row in the dark, she misjudged the height of the step and stumbled. Sameer immediately reached forward and slipping his right hand around her waist steadied her. Most of the popcorn which he had been holding in that hand spilled and some of hers too, but that was the least of their worries as Naina winced in pain, having sprained her ankle in the process.

He helped her hobble to her seat, muttering "Maine kaha bhi toh tha, ke main pakadta hu. Par meri sunnta kyun hai!" She mumbled as she settled in her seat "Sorry... aap ke saare popcorn gir gaye... mujhe aadat nahi hai heels pehenne ki... aur itna andhera bhi toh hai."

Smita and Ravi tutted a bit over this small accident, but soon resumed their romance sharing the single bottle of coke and popcorn. Naina watched their handhold out of the corner of her eye, finding it more painful than her sprained ankle.

Sameer felt a little annoyed at himself for asking her to wear heels without knowing if she was used to them or not. And then he felt a little guilty thinking how he had still enjoyed holding her close, in spite of the circumstances.

Feeling guilty that he had spilled all his popcorn trying to save her from a worse fall, Naina offered him her popcorn a few times. If their hands brushed lightly a couple of times as they both happened to reach inside the popcorn container at the same moment, they blamed it on the darkness. When they both felt a jolt of electricity, as Sameer happened to accidentally place his hand on the armrest while hers was already on it, Naina nervously muttered something about the effects of static electricity. He nodded in agreement, but the song Back marti hai farant marti hai, dekho ye ladki karant marti hai from the movie Police Officer came to his mind and he thought Yaar, yeh toh such mooch current marti hai!

Towards the end, Sameer kept casting helpless looks at her as she cried seeing Shah Rukh try in vain to get rid of Chris and win Anna's love. As Anna and Chris got married, Sadiya Siddiqui looked at Shah Rukh with a sad expression and shed a few tears, but Naina sobbed through the whole scene. Even watching him walk away with Juhi at the end, did not seem to help her feel better. Sameer offered her his handkerchief at some point and then watched in surprise-cum-shock as she blew her nose in it.

When the lights came back on at the end of the movie, Sameer insisted that she lean on his arm as they exited the theater in order to avoid aggravating the sprain. Naina shifted a little anxiously to start with, but then held his arm. As she hobbled out holding on to his arm, she hoped that the sprain would not heal overnight.

After the movie, the new couple who was truly committed to enjoying the evening, insisted on heading to a nearby ice-cream parlour. As Smita struggled to decide between Strawberry and Mango, Ravi announced he would get one each of the two flavours. Sameer felt he definitely had this in control and announced "Mujhe toh pata hai, Naina chocolate hi khayegi! Right?" His wife also nodded happily noting he had remembered her favourite.

The girls chatted amicably for a bit, Smita mostly sharing the plans for the wedding shopping and asking Naina for tips. The young men soon joined them having placed the orders. Ravi said to Naina "Bhabhi, aap isse samjha dijiye ke shaadi ke baad sasural aake bahoot kaam bhi karna padta hai! Yeh toh bus lambi list banane mein lagi hai, ke kaha jayenge... kya khaayenge... aur kitni shopping karenge..." Smita pouted "Abhi toh shaadi hui bhi nahi aur aap toh abhi se aisi boring baate karne lage hai! Naina, tum hi batao... main kuch duniya se alag maange kar rahi hu kya? Ek toh itne saal saare gharwale har baat pe kehte hai... shaadi ke baad apne pati se kehna. Toh kya ab pati se bhi nahi kahenge?!"

Naina sided with Smita and addressed Ravi "Bhaiya, Smita bikul theek keh rahi hai! Itne chote se armaan toh hote hai humare... Meri behen Preeti aur main bhi sochte thay... ke shaadi ke baad kitna maza aayega... kissi bhi din film dekhne ja sakenge... ya chaat khaane... ya woh film ki tarha bike pe ghumne jayenge... aur jab hum chote thay toh sochte thay ke jab humara apna ghar hoga, toh ek dibbay mein hamesha cream ke biscuits rakhenge aur ji bhar ke khaayenge!"

As Ravi and Smita good-naturedly laughed at this, Sameer asked sounding a little confused "Cream biscuits ji bhar kar khaane ke liye shaadi hi kya jarurat hoti hai?" Naina chuckled "Aap abhi Taiji ko theek se jaante nahi hai... humare ghar mein cream biscuits ka mahina ka ration hota tha... har hafte do se jyada kabhi nahi milte thay! Ek baar Preeti aur maine pura packet khatam kar diya tha... uske baad humari jo pitaya hui thi ke bus poochiye mat!"

Smita said "Naina, tumhari yeh Taiji na, bilkul meri ek gaav wali Mamiji jaisi lagti hai. Har baat pe bus thapad marna shuru kar deti hai!" She then turned to Ravi and added a little shyly "Aur waise bhi yahi toh waqt hota hai na ek dusre se aisi maange karne ka?" Ravi smiled back at her lovingly and replied in a flirting manner "Ghulam hazir hai... jo hukum mere aaka!"

Their ice-creams arrived about then. One bowl of chocolate for Naina, one of Keshar-Pista for Sameer and a third bowl with both Strawberry and Mango. Smita blushed again seeing Ravi wanted them to eat from the same bowl. Naina tried to find something else to look at, as the new love birds proceeded with fighting over who gets to feed whom first and then feeding each other casting lovelorn looks all the time. Sameer thought to himself grumpily, Kya stupid ideas hai... ek plate mein se khao ya do mein se, ice-cream ka taste koi badal toh nahi jaata!

Smita feeling shy with the audience murmured "Aap bhi na... Yeh log kya soch rahe honge..." Ravi responded in a teasing tone "Aare, unke pass full-license hai. Chahe jitna romance ghar pe kar sakte hai. Par humare pass toh abhi sirf learning-license hai, hum toh bus itna aur idhar hi kar sakte hai!"

Sameer decided that Naina's sprain was causing her more pain than she was letting on, as her eyes seemed to tear up a little. When it was time to head back home, he insisted that she remove the heels and made sure that she didn't have to walk more than a few paces. The couples said warm goodbyes to each other, expressing the wish to soon plan another such outing together.

On reaching home, Sameer again helped her to her room fussing over the sprain and offering to make her an ice-pack. Naina insisted that it wasn't that bad and would probably heal in a day or two.

Sameer flipped through some channels on the TV in the lounge for a bit before heading upstairs. As he lay in bed, he groaned unable to get rid of the image in his mind of Naina in all the cute little dresses that Suchitra had worn in the movie. He had joked about getting her that off-shoulder dress to trouble Taiji to start with, but once that thought came to his mind, he found himself imagining her in all the other outfits too.

His mind had been occupied with all that wishful thinking, even when she was sobbing her heart out for that Shah Rukh! What was that?? He had even leaned forward and checked once if Smita was crying too. But she had been happily smiling at whatever Ravi had been whispering in her ear. Did those two even watch a tenth of the movie?!

Thank God, she had sprained her ankle! Well, he wasn't happy she was hurt, but at least because of it she had ended up holding his arm and they had looked at least something like a couple. He had been so irritated at that public display of affection from Ravi and Smita! But later on, had been extremely reluctant to let Naina move away from him, once she leaned on him.

And then his mind drifted to the part that he had been trying to avoid all evening. Her soft and vibrant nighties and lingerie. It felt so wrong, all the colours in her life were hidden away, while she just donned the pale cottons every night. With growing uneasiness, he thought that she must have shopped for all those before he asked her to call off the Bidai. Had she bought all those hoping to add new colours to their lives... to his life? And what had he done??

He thought about the chote se armaan she had voiced earlier in the evening while defending Smita's wishes to Ravi. They were indeed chote se. And yet, unfulfilled. He gulped some more water from the bottle.

Naina found the room too stuffy that night. She did not want to open the window but was finding it hard to breath. She had looked forward to the evening with excitement when he called. But seeing the newly engaged couple had left her with so many emotions. And quite a few of them made her very uncomfortable. This was not her, right? How could she feel like this?! Unable to stay in the room, she headed to the lounge, on the way borrowing Nanu's radio from the informal sitting area.

As some songs played in a low volume, she tried to focus on the good memories from the evening. The sprain had been a godsend! She had been so ashamed of the glaring distance between them, while the other couple took every opportunity to be as close as possible. At least post that sprain he had offered her his arm, if only to support her.

She had been so overcome with joy and pride when he had so fiercely confronted Taiji, but now an unsettling thought came to her mind. He had only defended her choice of clothing and even in that, if she really thought about it... he had defended his mother's choice and upbringing. He had not said a single word about Taiji's accusation about her being unwanted in her sasural. He had not refuted Taiji's claim, bechare abhi bhi pachta rahe honge ke pata nahi kiss manhus ghadi mein yeh bala unke gale padi hai!

Naina felt the fear uncoiling in the pit of her stomach. He had not uttered a single word to indicate that she would never come back, that she now belonged in his home. She looked around herself helplessly. In spite of how much she tried, maybe this would never become her home.

As if the universe was echoing with her emotions, the song from the movie Ijaazat played over the radio.

Khali haath shaam aayi hai, khali haath jayegi
aaj bhi na aaya koi,
aaj bhi na aaya koi, khali laut jayegi
Khali haath shaam aayi hai, khali haath jayegi
khali haath shaam aayi hai

She glanced outside the window and watched the half-moon and some wisps of clouds float by for a few moments.

aaj bhi na aaye aansoon
aaj bhi na bheege naina
aaj bhi na aaye aansoon
aaj bhi na bheege naina
aaj bhi yeh kori raina, kori laut jayegi

That wasn't true. Her tears flowed freely quite often these days... but her nights were definitely bare.

khali haath shaam aayi hai, khali haath jayegi
khali haath shaam aayi hai

raat ki siyahi koi,
aaye to mitaye naa
raat ki siyahi koi,
aaye to mitaye naa
aaj na mitaye to yeh, kal bhi laut aayegi

Yes, it would be the same cold dreadful inky darkness again tomorrow night and the night after... just as it had been all these nights.

khali haath shaam aayi hai, khali haath jayegi
khali haath shaam aayi hai
aaj bhi na aaya koi, khali laut jayegi
Khali haath shaam aayi hai, khali haath jayegi
khali haath shaam aayi hai

She looked at her hands and the memory of Ravi and Smita's entwined hands flashed across her mind. It felt like the empty spaces between her fingers represented all the emptiness in her life. Hope seemed to be slipping away, not matter how hard she tried to hold on to it.

Why could Smita have it all and she nothing... she wondered in anguish? And once again she prayed to her Bhagwanji for forgiveness, assuring him that she did not bear that couple any ill will.

He had forgotten his Denim-jacket on the sofa, having removed it while watching the TV earlier. She pulled it to herself and gave in to the misery. Not everyone gets their happy ending and a love story. Even Shah Rukh didn't get his love in today's movie, right? Sobs racked her body.

Sameer stood like a statue outside the lounge. Having finished the bottle of water he had taken upstairs, he had come down to fetch another. She was crying again. What was wrong now? Was her ankle hurting so much? He dismissed that thought, instinctively recognizing that this was not the result of any physical pain. Her sobs sounded like they came from somewhere deep within. Some melancholy song was playing very softly on the radio. She sounded like... like she was almost mourning.

He didn't know what to do. Every time he had encountered her tears, he had felt lost for words. Never knowing what to ask or how to comfort her. Maybe, because he had hardly received any words of comfort when he cried as a small boy. A long time ago, he had decided that tears were pointless, and he had chosen other ways of expressing his pain, mostly anger. The rare occasions on which he had consoled Deepika, the cause of her tears had been mostly some bruises or cuts as a result of some accidents during playtime, and those tears he had understood.

As he stood battling with himself, he heard her move. He quickly stepped behind the rubber plant by the door and watched her exit the lounge. Just as she was leaving the lounge, she stepped back in and left something on a chair, something that she had been holding.

He watched her trudge to her room and close the door, almost holding his breath. Forgetting the reason for coming downstairs, he headed back upstairs. He stayed awake for most of the night, tiptoeing downstairs a couple of more times to check on the sounds coming from her room. The first time he heard some sniffling sounds. But the second and third time it was all quiet, seemed liked she had finally fallen asleep.

The next morning, he approached the kitchen rather apprehensively, a little earlier than usual. But she was busy cooking breakfast alongside Ramdhari as usual. Noticing him, she smiled briefly and advised him that breakfast would be ready in another five minutes and then proceeded with issuing some instructions to Ramdhari about checking if a particular type of Gud that her Chachiji had mentioned was available at their grocers. When he enquired about her sprain, she assured him that it was much better now.

Sameer found it hard to reconcile this daytime Naina to the one he had seen the night before. How could she act like nothing was wrong? Her slightly puffy eyes were the only proof that he had not imagined her tears the night before.

Before he left for the day, he found his jacket on the chair in the lounge. She had been clutching on to it last night, he realised with growing disquiet. He knew he was missing or not understanding something... something that he should. He slipped the jacket on and found himself surrounded by her comforting essence.

As soon as he met Munna and Pandit in college that morning, they wanted to know how the double movie date had gone. Sameer replied "Picture toh theek thi... par Naina uss Shah Rukh ke liye bahoot ro rahi thi. Yaar, film ko aaye che mahine ho gaye honge... sab ko pata hai Shah Rukh ko heroine nahi milti. Ab iss mein itna rone wali kya baat hai?!"

Munna tried to explain "Aare ladikya aisi hi hoti hai... humare ghar mein Mummy aur Sweety didi bhi aise hi har sad scene pe baltiyan bhar bhar ke aasu bahati hai! Woh Ravi ki mangetar bhi toh ro rahi hogi..."

Sameer retorted "Ussne film dekhi hoti toh shayad char aasu bahati... Woh dono toh bus apni hi duniya mein khoye huye thay." Pandit tried to be the voice of reason "Yaar, abhi nayi nayi mangni hui hai unki... woh toh romance hi karenge. Waise bhi kissi aur ki adhuri love story pe rone se toh behetar khud ki love story kaise aage badhayi jaaye yahi dekhna chahiye!" Munna nodded in agreement.

Sameer still a little ticked off continued "Yaar, abhi char din huye hai dono ko mile aur itna pyaar ho bhi gaya? Jaante bhi nahi honge ek dusre ko..." Munna interrupted "Aare bhai, humare yaha pyaar aise hi hota hai... rishta tey hua toh samjho pyaar ho gaya." Pandit chimed in "Bikul sahi... waise bhi jisse mangni hui hai, usse chod ke kissi aur se pyaar karne ka kya fayda?! Aur Ravi ne kaunsa kissi aur ko khud se patana tha... woh toh khush hoga ke gharwalon ne hi sab setting kardi hai!"

Couple of lectures later, when Pandit was chatting with some other guys, Munna said to Sameer "Yaar, tu itna kyun tension le raha hai? Sham tak Naina ka mood bilkul theek ho jayega..." He replied "Munna... yaar woh bahoot jyada ro rahi thi kal..." Munna tried to make light of the situation "Pata nahi kyun mujhe lagta tha ke Bhabhi ka favourite hero Salman hoga... par lagta hain Shah Rukh hai! Tabhi uske liye itna ro rahi hongi!"

Sameer shook his head "Nahi yaar... woh toh... raat ko ghar pe bhi bahoot ro rahi thi. Main panni lene neeche aaya tha... toh dekha." Munna turned serious "Aur kya boli? Kyun ro rahi thi?" Sameer shrugged his shoulders "Pata nahi... maine kuch poocha nahi" He friend looked at him in shock "Kya matlab poocha nahi?! Naina bahoot ro rahi thi... aur tune poocha nahi?" Sameer tried to explain "Mujhe bilkul samajh nahi aata yaar... usse rote huye dekhta hu toh kuch bhi nahi suzta. Kya poochu... kya kahu..." Munna answered impatiently "Aare, poochna kya hai? Bus yahi ke ro kyun rahi ho? Sab theek hai na? Aage bolegi toh wahi na... Aur Ponga ya main ro rahe honge toh tu poochega toh sahi na... ya bus waha se gayab ho jaayega?!" Sameer looked down feeling very guilty for not approaching her the night before. Munna trailed off "Shayad woh dono mein se kissine kuch bola hoga usse..." But Sameer didn't think so.

That evening, he again looked at her in disbelief as she served him dinner and made some brief general conversation as always. He wondered if this was her usual pattern? Crying by herself every night and then smiling through the day and pretending she was perfectly fine. If he hadn't chanced on her last night, he wouldn't have suspected that she was upset.

During the khidki-band-karo time, he remarked standing by the window "Aaj Ravi mila tha... keh raha tha Smita ko tum se milna bahoot acha laga. Woh dono chahate hai ke phir koi aur plan banaye... maine kaha aagli baar film nahi dekhenge... par dinner soch sakte hai. Tumhe woh Chinese try karna tha na..."

As Naina envisioned Ravi and Smita fighting over who feeds whom the soup and sharing the same plate of noodles, she blurted "Nahi... mujhe nahi jana unke sath!" As Sameer looked at in surprise, she tried to cover up "Matlab... abhi itne mein nahi jana... bahoot padhayi karni hai, aur abhi toh kuch hafton mein Diwali aayegi.... Toh baaki bhi bahoot kaam hai ghar mein."

Sameer looked at her as she fidgeted with her kangans, sitting on her bed her back against the headboard. She wears this white dress almost every night now... he thought. He sat by the foot and asked softly "Naina, tumhe ache nahi lage kya woh log? Un dono mein se kissine tumse kuch galat kaha kya?" She shook her head "Nahi toh... aap aisa kyun soch rahe hai? Dono ache hai... Smita bahoot sadhi si ladki hai... bus abhi bahoot kaam hai. Phir kabhi sochenge..."

He took a deep breath and asked "Kal kyun ro rahi thi itna?" She tried to brush it away "Movie thi hi sad... Bechara Shah Rukh. Mujhe toh hamesha hi aisi movies dekhte waqt rona aata hai." He persisted "Main movie ki nahi, raat ki baat kar raha hu..." When she paled but didn't reply, he added "Main raat ko panni lene neeche aaya tha... tumhe rote hue sunna... shayad tabhi poochna chahiye tha. Par mujhe kuch samajh nahi aaya..." She shifted uneasily under his gaze and mumbled "Kuch nahi hua tha... bus woh... ha, woh pau mein moch aayi thi toh bus thoda dard tha..."

He knew she was lying. He moved a little closer and placed his hand on hers, sounding really worried he asked "Roz aise hi rotti ho kya?" She looked at his hand covering hers in her lap and trembling slightly mumbled "Nahi toh... kaha na kal jyada taqleef ho rahi thi... matlab pau mein..." He shook his head not accepting that explanation. "Naina, such bolo kya hua tha... Tumhe agar Ravi aur Smita se phir nahi milna hai toh main force nahi karunga... par agar kal kuch hua hai toh mujhe batao."

She tried to pull her hand away feeling a little annoyed why he couldn't just let it go. But he tightened his hold thinking he couldn't let this slid by, considering he had actually managed to start the conversation.

She mumbled "Aap nahi samjhenge... in fact, galat hi samjhenge!" He whispered as he gently rubbed the back of her palm with his thumb "Promise... kuch galat nahi samjhunga." She looked around a little nervously avoiding his eyes and turned her face slightly away but stayed silent as she struggled to find the right words.

He suddenly got up and walked to the light switch board. Naina watched on in confusion as he switched on the dim nightlight and switched off the bright tube light. She stuttered "Light kyun... band kiya?" He returned to the bed and gestured her to move inside a bit. Then sitting next to her in the bed, his back now leaning on the headboard too, replied "Jab hostel mein tha... main aur mera roommate Yasir raat ko andhere mein hi baate karte thay, jab bhi hum dono mein se koi upset hota. Shayad yeh jaanke ke samne wala humara chehera nahi dekh raha hai, kabhi kabhi share karna easy ho jata hai. Try toh karo..."

She thought there must be some truth to his words, as it did feel a little easier. And whatever he might think of her, to her he was her better half, for better or worse. So, what if he sees the worst of her?

"Sameer... main badal rahi hu... aur mujhe yeh nayi Naina bikul achi nahi lagi." she broke her silence in a shaky voice. He didn't really understand what she was saying, but still tried to ease her fears "Naina, zindaji toh aisi hi hoti hai na... hum sab badalte hai..."

She replied despondently "Nahi Sameer.... Mujhe aisa nahi banna hai... Mujhe Smita se nahi milna, kyun ki mujhe darr lagta hai ke uski khushiyon ko meri nazar lag jaayegi." He was taken aback by this statement, but she continued "Mujhe aadat hai bachpan se aise logon mein rehne ki, jinke pass aisa bahoot kuch hai jo mere pass nahi. Swati, Preeti ya school mein ke dusre bachon ko unke Mummy Papa ke sath dekh kar mujhe kabhi aisa mehsus nahi hua. Kabhi bhi jalan nahi hui... par kal Smita ko dekh ke hui."

He wondered why did she envy Smita? Did she like Ravi?? No that was absurd... She went on after a brief pause, still struggling to voice her thoughts coherently "Woh dono apni nayi zindagi sath shuru kar rahe hai... main samhjti hu... par woh unka aise har waqt ek dusre mein khoye rehna... mujhe bahoot uncomfortable feel hua..."

He rushed to assure her "Naina, believe me... mujhe bhi! Matlab hadd hoti hai yaar... teen ghante ke movie mein se pandhra minute bhi nahi dekhi hogi unhone. Aur woh kya tha?! Ek bottle... ek popcorn... yaar itni kanjusi kaun karta hai?! Aur ek plate mein se khane se ice-cream kuch alag taste karta hai kya? Bahoot hi irritating harkate hai dono ki!"

In spite of everything, she smiled slightly thinking, Such mooch bilkul buddhu hai... and then a tiny voice from her heart added, Par mera buddhu hai. She shook her head "Nahi Sameer... humara kuch bhi normal nahi hai, iska matlab yeh thode hi hai ke woh galat hai... Jyadatar log toh aise hi hote hai. Pooja didi ke waqt dekha hai maine..."

Once again, a wave of grief overtook her as she thought of all she couldn't have, and the tears started flowing. Sameer took her right hand and held it with both his hands, as he struggled to find some words "Naina... sorry... main..." She cut him short as she sobbed "Aap ne toh pehele se hi... sab kuch... ekdum clearly bataya hai."

She took a few deep breaths and calming slightly continued "Aur bus aap please kissiko ghar bulane ki baat na kiya kare..." He responded sounding confused "Aare, maine toh woh Ravi ko ghar bulane ka socha bhi nahi..."

She responded sounding very worried "Ravi nahi... aap ne kal Chachaji se kaha tha na ke kissi din dinner par aaye... Sameer, main bahoot mushkil se sab ko ghar na bulane ke bahane banati rehti hu. Swati bhi baar baar kehti hai ke usse ghar aana hai..." He responded "Aare, toh na kyun karti ho? Bula lo na... Naina, tumhe apne family ya friends kissi ko bhi bulane se bilkul heechkichana nahi chahiye. Yeh tumhara bhi toh "

She stopped him and responded wretchedly "Nahi Sameer, aap shayad samajh nahi rahe hai. Chachiji, Taiji ya Swati koi bhi aayega toh humara kamra dekhna chahega... mujhse kahenge ke dikhao kaise lagaya hai. Kya dikhayungi main? Ek pal mein samajh jayenge ke hum sath nahi hai."

Sameer paled, he had not thought of any of this. She unknowingly tightened her hold on one of his fingers and continued in an unsteady voice "Mujhe har waqt darr laga rehta hai ke Chachaji ko pata chala toh kya hoga! Ek toh mujhse bahoot naraz honge ke maine itni badi baat unse chupayi... aur turant mujhe wapas leke jana chahenge."

His voice quivered as well "Kya matlab wapas leke jayenge?" She replied "Matlab... jab unhe pata chalega ke aap ko rishta manzoor hi nahi hai... toh yaha thode hi rehne denge."

She started sobbing again thinking of all that would follow. All that she would not be able to control.

He entwined the fingers of his right hand with her right hand and put his left hand around her trying to pull her close to him. This sudden idea of her going away, too unbearable and scary to comprehend. He mumbled hopefully "Par tum jana nahi chahati..." She shook her head "Main abhi nahi jaa sakti waha... mujh mein ab himmat nahi rahi sab ke sawalon ke jawab dene ki... aur kya batayungi? Kya samjhayungi un sab ko? Bahoot saal bahoot kuch sunna hai, ab aur nahi sunn sakti."

Suddenly worrying that he might get upset or angry thinking she did not have any plans to ever leave his house, she added "Matlab... at least jab tak college khatam nahi ho jata aur koi job nahi mil jata... agar abhi wapas jana pada toh Chachaji aur Chachiji chahe kuch bhi kahe, baaki sab log bahoot naraz rahenge."

He realised she was using the word naraz to play down the real reactions from her family. He had witnessed something of her Taiji's avatar the day before.

She went on, more thinking aloud than probably telling him "Wapas jaungi toh college bhi nahi jane denge... waise hi apprenticeship ke liye manna kar rahe thay, aise mein toh paka band karwa denge. Pehele bhi maine Nanaji se kaha tha unhe mannane ke liye... uss din mujhe toh laga tha woh yahi baat karne aa rahe hai. Par phir Nanaji ne toh uss bare mein kuch kaha hi nahi, aur ulta Bidai ki baat kar di."

He wanted to understand "Nanaji se tumne kab kaha tha apprenticeship ke liye? Jab Sundays ko aati thi tab?" She shook her head and hesitated a bit "Nahi... tab toh aap ne manna kar diya tha na Sundays ko aane se... Nanaji kissiko dekhne aaye thay humari society mein, tab ghar aaye thay. Mujhe toh laga tha ab bahoot problem hogi... maine ghar mein jhoot bola tha na... ke Nanaji sheher se bahar hai issiliye Sundays ko aap ke yaha nahi jati hu... Par Nanaji ne toh samajh kar bhi baat ko sambhal liya. Tabhi kaha tha maine unse apprenticeship ke bare mein mere gharewalon se baat karne ke liye... par shayad unhe acha nahi laga hoga..."

After a short silence, he asked "Swati toh tumhari khas saheli hai na... toh usse kuch pata chala toh tumhare gharwalon ko kyun batayegi?" She replied "Woh kissiko kuch nahi batayegi... par main batana nahi chahati." He asked confused, wondering why she wanted to hide from her closest friend "Par kyun?"

She was thankful for the darkness, as it hid her mortification when she answered "Mujhe... sharam aati hai... mujhe nahi batana kissiko. Pata nahi woh kya sochegi... jarur yahi sochegi ke mujh mein hi koi kami hai." His heart contracted further, if it was possible.

He tried to assure her "Naina, koi bhi aisa kuch nahi sochega!" He attempted to explain the concept in general "Rishte kamiyab na hone ka matlab yeh thode hi hota hai ke dono mein se kissi mein koi kami hai... kabhi kabhi log sirf alag hote hai, dono ke views alag hote hai."

She wasn't thinking objectively or in general, this was all very personal for her, she stated sounding rather agitated "Mujhe nahi batana kissiko toh nahi batana! Waise bhi kissi aur ko kya fark padta hai main uppar rahu ya neeche?! Baaki sab ko dikhane ke liye bus itna hi kafi hai ke main iss ghar mein rehti hu. Aur maine toh dil se koshish bhi ki hai... par koi nahi samjhega. Main janti hu, sab mujhe hi dosh denge!"

Sameer tried to placate her "It's okay... kissiko kuch batana jaruri nahi hai... main toh sirf keh raha tha " She cut him off, trembling as the tears continued "Aap chinta mat kijiye... mera koi irada nahi hai zindagi bhar aap ki marzi ke khilaf iss ghar mein rehne hai! Bus abhi nahi ja sakti..." He tried to shush her "Aare... main kaha keh raha hu tumhe kahi janeko... please aise sochna band kar do."

At some point his left hand had curled around her waist, while her left hand had closed around a fistful of his t-shirt. He kept mumbling words of comfort, all the while rubbing his thumb against her waist trying to get her to calm down. Eventually feeling like she had run out of words and tears too, she quietened. There were still feelings of love and the fear of losing him, that had been left unsaid, but she was not capable of voicing them.

Eventually both went quiet, each lost in his or her own thoughts.

Sameer was struggling to come to terms with all her fears and insecurities, and the fact that most of them were of his making. He felt lost, how could he have been so oblivious to her pain? How had he been so selfish, that he never paused to think of the impossible situation he had placed her in? And all this for some misguided notion that her family had manipulated or pressured his Nanu into agreeing for an early Bidai. Preeti's words from some time back echoed in his mind Bahoot bura kiya hai tumne meri behen ke sath.. iss sab mein usski kya galti thi? He felt so ashamed of his behaviour.

He fleetingly wondered at what had made Nanu prepone the Bidai, but then decided it really did not matter. She was always meant to come here, even if just a few months later.

What really shook him was the prospect of her leaving. His grip on her waist tightened. No! He had just found her. And this time, he would not let life take away what was rightfully his.

Naina was overwhelmed by this unanticipated conversation and unplanned sharing of so many feelings. What would he think of her? And what would he do now? Would he be upset? And would his behaviour change? She shuddered as she thought, would he stop these nightly visits?

While a lot of her struggled and agonized over similar thoughts and questions, her soul rejoiced at the unexpected closeness to its mate. It recognized that familiar presence from eons of bonding and felt at home. Her hands were not empty tonight.

A little while later, Sameer realised that the rhythm of her breathing had evened out. And more of her was leaning into him. She had fallen asleep. He shifted slightly adjusting the pillow behind him and dropped a light kiss on the top of her head, as a sense of peace and all-will-be-well flooded his being.

(Fun fact – I spent a lot of time trying to find a love triangle movie where we had 2 heroines and 1 hero, fitting that timeline.Unable to find such a movie, I settled on Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa, but then later realised that Sadiya Siddique (our Naina's VO) was part of that cast. So, am really pleased to find an underlying connect of this movie date with our show!)