K.I.L.I.T. Radio

The trio are washing the cart, while Muscle Man is playing the guitar. "You're the pickle on...no...no...you're the cheese on my burger...uh...burger... Yo bros, what rythmes with burger?" Muscle Man asked. "Shmurger?" Rigby asked. "Shmurger isn't a word, Rigby." (Y/n) said. "It'll work." Muscle Man puts down his guitar "What rhymes with "hottest girl in the world"?" He asked. "Dude, Muscle Man what are you doing? Why don't you help us?" Mordecai asked. (Y/n) stops washing the cart and sits beside Muscle Man. "What's the special occasion,

Muscle Man? Why do you want to write a song all of a sudden?" (Y/n) asked curiously. "I'm writing a song for Starla. Today marks a special day in the history of our relationship. It's the anniversary when we first made out. And I want it to be really special for Starla. That's why I'm gonna call K.I.L.I.T Radio and get DJ Donny G to play my song and give a shout out to Starla!" Muscle Man said.

"Aw! That's so sweet!" (Y/n) said, and Mordecai rolls his eyes. "Dude, that's not gonna work." He said. "Why not?" (Y/n) asked. "No, she'll totally hear it because she listens to the radio like every night." Muscle Man said. "No, dude. Donny G doesn't play amateur music." Mordecai said. "Mordecai!" (Y/n) scolds. "What? Its true." He said, and (Y/n) rolls her eyes. "Yeah, he doesn't even take requests anymore." Rigby said. "Really? Why?" (Y/n) asked. "We don't know." Rigby said.

"You're wasting your time." Mordecai said. "There's no way they're gonna play your song." Rigby said. "We'll see about that!" Later in the kitchen, Muscle Man calls K.I.L.I.T. Radio with (Y/n), Mordecai and Rigby in the room. "Hello, this is K.I.L.I.T Radio~" the line said. "Yeah, I like Donny G to play my-" Muscle Man began. "To talk to a K.I.L.I.T representative, press 0." Muscle Man presses 0.

"Are you calling in regard to a song you heard?" The voice asked. "No, I wanna talk to somebody!" Muscle Man presses 0 several times. "ZERO! ZERO! ZERO!" He shouted. "I'm transferring you to our bilingual system." The voice replied. "NO!" Muscle Man presses 0 again. "ZERO! ZERO! ZERO!" He shouted. "Hola, llamaste Radio K.I.L.I.T.~" Muscle Man moves the table & chair. "Uhh! I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE SAYING!" He hits the phone madly on the table. (Y/n),

Mordecai & Rigby come to Muscle Man. "Dude, Muscle Man, calm down!" Mordecai shouted. "Well that's 0 stars for costumer service." (Y/n) said. "Ugh! I'm a failure of a boyfriend! I can't even do something special for my girl!" Muscle Man shouted. "Why don't we just go down to the radio station and find somebody to talk to?" (Y/n) asked. "Yeah, maybe someone there can help you." Rigby agreed. "You're right, bros. I need to take this to the source." The gang go to the K.I.L.I.T. Radio station when they get out of the car and Muscle Man presses the speaker and the security camera turns to them. "Welcome to K.I.L.I.T Radio. Do you have an appointment?~" the speaker asked.

"Uhh...no but-" Muscle Man said. "You need an appointment to enter. Good day.~" Muscle Man presses the speaker again. "K.I.L.I.T. Radio." The speaker said. "Look, I just want to talk to someone." Muscle Man said. "Do you have an appointment?" The speaker asked. "No, I have this-" Muscle Man said. "Good day." The voice said. "Can you believe this place?!" Muscle Man asked. "Not really." (Y/n) crosses her arms. "Sorry, Muscle Man." Mordecai said. "Wait, who's that?"

Rigby asked as a car comes to a parking spot. "Dudes, I think that's Donny G." Muscle Man asked. "Who?" (Y/n) asked. "Donny G, bro. How have you not heard of him?" Muscle Man asked. "What? That's not him." Mordecai said. "Dude, that's him." Muscle Man said. "Yeah, I think it is him." Rigby said. "Watch. YO DONNY G!" Donny G looks at him. "SEE! WOO! DONNY G! HA HA I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! My name's Mitch! Big fan!" Muscle Man said. "Uhh, thanks man." He walks away.

"Listen, I need a big favor. I wrote this song for my girlfriend Starla. Could you have them play it on the air tonight?" Muscle Man asked. "Uhh.." Donny replied. "It would mean so much to me." Muscle Man said. "Yeah dude, come on, can't you?" (Y/n) pleads. "Yeah, okay sure I'll give it a whirl." Donny said. "And do an old-fashioned shout out?" Muscle Man asked.

"Hey, why not." Donny said. "WHOOO! Oh man, Starla's gonna be so stoked! Thanks Donny you're the best!" Muscle Man said. "No problem, my man." Donny said. (Y/n), Mordecai, Muscle Man and Rigby get in the car. "Well, that was easy!" Rigby said. "Where's that button when you need it?" (Y/n) joked, and Rigby chuckles. "Yeah, we totally got the hook up from Donny G! Man, I can't wait to see Starla's face tonight. She's gonna be really appreciative." Muscle Man said.

Muscle Man sees Donny G throw away the tape in his rear view mirror. Muscle Man gasps. "OH NO BRO!" Muscle Man gets out of the car, slamming the door behind him. "YO DONNY!" Muscle Man closes the car door and begins running towards Donny G. "DONNY G!!!" Muscle Man shouted. "He's dead." (Y/n) said quietly. "Look man, it's not what you think." Donny G. said. "It is what I think! 'Cause I saw you! I used to think that you were cool! You know something,

I see D-player could do your job! But you know what, I still have a voice." Muscle Man takes his tape out of trash can. "And this voice, on this tape won't be silenced on YOU!" Muscle Man shouted. "Shh, shh, shh." Donny G. said. "I SAID I WON'T BE SILENCED!" Muscle Man shouted. "Okay, okay." Donny G. glances at the security cameras warily. "But, we can't talk here." The gang go to 'Double Dunk Diner' where (Y/n), Mordecai, Muscle Man, Rigby and Donny G are sitting and talking. "I'm sorry for the secrecy. It's not safe to talk back at the radio station. Look, Mitch, you were right about everything you said back there. The fact of the matter is, I haven't played a song in a long time." Donny G said. "But why?" (Y/n) asked. "Back in the day, K.I.L.I.T. was run by the most famous DJs in the world. We were the heart and soul of the station. And we loved every minute of it."

~Flashback~

"This is DJ Donny G and we got a nine o'clock power rock block coming up next for y'all, but first a shout-out to Charles Z from Wendy R. Love ya babe. 'Cause that's how we KILL IT!" Donny G. shouted. "Things were going great, until one day, the top executives showed up and enforced a new automated DJ system, just so they could cut the budget in half. Little did they know, the system learned to DJ at a geometric rate. And on August 4, 2:14 P.M. EST. time, it became self-aware.

That was the day the music died. A man gets choked to death by tapes and everyone looks at him. Cartridges are thrown at everyone and the DJs evacuate the building. Everyone except Donny escapes. "Stay, Donny. We have a special job for you. You must stay!" K.I.L.I.T. DJ 3000 said. "As time went on, K.I.L.I.T. Radio's new format grew in popularity." Donny G. said. "This is K.I.L.I.T. Radio. Clean out your ear holes, dummies!" K.I.L.I.T. DJ 3000 said. "And as for my special job." Donny became a janitor. "Now, clean me Donny. CLEAN ME!" Donny sprays water on the system's screen.

~Present~

"So, that's not your voice on the air?" (Y/n) asked. "No. It's just a computerized simulation of it." Donny G. said. "So that's why they don't take song requests anymore. K.I.L.I.T. needs the human touch back. It needs DJ Donny G!" Rigby said. "Nah. Those days are over. Now I'm just DJ Donny the janitor." Donny G. said. "Oh, forget that! You need to get back on the air!" Muscle Man shouted. "Eh, what's the point?" Donny G. asked. "What? Are you seriously just going to give up?" (Y/n) asked.

"The point is to not let some lame machine tell you what to do. Radio should be for the people, by the people." Muscle Man said. "Yeah!" (Y/n) said. "You're right." Donny G. said. "I'm glad you think so Donny G. 'Cos I gotta song to play and you're the only man to do it. What do you say we get you back on the air?" Muscle Man asked. Later at at night Donny G, Muscle Man, (Y/n), Mordecai and Rigby are standing out front of K.I.L.I.T. Radio. Donny presses a button to signal that he's arrived. "Unknown individuals detected. Who are these people, Donny?" K.I.L.I.T DJ 3000 asked. "Uh, they're repairmen I hired to fix a couple of things. Can't do it all myself. Heh heh heh." (Y/n), Mordecai, Rigby and Muscle Man are dressed in uniforms to look like repair people.

The camera scans them and shows that since Mordecai's skinny he isn't threatening, Muscle Man's fat so he's harmless and Rigby and (Y/n) are small so they aren't a threat either. "It's onto us." (Y/n) whispers. "Dude, be cool." Mordecai said. She stops detecting. "You may enter." She opens doors and Donny, (Y/n), Rigby, Mordecai and Muscle Man enter the building. Muscle Man, (Y/n), Mordecai, and Rigby look around while the cameras are watching. "Alright guys, the trouble's down in the basement. Let's get you fellas set up." They go downstairs to the equipment room, while the cameras are still watching them.

"Okay, go grab some old equipment and patch them in the system manually." Rigby grabs some wires, but gets stuck. "C'MON!" Rigby shouted. "Rigby!" (Y/n) tries to help him. Other equipment falls down with a tug of the wire. K.I.L.I.T DJ 3000 notices. "Uh oh." (Y/n) said. "You're planning to overwrite the automated broadcast." K.I.L.I.T DJ 3000 said. "Uh, no!" Muscle Man said. "Intruders must be neutralized." K.I.L.I.T DJ 3000 said. "What?!" (Y/n) asked.

The door closes and K.I.L.I.T DJ 3000 tries to attack. "Not before Starla hears my song!" Muscle Man throws a work drawer at K.I.L.I.T DJ 3000. When it gets destroyed he kicks the door open. "We have to get to the main broadcast room pronto!" Muscle Man kicks down the door, and they run out of the equipment room. When they enter the hallway, all the other security cameras notice and try to attack. Shooting wires, one of the cameras tangles (Y/n) up. "AHH!" She screams. "(Y/N)!" Rigby shouted. Rigby throws a screwdriver at one of the K.I.L.I.T security cameras, untangling her from the wire. (Y/n), Mordecai and Rigby throw various equipment at the cameras, destroying them.

"To the elevator!" They all run into the elevator. Donny presses the button to go to floor 3 repeatedly. "AHH!" Everyone screams. Muscle Man kicks the camera out. "Donny, You are acting very foolishly." Getting off the elevator, Muscle Man goes first when (Y/n), Mordecai & Donny help him out and when they all got out, they had to climb to the top of room 3. Muscle Man grunts and K.I.L.I.T DJ 3000 sees him. "We made it!" Muscle Man said. The elevator wires break.

"AHH!" Everyone except Muscle Man scream. "Oh no bro!" Muscle Man holds on to everyone while getting up. They make it to the broadcast room. "Hold them off when I set up!" K.I.L.I.T DJ 3000 uses microphones to get (Y/n), Muscle Man, Rigby and Mordecai. Donny puts the equipment in the center of the radio station while the others try to fight back with K.I.L.I.T DJ 3000. "Okay, guys we're ready!" One record suddenly goes through Donny and (Y/n) gasps. "DONNY G!!!" Muscle Man breaks the microphones and goes to him. "Donny G.." He said. "Mitch..." he pants. "..the tape Mitch.." He said. Muscle Man takes out the tape. "What do I do to play the tape?" He asked. Donny G pants. "Leave it to me."

He gives out his hand for Muscle Man to give him the tape. Muscle Man gets upset and gives him the tape. Donny could barely be calm and goes to put the song in. "Don't do it Donny. If you play the tape, I will be forced to destroy the whole station." K.I.L.I.T DJ 3000 tangles Donny with the wires. "Donny!" (Y/n) shouted. "Go..save yourselves..No matter what you hear just keep running." He said. "I'll never forget you Donny G." Muscle Man said. "I'll never forget you Mitch.

You gave me my life back." Muscle Man smiles and turns back. "Let's book." They all try to get out except Donny. Donny tries to put in the tape. "Don't do it Donny, I'm the DJ now, remember?" K.I.L.I.T DJ 3000 asked. "NOW, I'M GONNA SHOW YOU HOW I KILL IT!" Donny puts it in and presses that they're on the air. "NOOOOOO!!!" It shows self-destruction in 10 seconds. "Hey all you cool cats! This is your main man on the microphone, Donny G! Coming on live for one last time, with one very special request joining me here at the K.I.L.I.T studio with my main man Mitch!" Donny G. said. "And he's got a very special song, for a very special lady, Starla." Starla smiles. Donny presses the play button.

When he pressed the play button, the self-destructing countdown ended and the studio was getting destroyed while Muscle Man, (Y/n), Mordecai & Rigby tried to get out and also Muscle Man's song "Starla" was being heard. "Used to be a loser, hanging with my loser friends, and the first time when we made out, made my neck hair stand on end! Oh Starla, Starla-uh-uh-uh-uh!" Inside Starla's car she smiles even more. "I guess it's like my heart is spinning donuts, you're the cheese upon my burger, i'm the mustard on your bun!" Donny puts on his sunglasses while seeing the explosion. "Just like the perfect burger, our love's never overdone! You're the ice cube in my cola, I'm the ketchup on your fries, and I'll punch the face of any bro, who says so otherwise!" They all got out the building. "Oh Starla! But I knew you'd be my lady!

And I'll be your Muscle Man!" Starla comes and gets out of her car. "Oh, Mitch! Mitch!" Starla hugs Muscle Man. "You did this all for me?!!" She asked. "I'd do anything for you babe! Did you like the song?" Muscle Man asked. "It was so romantic! You remembered the anniversary of the first day we made out!" Starla said. "Not only that, I remembered how we did it!" Starla and Muscle Man kiss.

"I don't know, that song was kind of lame." Mordecai said, and (Y/n) nudges him. "Ow!" He said. "Yeah, but it was pretty rad how we outran that fireball." Rigby said. "Yeah, it was like a movie or something." Donny G said. "You mean like in all of those action movies? That's how explosions happen every time." (Y/n) said. "Yeah you have a good point." Rigby said.

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