The park workers are all in the living room. Benson runs through with choices for game night. "Ahem. Alright. The options for this month's game night are:" Benson reads the list. "Checkers, cards, Double Dutch, Tiddly Winks and—" he pauses.  "My Mom" isn't a game, Muscle Man. That doesn't even make sense." He said. "Looks like I win!" He high fives Hi Five Ghost and (Y/n) rolls her eyes.

"Let's play Ball-bo Catcher!" Pops plays with the Ball-Bo catcher and laughs. "A crossword puzzle?" Skips asked. "Okay, let's vote." Mordecai yawns. "Yes, Mordecai?" Benson asked. "Oh, nothing." He replied. "Do you have a better idea?" Benson asked. "We could play one of those stale old games we usually play." Mordecai said. "Or we could play the sci-fi fantasy epic of the century!" Rigby holds up game box. "Behold, The Realm of Darthon!" He said.

Mordecai waves his arms while vocalizing. "So, what is it?" Benson asked. "It's a role-playing game. We make up an adventure and you guys try to beat it." (Y/n) said. "You can use magic and stuff." Rigby said. "A game of imagination? What fun!" Pops said. "Sounds lame." Muscle Man said. "No way." Rigby said. "The guy at the store told us it's the hottest RPG of the year."  (Y/n) said, and Benson sighs. "All in favor?" Benson asked. everyone else but Skips agrees. "WHOOOOO! Darthon! Darthon!" The duo high-five. "WHOOOOO!" And(Y/n) giggles.

"Get ready for the best game night of your life." Rigby said. Later in the kitchen, the park workers are all playing Realm of Darthon. "Your party walks down a long hallway and reaches a locked door. What do you do?" Mordecai asked. "I smash it open with my war claw! Then, a bunch of ladies come out, and they're all, "Ooh Muscle Man, quit pinching my butt with your war claw!" Muscle Man said. "Roll the 50-sided die to see if you unlock the door." (Y/n) said. Skips looks at the die and marbles.

"All we have is a 48-sided die and two marbles." He said. "Close enough." Rigby said. Muscle Man rolls the die and marbles... only for all of them to roll off the table. "Did it work?" He asked. Rigby looks at the chart. "Uhhh... I don't think so." He said. "This blows." Muscle Man said. Pops waves his hand. "Mordecai! Mordecai!" He then speaks in a western accent. "But I'll reckon I'd like a turn now!" He said. Mordecai looks at the book. "Cyborg cowboys take three days to awaken from hypersleep. Sorry, Pops." He said, and Pops moans. "Can't he cast a saving throw?" Skips asked. "Uhhh..." Mordecai said. "What does all this stuff mean? Are we even in Darthon yet?" Benson asked.

(Y/n) flips through the book, moaning. "Or is that just an artifact for something?" Benson asked. (Y/n) flips through the book, then quickly closes it. "Uhhh... your party is suddenly ambushed by a flock of manbats! Skips the Mighty gets first strike!" She said. Skips rolls the dice and marbles. "Let's see..." Rigby calculates. "Pirate samurai have plus two times two shen... minus three charisma... divide by number of geese... Do we have a protractor?" He asked. "I'm outta here." Benson said. All of the park workers, except for the trio, get up and walk away. "Worst game night ever!" Muscle Man said.

"Dude, they're right!" Rigby knocks away the stand. "This game sucks!" He shouted. "Let's get our money back." Mordecai said. At the Comics Plus store, there's a long line of people standing in front of the store. (Y/n), Mordecai and Rigby walk past the crowd to get to the front. "Out of the way! Out of the way, everybody!" Rigby said. "Coming through, coming through!"  Mordecai said. "Sorry, excuse me, sorry!" (Y/n) said, as she tries to avoid everyone without bumping into them. "Out of the way! Out of the way people!" Rigby said. They've reached the front of the line.

"We're here for a refund." (Y/n) said. "I'd love to give you a refund, but you need a receipt for that." The clerk said. "I got a receipt right here." Rigby slaps the receipt onto the table. "Excellent. And now the unopened product?" The clerk asked. "What?! You can't return it if it's opened?!" Mordecai asked. "Well, yes! It's clearly stated on the back of your receipt." The clerk said. "But that's not how it works! You get a refund for a purchase you're unhappy with! How can you be unhappy with something you haven't even opened?!" (Y/n snapped.

"Exactly! Plus, you can barely even see the writing!" Rigby agreed. "Yes, well, perhaps if you learned to read, it would be easy for you to see. Good day, lady and gentlemen!" The clerk said, and (Y/n) growls and clutches her fist. "Dude, just give us our money back, you big jerk." She said angrily. "Yeah! This game blows!" Rigby pounds on the table. "Uh, The Realm of Darthon does not blow!

You're probably doing it wrong. It's a role-playing game. You have to use your imagination." The clerk said. "No way, dude! The game is the problem, not us!" Rigby shouted. "Yeah, don't blame your poor taste in games on other people!" (Y/n) shouted. "Uh, hey, are you guys gonna be wrapping this up soon?" A person in line asked. "Oh yeah. We're done here." The clerk said. The person goes up to the table to get TRoD checked out. "Hmph. Hmph. Okay, I guess you won't mind if we tell people how "cool" your game is!" Rigby said, then (Y/n) turns to everyone. "Hey, everybody! Don't waste your time waiting in line for this huge piece. It's probably the worst game we've ever played." She said.

"Yeah, and he won't even give us a refund. This guy doesn't give refunds, people!" Rigby added, and everyone puts their copies back on the shelf. "Let's go!" The clerk pushes the trio out the door. "I want you three out of my store, now!" He slams the door. "Ugh! We can't let that guy get away with this. Dudes, we spent the last of our cash on it! We have to get our money back." Mordecai said. "Dude, give it up. I think he made it clear he's not giving it back." (Y/n) frowns.

"Not if we just sabotage his business until he gives us our refund." Mordecai said. Some time later, the trio drive up in the golf cart, wearing cheaply-made costumes. "Heh, nice outfits!" Someone from the crowd chuckles. "Losers." Everyone else in line laughs and the trio glares. "You don't like these costumes? But they're from the "Make Your Own" section of the Darthon game book." (Y/n) said, and everyone in line gasps. "That's right." Mordecai said. The clerk looks on, and walks out.

"We followed the instructions perfectly." Mordecai said. "But you used toilet paper rolls, instead of paper towel rolls. The costumes look awesome when you do it right." The clerk said. "Yeah? Do they look as awesome as the game pieces?" Rigby holds up an ugly-looking wizard character piece. "Ugh!" A person in line walks away. "W-w-w-wait! There's lots of other characters if you don't like the pixie sorcerer." The clerk said. (Y/n) holds up the book of characters. "No there aren't. They're all just the same with different costumes." She flips pages of book to show that every character has the same ugly face and pose. "I didn't realize it was that kind of game." The 4th person in line said. "Nobody knows what kind of game it is." Rigby said. "Is it medieval? Sci-fi? Western?"

Mordecai asked. "It's a role-playing game!" The clerk shouted, and everyone walks away. "You have to use your imagination! Ugh!" He walks away. "That's right! Go get us our refund!" Rigby shouted. "I don't think that's where he's going." (Y/n) said. The clerk nails a sign to the wall. It reads: "25% off The Realm of Darthon" "No way!" Everyone comes to the store because of the sign and (Y/n) growls. "Alright, you want to do this this the hard way? Then let's do this the hard way!" (Y/n) said. "Don't worry (Y/n), this campaign is just getting started." Mordecai said.

The trio start discouraging the other people from buying TRoD. The trio first show two people that the stand must be set up, and that setting it up can be dangerous, making them shake their heads and walk away. The clerk gets angry and makes the game 50% off. Then, Rigby shows the people in line that the 50-sided die is only 48-sided. The people in line walk away again as the clerk watches and makes the game 75% off. Mordecai then shows the people in line how excessively long the game board is. The people walk away yet again,

making the clerk having to sell the game for 100% off with purchase of gum. One person purchases gum and gets the game, but (Y/n) stops the guy to show that the card deck has a joker playing card and a dry cleaning coupon. The person then throws the game against the wall and kicks it a few times before walking off. The trio high-five. "That's it!" The clerk comes out wearing a cape and a gold helmet, and holding a book. "The Realm of Darthon does not suck!" He shouted. "Yeah, but your costume does." (Y/n) said, and her best friends laugh.

The clerk pants heavily before an aura surrounds him while he holds the book to his face, exposing his skull. "No refunds!" The Clerk's face reverts back to normal, but with dilated pupils, as he laughs insanely. The trio scream. Torches light up, showing that they are now in a temple. The trio are now in authentic fantasy-like outfits, with (Y/n) wearing a long dress. "Dude, check out our costumes." Rigby said. "What the?" (Y/n) asked, then groans. "Oh, of course, just because I'm a lady I'm automatically some kind of princess character. Talk about sexist." She said,

and Rigby laughs. "Better stay back so you don't get hurt, your majesty." He said mockingly, and she growls. "Shut up!" She shouted. "Guys!" Mordecai scolds. "Where are we?" He asked. A booming voice echoes through the temple. "Welcome, to the Realm of Darthon. Leave while you still can." The clerk said. "We're not leaving without a refund." Mordecai said. "Yeah, we're not scared of your little parlor trick here." (Y/n) scoffs. The scenery around the house goes black as the doors to the way out close. "Then come and get it!" A gate door opens. The trio run into the temple. A noise makes sound somewhere. "Did you hear that?" Rigby asked. "I think it's coming from a—" manbats come towards the trio. " ...head! " They start to swarm around them. "Aaagh! What are these things?" (Y/n) shouted.

"Ignore it, (Y/n). They're just lame enemies from the game." Mordecai said. "Lame? What do you think of man bats' teamwork?" A big manbat sucks up some manbats in front of him and spits them at the trio, but they slice them all in half with swords. "Next time, send enemies that don't blow." Rigby said. The trio run into a foyer. "Well, if you didn't like those enemies, then how about some..." the creatures appear as said. "Mutant jellyfish! Robo-bears! Angry tree people with pixie sorcerers?" The trio start slicing the enemies, and as they die, they disappear into smoke.

"Guys, watch out!" (Y/n) throws a knife that lands into a pixie sorcerer's stomach. Although it dies, the trio are still surrounded. "Guys, there are too many of them!" (Y/n) shouted, and the trio look at each other. "Come on! Everyone knows technomancers can summon allies." The clerk said. "Rigby!" Mordecai shouted. "Send help! Quick!" (Y/n) shouted. Rigby pushes the buttons on his keyboard. "Summon allies!" Three orbs are unleashed into the air. The orbs summon Skips, a warrior, Pops, a cyborg cowboy, and Benson, an elf. "What the—" Benson said. in the BG,

the trio are fighting the bad guys. "I told you guys I didn't want to play this game." Benson said. "We need your help!" (Y/n) shouted. "We need the refund from the game master!" Rigby shouted. "What?" A robo-bear roars, and starts charging towards them. Skips goes over and kills the robo-bear with one swipe of the blade. A bird flies onto his shoulder. "When this is over, you three are dead!" Benson shouted. Benson fires an arrow. The trio fend off some formally-dressed jack o'lanterns.

Pops pushes buttons on a keyboard, firing a laser at an angry tree person, killing it. "Oooh!" Pops laughs while firing lasers at mutant jellyfish. There's still a lot of enemies around them all. Skips kills a jack o'lantern, and Benson fires an arrow at a mutant jellyfish. Pops is still trigger crazy. "Haha, yeah!"  Mordecai said. "I changed my mind. Necromancers can't summon allies." Benson, Pops and Skips disappear. "What?" Rigby asked. "Hey! That's cheating!" (Y/n) shouted angrily. "Yeah! Quit chea—" a pixie sorcerer shoves Rigby in the stomach, pinning him to the ground, and punches Rigby. A mutant jellyfish is stuck to Mordecai, as he tries to pull it off.

"I'm not cheating. I'm using my imagination!" (Y/n) slices the jellyfish, splitting it into two. "Thanks." Mordecai smiles at her.  "That's what makes this game fun!" The voice said. "That's what makes this game blow!" Mordecai shouted. "Enough!" The enemies disappear, and a light shines. "I won't allow you to insult my realm any longer." The silhouette of a knight appears into the light, and reveals itself on top of the steps. "I am Darthon!" The mace levitates into the air, and its spikes morph into screaming faces that turn into a ghost skeleton.

"Still think this game blows?" The ghost flies towards the trio as they scream. Rigby unleashes a lightning bolt from his finger. Lightning bolts have no effect on giant monsters." The lightning bolt bounces off the ghost. Mordecai throws a bomb. "Projectile weapons deal damage to the user!" The bomb morphs into a boomerang and explodes over the trio's heads. "Oh no, you stepped in a permafrost puddle!" The ground freezes under the trio's feet, causing them to slip. "Players are frozen in place! " Ice freezes up to the 'trio's necks. The ghost is coming towards them.

"Stay back!" (Y/n) shouted protectively, and the ghost stops. "Self-destruct?" Rigby asked, and the ghost explodes. The trio look at each other, now realizing the only way to defeat Darthon is to beat him at his own game - fight magical fire with magical fire, in other words. "We are not frozen." (Y/n) said, and the ice around them breaks. "Looks like it's our turn." Mordecai said. The trio start running. "Your party is washed away by a flood!" The clerk summons a tidal wave. "Our +3 awesomeness repels water." (Y/n) said, the wave fails to attack the three.

Darthon screams in anger and summons a fireball. "Fireballs are made of kittens!" Rigby said. The fireball becomes kittens. "Kittens are man-eating tigers!" The kittens become tigers. "Man-eating tigers turn into stuffed animals!" Mordecai said. The tigers become stuffed animals. The stuffed animals run into the trio as they run up the steps. "Players lose their weapons when running!" (Y/n)'s, Mordecai's sword and Rigby's staff fly off. "Warriors carry the Immunity Sword, which is immune to all rule changes!" (Y/n) said, and she pulls out the sword. "W-what?! No! That's not—" (Y/n) stabs Darthon with the Immunity Sword in the chest, beating the Dungeon Master in his own game. Darthon screams in agonized pain. "Now give us our refund." She said. Darthon kneels to the ground and they're back in the real world. It turns out Darthon was the clerk. "Haha! Yeah, we did it!" The trio said. The clerk groans. It turns out the immunity sword was a ruler.

"Dude, are you okay?" Mordecai asked with concern. "Yeah. I'm fine. Here's your refund." He pulls out the money. "No, it's cool. You should keep it." (Y/n) said. "No, no. You beat me fair and square." He hands Rigby the money. "Are you sure you're alright?" Rigby asked. "Yeah. We can take you to the hospital." Mordecai said. "Maybe we should." (Y/n) said. "No. No. I'm fine." The clerk gets in his car. "I just need an icepack." He struggles to get the seatbelt on.

"I... just... gotta... I gotta go up and lay down for a bit." He drives off, and Benson, Pops and Skips walk up. "(Y/n)! Mordecai! Rigby!" He called. "Pops! Where have you guys been?" (Y/n) asked. "We were hiding in the armor closet, then suddenly, we were in the stock room at Shoe Farm." Benson said. Rigby pulls out the money. "Good thing it was worth it!" He shakes the money. "Seven bones, baby!" He said. "Seven dollars?! We almost died for seven dollars?!" Benson asked. "The numbers aren't important." Rigby said. "It was the principle." Mordecai said. "Yeah. If we're gonna spend that kind of money, it's gotta be on a cool game." Rigby said. "Yeah. Something like Trail of Elderich or The Lair of Anthalon." (Y/n) said. "Whoa! Is that out?" Rigby asked her. "Yeah. It came out last week." She replied. "Yeayuh!" Mordecai and Rigby said as the trio run inside the store.