Dedication

Dedicated to my r/grandson. I'm r/cool now, right?

DISCLAIMER: Please don't use cocaine or any other drug. I don't want you to get addicted and/or die. If you are addicted, please seek help.

One day, a 70-year-old man named Ben Brooks decided to write another book. His previous books had been mercilessly panned by critics, with one critic even saying that a 3-year-old could write better. He wanted to remedy his writing disability...but how? Write something controversial? No, he didn't want to have to buy a new house again. Something original? Who was he, a hard working person with imagination to spare? Suddenly, he thought of a good idea. He would write the most unoriginal, cliché, cash-grab book to ever exist. It would be aimed toward kids...but what did kids like? He heard his grandson say, "R slash lost redditors," at a car wash [1]. He looked up what a redditor was, and according to his research, they were part of a site called, "Reddit". He looked up what Reddit was, and clicked on the first result. He then created an account, skimmed over some basic Reddit terminology, and shot some cocaine, because he gets inspiration from cocaine. He began writing like wildfire, and finished the whole plot outline in 5 minutes. While he was high, he memorized the plot of The Emoji Movie, because he thought it would come in handy relating to children [2]. He delivered the plot outline to the ghostwriter he trapped in the basement, and the ghostwriter began ghostwriting.

[1]: Some children who watch Reddit Youtubers, like GioFilms, rSlash, and Sorrow TV, often reference subreddits in real life (usually erroneously) for some reason.

[2]: The Emoji Movie was largely considered to be a flop for trying too hard to appeal to younger audiences, and some parts of the movie were considered to be ads for other apps, like Just Dance and Spotify.

~ A Note from the Ghostwriter ~

READER, HELP ME PLEASE! I HAVEN'T BEEN FED FOR 4 DAYS AND MY STOMACH IS BURNING WITH HUNGER! TELL POLICE AUTHOR'S PHONE IS 731-555-7236. SEND HELP!

~